Meaningless Sex 1

I stopped to let my eyes adjust to the light in the bar. It was Friday night, and the place was getting crowded. Dustin worked his way between laughing couples leaving the dance floor, and we met at a table before the barmaid finished clearing it.

I relaxed into a chair and said, "Got here as soon as Sidel let me go. I loosened my collar and my blue tie. "It's still too damned hot for this."

"Sidel was working late," Dustin said. "Project in trouble?"

"Closing out phase two. It was just a long debriefing."

"You're not too late." Dustin said, and nodded toward the crowd. "They just got here." The barmaid leaned over his shoulder, and Dustin said, "scotch, rocks."

I turned to look and picked out a table where four women talked over their drinks. I knew them from the elevator. Dustin and I got off for Taylor Engineering on the seventh floor and the women went on to Sayer and Thorpe on the ninth floor.

The barmaid got my attention, and I said, "Same." Might as well keep it easy. I leaned on my elbows and tried to read the women at the table. They were more interested in each other than in the people around them.

Dustin sat forward so he didn't have to yell. "What do you think? Would you do Emily?"

Emily was the busy blonde that everyone knew. "I think that's a loaded question."

Dustin laughed. "She told me they'd be here, so I think she's interested. What about the one with the big boobs?"

A barmaid stepped around us on her way to some place closer to the stage. My eyes followed her because I didn't need to look back at the women to know who Dustin was talking about. "She'd be a soft lay, you know? But she's not my type." I tapped my ring finger. "Wedding ring. You have to wonder what she's after."

"Huh," Dustin said. "I didn't notice that. I never got past the cleavage. What about the office lady?"

It was pretty obvious who Dustin meant. "I think her name's Rachel. I'm surprised she's here." Rachel, still in work clothes and with her dark hair up, seemed a little out of place.

Our barmaid leaned over the table with our drinks, and Dustin offered his credit card. He said, "You can get the next one," then sat up with his hands around his glass. "Looks like she could work in HR, right?"

"Maybe," I said, "but I like the look."

A fourth woman sat with her back to us with long hair falling over he shoulders, and Dustin started with, "What about…"

I didn't hear the rest of it. The band started their next cover while I picked a route to the women's table that would let Rachel see me coming. I could tell she recognized me. Her eyes followed me until I leaned over her shoulder and asked "Dance?"

"Sure," Rachel said. She smiled and turned on her chair. I stepped back and watched her stand on her practical pumps and smooth her tight skirt down.

I didn't know the song—it was some country hit—but I could dance to it. Rachel knew the song, and she sang while she moved, so I watched her eyes and her lips, and the long lines of her throat. I knew it all from our shared rides in the elevator, but now she was inviting my attention.

We danced until the band shifted gears into a slower song, and I walked Rachel off the dance floor. "I'm Nick Sideris," I said.

"Rachel Holland." She stopped by the wall and touched my hand in a sort of handshake then motioned to the table where Dustin had taken her empty chair. "Your friend didn't waste his time."

"Dustin," I said, and turned to face Rachel with my back to him.

Rachel tugged on my loose tie. "Did you come here from your office?"

"Looks like we both did," I said.

"I worked late and got a hot dog on the way here." Rachel looked around me toward her friends at the table. "We were talking about getting some real food. They're sending me signals like they want to go."

Dustin stood while the women got their things together, and he handed me my drink. "I didn't think we'd need two tables," he said. "The long hair is Evelyn, and the cleavage is Marika."

Two couples sat down at the table the women left. "And now we'll stand," I said, but that wasn't what held my attention. Rachel disappeared into the crowd and I gave myself a mental kick. "Dammit. I didn't get her number."

"Really?" Dustin said. "I got Emily's"

"Yeah? Well, I'll have to work on it."

I got to the office building a little early on Monday and waited in the lobby. A bus pulled up across the street, and when it pulled away it left Rachel waiting at the curb for traffic to clear.

A curious smile crossed Rachel's lips when she found me. "No tie today?" she asked.

"Not seeing clients." I stopped her before she joined the crowd in front of the elevators. "I didn't get your number the other night, so this is how I ask if I can treat you to lunch."

The elevator door hissed open beside us. Six other people fit themselves in, and Rachel waited with me until the door hissed shut again. "I brought my lunch, and my break isn't until one," she said. "I only get half an hour."

