Living Next Door

An older story of mine, with a probably predictable outcome, but I don't think that diminishes it any.

---

Nearly twenty years had passed since they moved in next door. For most of that time, Melissa and I had been friends. As children, we had played and as we got older, we became each other's confidante, talking over the fence or in each other's garden or house. It wasn't as if we were alike. She grew into a beautiful 'girlie' girl whereas I, I have to admit, became a bit of a geek, but she liked to talk to me and valued my views. I was in love with Melissa by thirteen years old, but never told her. Now, ten years on, she was back from University for the summer, her studies complete. I'd not gone on to higher education. Instead, I'd gone to work for a local computer builder and repairer and had helped build up a reasonable business. She wanted to talk to me still, but I was in for a shock.

"Dougie, there's someone I want you to meet."

"Bring her round; I'll put the kettle on." She was always asking me to meet her friends, almost as if she was trying to set me up with them. It never worked; I only had eyes for Melissa. This time was different though.

"It's not a "her" this time. We'll be round in a second." A little puzzled, I opened the front door, went back to the kitchen, and boiled the kettle.

I heard the door shut and Melissa came into the kitchen, leading a tall man with a friendly smile on his face.

"Doug, this is Peter, my fiancé!"

Luckily, I had turned my back to them at that moment and neither saw the look of despair cross my face. I turned back around, shook Peter firmly by the hand, and kissed Mel.

"You kept that quiet my girl." I said. "Peter, you are a very lucky man."

"I am, I know" He replied. "Now, can I help with the kettle?"

"Never mind the kettle, news like this needs something a bit stronger." I went under the stairs and brought out a bottle of wine. Mel got some glasses out and we toasted their news. I was prepared to hate Pete, but as we talked for about an hour, I found that I liked him. He wasn't just a friendly face; he was a genuinely nice guy.

---

After they left, "To spread the news" as Mel put it, I put the wine away and found out my bottle of Jack Daniels, taking it out into the garden and sitting against the fence, our fence. I'd only had a couple of swigs when I heard a voice from the other side.

"Unrequited love eh?" It was Vanessa, Melissa's younger sister by 4 years.

"Pardon?"

"Unrequited love, it's a terrible thing."

"I suppose."

"Come on Doug, admit it to someone."

I looked into her face.

"All right, I love Melissa, but I never told her and now it's too late."

She clambered over the fence, she always had been a bit of a tomboy, and sat beside me. She took the bottle from me and took a swig.

"You've managed until now, why will her marrying make a difference?"

"Because... Because." I was stumped. "Because there was always a chance, however small, now there isn't."

"So find someone else."

"Nessie, I don't know if I can."

"Doug, pull yourself together, I hate to see you like this." She paused. "And so would Mel."

"You think?" I took the bottle back. "Anyway, what do you know about unrequited love?"

"You don't think you're the only one do you?" She looked down sadly.

I passed her the bottle back.

"Let's get drunk and start from scratch tomorrow."

"Sounds like a plan!"

---

The hangover the next day was horrendous, but I survived, apparently Nessie did too. A couple of days later she rang the doorbell.

"Hi Nessie! Come in."

"No need, this will only take a minute." She paused, drawing breath as if worried about what she was about to ask. "Can you take Mel and me to our dress fittings? Dad's having trouble with the car and wants to get it fixed."

Momentarily I was unsure, but my feelings for Melissa told me yes.

"Sure, when?"

"In about half an hour?" She looked sideways. "Mel didn't want to ask, but mom and me thought you might."

"You mean, you knew I'd say yes."

"Well, not "knew": Hoped, maybe?"

"See you in half an hour Vanessa. And tell your sister..." I stumbled, a million thoughts coming at once. "Tell her it would be an honour."

---

So, here I was, accompanying a bride and bridesmaid to their dress fittings. Melissa was the first out to look at herself in the mirror.

"What do you think Dougie?"

I just stared, open-mouthed. Finally I spoke.

"Mel, you look beautiful."

"You think? I don't know whether to believe you, you always say that."

"Believe me Mel, you've never looked better."

She twirled around.

"I must say that it feels right."

"Don't change a thing; you'll stun them all, walking up the aisle like that." At that moment, Vanessa came out of the changing room. I couldn't help myself, I gasped.

"What's the matter?" She asked, looking round.

