It's been almost a month since she has had any sexual pleasure from another man. Her divorce still fresh but she was ready to be pleased the way she wanted to. Her ex-husband left her feeling like sex wasn't anything special, he did cheat on her with two women.
There are moments where she asked herself "Was I not good enough? Did it get boring for him?"
But she usually came to her senses quickly. She IS enough. He didn't deserve the love she gave.
She can't remember the last time she had sex when it was about her. It may have been the giver in her.
Enough of that. She was done putting herself second. Ignoring her needs to fulfill the other person.
Sex is a gift between two people. She was ready to experience it in a way she never have before. The divorce made her realize what she really wanted and needed in the bedroom.
Being alone can make someone think.
Lately she has been feeling lonely.
But she was not going to settle again.
She comes home after work, takes a hot shower, and collapses on her bed.
Sending messages to her best friends. They helped her through this time but of course they couldn't give her what she was longing for, sexual pleasure.
When it came to erotica, she enjoyed the words. The phone was her place of ecstasy. She didn't need a single touch as long as they gave her descriptors.
Everything about phone sex sent her into a frenzy.
The way a man lowers his voice. She could almost feel the breath just behind her ear. The way he shows restraint despite the fact he just wants to go for it.
The way he gets excited because she shows excitement.
The list is endless.
When was the last time? So long ago.
She scrolls through her social media. Unwinding after a long day. She notices someone.
A childhood friend.
It's almost like something was awakened inside of her. She always wanted to be close with him but she was a loyal women with eyes only for her husband.
Now that it was over she decided to take a chance and talk to her friend from long ago.
His name was Sean and he was her first long term male friend. He was funny but most of all, he never ridiculed her for her weight issue. She always admired him but he had his eyes for another.
Well, they weren't kids anymore. It's been 15 years give or take. Life has happened and they've had their experiences.
Around their 30s now, they have changed in many ways.
She messaged him.
Casual conversation.
Asking about friends, family, life.
He opened a bit of himself to her so after a bit of some time she opened up about her divorce. He listened and understood. Before she knew it, the feelings came and washed over her.
She began telling him how deprived she has been of late. She got sex at least twice a week with her ex-husband. She felt like her body was firing up.
Apparently it had been quite a long time for him as well. A lot longer than she endured.
They started lightly flirting. Softly building their way up to confidence to talk like this to each other.
They become closer each passing day.
She felt it intensely. Like years of feelings inside wanted to come out.
Too bad they didn't live close to each other.
Almost a 15 hour drive from point A to point B. Half of that time wouldn't be so bad?
What if they met in the middle?
The idea of camping was brought to attention.
She invited her friend and he invited his friend and his friend's girlfriend.
The drive to the campsite felt like the longest drive. It felt like an eternity. Her body responding at the thought of his hands on her. She was pulsing from the thoughts in her head. Thank goodness her friend slept the whole way there.
They finally arrive. She sits with her friend in the car. Attempting to avoid overthinking. Breathing calmly. She jokes with her friend about attacking him when she sees him. Their jokes calm her nerves.
He texts her where they are and she sees them in a bit of a distance.
Every step closer she feels that internal heat and pumping of her heart. He's her friend.
It's okay!
It has been a long time though.