Learning to Trust

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Ok people, this is my first submission so please be nice lol. I hope you like it.

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Finishing late at work again, I stood at the bus stop waiting, my feet sore from running around all day and my thin jacket doing nothing to protect me from the chilly Scottish weather. It had been another busy night at the pub and being the only person on the floor meant I had to work twice as hard to get everything done, serving food, clearing dishes, washing dishes and making dessert. I had worked my seven hour shift without a break and couldn't wait to get home, grab a quick snack and put my feet up.

I glance up as the glare of headlights approach and thank God that my bus was finally here.

Climbing on I take a seat up the back, ignoring the small sign in the window to "keep you feet of the seat" and got comfy for the half hour bus ride home. With my earphones and my playlist of favourites I lose myself in my own little world as I watch the people we pass.

As the bus stops at a junction I look to my right and see a young couple laughing and kissing as they walk past and my heart lurches as I remember my last relationship. Splintered and broken a mere two weeks before in a drinking argument. I shake my head and fight the tears that threaten as my heart is filled with longing, wishing I could turn back the clock and take back the things I said. Wishing I had the courage to phone you and explain the reason behind the words, my insecurities that refuse to allow me to believe you actually loved me, desired me. Wished I could tell you that I do trust you.

I know I'm not model material, could do with losing a few pounds, it had been drummed into me throughout my life that I was fat and needed to lose weight. And I wish I could explain to you that having lived with so much criticism, it take a while to believe the praise, but I was getting there.

I sit on the bus and can't help but remember the last happy time we had been together. You had came over after work with a few DVDs and a bottle of my favourite wine. Your grey eyes sparkled as you looked at me when I opened the door and for just a moment I thought you were laughing a me, but the kiss you gave me was anything but amusing. You kissed me like you hadn't seen me for days, despite seeing me the day before. Your big hands were full but as soon as you dumped the wine on my coffee table, you pulled me to you and buried your face in my neck as your hands slide around my waist and down to my ass, grabbing it as you moaned. I laughed as I felt you lifting my skirt and playfully pushed you away. You grinned and chased me into the kitchen, pinning me to the counter, your strong arms on either side, boxing me in. I remember looking at you and thinking how gorgeous you were, how you could have any girl you wanted, wondering why you were with me.

It didn't take me long to stop thinking as your lips touched mine and you whispered how sexy I looked, your sweet breath mingling with mine, your eyes soft as you looked into my eyes. Our kiss was gentler this time but no less arousing. Your fingers slipped into my hair as you cradled me head and stepped towards me, arching my back as my head tilted up. I always loved that you were so much taller than me.

I could feel the hard plains of your chest against my soft breast through my thin bra and my nipple puckered as I thought about running my hands across your muscles. Without thought my little hands slid beneath your top and slid up your back. You know I love your back. Love to watch the muscles ripple as you move.

You moaned again and you move, one hand to the base of my neck, keeping me in place as your lips trail across my face to my ear, the other to my hem of my dress as your fingers tickle smooth skin of my thigh.

My breathing gets heavier as my pussy gets wetter and I rub my self against you.

You chuckle in my ear and ask me if your turning me on. I moan in response and raise my leg causing you hand to slid higher up my hip. Mmmmmm, I love your ass, you tell me as you grab it again, you hand slipping beneath my underwear, touching bare flesh....

I jerk out of my daydream as I realise the bus is pulling into my stop and rush to get to the front before the driver pulls away.

The chilly air hits me as I step onto the pavement and glance around. The black sky looks threatening, hiding the stars behind thick depressing clouds. The street lamps illuminate the dark street as I walk quickly to my stair door, throwing shadows grotesquely across the walls and road.

I shiver as I reach my door, keys in hand, thankful for the safety of my home only a few seconds away.

The bright starlight blinds me as I step into the cold yellow stair. I let the door swing close behind me as I rush up the old stairs, thinking of the small amount of food in my fridge, what I can throw together for a quick meal.

If I didn't have my earphones in, my music loud and my thoughts else where I might have heard the stair door taking longer to close. I might have heard the footsteps behind me as I ascended to the third floor. I might have heard them stop behind me as I stopped at my chipped green front door. I might have known some one was behind me before I did.