"Nothing, nothing at all Nessie. You look... You look perfect." It was true, she had never looked better. As I said, she'd always been a tomboy. When I'd noticed her before she'd always been in torn jeans and scruffy t-shirt, but now...

Melissa looked over at her younger sibling, whom she'd barely seen for five years.

"Ness, you've finally grown up."

"And how!" I muttered.

Vanessa hummed to herself, querying our comments.

"I don't feel comfy in a posh frock."

"Nessie, you wear a dress all day in that shop where you work." Melissa admonished her.

"That's work, this is different."

I finally found my tongue again.

"Miss Vanessa, if I may say, you are in grave danger of outshining your sister on her wedding day, which would be some achievement."

Both girls looked at me and giggled.

"Doug, how come no girl has caught you?" Melissa asked.

"Just lucky, I guess." I said, trying to make light of her question. Nessie gave me a hard stare, as if she was trying to work out if I was telling the truth. What she didn't realise was that this was the first time I'd looked at her as a woman, instead of the little girl next door, or the sister of the girl I was in love with. And I was awestruck with her beauty. Immediately I was worried that I was trying to replace one sister with the other, that Mel's marriage was making me look at Nessie as a replacement. However, the fact was that Nessie looked truly stunning in that dress.

---

And now it was Melissa's big day. I'd ummed and ahhed about whether I should go. In the end, Vanessa asked me to be her escort. I questioned whether her boyfriend should go with her.

"What boyfriend?" She'd asked. "You must know I've never had a steady boyfriend."

I scratched my head; it was true I'd never seen her with anyone more than twice.

"Why not Nessie? You're very pretty."

"I told you, I'm in love with someone who doesn't know I exist."

"So why not find someone else?"

"Like you with Melissa?" She had me there.

"All right, little miss clever, I'll come with you, but only with one provision."

"And that is?"

"I sit at the back so if I can't watch I can slip out unnoticed."

"Doug, if you think anyone will be watching you..."

"They will if I suddenly run down the aisle screaming!"

"Don't be so melodramatic. If you want to sit at the back, sit at the back."

---

There I was, sitting at the back of the church watching the woman I loved marry someone else. At least that was what I thought would happen. Instead, I found myself mesmerised by Vanessa, standing behind her sister. Almost the whole service had passed before I got my attention back to the ceremony. I'd missed the bit about just impediment and the exchange of vows and now they were about to sign the register. Ashamed and confused I stumbled into the churchyard. Ashamed because I thought that losing Mel would be heartbreaking and it seemed it wasn't. Confused because of my growing feelings for Nessie. I still thought I might be trying to replace one sister with the other, and that wouldn't be fair on Vanessa.

Nessie came out and found me in the graveyard. The wedding photo's had been taken and I was sat looking out at the view from a bench. She sat down beside me.

"Nearly made it then?" She asked.

"Nearly, but it wasn't what I thought that made me leave."

"What was it then?"

"Nessie, I wish I could tell you, but I can't. I'm very confused at the moment." I reached into my pocket and pulled out the hip flask of Jack that I'd brought with me.

"You can't drink that if you're going to drive me home so I can change out of this dress for the reception."

"That's a bit against protocol isn't it? In any case, you look wonderful in the dress."

"Stuff protocol and I really don't like dresses." She smiled and stood, pulling me up with her. "Take me home please." She grinned.

"Okay, but I'm going to see your mother first." She frowned. "Just in case she gets worried."

"Mom won't worry about me today, and especially if you're with me."

"Then it won't hurt to tell her will it?"

---

I sat downstairs, idly toying with the glass of wine she'd poured me. We'd decided to walk to the reception; it was only five minutes down the road. Vanessa's mom had asked me to try to get her to wear some sort of frock, not her usual jeans and t-shirt; I'd said I'd try. Nessie came down the stairs unusually shyly. She peered around the corner of the door before inching her way into the room.

"What do you think?" She asked, twirling around in a very pretty, very simple summer dress. For a second I was dumbstruck again. "You don't like it? I'll change."

"No! No, don't. You look amazing, perfect. Don't change, please."

"Come on then, let's drown our sorrows again. This time dad's paying." She flashed me that smile again. I rose and took her hand.

"It would give me great pleasure to escort such a beauty anywhere."

She giggled.

"I love it when you talk like that, lets go."

