Love of Autism

It is here! Chapter five is here! I know everyone has been anxious and patiently waiting for this chapter. This chapter has been my favorite to write for several reasons and my editor really enjoyed it as well. As always, thank you Tigersman for editing this chapter.

Also, I give away some spoilers to the anime series Attack on Titan, but only from the first eight episodes. Read at your own risk if haven't watched it yet and want to.

*****

"Well hello there Scott!" Bernie said excited to see Scott.

"Hi Bernie," Scott said still feeling depressed and burnt out.

"Come on in, it has been a couple years since you've come by."

Scott walked into his office and plopped himself down on the couch at the far end. "Well I am eighteen now so you can't tell my parents anything about what we talk about in here."

Bernie sat down in his desk chair. "That is true. I can no longer do that. Everything you tell me now stays between us unless you tell me otherwise."

"That's good because I have a lot to tell and I really don't want my parents to know anything of what I'm about to tell you."

Bernie nods his understanding. "Well we have two hours so why don't you start from the beginning."

Scott proceeds to tell Bernie, starting with the death of his grandma, then the encounter with Katie in the parking lot after his day back to school after his grandma's funeral, the proceeding lunches with her, Homecoming, the double date, tutoring Alyssa long with her tutoring him in sexual foreplay, and ending with Katie's confession of love for him.

"Well that seems to be a lot of stuff that has gone on in a short amount of time. Who would have thought you and Katie would actually become friends."

"Yeah, but don't know if we will still be friends after she professed her love for me."

"Don't you have somewhat similar feelings for her?" Bernie asked already knowing the answer.

Scott hated the fact everyone seemed to know his true feelings for Katie, but knew Bernie would know right away. "Yes, I was starting to fall for her, but I think it is best that I don't date her."

"Well what was the difference between Katie and Alyssa?"

"Alyssa never bullied me growing up. Katie made my life hell."

"Yet even after all of that, you still started to fall in love with her. Why?"

Scott shrugged his shoulders, "If I knew I would tell you."

"I think you do know when it all started at Homecoming."

Scott raised his eyebrow. "Homecoming?"

"Yes, when you stopped looking at her as a bully and as someone who needed help, even maybe a friend."

Scott shook his head, still not seeing where Bernie was coming from. "You're going to have to lead me to what you're talking about because I don't see it."

"Well it is somewhat the stereotypical prince saving the princess."

Scott laughed at the mere thought. "Oh, that is rich Bernie. Me, the prince, saving the beautiful princess from a horrible night after finding out her date for the evening was actually cheating on her."

"Well what else happened besides that and the double date?"

"Nothing," Scott said trying to calm down from his laughter, "nothing really happened besides us just getting close and her treating me like a human being for once."

"How did she start treating you like a human being?"

"I don't know. For one she stopped bullying and stopped talking about my autism as a negative thing. If anything, she wanted to learn more about how my autism affects me and stuff."

"So, she wanted to understand you better?"

"Yeah, I guess," Scott said raising his hands up before plopping them back down on the couch. "I mean she wants to get out of this forced lunch together just as bad as I want to."

"Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps she would actually still like to have lunch with you after all this is said and done. I think if you were to just be truthful with yourself you would want the same thing."

Scott sat there in silence, thinking about what Bernie had said to him. He wanted to not be forced to have lunch with Katie and instead have it with his two best friends. However, there was some truth to what Bernie said. Even after everything Katie had put him through, he was still liking her also as more than a friend.

"I do."

"You do what?" Bernie asked wanting Scott to say it out loud.

"I do want to keep spending some lunches with her. I'm just afraid of hurting her."

"How would you hurt her?"

Scott took a deep breath to get himself ready to tell the whole truth. "Because part of me still can't forgive everything I went through because of her and if we got into a fight I would use how she used to bully me against her."

Bernie nodded his head. "I see. That can make things quite difficult."

Scott quietly snorted. "Yeah, very difficult indeed."

"But that is for Katie to decide how to respond to that when the time comes and how you deal with it if that happens."

"Or just make sure that doesn't happen to begin by not pursuing a relationship with her," Scott argued back.

