Love Born in Florence

This second chapter does not stand alone, so please read chapter 1 first.

To those who know sorrow

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A week later, I got a text from Paige.

I'm back home in Connecticut for a few days, missing you.

I answered her immediately.

I love you, Paige. I miss you, too.

For the remaining weeks, as each of us prepared for the start of law school, we talked often on the phone and texted every day.

Then law school happened and our contacts slowed and became sporadic.

By early December, with finals looming, Paige had not answered two recent texts.

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I went home to Spokane, but was thinking of Paige. Soon I was starting the second semester and new classes. Still no word from Paige. My heart ached. I tried several times to call, but my calls went to voice mail. I only left one message.

One night as I was studying, my phone rang. It was Paige!

"Hi, Paige. How are you?"

"Crazy busy. You?"

"No rest it seems, but this semester seems easier."

"Logan, I know I owe you replies to several texts and a phone message. I haven't known what to say. I've met someone I love and he's asked me to marry him."

"And you accepted."

"Yes. I haven't had the heart to hurt you."

"When are you getting married?"

"Sometime this summer. We haven't picked a date."

"Is he another law student?"

"Yeah. From Virginia."

"I wish you all the best Paige."

We were both crying, but I had to get off the phone.

"Bye." I hung up and cried.

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I had not dated after my return from Europe, but now I realized I needed to put Paige in the past, regardless of my feelings for her.

I tried dating, but my heart wasn't in it. Finally, near the end of the semester, I met Jessica Hansen, a cute fellow law student. We dated twice before finals, but I went home to Spokane and she was headed for Portland.

On our last date, we kissed. Paige was finally and firmly in my past. At least I thought so.

We talked and texted over the summer, but she was clerking for a law firm in Portland and I was clerking for a law firm in Spokane, so we weren't really able to get away.

When the second year of law school started, Jessica and I didn't seem to feel the same attraction and mutually agreed our romance had reached an end.

In November, I noticed a cute girl who was in the first year class. I met her in a hallway one day and introduced myself. Her name was Amanda Cardon, from Walla Walla. I asked her out for a typical student date--ice cream at the student building, but we hit it off right away.

Amanda was cute, blond hair like Paige's, but longer. Blue eyes and a beautiful smile. By our second date I was smitten. On the next date we kissed, and after that we kissed a lot.

Suddenly it was time for finals and heading home for Christmas. I told Amanda I would try to drive down to see her, less than a three-hour drive.

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I had been home a few days--it was December 22nd--when my phone rang. It was about 8 am, and it woke me up.

I saw on the caller ID it was Paige.

"Hello?"

"Logan? It's Paige."

She was crying.

"What's wrong?"

"I broke up with Matt a few months ago."

"What happened? I thought you were married by now."

"I thought we would be. I also realized how much I missed you. I kept comparing him to you."

She was sobbing. I didn't know what to say.

"Where are you calling from?"

"Florence."

"What are you doing there?"

"I've been so unhappy. I found a seat on a flight to Milan and then took a train to Florence."

"Why there?"

"Because it was such a happy place for us. That's where we met. I'm at Piazzale Michelangelo, standing where we first kissed."

"That was a wonderful moment, wasn't it?"

"Logan, if I flew to Spokane, could I see you?"

"Paige,..."

"Oh, I should have asked. Are you seeing someone? I don't want to..."

"No, I mean yes, but I've only gone out with her a couple of times. It's not that. Why do you want to see me? You ended things with me a year ago."

She was crying, and it took a few seconds for her to answer.

"It was a huge mistake. I realized every day I spent with you was a happier day than I had with Matt. May I please come and see you?"

"You want to leave Florence and fly here? Can you even get a ticket?"

"I checked before I called. I can be there tomorrow night."

"I can't promise you anything."

"I know. I get it. I'm asking a lot."

"My parents have a spare bedroom--I'm the youngest in the family and everyone else has gotten married. I'm sure they'd love to have you stay here."

"They'd love it? Would you?"

"I'd like to see you again, yes."

No way was I going to open my heart so soon only to be hurt again!

"I'll be there at about 7 pm tomorrow, on Delta."

