My Adonis 3

Not too much sex

In the video, I'm dancing with the most attractive man I ever met. He looks like a Greek Adonis, maybe a little darker. One of his hands is cupping my ass, the other is on my hip drifting north. I remember feeling his package pressing against my belly. He pulls me in for a kiss.

As the kiss broke, I remember my husband Jack calling my name, "Jesse it's time to go."

I had forgotten he was going to pick me up at 11:00 like every time I attended a girls night out.

In the video, tall, dark and handsome is whispering in my ear. The video doesn't pick up what he says but I remember him offering me a ride home.

And then I turn to my husband as I shake my head no and kiss my Adonis again.

The video ends there. I've seen it a thousand times. People I've never met before keep sending it to me, asking if I really fucked over my husband like that and asking for his number.

The uber dropped me off at my house almost 24 hours after I had left for my GNO. Every light was on, I wondered if Jack was home and what would I say to him. Sorry seemed so inadequate and I wasn't sorry. I just had the best sex in my life, every one of my holes was sore, there was still cum leaking out of my ass and pussy. My ass cheeks and tits were bruised. All I wanted was a long hot shower and to go to bed.

The house stank so I opened a couple of windows. There were things missing that I couldn't picture. The house was also quiet, no Jack. At least that would give me a chance to clean off my lover's cum and assess the damage to my body. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror I realized that there was no way I could hide or minimize the damage. My tits were covered in love bites and other bruises, my ass was bright red with my lover's handprints, and my pussy looked like I had taken on an army. I'm sure my ass looked just as bad.

The shower water never got hot; the water was ice cold. I didn't really understand those things and gave up on a shower. My mind was racing, flashbacks from the night before and the massive orgasms I experienced and then remorse from what I did to Jack. I needed to sleep; I needed to calm my mind. After putting on sweats and clean underwear I noticed all of Jack's clothing was missing and the bedroom reeked. After opening the windows, I took two sleeping pills and pulled back the covers. Then the smell really hit me. There was a pile of shit in the bed. Common sense which had eluded me the night before told me that Jack had shit on our bed the same way I shit on our marriage.

The open windows were cooling off the house, so I went to the linen closet for extra blankets, the closet was empty. I went to lay on the living room sofa, and it was wet. Jack had pissed all over it. Common sense stated the obvious. I managed to fall asleep in the armchair and woke up feeling worse than when I fell asleep. At least last night I was still on that sexual high, now, all I had was remorse. Coffee, it was time for coffee.

The kitchen floor was wet when I stepped in. The refrigerator doors were wide open, and the lights were off. I assumed the ice in the ice maker had melted and leaked out. Looking behind the refrigerator I could see it had been unplugged. I couldn't reach the plug, nor was I strong enough to pull it out far enough. Jack could.

Back in the armchair, I turned my phone back on, I couldn't remember turning it off. It was blowing up with emails and text message. There was one from Jack on Friday night, that was the first time I saw the video. He had sent it to everybody, including my entire family, every one of our friends and at least a dozen names I didn't recognize.

But I needed help, calls to my parents went straight to voice mail, so did my calls to my brothers.

My mother sent me a text, "Please leave us alone, what you did to Jack was horrible and I can't believe my daughter could do such a thing. I guess that means you're not."

I texted her back, "Mom, I need help. Jack did a lot of damage inside the house; I can't live here. There's no hot water; the refrigerator is unplugged, and he shit on the bed. Maybe the brothers can help me?"

As I waited for her response, I scanned the living room and figured out why it looked different. Our wedding portrait was missing. And then I realized all the pictures were missing. The bedroom was the same way. But it wasn't just pictures, all the souvenirs from our vacations were missing.

Whether my mother responded or not, I still need to mop the kitchen floor and once that was done, I could make a cup of coffee. It felt good to get moving. I was putting the mop away when I heard back from my mother.

"Your brothers have reluctantly agreed to help you but only if they don't have to see or talk to you. Of course, you understand how close they were to Jack. Send me a list and I'll forward it to them. They have you blocked so you won't be able to contact them directly. They'll be there at noon."