"Do you think no fighting or arguments happen in other relationships and marriages?"

"No, of course not."

"Do you think your mom and dad have ever said something to each other that they wish they could take back?"

"Probably."

"Then what you would experience with Katie in that regard is normal. The fact you don't want to hurt her is commendable and honorable. However, it is not a good reason to not want to try to pursue a relationship with someone that wants one with you. If anything, the situation with Alyssa has shown you what it is like to not really care about someone else and just use them for their own pleasure."

That made Scott stop and think. Alyssa had just used him for sexual gratification and stated that is all she would want their relationship to be. Katie had actually tried to connect with him on a personal level and make him feel important. Even when things seemed to be going to shit for him, she was there trying to console him about how things were going with Alyssa. Even through everything, she still confessed her love for him and how much it hurt to see him with Alyssa. Then he remembered something else Katie said. He remembered that she said she fighting with her mother in defense of him.

"Fuck," Scott said barely loud enough for Bernie to hear.

"What? What is it Scott?" Bernie asked, wondering what was on Scott's mind.

"Just something I'm realizing about Katie and what she told me yesterday."

"And what are you realizing?"

Scott shook his head feeling like an idiot. "That she does really care about me."

"OK, but we've established that already."

"No," Scott shook his head again, "she was willing...she is fighting with her mom to defend me."

"Ah," Bernie said putting the pieces together, "so you are now realizing another level of how much she cares for you."

Scott sighed before responding. "Yeah, she loves me enough to sacrifice her relationship with her mother."

"That is very big."

"It is, but...I don't know."

"What are you trying to figure?" Bernie asked interested in what Scott was thinking.

Scott rubbed his face with both hands before answering. "How much I actually like her."

***********************************************

Katie was sad when she got the notification that Scott wasn't at school. She hoped he was okay after how things ended between him and her the previous day. Now however she had a different problem, she didn't know where to sit for lunch and who with. Her previous friends had all but stopped talking to her since Homecoming and Scott was pretty much her only friend at that point. The only option to her was to still go to the table she and Scott sat at but just eat alone. She was about to resign to that fact when she got a message notification on her tablet. She opened it and saw it was message from Liz.

Hey Katie. Since Scott isn't here today, Steve and I are inviting you to have lunch with us. Meet us by the school entrance as soon as the bell rings for lunch.

While unexpected, it was an invitation she didn't feel like turning down. As soon as the bell rang a few minutes later she left the class room immediately and waited by the school's entrance. Not even a minute later Steve pulled up in his dark blue Ford Escape with Liz in the passenger seat and window rolled down.

"Hurry up and get in," Liz yelled, "We don't have forever for lunch."

Katie ran towards the Escape and got in the back seat. "So where are we going to eat? I don't have a lot of money with me."

"Don't worry about it," Steve said as he hit the gas and got out of the parking lot as fast as he could. "We got you covered."

"Thank you," Katie said gratefully, "I really appreciate it." Steve drove them to a local burger place and when they arrived a young woman brought them their food and drinks over to the car. "Um, you guys didn't even ask what I wanted on my burger."

"So you have a problem with pickles, ketchup, mustard and lettuce?" Liz asked.

"No."

"So what's the problem?" Liz asked with a big grin on her face.

"Don't mind her," Steve said handing Katie her pop. "We've just never seen you pick a part a burger before or anything so figured you'd be fine with what he told them to put on minus onions because onion breath isn't good."

"Actually if you did give me onions, I would have taken them off so good call there," Katie complimented.

Steve gave a sidelong glance at his girlfriend. "See, I told you no onions is always the way to go."

"You don't have to point out when you're right every time Steve," Liz said annoyed.

"I only mention that I'm right on things you're so sure you're right. Sometimes it is not a bad thing to be humbled once in a while."

"Mean like when I humbled you in Smash Brothers Saturday night?"

Steve pursed his lips, wishing Liz would stop reminding him of that every day. "Yes, I was humbled then but I won't go easy on you anymore."

Katie couldn't help but laugh at them. "Well it is obvious you two are well past the honeymoon phase of your relationship."

