She laughed.
"Yeah, I mean, no. I don't write porn. I write erotica. There's a huge difference between the two. Porn is just about sex, sex, and more sex. Erotica are real stories with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Unlike porn, they have character development, description, tension, and dialogue," she said.
He gave her a big smile.
"Cool," he said. He stared at her in between bites of his food. "So, is that a yes? Will you bunk with me," he asked?
She gave him a big smile. Even without makeup, she was more beautiful when she smiled. A naturally beautiful woman, he loved her long, lush, blonde hair, and her big breasts. He couldn't wait to buy her some new clothes. He couldn't wait to see her wearing something sexy.
"Yes," she said. "I'd love to bunk with you, that is," she said with a laugh. As long as you don't have bunk beds," she said with another laugh.
# # #
Navy SEAL and Homeless Woman, Ch. 6
Christopher invited Susan home to bunk with him.
An odd couple and an unlikely pair, a retired and decorated, retired, Navy SEAL walking with a tall, blonde, beautiful, homeless woman. Both looked as if they were walking a death march instead of embarking on something new, exciting, and wonderful. They acted more like an old, married couple who barely tolerated one another rather than a man interested in a woman who gave him the eye, and a woman indebted to her hero for saving her from being beaten, nearly raped, and possibly murdered.
Whether it was the tension from their awkwardness and the uncertainty they felt as a not yet stated, defined, and dating couple, they were a real pair of misfits suddenly thrown together. A man with bouts of PTSD and a homeless woman with PTSD, too, one wouldn't think that they'd be a good match but, clearly, by their jovial dialogue at the diner, they were a good match. No doubt, with them already having a unique history of psychological problems, they clearly felt the anticipation from their obvious, sexual attraction.
Yet, unfortunately, while walking to Christopher's apartment, their mood suddenly changed from lightheartedness to seriousness. Sex was serious business, after all, especially when one hasn't had an intimate relationship for a long while. The other had never made love to a real woman other than being with prostitutes who, even if they spoke English, they didn't speak his language. Where Susan was outgoing, albeit angry, and was confidently in control. Nonetheless, even though they had much in common, both grew uncomfortably quiet.
Christopher would have had a much easier time of sensing the changes in a woman, especially between a man and a woman, if he were located in a desert and surrounded by the hot, blazing sun and the burning, blowing sand. Without given an order and before even agreeing to accept this mission of love and romance, he was out of his element in walking in public with Susan while trying to make small talk. Navy SEALs, even retired, Navy SEALs, unless they were jabbering with their good buddies don't have the time nor see the need to make small talk.
Since nothing was small to them, war was all encompassing, and too big of a deal to talk about nonsense. Even then, he never talked about what happened when in battle. Even when asked and pressured to talk about all that they survived, they rarely talked about their dangerous missions unless talking to a psychiatrist. Certainly, Christopher would rather face an armed terrorist than a beautiful woman. He was more comfortable with a gun in his hand and a violent confrontation than with a sexual relationship filled with conversation, sensitivity, and talking about his feelings.
Nevertheless, out of their control, the stage was slowly setting for something sexual to happen between them. As if there were incoming missiles, he wanted to hit the ground and pull her down beneath him to protect her and/or to fuck her. He felt the change in the air as if there was an incoming mortar round about to land and explode at his feet. The fact of the matter was that they were both strong individuals, and both Leos, surprisingly, they were much alike. After their brief firework display was over, their stage was set for sparks to fly and ignite, hopefully later.
# # #
Be it for a head-butting, hostile exchange that would surely result in a difference of opinion and or an argument, being that she was just as strong willed and stubborn as he was, he was ready for rejection. Besides, even though she was easy on the eyes and attractive enough to make him interested and keep him interested, fortunately for him, even though, normally, she wasn't his type, she was his type now. Usually attracted to short women with dark hair, dark eyes, and small breasts, he changed. Tall, blue-eyed, blonde, and busty, sexually captivated by her, he could never say no to her.
Spirited, sexy, and smart, she was all that he now looked for in a woman. Spending what seemed like a lifetime overseas and in combat, especially in the middle east, he had grown accustomed to not having sex. Yet, having never been with a strong-will and intelligent woman, he preferred a woman that he could control instead of taking the chance of starting a relationship with a woman who wanted to control him.
