My Bags Were Packed

My wife Jesse came in the front door from her yoga class or wherever she had been disappearing to on Saturday mornings wanting to know why my suitcases were in my Jeep. I gave her a look.

"Jack, please tell me what's going on."

I sent her the picture, a selfie of my naked wife and a naked man in front of a mirror. The were hugging each other so the picture was PG.

When she saw the picture she said, "He only sent this because I broke it off with him. Please Jack, don't leave me. Let me explain."

I couldn't find my voice, I sent her another text: "No, I don t want to hear it, I don't care what you have to say, I'm out."

And out the door I went with her chasing after me. She was trying to get into my Jeep as I was backing out of the driveway until she tripped and hit the ground. After turning off my phone, I headed to a hotel I booked three hours away. Once settled, I closed all our accounts and found an extended stay for the next month.

The only time I turned my phone back on was when I was at work on Monday. There were literally a hundred missed calls with voice mails and almost that many text messages from Jesse. I sent our three kids the picture and said, "your mom found someone new, we'll be getting a divorce." The kids tried calling me and texting me but I really couldn't talk about it. That prompted another round of phone calls and texts from Jesse.

A friend recommended a lawyer and I had an appointment for that Friday. That she cheated wouldn't matter, she would still get half my 401k and half the house. I didn't care. She would be served the following week.

The following Wednesday Jesse was served and was trying to get into my building. I already had her blocked. We worked on some government contracts so our security was pretty tight. Jesse refused to take no for an answer and found herself arrested for trespassing.

I found myself in a shitty little furnished apartment, little seemed inadequate. The divorce seemed to drag on, I didn't care. What I cared about was the lawyer calling me every week to tell me nothing. Eventually I got the call I was expecting, Jesse was demanding counseling. My lawyer made it clear that I didn't have any options unless I wanted to find myself in contempt of court and sitting in the county jail. And I had to at least pretend I was participating.

Jesse started the first session, apologizing and that it was a mistake. I had printed some copies of the pictures and the meta data showing the picture was three months old when I received it. On the bottom I wrote, "it wasn't a mistake, it was months of mistakes." Jesse ran out of the room.

The counselor asked me if I saw any chance of reconciliation, I shook my head no. He asked if I was a man of few words. I shook my head yes. He laughed, and said the court ordered 12 sessions, we'll do every other week and he ended with good luck. I assumed I was dismissed and left.

Jesse started off the next session by explaining why she had an affair. While she talked, I looked out the window. I was a civil engineer by trade and was fascinated by the old train trestle across the way. Jesse started complaining that I wasn't listening to her, I repeated back what she said over the last five minutes verbatim. Except where Jesse said affair, I inserted unfaithful. She started crying again and left. I smiled at the counselor and left.

Jesse started week three by trying to talk to me instead of the counselor and asked if I would at least talk to her, I shook my head no. She asked if I could please find it in my heart to forgive her, I shook my head no. Jesse dropped to her knees in front of me, "Please Jack, say something, anything, yell at me, curse me, call me a slut, please let me hear your voice again."

I shook my head no and left. That ended up being our last session. It was a hard decision but I decided to buy out Jesse's share of the house. I ordered one of those big dumpsters and shed any sign of Jesse she left behind, including everything in our bedroom.

After the fiasco with Jesse trying to get into the building, the office became aware of my divorce. Some women began hitting on me, guys wanted to take me out to drown my sorrows. I shook my head at all of them. Basically, the only people I spoke to were my boss, the other engineers on my project, and my admin. All of those conversations were work related.

I eventually sent my kids my new number and spoke to them. I kept the calls with my kids short, they offered their support and I thanked them. Whenever the calls turned to Jesse bashing or anything to do with Jesse, I ended them.

I could easily go through a whole weekend without saying a single word.

My admin was very sharp and caught on. She came into my office and sat down on a Monday morning and asked me how may words I said over the weekend. I took a pad of paper and wrote a big zero on it.

She asked me why, I wrote, "if I talked, I would cry and I wouldn't be able to stop."

"It will eat you up from the inside Jack."