---

The reception was well under way by the time we got there. I hadn't wanted to hurry because walking with Vanessa had been so nice. We'd swapped jokes and memories as we strolled along. I was beginning to realise that Nessie was not like her big sis at all, that I was attracted to something different in her to Mel, but still I worried. I delivered Nessie to her mother, who smiled at me, silently thanking me that her younger daughter hadn't donned her usual attire. I shrugged, hoping to convey that it was Vanessa's doing.

As the evening progressed, I danced a couple of times with Nessie, but tried to avoid Mel, unsure what to say to her. Finally, she cornered me and led me by the hand out into the garden.

"Thank you for coming, and for looking after Nessie."

"I couldn't miss your big day Mel, and despite what everyone thinks, the summer frock was Nessie's idea."

"You think?" She raised her eyebrows. "Anyway, I know how hard it was for you to be there."

"I don't think you do, Mel."

"Doug, I know. I've always known, but, try as I might, I couldn't love you other than as a brother, I'm sorry."

I looked at her, shocked. I had really thought she didn't know how I felt.

"Mel, I'm sorry too." I held her hands. "I should have said something, and then you wouldn't have had to pretend..." I faltered as her blue eyes began to water. "No, don't cry. This is supposed to be the happiest day of your life, don't let me ruin it."

"You don't hate me, or Pete?"

"I'll never be able to hate you, and Pete is one of the nicest people I've ever met. I must admit, I did try to hate him, but I can't. If he makes you happy, that's good enough for me."

"So, we can still be friends?"

"Dear Melissa, we'll always be friends, nothing you can say will stop me loving you. If that's too much for you or Pete, say now, and I'll stay away."

"No, you don't need too. I told Pete everything about you, and he likes you too. Please, stay in contact with us. I still value your views."

"Well, if you're sure?"

"She is, and I happen to agree." Pete came up behind us. "Doug, I know this has been difficult, but I can tell you are a man of honour, and I'm happy for you and Mel to be able to talk, you are her oldest friend after all, and I'd like to talk with you too. Maybe you can fill me in on some of her secrets." He laughed. "Come on, let's have a drink."

"One last thing. I'll tell you both, but no one else is to know." I drew breath, knowing I couldn't tell the whole truth. "I'm ashamed to say, I think I might be in love with someone else now, sorry Mel."

She laughed.

"That sounds wonderful, who is it, and do I know her?"

"I'd rather not say yet, but you do know her."

"Another reason for a drink! Come on."

---

So now, Christmas was upon us. Mel and Pete had been married for six months. I'd been over to see them about three times in their new home. Each time Nessie had begged a lift. I was happy to oblige. Any time I spent in her company was time I enjoyed. She always seemed to dress up for the occasion, putting on a dress or skirt rather than her habitual jeans. She could have worn a Donkey Jacket and dungarees and I would have still enjoyed her company, but I didn't think it was for me, I thought it was to show her elder sister that she had grown up. However, this close to the festive season Vanessa was working some serious overtime and I was visiting alone for the first time. The computer repairs, the part of the business I was mostly concerned with, had slowed a bit, but was bound to pick up when people wired their new presents up wrong, or deleted something vital, my busy period was ahead. Pete greeted me at the door like an old friend, and to be truthful, I did feel that I'd known him for ages. His first question was, as always, did I intend to drive back tonight, or did I want a drink. Without Nessie, I was inclined to accept the offer of a bed and a drink for a change. This pleased him enormously.

"Great! I'll go and air the spare room, get Mel to pour you a J.D."

I went into the lounge, where Mel was already pouring out a Jack Daniels for me. I handed over the presents I had brought, not just from me, but my parents, her parents and Nessie. She fussed over them, adding them to a small collection.

"Can you take these back in return?" She asked, indicating a pair of bags bulging with wrapped parcels.

"No problem, that was the idea of me coming down."

"I'm sorry Vanessa couldn't come. I like to keep in touch with her."

"Perils of shop work I suppose, especially this time of year." I paused. "In a way, I'm glad she couldn't come, it means I can talk to you and Pete about something."

"Douglas, you intrigue me, please continue!"

"Yes indeed, do tell!" Pete said, coming into the room.

"Well, I need some advice."

"About Nessie?" Mel asked, innocently.

"Yes." I said, and then realised what she'd said. "How did you know that?"

