Matchmakers Folly

This story is a collaboration between my editor, Ray, and I. The concept was my idea, but I stopped writing the story halfway for some reasons. Ray didn't want to see it incomplete, so he finished writing it. This is the last story I'll ever post. Thank you to all the people who've sent me such encouraging emails about my work.

Chapter 1. A Fallen Angel.

"He's really angry you know," Hera informed Giselle. "You really messed up this time."

"I know," Giselle said miserably. "But they loved each other and, well..."

Before Hera could say anything, the bell hanging over her desk chimed twice, signaling that Cupid was ready to see Giselle.

Giselle shot a nervous glance at Hera and slowly began walking towards the door.

"Giselle," Hera called out, wishing to soothe the nervous angel before she walked into Cupid's room. "It'll be fine, don't worry."

Giselle gave a doubtful nod before she knocked and entered.

"So," Cupid said when he saw her standing uneasily in front of his desk. "Do you really need me to tell you why you were summoned here?"

"No," Giselle replied in a timid voice, her eyes downcast.

That small voice tugged at Cupid's heart strings because he was by nature a sentimental fellow, but he was resolved to tell this angel where she had gone wrong.

"Giselle, this isn't the first time you've made a mistake. But, yes, this is the biggest mistake you've made so far. How could you let this happen? How could you split up two couples?" he asked sternly

"I'm sorry," Giselle said, feeling guilt ridden.

Cupid softened; no, he really couldn't scold her, she looked so downcast.

"Giselle," he said gently, "This time, by getting Ron and Shelley together, you've left two people without partners. Do you realize what could happen to them? We get so few soul mates as it is, with all this divorcing and open relationships that are happening on Earth." He wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"We just don't need you breaking up more couples. I'm afraid I am going to have to transfer you."

Giselle gasped, tears filling her eyes. "Please don't do that," she begged. "Please don't make me a guardian angel!"

"I have no choice in the matter," Cupid said firmly. "The matter has been agreed upon by higher authorities. But I can tell you this, Giselle; if you do a good job as a guardian, then there is a possibility of you getting transferred here again."

"Really?" Giselle asked, sudden hope filling her eyes.

"Yes, really," Cupid replied, inwardly smiling at the little angel. "Fiona will be taking your place, and you will be replacing her as a guardian. You'll need to hand in your bow and arrows to Hera on the way out, and collect your halo from Glenda; heavenly fortune attend you Giselle."

Giselle nodded and walked out of the room, misery etched on her face. She walked over to Hera and handed in her bow and arrows.

Hera looked at them and whispered, "Oh no."

Giselle just shrugged sadly, and then fled before Hera could say anything further.

Hera, angry on her friend's behalf, stormed into Cupid's office.

"Don't worry, Hera," Cupid said before Hera could speak, not even looking up from his papers. "She'll be back soon enough."

This answer was sufficient for Hera, for she knew that Cupid was fond of Giselle, and what he had done would be for Giselle's ultimate good.

Nodding, she walked out of the office and resumed her work.

Chapter 2. The New Guardian.

Giselle sat sulking in the Guardian Angel's Office, feeling morose about losing her job. But nothing could be done now. She had to prove herself to get back. She was startled out of her reverie when she heard Glenda call her name.

"Here is your halo," said Glenda, handing it over, "and this is the Guardian Angel's Manual. Scott Williams is your assignment. You'll be taking over from Fiona, and you'd better get going immediately because news is just in that he needs help."

Giselle nodded and put on her halo. She then closed her eyes and waited while Glenda put a pinch of heavenly dust on her golden locks and whispered an incantation that would take her to her charge.

She felt a sudden rush of wind and then, nothing.

When she opened her eyes, judging by the equipment around her, she was standing in a restaurant kitchen.

There was no one in sight so she decided to look around. She searched for a few minutes, but still couldn't find anyone. Suddenly, she heard a sound coming from a small room off the kitchen. When she went in, she saw a man of about 27 or 28 years of age sitting in an obvious state of dejection.

Giselle's previous experience as one of cupid's angels told her immediately that what ailed the young man was an affair of the heart.

New to the guardian angel business she was unsure what her next move should be. She made herself visible and tentatively said, "Excuse me."

Scott looked up, startled. Giselle saw brown eyes, a slightly curved nose set in an intelligent looking face topped by shaggy black hair and an expression of surprise on his countenance.