"Oh you have no idea," Liz said somewhat sarcastically.

The three of them ate their food, drank their pop, and made small talk. Katie was happy to not be alone for lunch and even happier Scott's friends were looking out for her. It was nice being around people who cared about her, but they had to get back to school and she would feel alone again, especially during English because Scott wasn't going to be there.

*****************************************************

"Dammit, I'm off today," Scott said after losing another game of Halo multiplayer. Normally he could hold his own and have a kill to death ratio of one to one. This was not the case as he seemed to only kill someone after he got killed three times. His shots were off, grenade throws not even close to the enemy players and he seemed to make stupid mental mistakes.

He backed out of the online multiplayer menu to the game's main menu and stared at it for a few moments. The one thing he always liked about the Halo games was that they always had an excellent musical score and some very soothing tracks. He had several of the soundtracks on his phone to listen to if he felt like he needed to take a break from whatever he was doing and relax.

Scott sat back on the couch and closed his eyes, focusing on the music only to have his focus broken from the front door opening.

"Scott, I'm home," Sarah announced loudly.

"I'm not our parents so you don't have to announce when you are home," he yelled back.

"OK," Sarah yelled back to mock him, "but I also brought some friends over too."

Scott got up from the couch and proceeded to walk to the front of the house. "Does mom and dad know...you could have just told me Steve and Liz are here as well," he said hating the fact that his little sister loved to mess with him.

"But then life wouldn't be as much fun then would it?" Sarah said with a big smile on her face. She left the three of them and went to her room.

"So was one day at school without me a dream come true?" Scott asked sarcastically.

Steve put a finger to his lip in mocking deep thought. "I wouldn't say a dream come true."

"Maybe more like Heaven," Liz added.

"As I thought, no one truly missed me," Scott continued the sarcasm.

Steve and Liz both looked at each other before looking back at Scott. "Well, Katie did miss you."

Whatever happy mood Scott was finally starting to have was immediately removed when Katie's name was brought up. "Did either of you two talk to her today?"

"Liz actually invited her out to lunch with us."

Scott looked over at Liz in disbelief. "That was...nice of you."

"She and I have kinda sorta become friends after the football game last week."

"So that is where you went after the game," Steve said. "Would have been nice if you told me."

"Hey, you said you were going to Derek's house to play video games. She just gave me a ride home and we had ice cream together and well," Liz slowly turned her head to face Scott, "talked about you."

Scott felt like everyone had been talking about him the past few days but no one had the courage to actually talk to HIM. "And what did you two say about me?"

"Let's sit down on the couch and talk about this," Liz suggested. All three of them went into the family room and sat on the couch. "So it is not what we said about you but how we both figured that Alyssa would eventually leave you because she doesn't stick to any guy for more than a month."

Scott's eyes went wide. "Wait, so you both knew that Alyssa wasn't actually interested in me."

"Yes," Liz admitted, "we both knew and we should have told you, but I don't think you would have listened if Katie told you."

Scott couldn't deny the truth in that statement. "I probably wouldn't have believed her, but I would have believed you. You should have told me Friday night."

"You seemed so excited and I didn't want to just bring you down like that. Plus I didn't think she would just lay the friends with benefits bomb on you like that so soon."

Scott looked at Steve. "Did you know about of any of this?"

Steve shook his head. "I knew she had been with a few guys, but I didn't know she was more into temporary friends with benefits."

Scott knew Steve would always tell him the truth, no matter how brutal or hurtful it was. Steve was always there to help Scott figure out what was socially acceptable topics of conversation and what to avoid talking about with a group of people. Most times if Scott couldn't figure out if something would be a good topic to bring up he just wouldn't bring it up and possibly save himself from embarrassment. However when it was just Steve and Liz, they would let him bring up any topic and help engage his curiosity in a healthy way.

"So how was lunch with Katie?" Scott asked wanting to change the subject.

"It went very well I would say," Liz said confidently. "She did ask if we knew why you weren't in school and we just said you needed a day to come grips with the Alyssa situation."