As I entered the house I thought I was safe and never thought to turn and close the door myself, instead letting it close on its own as I unbuttoned my jacket, pulled my earphones out and unplugged them from my phone. I opened the cupboard door and hung up my jacket, kicking my shoes off at the same time and as I closed it I saw him.

My heart stopped and I opened my mouth to scream but no sound escaped as his arm clamped around my waist and his hand across my mouth. He pushed me against the door I had just closed. I fought and twisted but nothing moved him. Tears spring in my eyes as his head lowered to mine and I thought about all the horrible things that could happen, the images flashing through my mind like a sick slideshow.

"Shhh baby, shhh" he whispered in my ear.

I sobbed and my eyes widened. I knew that voice. I couldn't see his face, the hall so dark it was mere familiarity that prevented me for walking into the small table in the corner and the cover on the radiator, but I knew that voice.

He didn't remove his hand but his hot breath bathed my ear and neck, the smell of alcohol strong and oppressive.

"I'm not gonna hurt you baby, you know that. I love you but I didn't think you'd listen if I just phoned." he said urgently. I pushed at his shoulders, his clammy hand still over my mouth repressing my pleas to stop, but it was no good and as he straightened, pulling me closer, I had to stand on my tiptoes to keep my balance. He maneuvered me down my hall to my bedroom, bumping us into the wall partially due to the drink he'd consumed and partially due to my weight slowing us down.

Soon we stumbled onto my bed, his weight pressing me down, his legs trusting between mine. His arm comes off my waist and he strokes my head, the hand across my lips doesn't move. My rooms a lot lighter than my hall as the window looks out into the street, the light from a lamp making it almost bright. I look at his face for the first time in two weeks and am shocked at what I see. His once bright eyes are puffy and red like he hasn't slept in who knows how long, the alcohol making the whites of his eyes blood shot. A thick layer of stubbed covered his jaw and cheeks and it's obvious he hasn't shaved in days.

"God baby, you look so good." he murmured as he stroke the hair back from my face. "I've missed you, babe, so much...so much. Can't stop thinking of you...thinking of us....I should never have left the way I did...left you crying...kills me thinking of you crying."

He leans down and I close my eyes as he slowly kisses the none existing years from my face. My heart hurts at the tone of his voice, he sounds so lost and alone and it kills me.

"I know you don't believe me baby but I love so much...never knew I could feel this much pain...can't lose you baby...can't live without you..." he groaned, his head dropping to my chest as he whispers. "Need to show you I love you...show you that I don't want anyone else...only need you."

The hand left my hair and he fumbled between us his hand searching for something. At first I thought he was undoing his trousers but he soon pulled a small bundle of fabric from his pocket and as he brought it to my face, he finally lifted his hand from my mouth.

"Jason..." I started to speak but never finished as the small bundle was forced into my mouth. I automatically moved to remove it but he grabbed my wrists and before I knew it he had them pinned above my head and was tying them together.

I started to get pissed know. He knew how I felt about bondage! How it scared me to give up control like that to another person. I could never bring myself to trust another person to do that.

"shhh...shhh...its ok sweetheart...I'm gonna show you you can trust me...gonna show you just what that gorgeous body of yours does to me...not gonna hurt you...love you...."

I struggled as he moved off me, pulling me up as he did. He pulled the thin cloth in his hand around the tall poster at the base of my bed and tied it off, keeping me me captive and freeing his hand. I sat there glaring at him as he looked me over, cursing and calling him all the names I could think of, though my voice was muffled through the gag.

Jason knelt in front of me, his hands quickly pulling the button of my work trousers off and my zip down. I tried to kick him but he ignored me and my trousers soon were down at my ankles then off, followed by my socks and knickers. I sat there naked from the waist down, my fat belly and thighs on display. Despite my anger I could feel tears of humiliation stinging in my eyes as I tried to turn away and hide my faults.

Jason's face was unreadable. He simply sat an stared his hands on my knees forcing my legs apart and exposing my most private place to his view. Suddenly he pulled of his jacket, followed by his top and sat on his knees. I had managed to lock my knees together but once he was stopped enough he pried them open again and I cried out in shame. I felt so self conscious having him stare at me like he was.