"The restaurant is closed," he said sullenly, "And who are you anyway and how did you get in, the place is locked."

"I'm your guardian angel and I just dropped in."

"You're my what?"

"Your...er...guardian angel."

"Ha, ha, very funny, now out of here before I call the cops."

"But I..." Giselle began to say, but before she could finish she felt her arm grabbed and she was being propelled towards the door.

Angels tend to be rather difficult to keep a hold on, and before Scott could push her out her somewhat insubstantial arm had slipped from his grasp.

"Now there's no need to get forceful," she admonished, "I'm here to help, but if you don't want my help I can always..."

"Don't get forceful," Scott mimicked, somewhat annoyed that what he took to be a rather slightly built girl had slipped his manly grasp. "A crazy girl breaks into the place and then says she's my guardian angel, and I'm not supposed to get forceful!"

"But it's true," Giselle protested, "I am your guardian angel."

"All right, so you're my guardian angel," Scott scoffed, "so before I call in the law to arrest you for breaking and entering, suppose you show me your angel wings?"

"Oh, that's not difficult," Giselle said confidently, and so, in front of an astonished Scott, Giselle unfurled her wings, the pure white feathers contrasting with her pink dress.

Scott stared dumbfounded for a few moments, and then laughing derisively said, "It's a trick, those aren't real wings."

"Try touching them," Giselle said defiantly, "go on, touch them."

With a sardonic smile on his face Scott touched the wings and the smile faded. He took hold of them firmly and then tried to pull them off."

"Holy shit! You really are an angel!" Scott said, looking astounded.

"Not so much of the bad language," Giselle said a bit stiffly. "I don't mind the 'Holy' but I don't care for the other word; and there was no need to be so rough with my wings."

"Oh...er...sorry," Scott said, running a hand through his already untidy hair and still staring.

"So, what exactly are you supposed to do as my guardian angel?" He asked, plopping down on a chair and looking at her, bemused.

"To be honest, I'm not really sure because this is my first time on the job," Giselle said wistfully, "but you don't seem to have been aware that you've had a guardian angel before, so perhaps we could learn as we go along."

"You mean, like on the job training?" Scott said.

"Something like that," Giselle said thoughtfully, and then brightening went on, "I do have the Guardian Angel Manual, that might help."

Giselle seemed to produce the manual out of the ether and opening it at the first page she commenced reading. Suddenly her wings drooped and a look of dismay spread across her face.

"Heavenly excrement," she gasped.

"What's the matter?" Scott asked anxiously.

"I broke the first rule!" Giselle wailed, tears filling her eyes.

Scott took the manual from her limp grasp and read. The minute he saw the opening lines, he knew. There, on the very first page, written in bold red letters was this: "Do not make your presence known to your charge in anything other than the direst circumstances."

"Yeah, you really did break the rule, didn't you?" Scott said closing the manual and handing it back to her.

Giselle nodded miserably and said, "Do you suppose we could call your circumstances dire?"

Wishing to make her feel a little better, Scott said, "Well I suppose I could make them dire if it'll get you off the hook with whoever your boss is."

"Really?" Giselle asked, looking a trifle happier.

"You see," Scott continued, "there was this girl that I..."

"It's all right," Giselle interrupted, "its love trouble isn't it?"

"Yes," Scott replied despondently, "you see I...er...we that is...we had this...hey, how the hell did you know it was love trouble?"

"Please," Giselle said, putting her hands over her ears, "we never mention that place that begins with aitch."

"Sorry...sorry," Scott apologized, "but how did you know about my trouble?"

"Well I used to be...that is I was once...er...can we just say it's a combination of instinct and experience?"

"Okay," Scott said, "let's leave it at that for the time being, so what are you going to do about it?"

"That depends on the situation in total; I have to survey the scene; take account of all possible parameters; weigh up the pros and cons; have regard for the parties involved; consider the needs of everyone implicated; look at the bigger picture and after considering the overall prospects, and then in the fullness of time I might be able to..."

"Whoa, hold it," Scott yelled, "You're sounding like a government bureaucrat; what are you going to do for me right now?"

"I don't know," Giselle said wretchedly.

"You don't know!" exclaimed Scott, "then what the hell...sorry...use are you? Some guardian angel you've turned out to be."