While Scott appreciated them covering for him with Katie, he felt like she was deserving of the truth. "Next time you can tell her the truth."

Steve and Liz looked at each confused before turning back to Scott. "Are you sure?" Liz asked.

Scott nodded his head. "Yes, she should know."

Steve wanted to make sure Scott knew what he was saying. "You do realize she will ask more about autistic burnouts and if she has ever caused one for you."

Scott took a deep breath, knowing where Steve was coming from. "Yes, I do and if she and I want to develop our friendship and strengthen it, she needs to know the truth about everything."

"Everything?" Liz asked in shock.

"That is a very dangerous rabbit hole to go down Scott," Steve warned, "and once you start going down there is no going back up."

"I know," Scott admitted. "But..."

"But what?" Liz and Steve asked as the same time.

Scott thought long and hard before deciding to come clean. "I think I like Katie as more than a friend."

"About time you admitted it to yourself," Sarah said walking into the family room.

"Not today Sarah," Scott said annoyed.

"Yes today because I've known it since our double date, but you just refused to admit it yourself," Sarah said sitting down in a chair adjacent to the couch.

"You're wrong Sarah," Scott said tired from his sister constantly pointing it out.

"And how am I wrong?"

"I knew after the double date that I was starting to fall for her."

"Then why did you let things happen with Alyssa and not pursue Katie?"

Tired of all the questions, Scott decided to just put everything to rest. "Because I still can't forgive her for who she was and I'm afraid of throwing that in her face if she and I get into an argument. I can't trust myself to hold back if I get pushed too far."

"Scott, just talk with her..." Scott turned to face his sister with a look that told her to drop it and Sarah immediately closed her mouth. He kept the stare going until Sarah looked away and that told Scott the message had been understood.

*****************************************************

Katie pulled up to school, still unsure if she really wanted to be there. While the weather had been warm in the previous weeks, it was now the end of October and turning cold. It didn't help matters that it was raining to add to her dreary mood.

She got out of the car with her raincoat on, slowly walking through the front doors. When she got to her locker she put away her dripping wet rain jacket and got what she needed for her first class. As she closed her locker someone tapped her on the shoulder. She closed her eyes, wondering who would bother her before her first class. As she turned in the direction of the shoulder tap and opened her eyes a smile formed on her face.

"Did you miss me?" Scott asked with a smile that didn't seem all that happy.

Without hesitating Katie wrapped her arms Scott in a tight hug that she didn't want to let go of, her head pressed against his chest. "Of course I missed you idiot."

Scott wrapped his arms around Katie and gave her a light kiss on the top of her head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say that Scott," Katie said squeezing her hug even tighter. "You have nothing to be sorry about."

"But I do and if you give me the chance, I will explain why."

Katie rolled eyes as she looked up at Scott and saw the seriousness in his eyes. His eyes looked back at hers, pleading with her to listen to him. "OK," she said with a slight nod of her head.

"Do you have to be anywhere after school?"

"Other than home which I'd rather not do."

"Things with your mom still pretty bad?" Katie didn't answer, but instead placed her head on Scott's chest again. "Well, how about you come to my car after school is over. You can vent about your mom to me and I will tell you the truth about why I'm been treating you the way I have been."

Katie looked up at Scott again, excited about the idea. "Sounds perfect."

With that said she reluctantly let go of Scott and headed towards her first class. She looked over her shoulder to still see Scott standing, watching her as she walked away. That made her smile and she couldn't wait until school was done with for the day.

Lunch couldn't come soon enough for both of them as they were all smiles when they sat down with each other at their designated table. What was once a punishment for both of them seemed more like a blessing as the two of them could just talk with each other without anyone bothering them. As sad as they were, once lunch had ended they both knew after their next class they would be sitting next to each other in English class.

They rushed over to the room for English class once their previous class was over with. They wasted no time getting to their desks and sitting next to each other. Throughout the class Scott would do some sort of funny face that would cause Katie to quietly laugh, even though she struggled to keep it quiet. They made sure to not draw too much attention to themselves as they didn't want Miss Bird to call them out in front of everyone.