Many thanks once again go out to Aaroneous for his hard work and hours put in editing my work.
Nashville Skyline.
"Come on Joe. Stop kidding around. It's booked, right?"
"For the tenth and final time, yes. It's been booked for a month."
"The place we like? The one on Twenty-first Ave.?"
"Yes."
"The old tobacco place, right? The one with the pool?" I hesitated with my answer for longer than I should have. "Please Joe."
"How many times do I..."
"Flights?"
"I swear to God Drew. You're seconds away from being beaten to death."
"Yeah baby! Fuckin Smashville. I didn't want to doubt you Joe, but I'm usually the guy who books all the..."
"Not this time. This time you can relax."
Knowing this was my younger brother's final party weekend while being single didn't ease the pain of having him go over each and every item and detail on my list of things to book. And just to piss me off, he did it multiple times a day.
Andrew or Drew, as he is usually affectionately known, is my brother. He and I work together at our father's cabinetry business in Milwaukee. Drew took over the office end after he finished his business courses at college. Me, Joe Jr., I didn't go to college for business. Instead, I took a more hands on approach by taking woodworking courses. I like the idea of building and creating far more than the numbers aspect of our business. And our father, Joe Brooks Sr., he will spend from June until October at his lake front home just outside of town. But for the other months, he and his new wife can be found floating on his yacht anywhere between Key West and any small island in the Caribbean.
For the most part, what we have works. With 19 full-time employees, we have a good operation going. It's hard work, but at the end of the day, we all earn a very fair living.
Anyway, the reason I bring up working together, is we also live together. It's my condo, but Drew has lived with me for the past two years. But this too, will soon be changing.
This coming weekend, we are going to Nashville to celebrate his upcoming wedding. A bachelor party of sorts. Just a tame drink and golf weekend.
The next week, he and his future wife are required to do a pre-marital getaway retreat, and on the weekend after, it is their big day.
So, a month from now, I will once again have my place all to myself.
*****
"Okay. Okay. I get it. Just run it by me one more time."
My look alone should have scared him away, but there he stood. Looking at me like I was Santa Claus with a bag full of presents.
"We leave here at ten. We board our flight at one. We met up with Noah, Ethan, and our car in Nashville at three. We'll stop at Corkdork's and pick up all the beer and booze we need to hold us over until Monday. If things go as planned, we'll arrive at the 1865 right at four. They'll text me a code. The gates will open, and fifteen minutes later, you'll have a cold beer in your hand, and your dumb ass in the swimming pool."
"The four of us are sharing the place?"
My head was actually starting to hurt.
"No, we are not. I've told you this several times. They are in their own condo. We have a two bed, two bath unit to ourselves.
"Shit, bro! It sounds too good to be true."
"Oh yes it does," I said sarcastically.
"What about the extracurricular activities?"
"It Nashville. There's plenty to do."
"I know, but..."
"We have a triple "A" ball game on Thursday night. Booze bike on Friday afternoon. Our concert at the Ryman Friday night. Saturday is free for you to do whatever you desire and Sunday afternoon, we have a tee off time at Gaylord Springs."
"I'm so freakin pumped."
"Come on? You? Pumped? I would have never guessed."
His right fist landed squarely on my left shoulder.
"Hey. No rough housing. That's how people get hurt on the jobsite. Aren't you guys on the Health and Safety Committee?" our father yelled as he approached us.
Senior put his arms around both of us. His sons. His only two children. Our father was always affectionate when pulled us into him for a hug.
"Dad, why don't you come with us?" Drew asked.
"Ha. Could you imagine us all together down there? The three Brooks boys chewin Smashville a brand-new ass. I'd hate to show the pair of you up. Plus, I ain't braggin', but I don't think you little bastards could keep up to your old man. In my day, I spilled more whiskey down my gullet then I care to remember. Itta be a shitshow for sure."
He was trash talking, chirping and shaking us with his strong arms. Arms built up from years working with his hands.
"Let me tell you boys a few words of wisdom before go you gettin..."
"Dad, stop. You've told us a billion times."
