Note: This story is somewhere between an erotic coupling and a romance. I hope you enjoy it.
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"Patrick, hi!," she effused in a very familiar manner. She was 30, maybe 35, and grabbed the seat next to me on the Metro subway pulling out of Union Station.
I had no idea who was greeting me this warmly. She was attractive in an athletic way, as far as I could tell in a startled first impression. Not beautiful, really, but sexy.
"Oh, hi.," I stammered before admitting the obvious—"I'm really sorry, I don't remember meeting you at the conference. It's a serious personality defect—insufficient name-face recognition skills. Or, simply, dorkiness."
"You teach at Berkeley, don't you, Patrick?," she asked with an infectious smile.
"Yes." I was really reaching into the mental rolodex now. Had I messed up and she wasn't from the conference, but from home. Who was this? Now I was imagining some really nice legs happening under those jeans.
"Do we know each other from campus?," I ventured. I was ready for humiliation, as in "I am the wife of your colleague," or "we went to graduate school together and had that wonderful night of love-making and you are the most insensitive lout for not remembering."
"No, Patrick, silly. But how are things on campus now?," she continued as if my non-recognition never occurred.
"I'm sorry," I said a second time. "I mean, before we keep going I need to say that I can't really place our acquaintance. How do we know each other?," I formally inquired.
"We don't."
"Uh, but you know who I am, what's up with that...and the familiar manner. Who are you?," I finally got out.
"Juliette Shanine," she said and gave me this mischievous and sensual smile that was the perfect complement to her lithe frame. "And I love to play this game with absent-minded folks who leave their name tags on after they leave a conference. In your case, literally an absent-minded professor sort—especially with that big 'Faculty' ribbon hanging on it. I have had half-hour conversations with people who return my pretension of acquaintance. One woman starting telling me about her kids, assuming that I knew them. I had a guy who ended our conservation with a 'come over to our house again soon' invitation. You, obviously, have not been an especially willing subject."
By the time she finished, the name tag was in my coat pocket. I really liked Juliette's smile. Her engaging and quirky style. And especially I loved that she left her top three shirt buttons free, allowing me to imagine the remainder of what I could mostly visualize of her B cup breasts. Bad habit of mine, that. "Do you have any other games I should be aware of, Juliette?," as I let go a slight grin that I hoped showed conspiracy in encounter, not annoyance.
"Totally. In January, I took off all my clothes in a mall dressing room, stuffed them in my bag and walked around H&M naked to see who would stop me. No one said anything for about 10 minutes, then a young guy asked me if I was OK and did I want his sweatshirt—it was adorable. Lots of times I beg change in front of Kramer's bookstore and then, in view of the donor, I give it to some other stranger."
By now the Metro had moved toward my Dupont Circle stop and I only had about 30 seconds with this woman. Was it enough to extend the connection?—I quickly ran through my options: staying on the train past my stop, asking her to join me for lunch, trying to get a number. I said: "Do you ever go to dinner with out of town strangers who are lucky enough to star in these artistic events?" And quickly followed up with, "and if so, here is my cell and name. I'll be here through Thursday evening." I scribbled the essential data on a scrap of paper and handed it to her as I got up to leave.
She said softly to me, "I do for men who realize it is an art performance and look OK in a pair of jeans." As I was neared the subway door Juliette said in a loud voice, "Don't let them get you down, Peter, lots of guys with a tiny penis have the operation."
I figure at least 50 people kept looked at me from the inside of the car as the train slowly...really, really slowly...moved north under Cleveland Avenue.
---Juliette---
I had another day and a half left at the conference. I checked for cell messages constantly that day and a little less the next. No call from Juliette. I had no right to be disappointed. I was disappointed.
June turned into September and the Berkeley campus came alive again with the promise of a new semester. Most of my colleagues burn-out on teaching pretty quickly, but fifteen years later I love more than ever the new year. Students are my drug. Teaching them is their gift to me.
"Patrick Wellborne," I twilled into the cell without checking the source of the call, per usual.