Lae Como

Many thanks to my editor, theMasterBaiter, for their keen eye and insightful feedback.

*****

The sun was still high in the sky when we got off the bus in front of the resort. The autumn sky was cloudless and deep blue. As we approached the lodge, a white- and gold-uniformed valet asked our names, then took our bags.

The main lodge was a great log-house ordeal surrounded by outbuildings, a pool, outlying facilities and two dozen or so chalet-style cabins spread around the hills just outside of our resort town.

Presently, armed with map, room keys and an assortment of activity flyers, we made our way to our cabin. As we left the lodge, Mi ushered me gently through the door with three fingers in the small of my back. He didn't usually do that. Had our sordid ten minutes yesterday in the train bathroom brought him closer?

A soft loamy trail led us to Chalet No. 19, tracing a rough switchback under the conifers. The sunlight dappled. After divesting ourselves of our coats, we collapsed on the furniture in front of the vacant fireplace.

Travel was exciting, but stressful nevertheless. I was the kind of person who could walk into a train station, buy a ticket on the spot and wing it for a week in whatever destination I chose, although traveling solo as a woman meant there were some places I just didn't go. Having Mi by my side helped, of course, but those sorts of improv trips were difficult for him: Mikhael liked to have a plan for everything. I had to admit that I was relieved he had planned this one out. It was nice not to have to think for once.

"Can you sail?" I asked, holding up a boat rental brochure.

Mi shook his head.

"That's fine, because I can." One good thing that came from growing up in Bremen is that my dad got to pursue his dream of sailing. He was terrible at it and quickly abandoned it, but I happened to love it and had carried on with sailing lessons well into my teens.

Mi smiled in assent.

**

"Did you know that this is one of the deepest lakes in Europe?" I asked once we were out on the water. Mi cocked his head. "Its bottom is actually below sea level. Amazing, given how high up we are."

"I didn't know that" said Mi brightly. "Ever the tour guide, you."

"The Romans were building villas out here as far back as Pliny's time," I continued.

"I can see why. The sky is such a deep rich blue. And the water... it's transparent."

"Since we're at a higher altitude, there's less air to scatter the light and so it, I mean the sky, it appears darker."

"Now

that

I did know." Mi's eyes, blue as the rim of the sky over the mountains, were crinkled in a contented smile. Tufts of his mousy brown hair tossed in the light breeze.

His smile faltered and he averted his eyes, as if remembering something. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again. There was a pause. "I'm really glad you came out here with me, Zeph." The wind lapped at our single sail. I absentmindedly set the tiller. I was fixated on Mi. Come on, spit it out.

"If there's something that's bothering you, and I know there's

something

, just know that you can talk to me about it."

The sweetie.

"..Because recently I've been feeling like you've been more distant than usual, as in it's harder to get through to you. You seem to want something, or if not that, then it's as if you expect something from me, except I don't know what it is.

"It's just so hard, because... Babe, I can't stand the thought of smothering you, but I have to level with you. You are flat out the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on, bar none, and I mean both body and soul. You're razor-sharp, you have great taste, you brighten any room you walk into, you make me feel like a king.

"Every time I leave for work I get this twinge of dread that it will be the last time I see you.

"Not because I'm worried you'll run out on me, but the thought of being apart from you is so terrible that in those moments I feel I'd do anything to keep you."

Mikhael's eyes and mine were locked. "I know that pinning you down like some dead butterfly to a piece of cardpaper would be the worst thing to do, but I can't help the desire to. However much I know you need your autonomy, I still can't help wanting you to be mine, all mine." His face was dead serious. His eyes could have bored a hole in me, such was his fervor as he spoke.

"I want you to myself, all of you, forever. Your shy smile that kills me, your unselfconscious weird laugh, your luscious body, your scintillating mind, I want it all."

I couldn't tell if it was the rocking of the tiny boat or something else, but my world seemed to ripple and gyrate around me. Somewhere I was dimly aware that my mouth was a little bit open.

"I want it all and I want it for myself. I want to keep you somewhere safe and never let you go." He drew a breath. "So there it is... I hope that didn't come off as—"

"Shut up." His face, taken aback. "Shut up" I said again as I lunged forward and grabbed his cheeks and drew him into a passionate kiss. He was caught off guard at first, then met my kiss with his own. Soon our tongues were dancing a mile a minute as we each tied to practically fuck each other's throats.

After what seemed like an hour I drew back and inhaled deeply. Mi still held my neck and the small of my back. "Yes," I said. "Yes, you have me. Every inch of me. Every second of every day." As I said the words, my body was rocked by a rush from my scalp to my toes, and every tense muscle seemed to find its place at ease. I knew where I belonged. I was his.

Mikhael's eyes glittered. I could tell he was feeling the same thing. I was trembling with excitement, yet I don't think I could have moved if I had wanted to. We sat, for a brief moment, transfixed between cobalt sky and glassy water.

Then he spoke. He was smiling a devious little grin. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation.

"I'm glad," he effused, then with a whoop of glee he shoved me into the lake before jumping in after.