Getting the mattress out of the house was number one, hot water was number two and the refrigerator was number three. I'm sure there were other things, but I didn't want to push my luck. Then I headed to a fast food joint for some breakfast and coffee from the drive through and headed to a small park.

I called my best friend Lisa:

"Jesse don't ever call me again. My fiancé saw the video and broke our engagement. He doesn't want to be married to someone who could let you fuck over your husband like that. I'm praying I can fix this with him, and I promised him you and I are done. You'll get the same response from all the other women in our clique. I hope the dude was worth it."

There was a text from Jack, it was a picture of the inside of large dumpster. I could easily recognize the wedding portraits and the wedding album. Actually, the dumpster was full of stuff I recognized including my jewelry box. Even our Christmas decorations were in there. Three years of marriage and three years of dating were sitting in a dumpster. That's when I began to cry.

My mother sent me a text, "The brothers are done and so am I."

The mattress was sitting on the curb when I got home, most of the shit was missing, there was hot water, and the refrigerator was working. I finally got the shower I had been dying for. It hurt but felt good at the same time. I stood in the shower and how truly I fucked up my life began to sink in. No husband, no family, no friends and every part of my body still hurt.

The smell of human shit was beginning to fade from the bedroom when I went to get dressed. I opened the closet, and all of my fancy dresses were missing. Jack always liked to take me clothes shopping when we had a big event coming up, so he probably paid for them. I opened my lingerie drawer, and it was empty. Jack probably paid for most of that too. Looking at the dumpster picture again, I began to see a lot of my clothes.

In the kitchen was a plastic baggy on the table with a note from my oldest brother:

"We found this under the pile of shit, I think its Jack's wedding ring." It was.

The rest of Sunday was spent shopping, of course all my credit cards were declined so I had to use my debit card. I checked the account balance on my phone and saw that half the balance had been removed on Friday night.

I took Monday off so I could receive the new mattress.

I also asked the brothers to come back to remove the couch. I could not get rid of the urine smell.

Worked sucked on Tuesday, everyone had seen the video and were talking behind my back. Of course, a half dozen women asked for Jack's phone number. My boss called me into his office at lunch time and told me that I was a serious detriment to office productivity, and he wanted me to work from home for at least the next two weeks. I happily agreed.

Working from home was unbelievably depressing, the empty spaces on the that had been filled with the joyous times of our lives. My computer was set up in the second bedroom which had been destined to be a nursery in the near future.

The cure for depression is not a bottle of wine but I tried anyway, nor is it junk food but cooking for one just added to my depression.

On Friday, a week from my fuck up, I was served with divorce papers. I also received an electronic copy. Most of it I didn't understand. Jack and I never really talked money except when we bought this condo. Those conversations usually revolved around whether to wait until we had enough money to buy a house before we started having babies. I may not have understood the legal mumbo jumbo, but Jack's salary was three to four times mine and that didn't include what he was making from investments. We lived rather frugally, there were no BMW's in the driveway, but if you looked at what Jack had stashed away for our first real home you would be amazed.

As I said, I didn't understand the legal shit, but my father was a lawyer, not a divorce lawyer but he would be the one I would turn to with any legal question. I sent my mother a copy of the divorce papers and asked if dad would help me. It was 24 hours later when I received his response:

"I'll help you, but we'll do this my way. If you try and take one dime from Jack, I'll kill you myself. You already ripped the man's heart out, do you want to bleed him dry too?"

"Dad, I don't think I can afford this place on my own."

"The condo is paid off and Jack is signing it over to you, but you'll be responsible for property taxes, HOA fees and the utilities."

"Ok," was my simple response. I really didn't want to take anything from Jack but I'm not stupid, I needed a way to live and with no family or friends, I was going to have to make the condo work. Maybe I was stupid, or I wouldn't be in this position in the first place.

The lawyer my father hired was against the settlement my father proposed and argued that Jack's financial position was much better than mine. No shit. My father threatened to fire the lawyer, and the guy finally caved to my father's demands. The updated settlement was sent to Jack who signed off on it.

