Sorry for the delay, I got the Covid again. That shit sucks, trust me. Okay, I'm man enough to admit when something doesn't work, and this idea didn't work. If you're still reading this, thank you, you won't be disappointed going forward. I'm scrapping the weekly shorties as they are a pain to do, and no one liked that format. I'm sticking to the outline I've got and I'm just gonna write a few longer stories to tell their tale. Those take longer to write, so it may be another week before the first one is ready, but they will come with shorter intervals to completion. Thanks for your feedback. They may be my ramblings, but without you reading them, I'd just be rambling to myself. -- BH
***Melanie***
It was the worst three weeks of my life. Joe avoided me, Keri was pissed at me, Lainey didn't return any of my calls, and my parents told me I had to grow up. The closest I got to normal treatment was my mom feeling bad for not saying goodbye before I left after Thanksgiving.
It was Winter break. Keri flew home a week before, and I didn't know if Joe stayed or went home. He spoke to me once after we got off the airplane, and that was to tell me he thought we should take a break from each other as we dealt with our end of quarter exams. Those were taken two weeks ago, and I hadn't heard from him.
I was afraid to reach out to him because I didn't want to hear that he didn't want me anymore. I was like Schrodinger's cat. As long as he didn't tell me we were done, I was still his girlfriend. It was similar with my parents. I hadn't spoken to them and didn't tell them that I was staying at school for Christmas. Mom called once when Keri got home and she realized I didn't go with her, but I didn't return the call.
I wore comfy jammies and hadn't showered in two days as I watched the marathon of Hallmark Christmas movies. I cried so many tears, I didn't think I had any left, but I was such an emotional wreck, every movie made me cry.
It was December 23rd, and I was alone. I was alone at Christmas for the first time ever and it sucked. It sucked, but I didn't deserve anything better. I was living in a hell of my own design, and I had to suck it up. I had to grow up and I knew it.
I had a discussion with Keri when we got back that hurt, but I needed to hear it. She didn't hold back when she told me that sometimes I did act like a bitch to people. She told me that I did try to control all of my relationships, including with my friends and family. The worst was when she told me that some of my friends were only staying friends with me because I knew Kinsey Greer. That broke me and I wasn't the same since.
She told me that it was when Lainey started dating Ken that I changed. I could hardly believe it, yet it made perfect sense when thought about it. My head got so big because I knew a movie star, I was surprised my head fit through the door. I decided at that moment that I needed a factory reset. I had to go back to my original programming and become the woman I needed to be. So what, I knew Kinsey Greer and Jim Steele. That didn't make me more special than anyone else. Keri didn't let it change her, why did I?
I was looking at a self-help website when my mom called. I decided to bite the bullet and have the conversation I avoided since Keri went home.
"Hello, Mom."
"Hi, Mel. You need to let us know when you're flight comes in so your father can pick you up."
No small talk. Straight to the point. I knew I made the right decision not going home.
"I'm fine, thanks. I did pretty well on my exams, all things considered."
"Sorry, how are you doing?"
"Doesn't really matter, does it, Mom?"
"Mel, don't be like that. You know..."
"Anyway," I interrupted. "Dad doesn't need to pick me up. I'm not going home for Christmas."
"What?" she shouted. "Don't kid around, baby."
"Yeah. It's no joke. After the Thanksgiving cluster fark, no one wants to see me anyway. It's better that I just stay here."
"Melanie Evans, that is not acceptable. You're going to..."
"No, Mom, I'm not. I'm not going to sit in a room of people that are so pissed at me they haven't called me or returned my call since I went back to school. You said what time I was leaving slipped your mind last time, but that's emblematic of the situation. People are too upset with me, so I'm playing the martyr and will save everyone the discomfort of me being in their presence and ruining their holiday."
"That's ridiculous. No one is so upset with you that we don't want to see you on Christmas."
"I'm sorry, Mom. It's my penance to bear. Maybe by spring break, I'll be back to my old self and the damage I did to the family will have blown over. I love you and Dad. Merry Christmas."
I ended the call and turned my phone off.
*****
I woke on Christmas Eve and looked out my window. There was no snow. Of course, I knew there wouldn't be snow in California, where I lived, but it still depressed me; I loved white Christmases. I looked at the weather app on my phone and switched to my hometown's weather. It was going to begin snowing as seven in the evening and continue until three in the morning Christmas day. I sighed and a lone tear fell down my cheek.