"Look," said Giselle meekly, "we've already agreed that we'd both learn as we went along, and after all, I'll be with you the whole time."

"What" yelped Scott, leaping to his feet, "The whole time?"

"Of course, that's what guardian angels do."

"You don't mean even when I'm....I'm..."

"Yes, but don't worry, we're inured to witnessing the more private and intimate things that humans have to engage in. I'll make myself invisible at those times so you won't be embarrassed; in any case as you know I'm not supposed to have become visible to you unless..."

"Unless my situation is dire, yes, we've been over that and we've agreed that my situation is dire."

He looked at her curiously for a few moments and then asked, "Do you have to do what humans do, you know like..."

Giselle smiled and replied, "Since we have no need to eat and drink we don't need to do what you're referring to."

"You are female, aren't you?" Scott asked warily; "I mean, you look like a girl."

Giselle considered this for a moment and then said, "Well it's not something we ever discuss among ourselves -- the other angels I mean - but I suppose I am what you'd call female."

"Then there must be boy angels."

"Yes, I suppose there must be; certainly some of them have boy's names like Michael and Gabriel, and the really important angels sometimes get sent on special missions like announcing the birth of...er...his name escapes me for the moment, but you human's have an annual celebration called....er..."

"Christmas," Scott said helpfully.

"Yes...yes...that's it," Giselle agreed enthusiastically.

"If there are male and female angels then you must....well...you must procreate so you must..."

"No...no...nothing like that; you see, we're eternal."

"Eternal!"

"Yes, from all eternity, although..."

Giselle paused for a moment and then went on, "There is some debate among the more academic angels about our origins. Of course, there is only One who really knows and we could ask The One, but you have to be careful how you deal with...with...er...

"What's the matter?"

"It's just that...I'm not supposed to discuss the matter here on earth but..."

"But what?"

"Well there is some heavenly debate about whether...whether you can properly...I mean...should it be 'Him,' 'She,' or 'It'? but for the time being we've settled for 'The One.'"

"That's strange," Scott said, "we're having the same debate here. Look I don't mean to be rude, but I can't stop here talking all night; I've got to get home and cook myself a meal."

"Do you work in this place?" Giselle asked, looking around.

"Yes, why?"

"Well it's a restaurant so couldn't you have your meals here?"

"Here!" Scott laughed; "not on your life, the food's terrible."

"You sell terrible meals?"

"Of course," Scott said cheerfully, "but it doesn't matter. What you have to do is to present a fancy menu and give the dishes some exotic names and then add a high price and the customers think they're getting something special. They even congratulate us on our cooking. When I'm going to eat I cook at home where I'm sure there aren't any mice and rats about the place."

"Ah," Giselle said doubtfully, wondering about the curious ways of humans.

"I'm starving," Scott said, "so it's goodbye for now."

"Oh no," Giselle said, "I thought you'd understood I've got to be with you all the time."

"Yes...yes of course," Scott said; "er... what should I say when people ask me who you are?"

"They won't ask because I'll be invisible to everyone else but you, and as you know I shouldn't have made myself manifest to you."

"Mani what?"

"Manifest, apparent, visible..."

"Then why didn't you say so?"

"Well, we use words like 'manifest' and 'epiphany' in heaven. Now if we're going let's go, this place gives me the creeps, it's so greasy."

Chapter 3. On Guard.

They drove to Scott's apartment. On arrival he said, "I'd like to take a shower first, you won't need to...to...be..."

"I'm afraid so, but I'll make myself invisible so you won't be embarrassed."

"But I'll know you're there," Scott complained.

"Can't be helped," Giselle replied, "I've got my job to do."

She followed Scott to the shower and watched him as he stripped off, carefully observing his assets.

She concluded that those assets were considerable and wondered why the girl who had apparently broken his heart had not appreciated what Scott had to offer. "The other guy must have been some hunk," she thought in rather unheavenly language.

Once Scott had finished and was dressed Giselle made her self visible again.

"There, that wasn't too bad, was it?" she asked cheerfully.

"I suppose not," Scott said doubtfully, "but it would have been better if you'd been a boy angel."

"Why?" Giselle asked, slightly offended.

"Well, you must have seen my...my..."

"Scott," Giselle said sternly, "you're not trying to tell me that no human female has seen it, are you?"