"I'll be there to meet you, Paige."

"Thanks. Logan, for what it's worth, I still love you."

I honestly had no idea how I felt about this. It wasn't about Amanda at all. It was about how hurt I still felt. I wasn't sure but what that cloud might make a full reconciliation difficult.

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At a few minutes before 7 pm the next night, I arrived at the airport. I was waiting outside the secure area when Paige walked through with only her backpack, the same one I remembered from our trip 18 months before.

When she saw me she ran to me and I held her in my arms.

"How are you, Paige?"

"Logan... can we sit down somewhere and talk?"

I walked toward some chairs and sat.

"Do you hate me?"

"No, not at all."

"But you don't know whether you can love me again."

"I don't know whether the issue is love. I've never stopped loving you. I don't know whether I can trust you with my heart again."

She was crying.

"Logan, I can't expect you to yet, but I'd like to have a chance to earn your trust again."

"I think I owe you that. Honestly, I'm hoping you can. Tell me what happened."

"I met Matt about two months into law school. I wasn't looking for a relationship, but it was nice to have someone to go to a show or go dancing. I felt guilty though, because of you. Then he just swept me off my feet. He was charming, romantic, treated me wonderfully. Just like you did."

"But I was too far away."

"That was a big part of it, I think. No excuses, though. He proposed to me over Christmas and I accepted."

"I remember that part."

"Yeah. I was crying through that whole phone call. That should have told me something."

"So what happened?"

"For the next two months, all was good. Then he talked me into moving in with him. We could save money for the wedding, he said. From then on he worked to cut me off from friends. He got mad if anyone called and I definitely couldn't call anyone. In order to keep peace I had to give up connections with everyone."

"Why did you stay?"

"That's hard to explain. I had sacrificed my love for you, so Matt had to matter. I know how stupid that sounds, but in my screwed up thinking at that point, it made sense. Stay with Matt because it already cost so much."

"But you left."

"I did. Finally. Just after Fall semester started. I withdrew from school, grabbed my things and ran."

"You left law school?"

"I had to leave. I couldn't ever see him again."

"Come on, Paige, let's get home so you can get some sleep. We can talk more tomorrow."

As I drove home, Paige asked to hold my hand. That's how she fell asleep in the car.

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The next morning, I knocked on her door to make sure she was awake. She opened the door and kissed me.

A few minutes later, we walked downstairs together.

"Mom, this is Paige, the girl I fell in love with in Europe."

"Paige, this is my mother, Elaine."

They hugged. Mom's that way. She also fixed us a big breakfast.

Dad wandered in for breakfast.

"Paige, this is my dad, Roger."

Dad hugged her and welcomed her to our home.

Paige and I went into the living room and sat on the sofa to continue talking.

"Paige, you said you left law school."

"I did. I knew I had to get away from Matt. I had read about how abusive spouses begin by controlling the other's life and cutting off all other friends. I realized we were on that path, because he criticized me and belittled me about everything. Stupidly, I thought it was my fault and I needed to try harder. Classic battered spouse syndrome, although we never married."

"Contacting me would have caused you trouble."

"Contacting anyone, but the worst was yet to come."

That's when she started crying. Almost sobbing.

I reached for her and pulled her next to me, with my arm around her.

"Logan, this part is so hard to tell. I knew I needed to leave, but one night he wanted sex."

More crying. I was still holding her tightly. I kissed her forehead.

"I told him I was tired, but he insisted. I kept saying no."

Another long pause while she cried.

"Then he grabbed me and forced me to have sex."

"He raped you?"

"Oh, Logan, how can you ever love me again?"

I was stunned by Paige's revelation that her scumbag fiancée had raped her when she tried to refuse sex. Then she asked that painful question: Could I ever love her again?

I had approached this visit by Paige by wanting to carefully preserve distance for now. That changed immediately.

"Did you report him?"

"No, school had just started again and I went into the Dean's office and told my story to an assistant dean, Ron Hamilton. He was wonderful. He helped me withdraw, urged me to file a complaint with the police, but I refused. I knew it would be his word against mine and I was living with him. Ron asked me to go into an empty office and write out a report for him.