I watched in horror as he fished another length of cloth from his pocket and proceeded to tight my knee to the post. I shook my head and screamed at him, the words unintelligible and muted, the tears streaming down my face and as he held my other leg, pulling me open, I wondered why he hated me, why he was humiliating this way. My lungs burned as I sobbed and to add to my shame i started to hiccup.

"Baby why are you crying? Why can't you see how gorgeous you are?" hi eyes dropped to my pussy and he moaned. "You're a Goddess! All ripe and full! Every time I see you move...see your arse sway and your belly jiggle I get fucking hard as steel."

I stared in disbelief as he undid his trousers and pulled his hard cock from the confines of his boxers. As he stared at me he stroked his cock. In the light of the steer lamp I could see the glistening head as he rubbed the pre-cum across his shaft. His eyes were wide and focused and his thumb rubbed small circles across the skin of my inner knee.

I couldn't look away. I had always loved it when he stroked himself for me.

Jason slowly leaned forward and kissed my thigh. I jumped and he chuckled, "You like that baby?" I had never let him go down on me, too scared that it would turn him off, but I sat there wide eyed as his lips and tongue worked their way towards my centre. Despite the situation I could feel my pussy getting wet and I squirmed on the bed. His eyes never left mine as he got closer and I stopped breathing all together as I waited for that first touch. As soon as it came I jumped. His firm tongue slide through my folds, his nose nudging my clit. I squeaked as his pointed tongue buried itself inside my damp hole and soon my juices were flowing. Jason groaned and attacked my pussy with enthusiasm, his tongue lapping my honey from the source, his nose rubbing my clit. Soon I could feel my orgasm rising and I moaned behind my gag as he pushed me over the edge.

I sagged against the post of my bed as he slowly brought me down from my high, sucking and licking my cum from my pussy lips and thighs. Looking down I could see he was still stroking his cock, his hand a blur. Jason rose and wrapped my hair in one of his hands, the other tugging his dick . He had moved forward and I could feel the friction of his arm against my thigh. His breathing was harsh and fast as he panted towards release.

"Baby....God.....baby I'm gonna cum...gonna come...right on that pretty pussy of yours." He licked his lips and. His forehead rested against mine, our eyes locked. " God you taste so fucking good!! So good! I've wanted to do that....for so long....definitely gonna...do it again....here it comes baby...you ready....do you want to see me come...watch me come...watch me come....watch...." he groaned as his seed shot out and landed on my stomach. He moved closer and the rest landed on my pussy, colouring my dark pubes white. Soon he was spent and his cum dripped down through the hair and over my lips, pooling beneath my ass.

As we both sat breathing, letting out bodies return to normal, I marvelled at what had just happened. Jason had been so turned on by me, he had cum buckets all over me.

I thought them that he would release me but he didn't. He kissed me quick on my partially open lips and rose to his feet. He pushed his jeans and boxers all the way off and I was awestruck at how sexy he really was. Jason untied me and ordered me to shuffle to the centre of the bed. I complied not thinking of doing anything else and sat there with my legs drawn up. Soon my hands were secured above me and my legs were tied spread. Despite what had just happened, I still felt embarrassed and anxious ad he stood beside me and let his eyes drift over my body.

I still had my top on and I honestly don't think Jason had thought about removing it. I panicked when he suddenly left to room and my panic doubled as he returned with my kitchen scissors. He climbed on my body and straddled my hips. Takin my top in hand he cut it from hem to collar and across one shoulder before pulling it from beneath me and pushing it up in arm. No sooner said than done I was naked and his hard on had returned.

"Babe...your tits are....amazing...every time I see them I just...I just want to slip my dick between them and fuck them hard....mmm I bet they'd feel so good around my cock."

I stared as he shuffled closer to my face, his knees tucked under my armpits as he positioned his cock between my tits. Softly he stroked the sides of my breast and up to my nipples, flicking the hard little nubs causing me to groan and writhe beneath him.

