That night while I lay in bed, my thoughts kept drifting to that afternoon with Matthew. I couldn’t stop smiling. I had never felt so alive; every nerve in my body was humming with electricity when I recalled his touch.
The one thing I didn’t expect was the overwhelming guilt that kept creeping up behind my thoughts of Matthew. I knew I would feel guilty but not to this degree. It didn’t seem to matter that my husband and I hardly spoke or the fact that we hadn’t had sex in over five months, he is still my husband and I betrayed our vows.
I began to cry when I came to the realization that I couldn’t go on seeing Matthew. As much as my body longed for his touch I couldn’t carry on an affair. I made up my mind; I was going to tell Matthew the next day, we could never do that again.
After hours of tossing and turning, I finally dozed off. Even my dreams were consumed with Matthew. I dreamt we were at his apartment, lying on his sofa together, watching television. My head was on his chest and his left arm was around my waist, holding me close to him.
He put his hand on my lower back and began tracing small circles. His hand was warm; it didn’t seem like a dream, it felt so real. Slowly his hand moved down my back to the top of my ass, I looked up at him and he smiled. He slipped his hand into my panties and began to massage my rear end, my nipples grew hard and my pussy was instantly wet as my body responded to the memory of the way he felt inside me.
His hand moved lower till he was almost touching my pussy, I pushed my ass out further hoping to feel his fingers against my moist lips.
That’s when I woke up!
I dragged myself out of bed and made my way to the bathroom to take a shower. The feeling of the warm water on my body again reminded me of the shower Matthew and I shared together yesterday afternoon. How was I supposed to not be with him again when all I could do was think about him?! Telling him I couldn’t be with him was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever done.
I dressed slowly and deliberately, trying to pick something mildly sexy. I didn’t want to be overtly sexual if I was going to tell him I couldn’t go on the trip next week but at the same time, I wanted him to think I looked nice.
I chose a simple black skirt cut just above the knee and a black satin tank top with a charcoal gray sweater over it. The tank showed some cleavage but nothing too revealing. When you have breasts as large as mine it’s hard not to show some cleavage unless I wear a turtleneck. I opted to go without stockings, it was a nice day and I wanted to feel the cool air on my legs; well at least that’s what I told myself.
Deep down I knew that I couldn’t tell Matthew it was over, I knew this because I chose my underwear with him in mind, a black lace bra and black satin thong panties. I thought they looked sexy and I hoped he would have the chance to see them.
I stood in front of the mirror wondering how he felt at that very moment. Was he thinking of me? Did he ever dream about me? I felt like a schoolgirl wondering if a boy liked me. I felt a bit foolish but at the same time very exhilarated because I wanted desperately to see him.
I wasn’t quite sure how he would act in the office with everyone there, I hoped that he wouldn’t ignore me but prayed that he would because I was afraid my feelings would be obvious if he so much as looked in my direction.
I finished getting ready by applying my makeup, powder, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick. I don’t like to wear makeup; the only time I do is for work, so I try to keep it simple and quick. I pulled my hair back and was ready to go.
The drive to work seemed to take forever. I kept going over in my mind what I would say to Matthew when I had the chance to be alone with him. The mere thought of being alone with him sent chills up my spine and my nipples grew erect. If this is how I felt when I just thought of being alone with him, how would I be able to handle being alone with him and not jump his bones?!
I kept telling myself I should end things with him, I knew I wouldn’t and couldn’t do it but I had to try. Still…..the way he made me feel….
I tried to stop thinking that way, but thoughts of making love with him kept drifting in my mind and by the time I got to work my pussy was dripping wet. I went straight to the bathroom hoping not to see him. I lucked out, the office was still empty, and I encountered no one.
I cleaned myself up avoiding the temptation to take matters into my own hands. I stood there a long time trying to build up the courage to walk out. I opened the door quickly and stepped out and right into him.
All my courage melted as soon as I felt my body near his, every fiber of my being ached to be in his arms.
“Good morning Marianne. You weren’t trying to hide from me, were you?” he said with a sly grin.
He surprised me by wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me passionately. I reluctantly pulled away.
“What are you doing, everyone will be here any second now!”
“No they won’t. It’s just the two of us; I called Pete and told him everything was so slow because of the holiday and that we should give the rest of the staff the day off. He agreed and said he’d make the calls. I of course told him I’d need you here today to prep for our conference in San Francisco next week.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say a word, I just put my arms around his neck and kissed him. He slipped his tongue in my mouth and lit the same fire he’d lit the day before. I melted into his arms and pressed my body against him as tightly as I could. I felt his erection growing against my belly and I could feel my pussy aching to feel him inside me again.
So much for telling him it was over.
We work in a reasonably large office; our floor consists of a large main lobby, a small inner lobby where the receptionist sits, three conference rooms, 12 decent size cubicles and 9 individual offices (four large offices with private bathrooms). I work in one of the smaller offices between my boss Pete’s office and Matthews’s office.
Matthew is not my direct supervisor but I’m his admin support and I do a lot work for him. I’m glad for that because it gave us an excuse to work together today and I wouldn’t have to feel too awkward about “sleeping with the boss” since he technically wasn’t.
He led me to his office and closed the door behind us.
“What about the phones? If Cassie isn’t here to answer them, that means I should.”
“You won’t have to do that, the office is closed, remember? We’re preparing for the conference; we don’t want to be disturbed. Do we?”
“Ummmm, no, I suppose we don’t.” I hesitated, not sure what to do.
Should I leave and head home, happy to have a day off, with pay? Or should I stay with Matthew and make love all afternoon? I’m not an idiot I made the logical choice, I stayed! I felt a tinge of guilt about being paid for being at work but I quickly overcame that, I was just happy to be alone with him again.