Six months after my night with tall, dark and handsome, I was divorced. Jack sent me $1,000 every month even though he wasn't required to. I was still without any family or friends. Since I was working from home, I had no social life. Finally, my mother caved and spoke to me once a week. There wasn't a lot for us to talk about. She kept me up to date on my brothers and their families. There was absolutely nothing going on in my life to tell her.

Jack on the other hand was in the news frequently. He was elected the youngest partner in the financial firm he worked for and voted one of the top financial advisors in the state. I followed him on social media and whatever news I could get. You couldn't say I was stalking him since I never left the house. Jack always looked quite dashing stepping out of a limo with a gorgeous blond on his arm. That picture I received from one of my admirers, telling me that could have been me on his arm. Not the way I looked now.

My mother became increasingly worried about my depression and weight gain. She said I looked like a balloon that was ready to burst. She 'forced' me to see a shrink who actually helped along with some meds. We were working on me forgiving myself. I was losing the weight I gained but still carrying and extra 20 pounds.

My mother was knocking on my door. I invited her in and offered her a cup of coffee. As we sat down I saw a tear in her eye.

"Who were you talking to Jesse, were you on the phone?"

I knew who I was talking to, but I didn't want to have that conversation with my mother. I also knew she wouldn't let it go.

"Jack," I said.

"He's not here Jesse and you weren't on your phone. Are you having imaginary conversations with Jack?"

The tears started to flow, I said, "That one insane thing has been keeping the rest of me sane. My imaginary conversations with Jack were the only conversations I have except for my weekly call with you."

My mother's tears joined mine, "I'm sorry Jesse, I don't know how to help you."

"It's not on you mom; I created this mess. The only thing I want, I threw away and will never have again."

"We need to get you out of this house. Your father and I are hosting our annual charity ball next weekend, why don't you plan on attending. At least it will get you out of the house. But Jesse, Jack will be there. He has been very generous with these charities, our largest contributor, if you fuck this up many of those charities will fold. Stay away from him. He has a reputation of shredding any reporter or host who brings up your name. Promise me you'll stay away from him."

I nodded yes; but my mind was so confused.

As the ball got closer, the frequency of my imaginary conversations with Jack dominated my life, not that they haven't dominated my life over the last 19 months. If he approached me and asked me something, I wanted to have an answer ready for him. Deep down I knew that wasn't going to happen.

Since my father still wasn't talking to me, I drove my own car there. As luck would have it, I was walking across the parking lot when a big Mercedes pulled up to the valet. Jack stepped out and we made eye contact for the first time in 19 months. I knew my face lit up, I could feel the strain as my face tried to smile. Jack shook his head at me. The same shake I gave him 19 months ago that I saw on the video a thousand times. I turned around and headed home but not before seeing a beautiful brunette take his arm.

I texted my mother that I saw Jack and I couldn't go in. Imaginary Jack and I had a wonderful conversation on the way home, he was telling me about how well his business life was doing. I didn't care when he told me about the women he was dating. Everything he said I knew from social media. I was still talking to him when I fell asleep that night.

My mother was at my door early the next morning.

"What happened Jesse?"

"I was walking across the parking lot when Jack pulled into the valet, just bad luck. We made eye contact, and I smiled at him. He shook his head no, just like I shook my head that night. I couldn't go in. Jack apologized on my way home."

"Real Jack Jesse or your imaginary Jack?"

I smiled, "Did I fuck anything up with your charities?"

"No, at least not last night. I'm sure all of his donations were well planned beforehand."

My mother started demanding that I go out to lunch with her usually two or three times a week and at least one dinner. The first time my father joined us; I had arrived early and was having one of my conversations with Jack who was recommending specific items on the menu. I hadn't realized my parents were standing behind me. My father took me into his arms and held me tight, we stood there for an eternity crying. We were such a mess we had to grab takeout instead and take it to the park. I made the mistake of telling them that Jack said the sushi was really good here.

It was the first conversation I had with my father in almost two years. He was telling me about his corporate law work and different companies he was working with. Twice I fucked up and passed on some information that my imaginary Jack told me. It was valid information that I read online. They didn't challenge me on it, but I saw the look of concern cross their faces.