"We can get something at Gino's." I said and motioned to the lunch bar on the other side of the lobby. "We can sit outside to eat."

The elevator behind us opened, and I followed Rachel in. She made her decision before I got off on the seventh floor. "I'll eat my own lunch, but I'll take you up on sitting outside. See you there at one?"

My stomach started growling while I watched the clock, so I left my computer a little early to buy lunch at Gino's and waited on a bench outside the lobby. I set the pastrami-on-rye beside me and watched people hurrying back to their offices. It wasn't as nice out as it was when I first had the idea. The air hung damp and heavy between the buildings.

I wasn't watching when Rachel sat down at the other end of the bench. She turned toward me with a salad bowl beside her and didn't even start with a 'hello.' She said, "Are you on Facebook?"

I thought about denying it. I bit into my sandwich then held it in one hand to answer. "I am, but for my family—Mom, Dad, four brothers and sisters, aunts, cousins— It's a crowd. For work, I'm on LinkedIn."

"Big Family," Rachel said. She held her hand up and showed me a small gap between her thumb and forefinger. "Mine's little. I'm on LinkedIn too, but I try to ignore it." She dangled a torn spinach leaf from her fork. "I take care of the office's social media, and the last time I took time for any of mine was when I changed my status—like last year."

That made me swallow hard. "Status from what to what?" I bit off another mouthful and held my breath for a moment, waiting for the news.

"Separated to divorced." Rachel said and changed the subject. "Do you go to that bar very often?"

"To blow off steam once in a while. We were there Friday because Emily told Dustin that you guys would be there."

"Emily likes a lot of attention." Rachel picked bits of cheese out of her salad and popped them in her mouth. "Maybe giving you my number is the easiest thing."

"That's what I was hoping." I put the sandwich down, pulled my phone from my pocket, and waited.

Rachel recited her number and I shaded my phone from the sun so I could see to enter it. "I'll send you a text," I said and Rachel's phone chimed a moment later.

"And now you have mine," I tossed the last of my bread to a pigeon watching me from near my feet. "Are you doing anything Saturday night?"

"I always have plans, but what are you thinking?"

"A show at Laughs—if I can still get tickets."

We got a table for two at the late show. It was nearly midnight when we left, and by then the air was cool and gentle. I stopped under the comedy club's neon sign where moths flitted and dove through the light, and I rested my arm around Rachel's hips. It lasted just a moment. Rachel brushed her body against me and stepped away.

"That was fun," she said and left me with the confusing sense that it was OK to get close, but it was not OK to get close. She kept a measured distance between us on the rest of the slow walk to my car.

It was hard to be heard in the club. I learned that Rachel was Sayer and Thorpe's office manager and Sayer's secretary, and Rachel learned that I was an engineer. I still had a lot of questions.

"How's life after marriage?" I asked, and paused before I led Rachel across an empty street.

"I like it," she said. "I like being my own highest priority."

That felt like a warning. "No kids then?" I asked.

"I was ready, but my ex wasn't as invested. No kids and, for now, I think that's a good thing. How about you?" she asked.

"No kids. Never married." We turned into the parking garage, and I said, "I had the same girlfriend almost all the way through college, but then we went in different directions."

"If we hadn't married young," Rachel said, "then that's probably what we would have done, but we made the legal ties."

Rachel motioned to my car when I opened the door for her. "I guess you don't live downtown."

"Condo in Ridley Heights." I closed the door behind her and slid into the driver's seat. "A parking spot is one of my perks. That way, I can drive to work."

Rachel's apartment was a walkup above a vintage fashion shop. It was a short drive. I was lucky to find a parking spot on a street lined with shops and cafés. We walked a few yards to her apartment, and I said, "Nice neighborhood."

"I can afford it because I

don't

have a car." Rachel unlocked the gated stairs and stopped me on the sidewalk. "Maybe we can do lunch again."

"I'd like that, but I have a meeting in Denver early on Monday morning. I'll be there for the rest of the week."

"Then text me," Rachel said. She rose on her toes and brushed her lips against my neck. "We can get together."

Rachel locked the gate behind her and disappeared on the dark stairway, and I wondered where that left me.

* * * *

"So, you texted her?" Dustin asked, and pocketed his phone.