"He called me the next week and said he had interviewed Matt, who denied everything, of course. Ron told Matt he believed every word of what I wrote, and that Matt was never to contact me again. He said if he got another report about such abusive behavior he would have him kicked out of law school."

"Bravo for him! He was a hero for you, wasn't he?"

"Ron was great. He encouraged me to transfer, although he didn't want Georgetown to lose me as a law student."

"Did you go home to Connecticut?"

"Yeah, and Dad got me in to see a counselor who was so good. One day she asked me when in my life I had been happiest, and I described our trip together. She encouraged me to call you, but I couldn't. I knew you'd be angry with me."

"I wasn't angry, Paige, just hurt."

She was crying and turned and hugged me.

"How did you end up in Florence?"

"I talked to Dad and told him about my session with the counselor and about seeing Florence and Austria with you. He also encouraged me to call you. When I refused, he said he was buying me a ticket to fly to Florence. He said it would help me focus on the source of my happy time there."

"Did it?"

She laughed. "I suppose you'll hate me more if I tell you I had a Bistecca Fiorentino."

"I'm truly jealous, but I wish you'd stop thinking there is even a speck of hate in my heart."

In truth, I hurt inside for what she had gone through.

"That's how I ended up on Piazzale Michelangelo, and when I found the spot where we stood, I knew I had to call."

"I'm glad you did. Would you go to dinner with me tonight?"

"Logan, I don't want to overstay my welcome. You and your parents have been so nice to allow me to spend the night, but you probably have family coming for Christmas."

"No one is coming this year, except you. Will you stay here for Christmas if I ask you?"

"Yes."

"Then I'm asking, but I need to ask one more thing. Will you kiss me?"

Paige started crying again. Her head was on my chest, and her arms held me tightly.

"Ok, you don't have to kiss me."

She lifted up her head and laughed through her tears.

We kissed the way we kissed in Europe, as two people in love.

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That night over a dinner at a Thai restaurant, we set aside her woes with Matt and reminisced about things we had done and seen together. We laughed a lot. As we walked out, holding hands, I opened the car door for her and then got in to drive.

"Wait a minute. This has been a lot of fun tonight. I feel happier than I've felt since our last night in Vienna. Is there any chance you can love me again?"

"You silly girl! I've been thinking all evening about how happy I feel being with you again. I love you. I was hurt when you left me, but that doesn't matter now. You're back. At least, I think you are. I hope you are."

"I want to be back. That's all I want is your love again."

We kissed for a long time. It was winter, so the windows fogged up. We could have stripped down and had sex. No one would have seen.

As we drove home, my thoughts turned to practical issues.

"Do you plan to transfer to another law school?"

"I held off making a decision until I knew whether we have a future. I think I'd like to remain near you. Is that a problem for you?"

"Quite the opposite. I was hoping you'd come here. Paige, I don't want you distant again."

"I'll accept your offer of allowing me to stay through Christmas, but then I'm going home. I'll work out the application to UW and the transfer issues from there. Then maybe I could come here and spend the summer with you, if your parents are ok with that."

"That's a great plan. I'll miss you a lot this next semester, but we have something to look forward to. I can look for a place for you to live in Seattle, near the university."

"I do love you, Logan. I never stopped loving you. I just got temporarily derailed, but I want to be back."

"I never thought I'd see you again. Oh! I need to end things with Amanda."

"Would you do me a favor? Please don't break things off at Christmas. Tell her when you get back to school."

"That's nice of you."

"There's been enough hurt. She doesn't deserve this at Christmas."

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Paige wanted to go Christmas shopping on the 24th, and so did I. I took her to River Park Square, because it was indoors and there was a light snow falling outside. We shopped together for something for my parents, and then I suggested we shop separately for a little while and meet again in an hour.

When we met again, she wanted me to come to a jewelry store so she would know my ring size. Mine is 9.5 and hers is 6.

"Just so you know, Paige, I still have my magic decoder ring I got when I was 7, so don't go buying me another."

She stopped in her tracks and, with a wonderful poker face, said, "I'll be right back. I need to exchange this decoder ring for something else."

Off she went, but she was back in 15 minutes.