Rejection or acceptance, sex, and/or love, with nothing really new but for the one they were with, both had traveled down this path many times before with others. A first time for everything, this was the first time that Christopher invited a woman to his small, albeit efficient apartment. This was the first time he asked a woman to live with him or temporarily bunk with him, as he so romantically put it.
He always found all that he needed and everything that he wanted by picking up women of the night and going to her place or to a cheap motel to hump her and fuck her. Now having second thoughts with every slow step he took, with his mind racing much faster than his feet were walking, normally, his pace was normally, much quicker than this. Never being much of a conversationalist, especially after doing all of his talking in the diner, or with a weapon in his deadly hand, while walking and thinking of something to say, he had nothing else to contribute to their conversation.
Lost for words, he had no words to describe what he was feeling. With all of this new to him, he didn't know where to begin and how to share his new feelings. He just hoped that he hadn't made a mistake by asking a homeless woman to bunk with him. Yet, as long as she didn't make too much noise, he was good. If she was going to bunk with him, she needed to be quiet. He couldn't take a woman who talked a lot about nothing.
# # #
"You know," she said picking up on his mood change. "If you'd rather I not bunk with you," she said with an uncomfortable laugh while looking up at him. "We could forget this whole thing and go our separate ways. You saved my ass, gave me sixty bucks, and fed me a big meal. You've done more than anyone has done for me. I appreciate all that you've done for me," she said. "You needn't do anything else. I'm perfectly happy returning to my alley instead of bunking with you."
Seemingly not knowing what to say, he looked at her without replying.
"I still have my bags of cans hidden behind the dumpster. I can go back to where I was living and to where I belong for the time being, and now that I have all of that leftover food that you're carrying for me, I'll have plenty to eat for several days," she said. "A life I've grown accustomed to living, homeless and living on the street is not as terribly bad as it seems on the surface, and possibly to you," she said maintaining a stiff upper lip and a brave face.
When he didn't answer her, she looked up at him, again.
"You don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine," she said raising her head and her chin high while inhaling a big breath and sticking out her enormous chest. "Really, I've come this far alone already. I really don't need or want any more of your help," she said shaking her head. "Thank you for everything but..."
# # #
He looked down at her and laughed.
"Don't be silly. This is good. Yeah, this is a good thing. Trust me, you're helping me by bunking with me as much as I'm helping you by giving you a temporary place to stay," he said as if trying to convince himself of that.
He paused as if thinking what more to say.
"If I seem reticent at all, a creature of a stringent routine to get me through my day, it's because I'm used to being alone. To be honest, with my routine so strict, I'm not very good with change," he confessed. "Unless I'm beating the shit out of someone, with me a loner, I'm not good talking to people, especially to attractive women."
She laughed.
"Trust me. I know. We all have our routines. Imagine me being flooded out of my apartment to roam the street, live in a shelter, and eat at a mission. Quite the change, I swear I'd have to make less of a change and would have had a better life had I gone to prison," she said. "Instead of cuddling up with a piece of cardboard in a doorway without food to eat, at least I'd have three meals a day and a bunk with a pillow and a blanket to sleep."
He smiled down at her again.
"I hear you," he said. "Speaking of prison, don't forget, much in the way of someone serving a 30-year prison sentence, not that the Navy was prison but, longer being in than being out, I was a Navy SEAL for 30 years of my life. That drill, that discipline, and taking orders is the only routine that I know. The Navy was my home and my good buddies were my family. I always had a buddy to watch my back and never a woman to share my life."
Susan nodded her head.
"I understand. Being retired from the military must be a big change for you," she said rolling her eyes when not understanding how anyone could make a career out of the military.
# # #
Accustomed to taking orders, he didn't have to make his own decisions about what to do, when to do it, and where to go. He wasn't allowed to go wherever he wanted to go. He wasn't allowed to do anything without given an order to obey. In the way of a prison yard but with everyone having guns, while always in harm's way, without him realizing it, he was as much prisoner of the United States military as he was a proud Navy SEAL.