"Of course they haven't," Scott protested.

"Not even your mother?"

"Well of course my mother when I was a kid, but no one else."

"Scott," Giselle said reproachfully.

"Okay...okay...so there's been the odd female."

"That's better Scott," Giselle said softly, "it's a serious matter, lying to a guardian angel, it can get you into all sorts of trouble; and anyway, we can always tell when you're lying. Now suppose we go into this love problem of yours."

"Look," Scott said, "can we leave it over for a while I'm starving and need to eat."

"We can leave it for as long as you like, Scott," Giselle said easily, "I've got all eternity, but bear in mind that you haven't, you're finite."

"But I thought we're supposed to go to heaven when we die, and that's eternity, isn't it?"

"Sorry Scott," Giselle said seriously, "The One has made it very clear that we angels are not to discuss that subject with humans. That is entirely within the prerogative of The One, and I've broken enough heavenly rules already."

"But they tell us in church that..."

"Oh, the Church," Giselle said, somewhat disparagingly. "Of course they think they know it all but in fact they know next to nothing despite the fact that The One has tried to tell them. They've got a sort of block that stops them understanding, I think you humans call it 'sin,' but we angels call it 'hubris.'"

"Really," said Scott, starting to prepare his meal, "I think I've heard that word somewhere. It's something to do with a broken wheel hub isn't it?"

Giselle began to say, "It's nothing to do with..." but gave up and said, "Yes, something like that."

He was preparing some penne pasta with pesto sauce.

"Want some?" Scott asked, indicating the food.

"No thank you," Giselle replied, "I told you angels don't eat and drink...no, that's not quite true. When some of the senior angels get sent out on assignment to meet with humans in order to deliver a message from The One, they have to appear to be human themselves, so they get to eat, but that's a special dispensation. Apart from that if one of us eats it will disrupt the balance of the universe and The One would be very upset."

Scott laughed cynically saying, "Then he must be furious all the time because we humans have been doing our best to upset the balance of the universe for at least a million and a half years."

"Yes...yes...I was reading something about that in the Eternal Trumpet recently," Giselle said. "I believe there are some plans afoot to counter this with what they're calling global warming and a few other nasty consequences."

Scott did not respond because his mouth was full of pasta.

"A greedy lot, human beings," Giselle said thoughtfully.

Scott swallowed hastily.

"I suppose I must be fair," Giselle continued, "there's millions who have got hardly anything while five percent have ninety percent of the wealth that The One intended everyone to share."

Giselle paused thoughtfully for a moment, and then giving her wings a shake said, "But that's not my department, that's dealt with by the Garden of Eden Environmental Planning Department. I'm here to see that you don't get into trouble and help out where I can so what about your love problem?"

"Look...er...have you got a name I can use?"

"Yes, Giselle."

"Look Giselle, I don't want to disparage your powers but I don't see how you can help, what's done is done and can't be undone."

"You're quite right," Giselle said enthusiastically. "Start trying to change the past and you get into a total mess. No, we have to deal with the present."

She laughed and went on, "Of course a lot of governments get their historians to write up the past to suit their own ends but eventually the truth comes out."

"The point is, Giselle," Scott went on, "I'm dead beat and all I want to do is go to bed. I've got the day off tomorrow so could we hold up the talk until then?"

"If that's how you want to use up you're limited time," Giselle replied.

"Limited; do you mean I'm due to snuff it shortly?" Scott gasped.

"What is your finitude compared to eternity?" Giselle said almost casually. "The life of humans is but a blink in the eye of The One -- that is, if The One has an eye."

"Don't you know if The One has got an eye?" Scott asked.

"I'm not sure, I've never actually seen The One, but some of the top brass who have say it's difficult to tell because of the blinding light surrounding The One.

"So I'm not likely to die in the next few days?" Scott asked anxiously.

"I hope not," Giselle replied, "I've only just started this assignment and want to make a success of it before your demise."

"That's okay then," Scott said, sounding relieved. "So we can hold up the talk about my love life until tomorrow?"

"As you wish," Giselle replied.

"Where would you like to sleep," Scott asked, "I've got a spare bedroom."

"Sleep...sleep," Giselle replied scornfully, "Angels don't sleep; we are eternally vigilant; always alert to ever present dangers; the unsleeping protectors; the all seeing, all knowing guardians of..."