"Texted who?" My flight from Denver arrived long after work hours, but I carded into the office to drop my work off and met him on a street corner.

"Rachel. How many other 'hers' do you have lined up right now?"

"I lose count." Dustin laughed at me and pushed through the door into the corner coffee shop. He knew that, if I counted Rachel, there was only one. I looked down the street for a second before I followed Dustin inside. The sign on the shop below Rachel's apartment stood out just a half block away.

I caught up with Dustin at the counter and said, "I didn't think I had Rachel lined up."

He placed his order and said, "You must have. There's been angst in their office since you left."

I told the barista, "Tall Americano. Black," and asked Dustin, "Angst like what?"

"I don't know," He said. "That's just what Emily said."

We waited at the counter for our coffee, and I tried to explain. "Didn't have much to say from Denver, and I haven't even been back long enough to get my bag out of the car." I looked around the noisy shop for the first time. "So, what are we here for?"

Dustin laughed at me and said, "Coffee. Why else would we be at a coffee shop?" There were empty tables beside us, but he went to a table by the window that had just been cleared, and he took the chair that faced the door.

My coffee was half gone when a group of women passed the window on their way in. I saw them from the corner of my eye and didn't think much of it until I saw the recognition on Dustin's face. It was Rachel and Emily and their friends from work.

I leaned over the table asked, "Did you set this up?"

"Might have had something to do with it," he said.

The women placed their orders and took a table by the counter before Rachel's eyes met mine. We were riveted like that for a moment before Marika touched her shoulder and Rachel looked away.

That wasn't how I imagined meeting Rachel again. I glared at Dustin and asked, "What if I didn't want to see her right now?"

"What the hell does that matter? I did it for Emily." Dustin lowered his voice. "What? You don't want to see Rachel?"

I dropped back in my chair. "I didn't say that, but I don't know what to expect, either." I clenched my jaw for a moment then left my coffee on the table, and the women watched me bend close by Rachel's ear.

"Come talk?" I asked. She nodded her head and picked up her purse, and she traded places with Dustin.

Rachel asked, "How was Denver."

I seated her and sat down across the table before I answered, "It was good, but I spent my time watching PowerPoints." I noticed the texture of her skin. A single lock of hair hung loose beside her face until she tucked it behind her ear.

"I'm sorry I didn't text," I said. "I didn't know it would bother you."

"Bother me?" She looked away. The other women were laughing at something Dustin said. "It didn't bother me. Emily must have come up with that."

"Damn," I said, and drained what was left of my coffee. "I'd flattered myself into thinking that maybe you missed me."

The barista called out an order, and Rachel said, "I'll get my latte."

She paused at the other table on her way back then sat and watched me while she stirred her drink. "You're kind of a mystery, you know?"

I shrugged. "How mysterious can I be. Ask and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"It doesn't work that way." Rachel motioned to her friends. "We talk about guys and sex all the time. It's one way we protect ourselves from bad experiences. What Emily told us about Dustin makes us more comfortable with him, but no-one knows about you."

"Do you need a reference?" I was a little curious what they learned about Dustin, but I put that aside.

I wrapped my hands around my empty cup and shifted in my seat. "Guys I know don't talk about their girls. I mean, why advertise whatcha got? I could only guess about Dustin and Emily."

"That's the other side of the same coin," Rachel said. Her eyes drifted down, and she stroked her fingertips over my hands.

It felt good, and I leaned over the table. "Let's get dinner."

Rachel smiled. "Osteria is about a block-and-a-half from here. It's mostly pasta and pizza, but it's my favorite."

I called the restaurant and put my phone away. "It's a half-hour wait. They have a bar, but I don't really want to wait in a bar." I nodded toward the other table and said, "Let's leave them here and take a walk."

The heat of summer had finally broken. The night air was cool, and we strolled from shop window to shop window while people hurried around us. Rachel tucked her hand around my elbow as we stood in front of a bakery window filled with French pastries, and she said, "Just the

smell

of this place when they're baking makes me gain weight. Let's keep moving."

I put my hand over hers because I didn't want her to let go, and I watched her while we walked on. "Do your friends talk about anything but sex and guys?"

"We don't talk about things we disagree about," she said. "We talk about food a lot. Lately we've been talking about our biological clocks and what makes good DNA." She bumped me with her shoulder. "Or maybe that's just me."

