OMG, what did I just do? I'd spent the past couple of days forcing myself to
not
tell Dave I was falling in love with him, and then, right out of the blue, I whispered "I love you, Dave" into his ear before taking off for my class. I didn't even give him a chance to respond, turning around quickly and heading out to the Journalism Building, where my class was. I never even turned around to see if he had a stunned expression on his face. Man, I was just so
stupid!
Trouble is, I was also just plain elated! There was a spring in my step that hadn't been there before, and I was smiling from ear-to-ear, at nobody, at everybody. I mean, I was happy, happy in a way I almost never felt before. And then I realized: the last time I was just this plain happy was last Friday, the first time we had made love. I had been determined to make his first time a wonderful experience, and somehow, some way, it was so wonderful to me that I had been trying to convince myself that it really was my first time, too. I had been just plain overjoyed, and the next morning, I actually shushed Dave, to keep him from saying that he loved me, when it was obviously way too soon.
And then I did this. I wanted to be mad at myself, I wanted to keep berating myself for being so f'ing stupid, but I just couldn't. As dumb as I knew it was, I was happy I had done it, happy I had said it.
I must've really stunned Dave, because I checked my phone as soon as I got to my class. I expected a text from him, but there wasn't one. It was right as class was beginning, and now there was no time for texting.
About ten minutes into class, I got a text; good thing I had my phone on vibrate, 'cause the professor
really
doesn't like students' cell phones going off in class. I sneaked it out of my pocket when he wasn't looking, and opened up the text.
OMG, Marcie, that's awesome! Love U 2!
That
was a text I loved getting! Now all that I had to do was figure out what we were going to do next! One thing I did realize: I had to slow down on this stuff, because it was driving everything else out of my head. So I texted back:
Have 2 run back 2 dorm after class. See U 4 dinner? XOXOXO
After I sent it, I wondered if he knew what girls meant by XOXOXO, but Hell, I was kind of surprised that I'd sent that, 'cause I'd never been the XOXOXO type of girl before. Amanda would probably escort me to Student Health for a drug test if she knew what I'd done.
She wasn't there when I got back to the dorm, which was both good and bad. I had school stuff I had to get done, but I also wanted to talk. My mind was in a whirl, but it wasn't whirling quite as chaotically when I wasn't with Dave. Then there was a knock on the door, and a male's voice, "Marcy, you in there?"
Blanding Tower was a coed dorm, with men and women on alternating floors. Supposedly, guys couldn't get onto the girls' floors without a girl opening the door for him, but that never seemed to work.
"Yeah, hold on," I said, getting up to answer the door. There was Eric, one of the (too few) guys who had tried to get into my pants and hadn't succeeded.
"Hey, Marcy, we're having a big party at the ΔΣΦ house this Friday, and I wondered if Amanda and you could come?"
It wasn't that Eric was a bad guy, or ugly, or anything. He just didn't do anything for me, even though I knew he had the hots for me, bad. Of course, it's possible that he'd have the hots for
any
girl who actually paid attention to him.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Eric, but my boyfriend and I are going to be out camping this weekend. But I'll tell Amanda that you asked; I don't know if she has plans or not."
I could tell that he was disappointed with my answer, but all he said was, "OK, thanks anyway."
I got a little more classwork done, and then Amanda showed up. She took one look at me and said, "What, got dressed out of Dave's closet this morning? I've heard of boyfriend jeans, but that looks like boyfriend shirt to me."
It is his, and I really feel sexy in it. I mean, it's a fairly average shirt and all, but Dave was the last person to wear it, and I like that." Then I wrapped my arms around me and hugged myself.
"Damn, girl, you really do have it bad."
"Oh, Hell, Amanda, you just have no
idea!
I just hope that I don't screw this up, because everything seems so great, and I'm just on pins and needles all the time that I'm going to really mess things up.
"And, by the way, Eric came by, and told me that there's a party at the ΔΣΦ house on Friday, and asked us to go. I'm supposed to go camping with Dave this weekend and . . . ."
"You told me about going camping. Really? As in out in the woods?
You?
"
"Yes, me. Of course, plans might change, because I should start my period on Thursday, and I don't know how well that'll work out. I guess that I'd better ask Dave. Anyway, I told Eric that I'd pass along the invitation to you."
"Shit, he's a nice enough guy and all, but
bor