Jon did not want to be here. He had barely slept last night. Just being in the same room with her, let alone the same bed, less than two feet between them was some new form of torture. Worse even than some of the physical and occupational therapy that he had undergone.
His dick had spent the whole fucking night at full mast. And nothing he did or said could convince the little traitor that it was best this way. That he did not want a pity fuck. And obviously, she had changed her mind. She could not go through with even that. Without layers of clothes, he was so repulsive that she backed out. Not even for Hope's sake could she force herself to touch him.
For Hope's sake. That was what he kept holding onto. She had woken him before dawn; she was heading into the diner, would he get Hope ready and take her to school. Was this to be their new routine? Strained politeness for the sake of their child. Of course, he had agreed.
After dropping his daughter at school, he had called the VA, scheduled another appointment. Maybe it was time to talk with the doctors about amputating his arm? If a prosthesis could be more functional, that was what mattered, right?
Then he had taken a long walk in the desert. He needed to be alone. To think. And he always did that best in nature. That was why he had used his trust fund and the money he had saved from his decade in the Marines to buy a piece of the Rockies, just north of Las Vegas. He had both the desert and the mountains on his doorstep.
The problem was that today he felt as if his soul and future was as bleak and barren as the land around him. How the hell had he thought that he could sleep in the same bed with her and not want her? Oh, it was not just the wanting. He had known that he would always want her. It was the reality of being so close and not touching her.
He chuckled, oh, he had touched her alright. She did not realize it, but she had woken him up when she crawled out of bed. How could she not? Their bodies had in sleep entwined so tightly about one another. His cock was throbbing against her stomach. Their legs tangled in one another. His good hand was wrapped through her hair, and the damaged one rested on her hip, drawing her closer.
But Jon had not opened his eyes; he had merely moaned and turned back towards his side of the bed, pretending to still be asleep until he heard the shower running down the hall. Even then, he had laid there barely moving, trying to get his confused mind, tense body, and hard cock under some semblance of control. He was not having much luck when she came back in, fully dressed, smelling of sunshine, and woke him up.
The rest of the morning, he had gotten through on autopilot. Making breakfast for Hope, helping her to dress, then walking her to school. If he thought that a walk in the desert would miraculously provide the answers he sought, he was sadly mistaken. He was no closer to a solution to this dilemma than he had been last night or for the past few weeks.
His daughter wanted and needed her father. He wanted to be a real father to her, not some part-time weekend warrior dad. But how the hell was he going to sleep in the same bed with the woman he loved and keep his distance? Physically or emotionally? And was he willing to settle for that pity fuck? For an obligation from her?
But he needed to put all that aside for now too. He had promised Miss Mandy, Chris, and Hope that he would speak to her class about being different. Though what he was going to say exactly, he was not certain. And what did he do if some of the kids were scared of him? Or made some rude comment as had happened a few times? He just had to man up, his daughter was counting on him, and that was what mattered.
Jon inhaled deeply, pushed open the door to her classroom, and was greeted by smiles from Chris, Miss Mandy, and Hope. He could do this.
***
"Mama, mama, you should have seen Papa. He was so amazing. Everyone loves him," Alicia smiled as Hope burst through the doors, followed by Chris, Amy, Mandy, her partner Sarah, and bringing up the rear, Jon. He stared at the floor, nervously.
All day, she had been regretting how last night went. She had chickened out. Plain and simple. And she knew that she had hurt him. Waking this morning to discover that during the night their bodies had become entangled, looking into his sleeping face, she had fought back the need to touch him. To caress those scars. To take him into her arms and body and reassure him that everything would be alright.
But fear of another rejection like in the desert that night, the time ticking away on the clock, and the need to get ready for work had all stood as legitimate excuses. All of which she regretted now. She forced a smile.
"I'm sorry, Jon. In all the excitement yesterday, I completely forgot. You and Hope mentioned that you were talking to her class today, but I never found out about what?"
It was Chris and Sarah who answered for him, high-fiving as Sarah shook her hips, and Chris did a bit of a wheely in the limited space between the tables. "Get your freak on," they laughed and sang as Mandy shook her head. Amy and Hope giggled.
"Actually, I wanted all the children to learn about being different. About understanding and accepting those who are. Especially those who won't make the commitment ceremony this weekend. So, I asked Sarah, Chris, Jon, and a few others to come and talk to them. Jon was a last-minute addition, thanks to Chris."
Their friend, Chris, smiled, "But the star of the show."
Hope beamed up at her father. Alicia got the distinct impression that he was blushing, but the scars made that a bit more difficult to tell for sure. "Congrats, Jon."
