~*~ Lilliahna ~*~
"Lil, Baby, what am I going to wear?" Zac asked as he stuck his head back into the bathroom fifteen minutes later.
"Clothes is a good start, otherwise I don't think I'll be able to leave you alone," I giggled as I wrapped the towel around me and headed into the bedroom.
"Hello?" I asked, as someone knocked on the door.
"Can I come in?" it was Jess. I opened the door.
"What is it?"
"Isabella is crying, I don't know what to do."
"Where are your parents?" I asked, following her into the lounge room.
"The funeral place rang and they had to go and organise some last minute things," Jess said, getting upset.
"Hey, don't worry honey, I'm not mad. Let's see what's wrong hey?" I asked picking up Issy. I felt her nappy, she was very wet.
"Jess, she just has a wet nappy, she hates it when her nappy is wet. How about I take her now and you go and get ready?" I asked. Jess nodded as she skipped off to get organised.
"Wow, can I have a hug now?" Matt asked, as he came into the room. I was still only wearing a towel.
"Sure matey," I said grabbing him.
"Now I'd better go and get ready. See you later," I said as I wandered back into the bedroom and shut the door. Zac was still standing in his towel, staring at his clothes.
"Baby, is it that hard to pick?" I asked him as I changed Issy and put her in her cot to play with her teddy.
"Yeah, it's the last time I'm gunna be with Dad, I want to look respectable." I nodded and understood where he was coming from. I picked up a pair of black dress pants and told him to put them on. He then grabbed a white dress shirt and tried to find his tie.
"Wait up babe," I said coming over to him and undoing the top couple of buttons.
"I don't think we have time Lil," he said, tugging on my towel.
"No babe, there, now you look great," I said winking at him and pulling my dress over my head, so far with nothing under it.
"Aren't you wearing bras or undies?" he asked. I gave him a look and pulled the most sexiest black G out of my bag and pulled it on.
"Happy?" I asked.
"How am I meant to concentrate now I know what you have under that gorgeous little black dress?" he asked, circling his waist with his arms. I shrugged.
"Could you dress Issy while I do my make-up?" I asked him.
"In what?" he replied. I pulled out a little pink dress from her bag. It was the most formal thing she owned and I thought it would be suitable. She couldn't wear black, she was too little. He managed ok, and once my make-up was done I combed some mousse into my hair. I left some on my fingers and roughed Zac's hair up a bit.
"Now, we are going to be the hottest people out today," I told him as I slipped on my heels and picked up Issy.
"You ready baby?" I asked him. He slowly nodded and I picked up my black clutch, which I had shoved lots of tissues into. He would need them, not being mean, but I could sense he was close to becoming a mess already. I looked at the time. It was 1 o'clock.
"Time to go and get organised," I told him as I handed him Issy and grabbed her nappy bag. As we got to the lounge room Zac's uncles were back.
"Where's Fay and Kate?" he asked.
"Getting ready. Now don't you guys look like a little family?" commented Tony.
"Thanks, I think," Zac said.
"We are going to head off now and meet you there. There is something we have to do first," I informed them as I led the way out the door to the car. I put Issy into her car seat and the pram in the boot.
"Where are we going Lilliahna. I don't feel like going anywhere at the moment," Zac told me. He wasn't in a state to drive so instead I did.
"I've arranged a surprise for you," I said, handing him his sunnies and slipping a dummy into my bag.
~*~ Zac ~*~
I had no idea where Lil was taking me. I wasn't in the mood for surprises and I didn't want to get annoyed at her. She loved me, so I knew she understood what was going on. I was surprised as we pulled up outside of the funeral home.
"What are we doing here? We are an hour early," I told her.
"Babe I know. It's ok, they know we are coming. Can you get the pram please?" she asked, fixing her make-up in the mirror, not giving anything away. I took a deep breath so I wouldn't argue with her and did as she asked.
Once she had safely buckled Isabella in her pram she turned to me and put her arms around me.
"Baby, I know the last time you're saw your Dad was horrible. It isn't how I'd want to remember any of my loved ones. I've organised it so you can see him now, so you can say goodbye to him on your own before everyone gets here. If you don't want to that's ok. But I thought you might like to," She told me, hugging me to her.
"Are you serious?" I asked her, my voice choked with emotion.
"You did this for me?" I felt my eyes feel with tears.
"Baby, I want to make this as easy as I can on you. You ready?" she asked as she turned around. I followed her inside and stood in a daze while she explained it all. The woman at the desk led us to the door.
"Do you want me to come with you Zac?" Lil asked me. I nodded, looking at the door. "Would you mind watching my little sister Isabella for me? I would really appreciate her not with us at this moment, if not it's ok, we couldn't get anyone to watch her," I heard Lil ask the woman.
"Sure, I have half an hour free until I need to be somewhere, I could play with her until then."
"Thank-you," I said as I gave her a small smile and looked at Lil.
"When you're ready," the woman said, leaving us alone. Lil gently took my hand and pushed the door open, gently urging me inside.
"You want to do this Zac, I mean you don't have to," Lil said, worry in her voice.
"I do," I said quietly. "I just don't know what to say."
"Speak from your heart. Did you want me to go, I don't want you to feel that I have to stay," Lil said. I knew she was letting me go, to do this by myself, but I wanted her near me, to catch me as I fell which I knew I was going to do. I put my arm around her, my hand resting on her hip. I felt her arm move behind me and she slowly moved me forward.
As I approached Dad, what used to be Dad, I felt the tears begin to fall, and my knees grow weak.
"I'm sorry Dad," I said, before falling to my knees and dissolving into tears. I heard Lil start crying behind me, but knew she wasn't crying for her, she was crying because of the pain she saw me in.
I only knew because she had said it so many times before. But I loved her for it, I loved feeling cared for. She raised one hand and let it rest on my shoulder, knowing better than I myself did about what I needed right now.
"I'm sorry I got angry with you for not being there for me Dad, I'm sorry I blamed you for what happened with Mum. I know it wasn't your fault. I know that now, I knew it all along, I was just so angry, I didn't know what else to do. I'm sorry I left that night Dad, I couldn't handle seeing you do this to yourself. I'm sorry for running away when you needed me the most," I had to stop here because I was crying so hard I couldn't get the words out.
Yet Lil must have sensed that I wanted to say more because she didn't move. I knew if she showed me how much she cared I would lose it and not be able to finish. I once again thought to myself how much I loved her.
"Dad, I know we have both done wrong things, but I am sorry that we never got a chance to fix what had gone bad between us. You were once my hero, than I thought of you as the villain who had destroyed my life. But now, that I have stopped and thought about it, and had some help understanding everything from the most amazing person in the world, I see that I was yet again wrong. You are my hero Dad.
"You taught me what it meant to love someone with your whole heart. You taught me how to be a gentleman. You taught me how to ride a bike and kick a football. You're my hero Dad, and if I turn out to be half the man, and the father, that you were I would be happy. I'm sorry I never made the time to tell you this. I love you Dad, I always will. Goodbye Dad," I said as the tears overtook me again.
I turned and reached for the one person I had left in the world, and just as I knew she would, she caught me as I fell. I was crying so hard that I could hardly breath, and Lil picked up on this when she began to make soothing noises and rub my back, the same way I had seen her calm done Isabella when she woke up crying.
It worked though. I felt my breathing slow down and the tears stopped falling as fast. She offered me a tissue and I mopped my streaming eyes. I saw her do the same out of the corner of my eyes.
"Lilliahna, thank-you for giving me this opportunity. Thank-you so much," I said pulling her to me. We sat like that for a little while, before there was a knock at the door and the woman stuck her head in.