Preface: Some of this story is true, at least most of the first few paragraphs. And she did divorce me while I was on the trail. Due to some medical issues I had to leave the trail last year but my jeep is packed and I'm heading back in a few days to hike the last 1,000 miles. I write a lot of post divorce stories for the obvious reasons.
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My wife Kathy knew I intended to retire as soon as I was able and that would be close to when I turned 61. We discussed it often including moving some place away from the cold northeast winters. Even though she was almost a dozen years younger than me, I always assumed she was going to retire with me. The investments I made while working would keep us comfortable for the rest of our lives.
You can understand how shocked I was when she announced she never had any plans to retire with me.
I remember yelling, "What the fuck Kathy, we talked frequently about all the traveling we would do when I retired."
"We talked about all the traveling you would do when you retired, you weren't listening to me, what a shock!"
Things got worse before I headed to a bar down the street. We didn't speak for over a week, and I tried to figure out what I was going to do with my life going forward. A friend of mine gave me a copy of Bill Bryson's book, "A Walk in the Woods. I also watched the movie. I knew what I was going to do.
After spending hours doing research and a fortune at REI, I started doing day hikes and then some overnight hikes, somehow I managed to survive the hornets' nest I step in and my tumbles down a hill side.
I discussed hiking the AT with Kathy, she made me watch "Wild" with Reese Witherspoon and said I should enjoy my retirement. The following March, I was loading my Jeep to head to Georgia as Kathy came home from work.
"How long are you going for Jack, you look like you're packing for months."
"I told you Kathy, the trail is 2200 miles long, it will take months. Look who's not listening to who, I told you multiple times. I even gave you Bill Bryson's book about the trail. You never read it or watched the movie like I recommended."
"Hiking is your thing Jack, why would I want to read a book or watch a movie about it. When do you plan on leaving?"
"I'm waiting on a package from Amazon that will probably come tomorrow. I plan on leaving the next day."
Kathy gave me that look that said she was not happy with me and stormed off into the house. She never came out of what had been our bedroom for dinner, but I heard her watching "A Walk in the Woods."
In the morning, she came down to my study as she drank her coffee.
"I think you've lost your mind Jack, at least Bryson had someone hiking with him. You've never hiked that far and the last time you hiked overnight, you came home with over a dozen bee stings plus countless bruises when you fell down the hill."
"But I'm so much smarter now Kathy."
"You're a fucking idiot Jack. And you did an end run around me and got the kids on your side about this insanity. They were so thrilled about your plans. I hope you enjoy yourself and make sure your insurance and will are up to date before you leave."
And that was my last verbal conversation with Kathy.
I set up a group text to keep Kathy and the kids aware of where I was. Kathy insisted I take her off.
A few days later I was on Springer Mountain beginning the AT. Kathy's attitude pissed on my mood for the first few days but there were dozens of people like me starting off with hope in their eyes that was positively contagious. I would spend my nights in and around the shelters along the trail. Usually, I slept in my tent but sometimes I would sleep in a shelter if a bad storm was blowing through. But there was always a group of us eating dinner or morning coffee at the shelter's picnic tables. As things worked, you would end up spending multiple dinners with the same group of people, some would hike faster and move on.
I loved the comradery, and I stopped worrying about Kathy's attitude. The AT was tough, physically and mentally. I would lay down to sleep with my legs throbbing in pain knowing I was going to do the same thing tomorrow and the next day and the next day. I wanted to do cartwheels when I stepped out of Georgia and into North Carolina until I realized I still had 2000 miles to go.
A woman was attacked by a bear while we were in the Smokeys which put a damper on my spirits and Kathy's fucking idiot remark again echoed in my head. Cell phone service was intermittent, but I tried to post pictures on Facebook as often as I could. I loved the comments I received. Kathy never commented or liked any of my pictures.
The trail weaved back and forth between Tennessee and North Carolina for another 300 miles. I was sure parts of my body would never recover. A big storm blew in one night, I think I was in Tennessee. The temperature dropped into the 20's while my sleeping bag was only rated to 32 degrees. The wind was whipping my tent around making it impossible to sleep. Things were not any better in the morning, the trail was covered in snow, the wind had painted the trees with sleet covering the white blazes that marked the trail.
Maybe Kathy was right, I was a fucking idiot. I was fighting my way up and down hills, hoping I was still on the trail, while I could not get the thought of quitting out of my head. If I had cell service, I would have called one of the many shuttle drivers to come rescue my ass. When I did finally have service, I texted a woman, Hiking Ginger who I met on the trail when I was in the Smokeys. She was from North Dakota and usually had a different way of looking at things. I told her I was thinking about quitting. She said, "Never quit on a bad day." Hiking Ginger was her trail name she picked up for her flaming red hair. I could picture her saying that. We bonded since we were about the same age, unlike the college kids who represented most of the other hikers.
Like magic, as I read her text, the sky cleared, the sun came out and the temperature jumped twenty degrees. I stopped at the next shelter after only a ten-mile hike and hung up my tent to dry.