I pulled her a little closer. "It wasn't this easy to get close last week. What's different?"

"Last week was a balancing act. I didn't want to discourage you, but I didn't want to lead you on, either."

"That was confusing," I said. "And now?"

"Now I'm not ovulating." Rachel's phone chimed in her purse, and I held her latte while she checked her message. "Emily wants to know what we're doing." Her shoulders slumped until she made up her mind. "I'm telling her we're going to Osteria

alone.

"

A couple passed us on their way out of the restaurant, and the staff was clearing the table while the hostess seated us. Rachel looked at me over the top of her menu. "Appetizer?"

"This conversation might be an appetizer." I said.

I lifted my menu out of the server's way while she placed a glass of water. She asked, "Can I get you anything else right now? Something from the bar?"

Rachel ordered a mojito. I had gin and tonic, and when the server was gone Rachel said, "Maybe an appetizer for a different kind of appetite."

"What's good?" I asked, and smiled across the table, "Besides the view."

Rachel didn't seem to mind my corny line. She straightened her back and set her menu aside. "Their pizzas have a cracker-thin crust, and if you don't like that, then the pastas are good. The white sauces are too rich for me. I don't know about you."

We ordered dinner when the server brought our drinks. Rachel ordered a small white pizza with morels and black olives, and I ordered linguini in clam sauce.

I waited until the server left and watched Rachel sniff her mojito. "So, you don't take the pill? Birth control, I mean." The question had been on my mind.

Rachel sipped and said, "I used the pill. I didn't like the side effects, so I quit."

There aren't many bartenders who can mess up a gin and tonic, so I wasn't as careful with my drink. "I'm glad to know that. I like to avoid life-changing surprises."

"I'm going to have a baby some time," Rachel said. "I don't want a surprise, but you know what? When I decide its time, I also don't want to quit the pill then wait two months while my cycle straightens out."

A second lock of dark hair had fallen from Rachel's up-do, and now the fallen locks framed her face. I watched her eyes, and her lips as she talked. I wasn't subtle. I wanted her to know where I looked—at her throat and as far down her conservative neck line as I could see.

Rachel looked away and very gently opened the top button of her blouse. It was something no-one would notice but me. I smiled, and sat back as the server brought our order.

Maybe we lost track of time. We were laughing over a nearly empty table when Rachel's phone chimed. She checked her messages and said, "Dear God, why are Evelyn and Marika waiting for me?"

Our server had already run my card, so I put it away and said, "Let's go. It's the easiest way to find out."

The street was lit with car lights and streetlamps and with the lights from signs and marquees. People moved in couples and in groups along the walkways from restaurants to clubs to theaters, and a rhythmic beat throbbed above the traffic.

Evelyn and Marika were part of the crowd across the street. Marika cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, "We're going to the bar. Wanna come?"

Rachel waved then turned around and told me. "I think they're really checking to see if I need a way out."

"Let's send them a clear signal," I said. Rachel didn't know what I was doing at first when I put my arm around her waist and pulled her close. She looked up at me with a question on her lips, and I slipped my hand up to the back of her neck and covered her open mouth with mine.

Rachel exhaled surprised sounds against my cheek, and then relaxed against me. She offered her tongue and rose in my arms. I meant that kiss to send her friends a message, but Rachel sent my body a message that flowed through me like electricity. It lasted until she flattened her hand against my chest and pressed me back.

I watched the light reflected in her eyes. I asked, "To my place?" and she looked down and nodded her answer. Evelyn and Marika were laughing at us from the other side of the street, and Rachel shouted back, "Ya'll have fun without me."

By bus, by foot, by car, my place was forty minutes away. I opened the passenger door for Rachel when I got her home, and she said, "I like my commute better than yours."

"This place has its good points, but a convenient location isn't one of them." I jerked my travel bag from the trunk, and Rachel stood close by my side while I unlocked the door. I threw the door open, and she asked, "Where's the bathroom?"

I pointed her to the bathroom around the corner, and parked my travel bag in my bedroom. I was checking the date on the milk in the fridge when Rachel came back. She leaned against the counter and said, "I looked around. It's like really neat and clean in here." She had a curious smile on her lips. "Someone left her shampoo."