I was sitting in my apartment with a beer watching Monday night football when my phone rang. Thinking 'Damn phone call. It's 4th down and inches to go...' I was more than slightly pissed until I saw the caller ID on the cell display. "Hello and why are you busting up the game for me Billy?"
We both laughed. Billy was also watching the Falcons Redskins game and knew exactly when to call to pull my chain. I met Billy in basic and we were Marines together in Iraq. We both enlisted after we left our high schools. I was from the suburbs of Atlanta and Billy was from far outside of DC.
We did one and a half tours of combat when a roadside bomb put an end to our military careers. We were the lucky ones. Close quarter combat and our near death in an ambush changed who we were.
Going to war and seeing death and destruction clear and upfront changes who and what you are. We started out being 'fucking around' good-time kids and ended up as mature serious adults with goals, dreams and a work ethic to make it in this world. My girlfriend Jeannie and I are in Georgia on the far outskirts of Atlanta. Billy and his wife Amanda are on the Virginia coast within 60 miles of DC.
Some guys got out of the service and went wild, unleashing what was going on inside of them. Other vets turned inward. There is no right or wrong on this. It is what it is. Billy and I used the VA and groups to help make sense of our lives. Over time, both of us adjusted and we're doing OK. We both knew we were lucky. We also made sure that we kept giving back to other vets and their families. Not all Vets were broken, but our experience made us all family of a sort.
You may not always like your family, but you'll always be there for them.
We shot the shit for a couple of minutes when Billy lowered his voice. "Dan?" Billy got a quiet "Uh huh" from me. It sounded serious. "I got a cousin that's been having some real bad problems in his family. The wife got up and left him then raided the financial accounts. She dumped their twin girls and her kid that she had when she was 17 on her parents. Then she took off with her lover-boy. She's seen each kid once in the past year since the official divorce and only once in the year before it was finalized. She don't call 'em, send a card or nothin'. She ran off with a guy that has 2 kids from two different women.
"They're living in your area. My cousin's Gary's marriage probably wasn't the greatest. His up bringin' was pretty fucked up. There was sexual abuse and neglect in his life. He's in his late 20's now."
"Ok Billy, what do you need out of me?"
"Gary's been professionally working it through. Best way I could put it that we'd both know is PTSD."
"Sorry about your cousin Billy but what do you need from me? Help to get her back? Make her 'fuckin' around' life hell?" I smiled. I have no problem in making people pay for being assholes.
"No fucking way does he want her back. She even got knocked up before the divorce was final. Is it bad to say thanks that she had a miscarriage? I'm sure I'm goin' to hell for that one. Gary got full custody their 5 year old twin daughters and the other father Lyle has full custody of his 9 year old daughter. It ended up being a shock to Coleen when she went to pick the three kids up from her parents and instead had to show up in front of a judge. Gary told me it was fuckin' comical to see her plans of running away with the kids and their child support turned into a big problem. Judge asked her where in the great state of Virginia she had residence and gave her 6 months to prove residency.
"The mother wouldn't relocate back to Virginia. The wonderful state of Virginia has ordered her to pay child support to all of them. That's when we knew that there is a god." We both laughed. The old line that there are no atheists in foxholes has some truth.
"All the kids are doing ok... well... as well as can be expected anyway. The Dads are devoted and my cousin is doing much better. HE kind of knew she was fucking around so having it over was more than a relief. He's getting on being a single dad and loves his kids. Lot's of support all around for him. He'll make it.
"But the problem is not with the Father or the daughters." He paused for a couple of seconds, and then continued. "I saw Jeannie's picture on the ex-wife's Facebook page. The bitch hasn't figured out that we're all keeping tabs on her and we're not gonna tell her either. I thought that you'd like to know who Jeannie is hanging out with." In the silence that followed, I realized who she was.
The conversation was restarted when I quietly said, "Oh shit. Is the name of the ex Colleen?"
"Yep, she works on your wife's unit at the hospital. The posting that pissed me off came from her celebration a couple of months ago from the divorce. I just saw it this week. What do you know about her?"
"She's told everybody that the husband was abusive and she had to get away. She's said that her parents are takin' care of her kids until she gets settled. We've had her over at the house for dinner a time or two with her boyfriend Darnell. Says she calls the kids daily."
"Billy, I can vouch for my cousin Gary. He may be big and not so bright at times, but there is not a mean bone in his body. Gary takes after our grandfather. Family and kids are always first.
"You gotta understand. My grandfather's father abandoned his family in the depression. The guy was a drunk and did something bad. Nobody will tell us what it was. Believe me, even with internet searches, it doesn't still come up. It also happened in the late '20's early 30's. That's nearly 90 years ago. That asshole just disappeared after that. Grandpa never saw his father until an older sister showed him the grave years later when granddad was in his 20's. The last time he saw his father was when he was 3 years old. What the fuck do you remember at 3?
"From my father's side, all my Aunts and uncles and my cousins were brought up with the importance of family." Billy exhaled. We both were quiet for a minute.
"You remember the line out of Reagan in the 80's? Trust, but verify? We've been friends a long time, but I want to make sure that you read the court findings. Don't trust me blindly. This has pissed me off so badly that I ...I..."
"Hey Billy. Be cool. You know that we're on the same page and I'll get Jeannie on the same page too. You remember when she let me know that I shouldn't be hanging around Perkins? It was only 6 months later that he got busted for running meth to Nashville. No buddy, we will be on the same page on this woman."
"I've scanned a bunch of stuff including the trial transcripts. She's paying child support for both kids to be with her loser. I've seen both of the twins and the older one. The older one hates her guts and the youngest ones just can't understand." Billy paused and came back with an exasperated "Fuck it, I can't understand.
"One of the things in life that we both know is that kids are important, that we need to be honest, that.." he paused, "I've been worried about what she's been telling people."
We were both quiet. The football game was long over and no one cared.
"Billy?"
