Prof. R Copyright 2004, All rights reserved.
(formerly of the University of ____________)
[This fictional story follows the series "California Zephyr" and before the series "Summit Conference," but it also may be enjoyed independently.]
[When we were cuddling together in our room in the Oxford Hotel, Sophia liked me to tell her stories about long-ago loves. I suspect that the long-ago part appealed to her, but I also know that we both enjoyed the results when I came to the end. At her encouragement, I have been trying to write up some of the stories, and this is the first result.]
Meg and I were at our place on the Oregon coast, as I remember it. That is interesting in itself, because it seems so real to think of it today. It was sunny out just before noon, and as always, the wind was blowing. I was sitting on the deck working on a writing project, and Meg was inside, probably working on band drills.
Meg was a band instructor at a high school on the East Coast. She was a good teacher, pouring much of her spare time into the work. Nevertheless, there were the typical pressures on her: band parents-- some less than supportive, administrative matters, budget constraints, attention to each of the kids, and so forth.
The last item was the part that she loved the most, and she poured her heart into helping them, coaching them, inspiring them. Sometimes she shortchanged herself in the process, but it did not matter to her. The kids in turn worked hard for her, and grew in various ways to achieve things that they had not known that they could reach.
Perhaps I am sounding too corny about her work, but did not George Sand write that "love without veneration and enthusiasm is only friendship?"
Those of my readers who have followed the "Zephyr" files in this library know that my own teaching career was at the college level, until it was brought to a close. While I was able to inspire individual students, I never saw that on a classwide level. Also, I often found myself distracted by the way that serious discussions with my female students melted into spirited sexual flings.
I was struggling with that when I met Meg at a friend's place when I was back at a professional conference. I had stopped by a barbecue that was already underway, and Meg arrived even later. Our hostess had expected her to be late, because she was coming from another band event that she was judging.
We had paired up that evening out of mutual necessity. Somehow, everyone else had already organized into couples, groups, cliques, or whatever by the time that we got there. We both kept trying to avoid the obvious, and perhaps Meg was a bit uneasy about my easiness with her. The relaxed manner of my approach, while being one of my best points with the coeds, was a red flag to her.
Constantly colliding at the avocado dip, we surrendered to the inevitable and struck up a conversation. I learned something of her background, and more importantly, learned that her professional demeanor did not hide a warm sense of humor and a love of adventure.
An idea began to form in my mind, and when she agreed to see me again before my return to the Midwest, I felt a surge of excitement that I had not felt for a long time. It wasn't the familiar sexual feeling, or the mixed message, it was that perhaps Meg would be the one who would finally be so important to be with that I truly would forsake all others. Perhaps even more important to the male ego is that she might feel the same way about me.
Our brief times together before I left led on into an exchange of letters, cards and telephone calls. Her field was so competitive compared to mine. It was all very interesting to me. I learned that she would be taking time off during the summer to develop new band formations, new drills, that she usually tried "to get away from it all" while doing so.
As it happened, I had already booked a place on the Oregon Coast for some writing that I had to do. I found myself inviting Meg to join me there, and waited nervously like a guy for his first date to see if she would accept. I even wrote that she was not under any obligation, and that between the couch and the bed, we could both sleep there without anything untoward happening.
[When I was telling this story to Sophia, she laughed. Sure you are smiling, too, but it is true.]
Just before I left on the trip to the Coast, something happened that convinced me that I must be ready for a change in my lifestyle, and for a more mature relationship. Cindy K. had come into my office for the review of her spring term paper that I had almost forgotten that I promised her. It was a hot day in that Midwestern college town, and as the school's trustees did not believe in wasting money, my office was barely air-conditioned.
I was wearing an open, short-sleeve shirt and shorts . . . and was still too warm. Cindy was dressed with less, and I could see that she had been sunbathing. Her sun-darkened skin showed through her gauzy blouse, highlighting the curves and engineered shape of her bra. The tan on her legs ran from her sandals to somewhere above the hem of her short skirt. I noticed this, yes, but I concentrated on her paper. It was a good one, it showed that she had been paying attention, and when she was out on a limb, she had footnoted facts to prove her point. As I spoke about it, I found myself looking deeply into her eyes. I was excited about it, and I suppose my passion showed.
The attention and the enthusiasm were exciting to Cindy. She leaned forward to me, listening raptly. Her own excitement bubbled out in her answers to my questions, my comments. Perhaps she had heard something from another young woman about my mixing pleasure with business. She was too intelligent to be seeking sex for the sake of sex, but on the other hand, she might have expected a certain approach on my part. She leaned back in her chair now. Somehow, I realized that the ground was shifting under us. In response to some subconscious command, she was touching her glowing cheeks, brushing some imaginary lint from her blouse, smoothing what there was of her skirt, all as our conversation continued. Crossing and uncrossing her legs, smoothing her skirt once more, her eyes locked with mine.
My own subconscious must have been at work, because I found myself shifting to make my swelling excitement less uncomfortable. My imagination was taking me up those lovely legs, concerned about where exactly that tan line would end. I believe that our conversation continued on an academic plane, but I suppose that a Freudian would have found more in it.
She licked her lips. I began to wonder how many clips her bra had. Had her nipples shown through the bra when she came in? I would have remembered that. They were now! A familiar moist sensation surrounded my now so-sensitive penis. I started to reach across the desk to take her hand as she laid it there in front of me. As I did so, I was envisioning the location in my desk drawer where I had tucked the feather-light condoms. And then I stopped.