Pete clapped me round the shoulder.

"Even a rugby player like me could work that one out mate, simple observation."

"You mean, you knew?"

"Dougie, I worked that out at the wedding. You were the only one not looking at me." She frowned. "It was very disconcerting for a girl to find that the boy who apparently loved her as much as her new husband spent almost the whole day staring at her sister." They both grinned. I was dumbstruck.

Pete spoke quietly.

"Don't ask me how she managed to see what was happening behind her old boy. Just accept it."

"I ... I do. My problem is..." I stumbled over the words. "My logic tells me that I'm trying to replace Mel with Nessie, but ...But it doesn't feel like that."

Melissa leaned forward and topped up my glass.

"I can't tell you what to do, or clarify your feelings, but I can give you some additional info."

I perked up a little.

"Yes?"

"You think Nessie is in love with someone?"

"That's what she told me, unrequited love; someone who doesn't know she exists was what she said."

"I can tell you who she loves."

"Who?"

"You, you fool. Why do you think she dresses up when you take her anywhere? Won't she drop everything when you ask her if she's free? I've known it as long as I've known about your feelings for me. I've seen her watching you, following you, just as you did with me."

Suddenly I felt ashamed.

"Mel, I'm sorry. I never ..." I tailed off.

"Doug, I'm telling you. She loves you."

"But what if I'm wrong and I am trying to replace you with her?"

Pete sat beside me.

"Douglas, I know I barely know you, but it seems to me you've created a huge dilemma for yourself. 'What if' this and 'what if' that. What you must ask yourself now is, if I can't trust my own judgement, whose can I trust?"

I nodded, his words seemed sensible.

"I need to talk to my Mom, and Mel's Mom too, I think."

"Well I know mom will be asleep by now, so that will have to wait Dougie dear, go to bed, and sleep on it."

---

I did sleep on it, and knew that I needed to talk to someone more experienced: Some mothers in fact. It wasn't too hard to get the two of them together. Neighbours for more than twenty years, they loved to talk, and here was one of their favourite topics asking them for advice.

"Mom, you know about how I felt about Melissa?"

"Yes dear, we all did."

I was about to ask why no one had said anything to me but let it pass.

"Well, since the wedding, before the wedding actually, I've begun to feel the same way about Vanessa."

"And your problem is?" Nessie's mom asked.

"The problem is, logic tells me that I'm replacing Mel with Nessie, and she deserves better than that."

"Son, you have always thought with your head. Now would be a good time to think with your heart."

Mel's mom nodded in agreement.

"Douglas, for many years now I have watched Vanessa watching you watching Melissa. I thought it was a little complicated, but now it seems that the only complications are you and Nessie. Tell her what you feel and let her decide."

I looked at the two women I had gone to for advice for so long and nodded.

"All right, but the moment has to be right." My mother muttered something I didn't quite catch, but it sounded like 'just ask her'. "I'll speak to her at the New Years Party."

The girl's mother grinned.

"Oh good, I like fireworks on New Years Eve."

---

All our friends were at the party, including Mel and Pete; everyone was enjoying themselves, except me and Nessie. We were both trying to deal with our demons. It was after eleven that I plucked up the courage to ask her if I could have a word. Again, she was wearing a dress: it was a beautiful tight-fitting black dress that wasn't best suited for a talk in the garden in the middle of winter. I draped my jacket around her shoulders, as we leant on the dividing fence between our homes.

"Nessie, there is something I have to ask you."

"Oh yes?"

"More than one thing actually." I was beginning to wish I'd drank a little less, but then I may never have asked her into the garden..

"Doug, its cold, what are you trying to say?"

"Nessie, it has been brought to my attention that I have been a prize pillock, and can't see what is happening in front of me."

"Dougie, get to the point, I'm freezing out here."

"Miss Vanessa, I realise that I love you. I thought I might be trying to replace your sister with you, but I'm not. I love you for yourself."

"Doug...I don't know..." She faltered. "I don't know what to say. I've been in love with you for so long without you knowing." She began to cry.

"No, don't Nessie. It was me who wasn't looking, not you. It came to me in the dress shop, when I saw the two of you together. Melissa looked beautiful, but you were even more so. That isn't supposed to happen to a bride. And the reason I left the church, that was you. I was confused about who I was in love with."

She shook her head defiantly, tears pouring down her face.