This story was edited by "Crazysoundguy".
In 1981 Dan Fogelberg wrote and later recorded a song included on the album, "Innocent Age" called, "Same Old Lang Syne". I recall hearing it possibly for the first time while driving home one evening from a business meeting; I also remember damn near driving off the road and wrecking my car. Still about a hundred miles from home, I pulled off in Gainesville Florida, a college town, begged for a phone book at a gas station and found a record store that was still open. I bought the cassette tape and played that song over and over during the two hours remaining on the Interstate.
I cried; I felt regret, anger and even a bit of hopelessness. I was driving home to a dead marriage or at least one that would legally expire within the year. Ten years earlier I had married the wrong woman...the one who was in front of me not the one I would have had to work for...search for...earn. I had two young children; the divorce would be messy and painful and the pain and estrangement from at least one of those two children would return to haunt me many years later. My life was a mess...I was falling apart. I hated myself for having been young, lazy and stupid and letting my first true love slip away. It was too late.
I had tracked her down a year earlier; she was married to an architect and also had two young children. I sent her an innocuous note with pictures of my kids and comments about those "good old days" back in college. Three days after I posted the letter she called me and the first words out of her mouth were, "You didn't wait for me."
"I know...I'm sorry." It was all I could say.
We chatted about life and where we lived and kids and then brushed up against our current spouses. She had married a good man and a good father; he was successful. She had waited a little longer than I had to walk down the aisle. I got the strong sense that she loved and respected him but wasn't in love with him. I was a little more evasive; I did not want to burden her with my marital issues.
A few days later she mailed me pictures of her two girls with a similarly innocuous note. Over the next few years we exchanged Christmas cards---even birthday cards since our birthdays were only a day apart. We talked on the phone a few times and exchanged emails. We even talked aimlessly about meeting some time but we both knew that was not going to happen. It just became too uncomfortable for both of us to keep holding on to something that could never be so after a short while we stopped communicating.
We never reconnected; she's still married to the same man. I remarried and couldn't be happier. First loves---those that generally occur sometime after high school---indelibly imprint your heart. That first time as an adult that another human being takes your breath away, addles your brain and turns you into mush...well, you just don't ever forget that and no matter what happens during the rest of your life you find yourself thinking about what might have been.
There was a time a few years after my divorce that I was driving on business, far from home and saw the sign for the exit that led to her city. I was planning to stop for the night soon anyway...it had been a long day and even though it was not yet dark I was bushed. It wouldn't really have been that far out of my way...but I didn't.
But I like to write fiction so from here on out, let's just assume that I took that exit, having no plan---no idea what I was going to do. Would I drive by her house? Knock on her door? Would I call her and tell her that I was, "in town"? With a little help from Dan Fogelberg's amazing lyrics and my own imagination let's see where this story goes.
******************************
This was just plain stupid. What had he been thinking? She's married with children. The two of you haven't talked in years; it ended, if it ever began, fifteen years ago. He hadn't really had much trouble finding her house...he'd looked it up on the Internet...imagined driving there. It wasn't that big a town; it was a pleasant, upscale suburb comfortably removed from a major city. He drove by the house three times certain that some neighbor had already called the police to report a suspicious car prowling the street. It was a pretty house, older and with far less yard than he would have liked but typical of the area. As he was a few houses away on his third pass and prepared to go find a decent motel for the night and forget this lunacy or simply get back on the Interstate, the front door opened and there she was.
He recognized her immediately; they had exchanged pictures before severing ties but it wouldn't have mattered...he would have recognized her. Her hair was a bit lighter...she had been a pure brunette when they had been together. She still couldn't be more than a size four; she walked to the driveway and opened the driver's door of an upscale Volvo. Where were her children? Where was her husband...where was she going? Without thinking he followed her...Christ, he was stalking her!
...my old love...grocery store...
It was early spring in the Northeast but he quickly discovered that she was in fact going to a grocery store, a small neighborhood market. He watched her walk into the store; he got out of his car and followed her. He could hear his heart beating...he had no script for what was going to occur.
...in the frozen foods...
It turned out to be the fresh produce section; he was standing inches away from her trying to appear interested in artichokes.
"Bethany?"
...her eyes flew open...
He had aged well, as she had. If anything she was more beautiful than he remembered. Her look went from instant recognition to disbelief and then back to recognition.
"Jeffrey?"
And then she hugged him...and he hugged her back and they just stood that way for what seemed like a very long time. He felt her soft tears on his neck...she could not miss his on her shoulder...and then they laughed...and then they cried some more.
What in the world...?" She implored.
He told the truth. He had been driving from one city to another on business. He had seen the turn off for where she lived. He had driven by her house with no plan...no idea what he was doing...and then he had seen her and followed her to the store. She nodded; they walked together as she gathered up assorted food items.
took her groceries to the...
They walked together back to the parking lot. "Bethany...I'm sorry. I certainly don't want to embarrass you or create an uncomfortable situation. This was probably the silliest, most insane thing I've ever done. I don't know what I was thinking...I really need to just get back on the road and..."
"How's your wife? How are those gorgeous children of yours? I knew you had great genes!" Beth said, reminding him of the banter they had once shared.
"Ah, my wife is fine, although she's my former wife since a couple of years ago. The kids are with her...they moved...I see them on alternate weekends. And how's everything with your family?"
Her face darkened...her eyes grew misty. "Gone in an instant Jeff...almost exactly two years ago...a drunk driver crossed the center divider...head on...my whole family...gone. They were coming home from school..."
"Oh my God...I'm so sorry...I had no idea!"
"It's not something you ever get over Jeff but I'm better. I needed a little professional help getting through it but I'm okay now. I finally have stopped wearing black."
He wanted to hug her hold her...comfort her...but who exactly was he to her...or her to him?
He did anyway. "I'm so sorry baby." He said, using a term of endearment that was probably inappropriate.
Her countenance brightened. "Come home for dinner! You look exhausted. I've got a guest room...more room than I need...you're welcome to stay... no, I insist! You're obviously too exhausted to drive any more and I wouldn't think of having you stay in a motel."
