This is part 1 of the story. There will be a part 2 but I don't know when.
If there is anything you'd like to see Jen and Melvin do, PM me. I just might use it. But, remember to keep it in the essence of their personalities and sexual likes.
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I was happily married for 14 years to a man whom loved me dearly. But, there were things about him that made it hard to live with him. He was 10 years older than me for one thing. So there was a generational gap between us. The problem with that is that often he felt more like a Dad than a husband. And he also tired easier than me and had more heath problems.
He wasn't too keen on affection either. Well, unless it was on his terms and in his time. He didn't even like me to touch his thick soft hair. I don't think that had to do with age.
Another thing that was hard to live with was his memory. Oddly enough, he had memory like an elephant. He remembered every conversation, every little thing I did wrong, the date of every event involving us or our families and even every preference I stated. Oh and I could never disagree with him. It frustrated him when I was unable to remember everything he did. I'm sorry but my memory has never been all that great. And in every argument he would bring up every single thing I ever did wrong. I think it was so that I'd look like the bad guy instead of him.
Lastly, the sex was a problem. I was partly to blame. So, I can't put all the blame on him. From his perspective I wasn't in the mood frequently enough. I suppose he was right. I was fine with sex once a month. But what I never had the courage to do was explain why I wasn't "in the mood" often enough. There were understandable times when I was tired or sick. But the other times is because it seemed like such a hassle to prepare for sex and it was meant more for his pleasure than mine anyway. I guess you could say I found sex boring. I wanted excitement and romance with it. But, he just didn't get that.... And yes, I did explain to him several times I'd like to try new things. But, his imagination and willingness to get "kinky" was limited.
I often wonder if our sex problems were because of our age gap. Him being 10 years older surely had him in a different mind set than me. And also I think a factor was sex lives before we hooked up. I was wild and loved sex. Several guys told me I sucked dick like I was making love to it with my mouth. I also could mount the best of them and make their eyes roll in the backs of their heads and every muscle in their body tighten. I felt like I conquered men sexually. There was nothing like getting a tall, masculine and strong guy to tremble all over and call begging to do it again. I could make a guy do anything I wanted in bed.
My husband on the other hand had only been with 3 other people and he "made love" to them. Sex was gentle and loving while mine was raw and exciting. Many women would want a man like that. I could enjoy sex like that occasionally. But for the most part I need wild passionate kinky sex. I want to feel like a Goddess over my man. I want him to worship my body and get drunk from my essence. And I want him to follow orders!
You may be wondering why I said that he loved me dearly when I just brought all that negative stuff up. Well, in spite of all that he had great qualities as well. In any relationship there are some things that irk you. You have to weigh the bad and good things. If you have more good than bad you are doing great. His good outweighed the bad.
Here are the good things:
1. He never abused or hit me in any way.
2. He always had my back.
3. He always believed in my talents and whole-hearted supported my talents (writing, poetry, digital art and we designing).
4. He was a great provider that allowed me to stay home and raise our daughter. He worked a full time job and picked up as much work on the side as he could repairing computers.
5. He loved my family and they loved him.
6. Anytime I didn't feel well he honestly worried about me and did whatever he could to help.
7. He had a great witty sense of humor. I nicknamed him, "The Wit Master".
8. He had a caring heart. He truly cared about people in general and always made time to try and help if possible.
There are more things but I think you have a good idea about his good points.
So far I have written about him in the past tense. That is because a he passed away. I was devastated because I lost my best friend, confidant, biggest fan, husband, lover and Father of my child. For about 3 days I just sat and stared at a wall thinking about him. My daughter was pretty depressed as well. But she was prepared because we didn't lie about it. She was aware of what was wrong with him and that he didn't have long to live.
Well, after a year passed I began considering dating. Even though he had made me promise to let myself love another man and be happy, I felt like I would be betraying him. The thought of being touched and held by another man just felt wrong.
A friend of mine told me she knew a few guys I may be interested in. I kindly thanked her but rejected her offer. She wanted to play match-maker but I wasn't ready to play the field. Besides, being a working single mom and my daughter playing softball and basketball kept me busy. And at 38 years of age, who would truly want to date me?
One day I was sitting on a park bench watching my daughter play "street ball" (basketball) with some other girls her age. Every time she sank the ball in the hoop I clapped for her. I was glad to see her maintaining an athletic mindset and being distracted from the pain of losing her Dad.