I wrote, "I would welcome the end"

She went to come over and hug me but I held up my hand, instead she left my office crying.

That is essentially the story I told the woman sitting across from me at her kitchen table. I woke up in her bed an hour earlier, hung over and feeling my all American best.

It's odd waking up in a strange room and having no idea how you got there. A feminine room I think. There was a wedding picture sitting on an end table. I realized an older version of the woman in the picture was sitting next to me in the bed. She was in a bathrobe and I was under the covers in my underwear. It was hard to tell but she was almost pretty and maybe a little overweight,

"Here Jack, take these," and she handed me a couple of Tylenol.

"Are you married," I asked, trying to figure out how fucked I was.

"No Jack, that's an old picture. I thought I looked good in it so I didn't toss it with the other remnants of my marriage. I guess you don't remember we were both out celebrating the anniversary of the end of our marriages last night."

"I remember that's why I went out, I don't usually drink, and I'm sorry but I can't remember your name."

"My name is Karen and my friends and I quickly noticed you weren't a drinker. They elected me to be your guardian angel last night. Don't worry, we didn't do anything last night. I wasn't even sure you would be alive this morning. Let's go have some coffee."

I looked under the blankets to confirm all I had on was underpants.

Karen said, "Oh yes, you had a little accident last night, your clothes are in the washer. I have a pair of sweats you can put on. I'll meet you downstairs, the bathroom is the door on the left."

She handed me the sweats and closed the door behind her. Standing up was an adventure and as I was using the bathroom, I realized the underwear I was wearing were not mine.

Even from the top of the stairs the coffee smelled amazing. Karen handed me a cup of coffee as I sat down. She said it was black and strong just like I told her I like it.

"Karen, how bad did I embarrass myself last night?"

"Well, you didn't try and hit on any of us, and you didn't try and pick any fights. But I think you hit all the other biggies."

"So, my clothes are in the washer because I threw up on myself."

"That's an understatement Jack."

"I don't smell any vomit on me, is this story going to get worse?"

"My girlfriend and I were able to get you in the shower and clean you up pretty good."

"I'm sorry I was such a burden on you guys last night."

"Don't be Jack, my husband was such a cold hearted bastard when he divorced me. I had no warning and never suspected he was cheating on me. I came home and found divorce papers on the kitchen table with a note saying he met somebody. It was hard not to believe all men were cold hearted bastards. And then we meet this guy who's crying because his wife cheated on him. Made me see humanity in a different light."

"I cried?"

"Yes Jack, you cried, not in the bar but all the way to my house, while you were in the shower and as we got you into bed."

"My admin has been trying to get me to cry for almost a year, she'll be so happy."

"What else did I say?"

"Not much Jack, not much coherently anyway, why don't you tell me your story now that your somewhat sober."

That's how I ended up telling her the story I described in the first few paragraphs.

Surprisingly, I didn't cry again. I did tell her I never told anyone that story before, my kids knew bits and pieces and I sent them the picture.

Karen said I should eat, but she didn't have much in the house and suggested we go out for breakfast. I readily agreed since I believed my stomach was pretty empty. My clothes were dried but my shoes were still wet so I ended up wearing a pair of her son's sneakers.

We had a really pleasant conversation over breakfast, She was a software engineer so we came at things with the same engineering logic, she had two boys in college, my oldest was done and my younger two were moving along. But as breakfast was ending, so was our time together. We both sensed it.

"Karen, let me take you to dinner next Friday please?"

"Why Jack, why would you want to take me to dinner?"

"Let's see, a payback to my guardian angel who watched out for me when I was in no condition to watch out for myself. Or how about a compassionate person I would like to get to know better, or maybe because you're the first person I was able to talk to about the worst experience of my life, and since you already saw me naked, and crying, how much further can I fall."

"Jack, I'll say yes, but you must understand that I have never dated anyone but my husband in a quarter of a century."

"Were pretty much alike then Karen, maybe this is fate."

As we pulled up to her house, there was another car in the driveway.

"That's my best friend Joyce. She helped me with you last night. She wants to see you sober."