Later, I ate a bagel for breakfast and thought about the large breakfast my family would have had at Ken and Lainey's. Mom and Dad would have arrived at eight and Mom would've hurried to make her special scrambled eggs while Lainey would bake the cinnamon rolls. I could imagine the kids helping to spread the icing on them and making a mess. His sister and her wife would encourage the kids to make a bigger one and laugh the entire time.
I plopped down on the couch and turned on another sappy Christmas movie. Lacey Chabert was not convincing as businesswoman, and it was distracting throughout the movie when she tried to be. When the movie ended I made a bowl of soup and found that I didn't have an appetite. I looked at my phone which was still off and sitting on the table and sighed when I turned it on.
As expected, there were several messages from my parents, each telling me I needed to come home, but I was surprised to see one from Lainey.
"Hey, Mel, it's me. Mom says you're not coming home because we don't want you there. That's not true. We want you there. I want you there. I'm sorry you feel like that. Give me a call and I hope you get on plane and come home soon. I, uh...well, just come home. Merry Christmas."
I didn't want to bother them during the party, so I texted her. "Got your message. Not coming home. Merry Christmas."
I turned the phone off and curled up on the couch in front of the lonely TV. Candace Cameron-Bure and Holly Robinson-Peete would be our only company.
***Joe***
The smell of cookies and the sound of kids running through the house woke me on Christmas morning. Jim and Abby hosted everyone on Christmas Day because she was a stickler for the traditions of her youth and that's what her family did.
Her parents passed away when she was young and she was an only child, so my family became her whole family. My parents adored her, so her being the daughter they never had come easy for them.
Jim was doing better after the attempt on his life. The paranoia he felt was mostly gone and he had let the security go. That was from mostly Abby forcing him. She felt like a prisoner in her home and wasn't afraid of another nut going after Jim.
My dad was watching the kids play in the den. I sat in front of the fire and said, "Merry Christmas, Dad."
"Merry Christmas, Son. Your mom's making pancakes. Should be ready soon." With the mere mention of pancakes, the kids were off to inspect and find out when we would be eating. I suspected they would steal some chocolate chips too.
"Dad, I need some advice." I was struggling with what to do about Melanie. I overreacted to her bad joke, and I'd been ignoring her as some passive-aggressive punishment.
"Oh, yeah? What's going on, Joe?"
"It's my girlfriend. I overreacted to something she did, and I've been avoiding her. I'm not sure if we're still a couple or not. She hasn't tried to see me either, so she may have moved on."
"Well, it's interesting that she hasn't reached out to you. That could mean one of two things."
I leaned forward and hoped he had something that wasn't bad news.
"She's either still your girlfriend or she's not."
"Come on, Dad. This is serious."
"I'm serious, Joe. For a smart kid, you're being really dumb about this. All you have to do is communicate. You're sitting there all worried when what you need to do is talk to her. If you overreacted, apologize. You can't sit around and mope about it though. You're too young to give yourself an ulcer."
I knew he was right. I was afraid to talk to her and find out she didn't want me anymore and it was making it worse. I needed to man up and call her.
"Thanks, Dad."
He nodded and picked up the newspaper while I went to call Melanie.
***Melanie***
It was six in the morning on Christmas when I stared out the window. Again, I wished it snowed where I lived, but a white Christmas wasn't in the cards for me. I couldn't sleep but I was exhausted. My stomach was in knots. My tears were cried out. My heart hurt. I was alone. I knew I made the right decision by not going home for Christmas but being right didn't make it feel any better emotionally.
The holiday killed the normal bustle that would be going on along my street. The only activity was the occasional jogger or dog walker and somehow that made it worse.
I turned on my phone to listen to the angry messages I thought I was sure to have, but to my surprise, I had none. I wasn't sure what to make of that. Were they glad I wasn't there to disrupt their holiday, or didn't my absence matter to them at all?
I jumped when the phone rang in my hand and my heart leapt when I realized it was Joe calling. I took a deep breath and answered.
"Hi, Joe."
"Hi, Melanie. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch. I knew I overreacted, and I was scared to call you."
I laughed and said, "I've been afraid to talk to you too. I was afraid you didn't want to be with me anymore."
"God! No way. When I get back, I'm not even going home first. I'm gonna run right into your arms."
"I miss you so much, Joe. I'll be waiting here with open arms for you."
"Are you there now? Didn't you go home?"
"No. No one there wants to see me yet. I'd just spoil their holiday."