"Well, shut your trap, Drew, so I can make it a billion and one."
Our father, with his infinite wisdom, gave us what he liked to say was a "Weekend Safety Brief". He always told us, "Don't add to the population. Don't subtract from the population. Stay out of the hospital, the newspaper, and jail. If you do go to jail, be sure to establish dominance quickly."
We had heard it enough times we no longer laughed, but he always howled at his own words.
"Don't worry about us dad. Or at least not me. I'm in the clear either way. Junior's in charge, so if I end up in any trouble, it's all on him."
"I like your thinkin Drew. Always shovel the shit onto someone else's plate."
"Of course, you do. You're both cut from the same cloth. And neither of you take responsibility for your actions. The pair of you make me wish I was adopted," I told my father and brother.
"Come on Joe, you should try and remember what dad always says."
"Yeah, I remember everything he says. I also remember he doesn't use logic or common sense. That's why his current wife is younger than us."
"Damn, Junior. That's funny. True, but funny. And I'll let you in on something about your new step-mama. She's about two years away from me having to find a younger one."
"Damn dad. I wished you would have said something earlier. Maybe I would have held off asking Hillary to marry me and went after Tiff. At least I know she'll have money when you guys get divorced. Hell, with her shares and mine, I'll own half this company instead of a third," My brother teased our father.
"Sorry to break it to you boys, especially you Andrew, you little shit. But marrying Tiff won't make you rich. A hundred grand and a two-year-old BMW is all she gets. That's why old guys like me pay big bucks to have lawyers cover our asses. Prenup, prenup, prenup. I like my fat wallet and I want it to stay that way."
Drew and I looked at him and shook our heads. We were sure he was kidding. We knew how well our mother lived from her share of the divorce.
"Look, you guys need to misbehave a bit. It's good for you once and a while. Cast your line into some unknown waters. Troll for some big ole trophy girl. Hook her. Reel her in and stuff her. Get it? Hook her. Stuff her. You know, 'hooker'." Senior again roared at his own words. "Junior, you find yourself a little sweety to snuggle up with and give me a call if she has a sister. But most important, you keep dick weed here outta trouble."
Releasing his grip, he took what in "his world", was his most fatherly stance and tone.
"You boys have some extra cash put aside in case you need bail money? If not, tell Jennifer to give you a couple grand from petty cash." He was actually serious.
"We're good."
"You never know boys. You never know. It's called Smashville for a reason."
As bad as he could be, he was a good, no, he was a great father. He always had our backs without question. But behind closed doors, when as he said, "the chips are on the table", he could be stern and all business. Other than his women problems, our father had brought us up well.
*****
True to my word, we headed to the airport at 11:00am. Drew was practically vibrating in the passenger seat. He was so excited, I'm sure if we were traveling on an international flight, he wouldn't have made it past the TSA.
Our cousin Noah and Drew's buddy from college, Ethan, were waiting at the Hertz lot. We had prebooked an SUV, but there wasn't much need for one other than sightseeing, because everyone was going to be drinking. And, for good reason, I was the only one registered to drive. When they saw us coming, the screaming officially started.
"Bring you daughters home, cuz the big man is in town."
"You know it brother," my brother shouted.
Drew handed out a round of hugs. He loved and tried to live up to his college reputation of being a ladies' man.
Unplanned, our entourage of groom and groom's men showed up at the 1865 condo complex a bit after 5:00pm. Normally we would have been on time, but being in a strange state, our liquor store shopping stop took us way past the allotted time.
"I'd like to make a toast. Thanks for the honor of the invite and the privilege of being in your wedding party. It is a very special occasion."
It was a nice toast by the pool and normally I would have had words to reply with, but my brother beat me to it.
"Ethan, my life is one big special occasion."
He wasn't lying.
Nudging my little brother in the side, I tried to give him some brotherly advice. Advice I knew he didn't want to hear.
"It's long weekend pal. Slow and steady wins the race."
"Slow and steady, my ass. It's fast and furious for me this weekend, or it's nothing at all."
"Nothing at all for a few hours a day, sounds like a good plan."