"That's got to be a step up from the man she met last night" I said.

"Well hello Jack," Joyce said as we entered Karen's house. "I'm glad to see your alive although I did have my concerns last night. By the way, do you mind if I send you the bill to have my car cleaned."

"I truly apologize Joyce. I don't know what I was thinking, I'm not much of a drinker and have no objections to taking care of any damage I did."

Joyce was smiling and I was pretty sure I would never see a bill and I would never see an end to her teasing. She seemed like that kind of person, the world was meant to be laughed at and she was going to lead the way.

I eventually said my goodbyes, thanked them both for watching out for me and headed home. My condo felt different, everything felt different. Monday morning at work felt different. My admin was on my ass as soon as she saw me on Monday.

"You better start talking Jack, I'm assuming your word count this weekend is a lot higher than zero," she asked.

With almost diarrhea of the mouth, I told her the whole story of my weekend and the tale of the ending of my marriage to Jesse. I couldn't shut myself up. My admin came around my desk and hugged me. I didn't stop her and hugged her back.

"You don't know how happy I am Jack, I was so afraid I would come in one morning and find you hanging from the ceiling, all because of a woman who didn't deserve you."

My admin suggested a place to take Karen for dinner. The waiting list for a reservation was a year long but my admin knew someone who got us in for Friday. Karen was shocked when I told her where we were going.

And she looked like a million dollars when I picked her up. I may have said she was almost pretty but on that night, she was so much more. I think I told her she was beautiful a dozen times on our way to the restaurant. We were seated promptly and all the waitstaff all knew our names.

After we ordered, Karen excused herself to go to the ladies room, she was a little off when she came back.

She said, "There was this women in the ladies room, as we were touching up our makeup, she asked me how long I knew Jack. I told her this was our first date if you could call it that that and I only knew you for two weeks. I also told her it was my first date in decades. She said you were a really special person and I was really lucky. She also said to tell you that Jesse was happy for you. Was that the Jesse I think it was?"

"I think it was."

"Them I'm fucked, she is way out of my league."

"Karen, let me ask you this question: Have you ever cheated on your husband? Let's assume that answer is no, if so, you are way out of her league."

That first date led to a second and then a third. Of course, my admin asked for details. And she was disappointed to find out that Karen and I hadn't slept with each other yet.

On our third date, Karen seemed a little bit off. We had gone to a comedy show and to her place afterwards.

"Talk to me Karen, you've been off all night."

"This is going to be difficult Jack and I'm sorry. The rules of divorce state that if you accept a third a date, then sex is on the table. But I must tell you Jack, that I have been in a sexual relationship with Joyce since my divorce."

"I don't know what to tell you, she has been the person keeping me sane for so long. I'm sure I would have hit the rest button long ago without her."

A thousand thoughts had gone through my mind trying to figure out what was bothering Karen, did I say or do something to hurt her or was she not interested in me the way I was interested in her. That she was in a lesbian relationship was never a possibility. I found myself pacing her living room.

"Talk to me Jack."

"I am sorry Karen, I don't know where to begin. I don't have a problem with you being a lesbian, but why did you go out with me in the first place?"

"Neither Joyce nor I consider ourselves lesbians. We've known each other since high school and have been close ever since. We married about the same time and divorced around the same time. You know how lonely life is after a divorce. We took turns dragging each other out of depression. One night after too much wine, we crossed a line, more out of horniness than anything else. And that just became a part of our relationship."

I was still pacing, "What does that mean for us Karen, do you want to continue a relationship with me or with Joyce."

"Why do I have to choose Jack?" Karen was still sitting on the couch, leaning forward and studying my expression.

I sat down in an armchair across from her, "Before I leave, explain to me what that would look like, I have you on Fridays and she has you on Saturday, kind of like an open relationship."

"That's not what we were thinking."

"Fuck, you guys have already discussed this?"

"Maybe we had too much wine again, but why couldn't we be a throuple?"

"I don't know what that is."