"You like that baby?.....You like it when I play with your hard little nipples?" he whispered as his talented fingers twisted and tweaked my nipples until the hard little nubs stood proud. I couldn't help but moan as he worked my breast. My breast were my weak spot, he knew that an was shamelessly using that fact to his advantage. My already wet pussy gushed with each tug and my hips rose on there own, tilting Jason towards me. His hard cock rubbed obscenely between my tits, leaving a trail of sticky pre-cum as it went. Jason moaned at the sight and his big hands grabbed my tits, mashing them together around his thick dick. Only the head was visible and I was fascinated as I watched it disappear with each thrust.

"God....baby, you have know idea....how fucking.....hot.....this looks.....Your gorgeous....tits....wrapped around....my hard cock!" he panted, each word followed with a steady thrust. Letting a man fuck my tits was not something I had ever done, nor something I thought I would ever do but as I lay there, my body bound and completely under his control, I couldn't help but watch Jason's face and his expression was....awed. He truly looked like he was loving it. And the more I watched the more powerful I felt. I may have been bound and helpless but it was my body that he was worshiping, my body that turned him on to this extent. I couldn't help but feel proud and excited that he truly wanted me.

Soon Jason stopped his assault on my boobs and I watched as he moved down my body, planting little kisses as he went. He settled between my outstretched thighs, his warm hands caressing my hips and belly. For what seemed like eternity we stared at each other and without breaking his stare he reached over and slowly withdrew the cloth in my mouth. I licked my lips, my tongue slowly wetting them and his gaze dropped to my mouth. My heart pounded and for a few seconds time seemed to stand still. For a few seconds it was like our first time together all over again. We looked in each others eyes, our lips mere inches apart, our breathe mingled and our bodies humming with anticipation. As I thought this I realised it was a first time. Our first time as equals. Our first time without restraint.

"Untie me." I breathed.

For a moment he hesitated and I could see his Adams apple bob as he swallowed. I realised he didn't want to release me, fearing I would still get up and leave. But my stare never wavered and with a slight nod of his head he gentle untied my wrists followed my my ankles. I didn't speak as I rubbed the tender skin on my arms and he watched me anxiously.

I sat up slowly and as my face became level with his, I ran my fingers across his whiskers and brought his mouth to mine. He moaned in relief as I pulled him on top of me, my arms wrapped around his neck. I poured everything I had into that kiss, letting him know that I loved him, trusted him and wanted him unconditionally.

Jason's hard, muscular body lay across mine as we kissed and touched and for the first time I never thought about my size. Never worried that he would suddenly come to his senses and be turned off. I let his greedy hands wander and relished the feel of them grabbing my wide hips and rubbing my chubby belly. Our kiss grew and soon we needed more. I raised my legs, wrapping them around his hips as he positioned his hard cock at my opening. With one deep thrust he was inside me, his steel pole sheathed in my wet pussy. We bother moaned as he started moving, pounding a steady rhythm that brushed my clit with every thrust. My back arched as my climax neared, my little nails digging into his shoulders as it rolled through me and my mouth fell open in a soundless scream as I struggled to breathe. With a few quick pumps Jason joined me, groaning in my ear as his hot cum flooded my womb.

We lay there for what seemed like forever afterwards, his head buried between my breast, my hands running through his hair. I was exhausted but sleep wouldn't come. Jason snored softly, his warm breathe tickling the underside of my tits. I couldn't help but chuckle as I was usually the first to fall asleep, worn out after numerous orgasms, leaving him horny and wanting more.

I lay there and for the first time in a long time I felt happy and secure. It seemed to be a night of many firsts for me and I couldn't really say I minded.

I don't know when, but I finally fell asleep and woke late the next morning. As I opened my eyes the first sight I saw was Jason's worried grey eyes.

"I'm sorry babe, I never meant to scare you or hurt you I swear. I just....I just wanted you to know you could trust me and that I love you and.... I couldn't think of any other way to show you." he said in a quiet voice, his eyes shadowed with guilt and worry. "These last few weeks have been...pure hell. I've missed you so much babe, so much."

Tears pooled in his beautiful eyes and he broke his gaze, his eyes drifting down to the sheet between us.