It was two years after the girls night out that my mother canceled our luncheon at the last minute. I was already in town so I decided to go to lunch by myself, but I had to be careful because imaginary Jack would join me. I didn't want to freak people out.

As I entered the restaurant, I saw my best friend Lisa sitting by herself, so I sat down across from her. She almost shit herself. She was looking around the restaurant in panic.

"Jesus Jesse, what are you doing here? If my husband sees me talking to you I'm fucked. You can't stay here. He's on his way."

"I'm sorry Lisa, I didn't mean to cause you any stress, I just wanted to see how you are doing. I'm happy you were able to put the troubles behind you. How long have you been married."

"A year now Jesse, I literally had to get on my hands and knees and beg him to take me back. I was the lucky one. The two women in our clique who were married ended up divorced and none of the other relationships survived."

"But you guys did nothing, it was my colossal fuck up."

"And that was my husband's point. We did nothing. Their thinking that the point of us going out together is that the group would keep an individual from the making the colossal fuck up, since we did nothing we must have been okay with it. He asked me why I didn't stop you and I had nothing to say. Please leave Jesse, you don't understand the pain you caused me, please leave before he gets here."

Jack told me it was time to go, so I left. I grabbed a hot dog and a soda from a street vendor and sat down in a little park. Imaginary Jack was trying to console me as I held back the tears. He was telling me that there was no way I could have foreseen this collateral damage, and why didn't Lisa and the other women step up and stop me.

On the inside, I said they didn't stop me because they were drooling over the same guy. I didn't want to say that out loud because Jack might stop talking to me again. He did that once when I criticized one of the women he was dating.

I saw real Jack at two other charity events. Both times we made eye contact, and I immediately diverted my eyes. One time I saw him start shaking his head, the second time I think I looked at the floor fast enough that I couldn't tell. On the second time I was in the ladies room when Jack's date stepped in.

"Hello Jesse, how are you doing?" I felt like a cornered animal. "I'm Susan Davis, a friend of Jack."

"I know who you are, I recognize you from TV." I said overly defensive.

"Relax Jesse, I'm not going to bite and neither will Jack. Please come join us at our table."

Susan took my arm and led me out of the restroom and to her table. Jack wasn't there.

"I know how your relationship with Jack ended, probably a lot of people know. Your mother shared with me on how it affected you. Jack has been extremely successful business wise but emotionally, he is suffering as much as you are. Jack has asked me to marry him, but I turned him down. I won't marry him until you two put this behind you. I have no idea what that would look like. I do love him, what's not to love. He tells me he loves me, but I know that he doesn't love me with all his heart. I can feel it every time he tells me he loves me."

Jack was coming to our table; he had a look of horror on his face when he sat down.

"Good evening Jesse. It's been a long time."

"Hello Jack, not for me," I said. Jack got a puzzled look on his face.

"Right, I'll leave you guys to it," said Susan as she got up and joined my parents.

"What do you mean by that Jesse?"

"I thought my parents would have told you that I spend my days talking to imaginary Jack. My psychiatrist isn't as concerned. So many times, imaginary Jack and I played out this scenario and I know it won't change a thing, but I do need to tell you I am sorry for the hurt that I caused."

"And then what does imaginary Jack say."

"Sometimes he accepts my apology, and we move on to other topics. Other times he vents his anger and curses me for fucking up our lives and the lives of so many others. Did you know that all of my girlfriends that night lost their relationships because of me, because they didn't stop me, and their boyfriends or husbands decided they could no longer trust them. Except Lisa, her fiancé broke off their engagement, they married last year after she begged him. Of course, none of those people are speaking to me, neither are my brothers."

"Vent your anger Jack, I deserve it. You're going to lose a beautiful woman because of my stupidity. If you're not comfortable doing it here, name a time and place and I'll be there. If you want to hit me or beat me up, go ahead, I promise I won't press charges. Kill me if you want, you'll be doing me a favor. I'm not brave enough to kill myself."