Often if I sit too long my legs get restless. So I tend to get up and walk around the park. One day I walked for a bit and then sat on a picnic bench under a tarp. Although I was looking in the direction of the basketball court, my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of my husband. In fact, I was so preoccupied that I didn't notice someone sat at the picnic table to my left (the basketball court was to the right).
I heard a male voice ask, "Are you OK?" I was startled and gasped.
He apologized and I just laughed it off and said, "I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice you."
He said, "You looked sad and something compelled me to come over here and lend an ear."
I smiled, "I was just lost in thought with memories of my husband who died a little over a year ago."
With a sympathetic look he said, "Oh, I'm sorry for your loss." I thanked him and he asked, "Do one of those girls belong to you?" I nodded and described which one was my daughter.
He asked, "How is she dealing with the loss?"
I answered, "She was prepared for his death. I think that helps. And she stays busy with basketball and softball. She plays on a softball team in a youth league and when she's on her off season she plays ball here at the park. She wants to play basketball for school when she gets to high school."
He lifted his eyebrows, "Wow! She is really athletic!" He smiled and continued, "But it also seems like her sports interests keep you busy and distracted. Well, except for today."
I didn't know this guy but he seemed easy to talk to. But, I didn't want to talk about my husband and his death anymore. So, I politely changed the subject. I asked, "So do any of those girls belong to you?"
He nodded, "Well sort of. She's my adopted younger sister." He pointed her out and said, "She loves basketball and running. She wants to get on a track team. She was adopted when she was 3 but my parents died in a car accident when she was 7. I have been raising her ever since with the help of my older sister. The three of us live together."
I offered my condolences for the death of his parents. He said, "I'm OK. My little sister is doing well. My parents lived a happy life. They were in their 60's. They fostered kids for as long as I could remember." He nodded to the court, "But she was the only one they adopted. They also raised money for various charities. They were good people and the community has missed them." He chuckled, "You know we have been having a deep conversation and we don't even know each other's names. I'm Melvin and my little sister is Jade."
I said, "My name is Jen. My daughter is Brit."
His little sister (who looked about 12 or 13) came over to him. She was a cute Asian girl with pretty brown eyes and shiny black hair pulled into a pony tail. She had a nice smile as she politely greeted me. She then said, "I'm done for today. My team won. My team captain, Brit, is really good. She passed the ball to me a lot and every shot she took the ball went in. It didn't matter where she was on the court. And she blocked good for me to. And she's really nice. I like her. Every time I play on her team I have fun."
Melvin nodded to me, "This is her Mother. It's good you didn't say anything bad."
The three of us chuckled and I said, "Well, I saw you out there. You are good too. I'm glad you like Brit. She's a good kid."
She said, "Thanks. She said her softball season is coming up soon and I won't see her much until it's over. I'll miss playing with her. Hey, can I have your number so we can at least talk? I really like her."
I said, "Sure. And you should come to some of her games too." None of us had anything to write with. So, I pulled out my Blackberry phone and said, "I'll email the number to your brother. You can call between 6pm and 8pm during the week. It'll be hard to get her on the weekends but you can try between 11am and 8pm. I'll also give you Brit's email address. " I looked to Melvin and asked for his email address and then sent the email.
Brit then came over and Jade told her about calling and emailing her. Brit seemed happy, "That sounds cool." She then looked at me, "I am so hot and tired. I'm ready to go."
I nodded, "O.K, honey." I then looked to Melvin, "It was nice meeting and talking to you. See you around."
He said, "Likewise. Take care." Brit and I then left.
In the car Brit said, "He likes you."
I chuckled, "I hope everybody that meets me likes me. I think I'm pretty nice."
She rolled her eyes, "No. I mean likes LIKES you."
I shook my head, "Nah." I then changed the subject, "Hey, you want ice cream?"
She answered excitedly, "Yes! That would be awesome!" So, I took her for ice cream.
That night when I was laying in bed I thought about Melvin. I recalled his light brown eyes that seemed very similar to my daughter's eyes. I then thought about his light brown skin. I have always been attracted to exotic looking guys. I like the tall dark handsome kind of guy. White guys with blond hair were just too boring looking.