The alarm went off and my body was unwilling to move because Marcie was pressed against me. I reached over to hit the button before I went back within her grasp. When one remembers time, it is the little moments like this that seem to come up. It's a small moment to be sure. I learned to treasure them because of the pain both of us went through.
The first day after Missy's passing was one of the hardest. I remember waking up after a difficult night. Wanting to think it was a dream. Wishing it were. It was a moment I remember well. I remember staying in my bed that day. I didn't even move when Marcie let herself in. She came over to check on me. Luckily, I had the forethought to be wearing shorts when I slept. I remember her making a great effort to coerce me out of bed before she helped me make breakfast. It was a short visit when she did, but it meant a ton back then. Her husband was still around back then. She had to go back to help him.
I felt her arms surround me. It told me she was still partially awake when she was doing this. I enjoyed the embrace for another moment before I turned to hold her back. There is something about the intimate moments when our chests touch that calm me more than anything. As I started to wake up a little more, I looked over at the clock again and remembered.
"Marcie, we need to get up."
She lay there motionless, but with a huge smile on her face. I kissed her forehead.
"Sweetheart, we need to get moving."
"Just a few more minutes, Baby," she replied.
I stayed there holding her. I love the moments when her mushy side comes out. Ever since we started getting serious with our relationship, I treasured those moments. Marcie had always been an independent woman since I have known her. She was so confident, so unshakable at times. There were times she would reveal her vulnerability to me back then. Times when it was difficult for her to process Mitchell being gone. Times when she let down her guard because there was nothing left for that moment. But it was later when she started allowing her heart to love again that I remember. The little kisses when I wasn't expecting it. The dreamy look in her eyes when I surprised her. Those were the moments I gravitated towards the most. Those were the moments that spurred me to imagine the thought of being with this angel for the rest of my life. It was moments like that where the world felt perfect, even when it wasn't.
We remained like that for a few minutes. I knew I was getting too comfortable when she looked at me with that mix of dreams and the realization of what that day was. She leaned forward and shared a small kiss with me. It was then she whispered.
"Now I see why you hate getting ready for work so much."
She slipped out of bed towards the shower while I slipped in behind her. The shower was a tame one per our standards. It was a bit when we were drying off when she started realizing what we were doing.
"What should I wear?" she asked.
"I thought you had an idea. It's not like you're doing everything Aubrey does."
She was quiet for a bit, biting her lip as she ran through ideas.
"I guess jeans are out of the question."
"I wish I could say they weren't. The only ones who wear jeans are the lab techs. Usually under their white coats"
