PREPARING FOR THE DATE
I was really excited that Melissa had agreed to go to dinner with me but now I had a few things to think about before I picked her up.
For one, where would I take her. Dinner would take some time but how about afterward. The easiest decision here would be to go somewhere that has music. But I was a really bad dancer and I doubted there would be a place within a reasonable distance where you simply listen to the music. And if we wound up with hours of conversation I was concerned because I wasn't a joke teller or even an interesting conversationalist, and I wasn't sure we'd have anything in common to talk about what with our age difference.
Perhaps more importantly, I had to be able to answer two questions that were almost bound to be raised, marriage and age. The marriage question was actually the easier of the two. I could just be honest. I had never asked a young lady out in all my years of marriage but I was now sure Joan and I were headed for divorce. Melissa might not believe me but it was true. This issue might not come up but after five years in the consulting field I was very aware of the power of the informal communications systems at our client locations. It seemed that almost before we started a project the office people knew all about us, not just professionally but personally as well. This could have even been the reason Melissa hesitated as long as she did before saying yes when I asked her out.
The age question would be more difficult. If it came up early in the evening it would indicate that it was a real concern for Melissa. No doubt the spread from twenty-three to thirty-eight was a huge gap! I did look young for my age so I could shave a few years off in my answer, but that meant telling her a lie, something I was loath to do. I figured out at a young age that I was not a good liar. Playing nickel-dime-quarter poker in high school, a game you could hardly bluff in, the others seemed to know when I had a good hand and when I didn't. Apparently, my face was a dead give-away. The solution for me over the years was to tell the truth or say nothing, if that was an option. And, of course, I quit playing poker at a young age.
Later in the day while meeting with Tom Chambers, the programmer, I asked him if there was anyplace nearby that had live music. "oh," he said. "You've got to go to the new Holiday Inn! It's a bit of a drive but it's the only place that has live music during the week and it has really good food too if you want to eat dinner there. It's a new concept Holiday Inn has started and we've got one of the first ones. They call it the Holidome." Of course, I didn't mentioned to him that I was taking Melissa.
One of the things I did not think about was the fact that I would be cheating on my marriage to Joan. In my mind just taking a woman to dinner on a personal level (as opposed to a professional level, which I had done) was a form of cheating. But surprisingly, I felt no guilt, had no pangs of conscience. I really did consider my marriage over!
THE START OF THE DATE
I arrived at Melissa's house right at 7PM. Another of the things they stressed in "consulting 101" was that arriving early was almost as bad as being late so I followed this practice in my personal life as well as my professional life.
Her parent's house was a small very thin building. It reminded me of my grandparents' houses in South Philadelphia, except it was free-standing whereas theirs were row houses. It was just one room wide, about 12-15 feet, and stretched to the rear. I assumed that it had a living room in front, then a dining room and finally a kitchen in the back, just like my grandparents had. It was a two-story building so the bedrooms would be on the second floor. There was an open porch in the front and the porch light was on. I went up onto the porch but before I rang the bell the door opened and Melissa came out. She must have been looking out the window, then put her coat on and buttoned it up as soon as she saw me.
She doesn't want her parents to see me.
She was wearing a long overcoat (it WAS January in central Pennsylvania!) which had three large buttons, one at the neck, one at the breasts and one at the waist. The coat was open from the waist down. Melissa held the two sides of the ankle length coat closed with one hand. When we got to the car, I opened the door for her and swiveled the seat so she could sit down directly from the curb. After she sat I told her to raise her feet, then swiveled the seat back to its regular position. All this time she kept the coat closed with her hand. I pulled out the seat belt and gave it to her to fasten, then I went around to the driver's side of the car. As I got in I could see that she was sitting very stiffly, still clutching the flaps of her coat. I noticed she was wearing the same shoes she wore to work, the ones with the three inch full heels.
"Wow, this is a really nice car! What kind is it?"
"It's an Oldsmobile. Of course, it's not mine. It's a rental car and it is nicer than what I usually get."
"Well, it sure is fancy and these seats are so plush, and I've never heard of a car where the seats swivel." The seats were covered in velour, a much warmer fabric than leather or plastic.
By now I had moved the shifter on the center console to drive and we were on our way.
"Where are we going for dinner?"
"I talked with Tom this afternoon and he said the Holiday Inn is very good. Have you been there?"
"I went once to go dancing but I've never eaten there."
"Well, good. Since you've been there you can help me if I make a wrong turn. Incidentally, I notice everyone at work calls you Lissa, but I think Melissa is a beautiful name, so I hope you don't mind if that's what I call you."
"Not at all. There are plenty of people who call me by each of the names. Tell me Bob, how old are you?"
That didn't take long. Two minutes to admire the car and then BANG!I've GOT to lie!
"I'm thirty-three." I shaved off five years because that would make time adjustments easier, like when I graduated from high school or college.
"Oh, I thought you were younger, about twenty-eight."
Oh, no. I could have taken off ten years and she would have accepted it.
"Well, I'm thirty-three and you're twenty-three. I don't think ten years is all that much of a difference."
"Actually, it's more like nine years. I'll be twenty-four next month."
"Oh, when is your birthday?"
"The twenty-fourth of February."
"Ah, so you'll be twenty-four on the twenty-fourth."
From that point on we made small talk for the rest of the trip. I asked her about her job, though I already knew what she did. I asked about her daughter, but I avoided anything to do with her marriage or divorce. During the entire trip which took about 40 minutes she sat very straight and held her coat closed even though the car temperature was very comfortable.
The front of the Holiday Inn was certainly a big step up from the typical Holiday Inn found in small towns at that time. There were plenty of available parking places near the entrance so I skipped the covered circular drive at the entrance. I opened the door and swung Melissa's seat out for her. She stepped out, still holding her coat shut.