Thoughts of quitting were still running through my head as I napped on the picnic table and wondered what that would look like. Top of the list was seeing Kathy gloat while rubbing it in that I was a fucking idiot. But then what? I didn't start this hike because I was happy at home to begin with. The idea of sitting around waiting for Kathy to come home so we could watch TV while we stared at our phones scared the shit out of me.
The next morning after a good night's sleep, I set off with a new determination. My kids were cheering me on after I explained my trials of the day before. Occasionally I would take a day off and grab a hotel room for a night, wash the stink off me and do my laundry. I did so in the next town, a hot shower never felt better. I picked up a boot dryer at Walmart and started the next day with dry boots.
Hiking Ginger was at the next shelter I stopped at; I was expecting her to be a week ahead of me
"Hey Ginger," I said as I dumped my pack. "I thought you would have been weeks ahead of me by now."
Hiking Ginger, one of the happiest people on the trail, looked at me and I thought she was going to start crying. I sat down next to her; she wrapped her arms around me, and she did start crying. We were friendly on the trail, but this physical closeness was unexpected.
Finally, she calmed down enough to break the hold he had on my neck. "I just got back from North Dakota. My husband told me he was divorcing me, so I flew home to try and save my marriage. He told me it was too late and that he found someone else. The only thing I had left was hiking so I flew back here. I'll have to go home again for a week or two to get my shit out of the house and put it in storage until I finish the trail."
I tried offering some words to console her, but I had nothing. The conversation shifted to other important things to hikers, bear sightings the availability of water, how many people I have been seeing. I was wondering if my marriage was heading in the same direction, and I wondered what that would look like.
Hiking Ginger and I hiked in the same manner we did in the Smokey's; I would hit the trail before her in the morning, she would pass me around noon, and we would camp near the same shelter every night. She never brought up her husband again, but I had to ask her about it the night before she was heading home to move her stuff into storage.
She said, "I'm sad about the end, but I am in a place I love, doing what I love with wonderful people. I'm not going to let that asshole ruin it for me."
By the time she was back on the trail, I was a few weeks ahead of her, but she was going to try and catch up.
McAfee's Knob is probably the most famous point on the Appalachian Trail. I was a week away when I received notice from a lawyer that Kathy was divorcing me. If I was halfway intelligent, I would have seen it coming. I stepped off the trail and into a hotel where her lawyer had me served with the divorce papers. There was a lawyer I knew from one of the kids' baseball teams that I contacted. He agreed to represent me; I had no idea if he was any good. What I really wanted was to get it done and I didn't want to leave the trail.
It took a week for Kathy and I to agree to the split. My lawyer said her proposal may seem like I'm getting shafted, but it was well in line with the norms. I told him if I didn't have to come home, I didn't give a fuck, I didn't even care why she wanted a divorce. In an act of spite, I mailed her my wedding ring and headed back on the trail. I was still angry when I stepped out onto McAfee's Knob and all my anger went away. There were a bunch of day hikers and others on the knob, and they took a bunch of pictures of me sitting on the knob. I posted the pictures on Facebook and loved the feedback.
That night I had just set up my tent when Hiking Ginger dropped her pack near mine. She was surprised she had caught up with me so quickly.
"I had to lay over in Pearisburg for a few days to take care of some business at home."
"Does that business explain why you're no longer wearing your wedding ring."
"Why aren't you the observant hiker," I said with a grin.
"I'm sorry Snapshot, you don't seem very upset, not nearly as upset as I was and still am."
"In the words of someone much wiser that me, 'I'm sad about the end, but I am in a place I love, doing what I love with wonderful people. I'm not going to let that asshole ruin it for me.' Besides, I climbed McAfee's Knob today, I was on top of the world!"
Hiking Ginger and I hiked in the same manner we did before, I would hit the trail before her in the morning, she would pass me around noon, and we would camp near the same shelter every night. She would join me when I stepped off to stay in a hotel. On one occasion, she told me she didn't have the money for a hotel and was heading to a hostel. I never stayed in a hostel and had heard plenty of horror stories. There's a funny scene about hostels in a "Walk in the Woods."
"Ginger, a room with two doubles is the same price I was going to pay for a king, I'll book the two doubles if you feel safe enough to share a room with me."
"You're joking right, that I might not feel safe sharing a room with you. We've been camping next to each other for weeks in the middle of nowhere. Are you sure you won't mind giving up the privacy."
I assured her I was okay, but it wasn't the privacy that concerned me. For the first time maybe, I saw Ginger cleaned up and out of hiking gear. She stepped out of the bathroom in a sleeper that came down to midthigh but the light from the bathroom was shining through making it transparent. Ginger saw me looking and then I noticed her nips poking through. I was sorry I had already taken my shower. By that time, it was after eight, commonly known as hiker midnight on the trail so we said our good nights. But I laid awake for a while, wondering if she was always that attractive underneath her hiking gear.
When we got back on the trail, Hiking Ginger was passing me later and later in the day. One night we arrived at the shelter at the same time.