"Think of a romantic relationship between three people, sharing everything, love, emotions and sex. You should take Joyce out on a date. Most men find her more attractive than me and I know she has feelings for you."

I found myself pacing again. One trait of most engineers have is immediately looking at solutions to a problem instead of deciding it wasn't a good idea to begin with. And that's where I found myself. I had met Joyce several times, she was always at Karen's house helping her get ready when I picked her up, and she was attractive.

"I need to go home and think about this Karen. I'm sorry, there's a lot to process."

"Jack, we're both engineers and we think alike. I hoped you wouldn't dismiss the idea and I hoped that you would want to think about it. But do this for me Jack, take Joyce out to dinner tomorrow. It doesn't have to be any place fancy but you should get to know her a bit before you decide."

I agreed, Joyce wanted me to meet her at the restaurant and would send me the details. Saturday morning, she asked if I could meet her at Olive Garden and seven. I wanted to search social media about her but I simply said okay.

As we waited for our table, Joyce thanked me for meeting her, Karen and her were taking it as a hopeful sign. She was attractive, maybe more than Karen but I don't think there was a significant difference.

After we ordered, Joyce told me to fire away with any questions I have.

"Joyce, you are attractive, why share a man instead of finding your own?"

"Both Karen and I were devasted when we found out our husbands had been cheating on us. And like you, the cheating had gone on for at least months. My ex had multiple lovers on the side. Karen was the only thing that kept me from jumping off a bridge. And then we meet this guy who cried because his wife cheated on him, a good looking guy with a nice package. You know we checked you out right?"

"I was incapacitated and have no memory after entering the bar."

"There were four of us there, the other two girls are married. You were sitting at the bar, we were laughing amongst ourselves who was going to invite you to our table. Karen was our designated driver and she volunteered. You spent the rest of the evening with us and by your second drink with us you were slurring your words. I don't know how many you had before then."

"Is that how I ended up at Karen's because she was the designated driver?"

"Yes, the other girls called Ubers and I went with Karen to help her with you."

Our food came and I asked, "How do you guys see this working, we all sleep together in one big bed and all our sex is threesomes?"

"To tell you the truth Jack, we haven't figured that out. First we wanted to see if you were interested. It would be less awkward I think if you slept with each of us individually, probably Karen first since you know her better, maybe a couple of more dates with me and then it would be my turn."

"And while this is going on, you and Karen would continue your sexual relationship?"

"My relationship with Karen is so much more than a sexual one. I love her and would love her even if we weren't having sex. But I wouldn't want to stop the tenderness I feel when I'm with her that way. You still look confused Jack."

"Joyce, there's a part of me that thinks I started having feelings for a woman after swearing I never would again. I was done, and then I find out that this woman I have feelings for was already cheating on me with another woman."

"Jack, you weren't exclusive, you were only on your third date and before your relationship went any further, she told you all about our relationship. All three of us have experienced the pain of infidelity and we would not want to inflict that on anyone."

"What if I said no to the throuple and only wanted to be involved with Karen?"

"Then one of us would be hurt Jack, I have no idea who."

After a few minutes Joyce took my hand, "Will you see me again Jack, we spent the evening talking about the throuple and not about each other. Maybe Wednesday?"

I couldn't say no.

Karen started a group text on Sunday and the three of us spent most of the day texting each other. They were way faster than me and I had to ask them to slow down. Around noon, Karen suggested that since it was a beautiful day, the three of us should take a walk in the park instead of sitting inside looking at our phones. I agreed.

Karen and Joyce arrived in Karen's car and each of them took one of my arms, they didn't want me to feel left out. It was a beautiful day, Karen talked about Joyce, who talked about Karen and I talked about me, all the background stuff, where we grew up, siblings and our children. I must admit it felt good with an attractive woman on each arm.

Joyce didn't work, she sued the balls off her husband and wasn't working when he started cheating. She spent most of her time doing volunteer work. Karen talked a bit about her software engineering job and I talked about building things. We did a lap around the lake and stopped for hot dogs, after another lap we stopped for ice cream. Most of the time was spent joking, and then Karen got a serious look on her face.