"More modern decoder?"

"Computerized. It'll break Enigma."

I hugged her as we walked. I also snuck a peak at her face. Happiness was all I saw.

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Christmas morning, we followed our long-standing family tradition and came out in our pajamas and robes. We sang

Joy to the World,

although not well. I played the piano, so we at least had the right notes.

"You know, that's the first time I've heard you play."

"There weren't a lot of pianos in the hostels, were there?"

"Will you play for me later today?"

"I'd like that."

We began opening presents. Our family rule was smallest present to largest. One of the smallest was my gift to Paige.

She opened it carefully.

"Just rip the paper, so Mom won't try to save it!"

She opened it and held up a necklace with a heart pendant. She turned it over and read to herself what the store had engraved for me: "Vienna, July 18, 2012."

That was our last night together, when we made love for the first time.

Paige was crying as she hugged me. "Thank you so much for this. I love you."

The next gift happened to be a gift from Paige to me. I ripped the paper to shreds as my father applauded. There was a small box inside. I opened it and found a ring, made of white gold. Simple design, but beautiful.

"It's also engraved."

I looked. "7/18/2012."

I looked at her and we both started laughing. Clearly the parents needed an explanation.

"Paige and I met in Florence, and from then on we traveled together. The 18th of July was my last day in Europe, so that night, Paige and I made love for the first time. Each of us had that date engraved on our gifts to each other."

"Ours was 7/25/1989."

Mom and Dad hugged. I was afraid they might do more!

"Paige leaned over and whispered, "If you and I marry, I bought that to be your wedding ring as well."

A few packages later and there was another present to me from Paige. It was a framed copy of the selfie she took of us the night we first kissed. At the bottom: "Piazza Michelangelo, Florence."

"This was about 48 hours after we met at the hostel, and when we kissed for the first time."

Finally we got to the biggest present, to my parents from Paige and me. It was a large crystal punch bowl and ladle. I knew to get them that because I broke one when I was 10 and they never replaced it.

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Later, Paige and I bundled up and went for a walk. There was no wind and it had stopped snowing. Hardly any snow had accumulated, and none of it on streets or sidewalks.

I held her gloved hand in mine.

"You bought me a wedding ring. Are you planning to propose."

She laughed. "First, I'm a traditional girl and want my Prince Charming to do the proposing, and properly. Second, it's too soon. You don't have confidence in me again, yet."

I started to object, but she stopped me. "The most you can have is a hope. I plan to convince you between now and this summer."

We walked back home and I played for her. I was relying mostly on memory. Fairly simple things, although I dug out the sheet music for Beethoven's Pathétique Sonata.

Paige stood behind me, her hand on my shoulder. When I finished she kissed my cheek, and I turned and saw tears.

"Logan, I had no idea how talented you are. Now I see why you started out in piano performance at UW."

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"If I buy your plane ticket, could you come to Connecticut and see me for a four-day weekend?"

"Can you afford that?"

"This is probably a great time to tell you my parents represent old money. My mother was an only child of an only child and her grandfather founded an insurance company that he later sold, in 1960, for $50 million. That's like about $550 million today, only their investment growth has been higher than that. I'm not sure what my mother's net worth is, but I suspect it's closer to $700 million. When my grandfather died, he left me $1 million.

"I can afford your plane ticket."

"Why were you staying in youth hostels?"

"Because I'm careful with my money, and so I could meet you. Will you come and visit?"

"Maybe I shouldn't ask but is there space for me?"

"As long as you don't want more than 1000 square feet of space for your bedroom and bath."

"I can make that work. I'd love to come and meet your parents."

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Three days later, I took Paige to the airport. We kissed goodbye, and there were tears, but we knew I would be leaving Seattle on the Thursday before President's Day and coming back on Monday night. She promised to get my ticket and send me the confirmation number.

The next day I drove to Walla Walla to take Amanda to lunch. I told her the whole history of my love for Paige. She said it was wonderfully romantic and hoped things worked out for us. She cried a little as well, but we hugged and said goodbye.

I saw Amanda at least once a week in the law school and we always stopped to chat. She asked when I was going to Connecticut and asked whether I planned to propose.