"Well, James, I think the evening went very well," Lady Berwick said to her husband as she climbed into bed. "Did you see Charles and Catherine together? Don't they go well together?"
"Yes, they do but we thought that they always went well together," he said settling in on his side.
"Yes we did," Elizabeth said. "I've always wondered what happened between them."
"We'll never know." He turned to her. "I have to tell you something very important, Lizzy. It can't wait."
"What is it, James? You haven't called me Lizzy in such a long time."
"I'm afraid I have misjudged our son."
"James?"
"No. Charles. There is much more to him that I thought. He may more deserving to be my heir than James. He has shown to be strong and he seems to understand what it all means. The responsibility, the meaning, the burden that goes with a title. And that leaves me to fear the worst."
Lizzy sat upright in the bed. "What can you mean? Fear the worst?"
Lord Berwick got out of bed and began to pace. "William joined because he felt it was his duty. He was unsuited for his rank but he took it because he had to. He shouldn't have gone."
"I don't understand. What is this about?"
"William was killed because he didn't know what he was doing and like so many thousands of others, he died."
"Why are you bringing this up now? He's been gone for almost 2 years now. Why now?" She began to wring her hands. "Why are you upsetting me?"
"Because of Charles." He stopped pacing and faced her. "I don't mean to upset you but we must face facts. Charles joined because it was the right thing, not because he had to. He is a natural leader. You heard the story James told us. He'll put himself in danger because it is the right thing to do. He doesn't think if it is the right thing, he does the right thing, regards of the cost. Look at James. There is calculation in his every move. William was the same way. "
"And you think that we should expect the worse?"
"More than anything, my dear."
Lizzy was now the strong one and she patted the bed. "Come back to bed. Between the two of us, we'll get through this together."
Deep down inside they knew that this war was slowly destroying their family and their life.
Charles walked Catherine to the foot of the stairs. There he said good night and watched her ascend the stairs. She was so beautiful. He then headed outside to think. Yesterday his life was unburdened with difficult issues. He lived from moment to moment, day to day. He came home and found Kathleen here. Then tonight he was reunited with Catherine and she confessed her love to him. He believed he truly loved Kathleen but he also understood what Patricia said at dinner about needing a male heir. His family would never accept him marrying Kathleen; a son from that marriage wouldn't be considered a suitable heir. He promised Kathleen he would talk to her before he left. He headed for her room.
He went up the backstairs to the servants' sleeping quarters. He knew because of the reduced staff Kathleen would have her own room. He knew which door to knock on.
"Kathleen," he whispered.
"Go away" came the answer.
"Please, let me in," he begged.
The door opened. Kathleen stood before him in her gown, loosely tied. "Come in and be quiet."
Charles entered and she shut the door. Before he could speak, Kathleen said, "I saw you kissing Catherine. I understand. She is a beautiful woman and you were planned for each other. You and I, it would never work. Your family would never allow it. So leave now. I don't want to cause a scandal."
"I don't care about any scandal."
"But I do," Kathleen retorted. "It would ruin any chance of happiness for us, even for Catherine, your family."
Charles turned and began to pace. Kathleen sat on the bed, waiting for him to speak. He stopped in front of her and sank to his knees."I never said I loved her. It is you I love."
"Be sensible," she said cupping his face in her hands. "It can never work. Catherine and you live in the same world. You and I are worlds apart. I know you love me." She took one of his hands and placed it on her heart. "I will always have you here."
He stood up and kissed her, a warm, passionate, loving kiss.
Kathleen reached down to the hem of her gown. Grabbing it, she pulled it over head and stood before him, naked. She lay back on the bed, inviting him to take her.
Charles sucked in his breath. She laid naked before him, offering herself to him. Her white breasts, smooth skin, the flaring of her hips were before him. But more than that she was giving him herself, without ties or limits. God, how he wanted her.
A different man wouldn't have hesitated. A different man would have taken what she offered with pleasure, without pause. Instead Charles took the bed sheet and pulled it up, covering her. She gave him a puzzled look.
"I'll not have you this way," he said quietly. "Though God knows I want to. When I have you, it will be in a proper way, as man and wife, not before. I'll not cheapen our love." He kissed her forehead. "Good night, Love."
As he walked down the hallway, he felt better. The problem had not gone away. As a matter of fact, it may have gotten worse but he felt an inner calmness in himself. A feeling he hadn't had in quite some time.
Next morning he was up early. He dressed in his uniform. He found it cleaned and pressed and he smiled as he wondered who on the staff did it. He looked in the mirror and admitted that these few days at Stanhope had added some color to his cheeks.
