Grumpy Bastard as he was called by some, usually miffed opponents, at the golf club when he was more or less out of earshot while others knew him by his more regular name of Bob Hill, stepped on to the sands of Bob's Beach (all other locals knew it as Sandy Cove) and he stopped in shock.
Jesus.
A woman wearing only a bikini bottom was seated on a stool twenty yards away at an easel painting. Judging by the almost lack of no breast droop, not that he was a connoisseur or professional bra fitter, Bob thought she'd be no older than thirty, perhaps a bit more.
He kept clear of her by a good 20 feet, eyes focused straight ahead. He'd usually said good morning to everyone, even dogs, but not to this trollop.
"Good morning Mr Hill."
Huh?
"There's only you and me on the beach at this hour (5:20 am). How romantic."
Grumpy Bastard was never short of a response, so beat his chest with both hands and grunted, "Me Tarzan. Good morning Jane."
She giggled.
Yes she giggled. Bob was under the impression females stopped giggling at the age of seventeen.
"Come and check on my progress."
Bob swallowed and had the urge to run but Bob Hill had never ran from anything in his life. Bare-chested, he hitched up his black shorts, pulled in his belly and puffed out his chest and walked up to her who'd used his name.
She giggled (yes giggled) and said, "You don't remember me do you?"
She bent back a little and her chest puffed out, a lot. Bob's mind turned to putty.
"I er don't believe so."
"Nikki Wells. I grew up her and you taught me to swim and to row your dinghy."
Christ she was Young Nikki, his favorite of all the kids who'd regularly frequented the beach in his younger days.
The Hill family had farmed the area for four generations. Bob's late father had been a lazy bastard and found farming wasn't making him rich enough and so with the city only ten miles away, applied for planning approval to subdivide half the farm off in housing sections. The council said no but would approve the scheme if it were extended to allow a public road being put through the remainder of the farm to provide public access to Sandy Cove and the ownership of the sands above high water mark be transferred to the council as a public reserve plus enough land being gifted for public toilets and dressing sheds.
Bob's greedy father agreed providing the council paid all costs and the cost of developing the main road through the proposed subdivision and the council conceded. Bob's parents were killed in a train crash in India a year ago, making their only child a very wealthy landowner because at that stage all but ten acres of the farm fronting the western end of the beach had been subdivided and sites were ready for sale.
"Ah Nikki, you had stayed in the UK after graduating in fine arts."
"True but I'm here now, arriving three days ago. I married an art dealer, the biggest mistake of my life. He was lost most of his money gambling and operated his business from rented premises so I got fuck-all from the divorce apart of half of the proceeds of the sale of our modest apartment that had a hefty mortgage on it."
Bob wasn't sure a young lady should use the term fuck-all but said he was sorry and she said it was okay. She expressed regret he'd lost his wife (drove off the highway at speed when drunk) and he said that was okay and she said, "Kiss me."
Carefully placing his hands behind his back, Bob leaned over and kissed her.
"God are you nervous of me dressed like this?"
"No," said Tarzan.
He diverted her by looking at the painting taking shape.
"God this is beginning to look really good."
"I painting this beach many times in England off my photographs taken over the years and they always sold better than most other of my landscapes. Um I'm grown up now as you can see. Is it okay to call you Bob?"
"Yes of course Nikki. Paint me one of the cove during a big storm and I'll buy it."
"I'm not seeking charity."
"Then forget it."
"I'll paint it and give it to you."
"Forget it."
"Bob don't be so grumpy. You gave me countless hours of your time teaching me to swim, to row a boat, to ride your horse, to fish. God I should have married you."
"Ha, you were just a kid."
"Yeah but my parents were nervous about me spending so much time with you."
"Well all that associating with a dirty old groping man helped you turn out as a beautiful, charming lady."
"You never ever touched me, how can you suggest that?"
"Your mother thought so and your father warned me off several times and I told him to let you run wild and he'd end up with a decent kid who was not like your two insipid brothers. Then one day I goaded him a little too much. We fought, going at it for about ten minutes before he ran out of puff. He took the first swing and I yelled body blows only and he agreed because as he didn't want to be asked what had happened to his face."
"But my father is bigger than you."
"Yeah but in the fight Gerald was slower, not as fit and had a beer belly. He still doesn't talk to me."
Nikki sighed and said her father could be stubborn like that and he never said he was sorry even if proved wrong.
"Why are you painting almost in the nude, oh and great tits by the way?"
She laughed and said she was glad he appeared to be thawing.
"I'm painting like this to feel free. It's warm here. You have no idea knowing what it's like living in a city like Liverpool."
"No and that's an experience I'd prefer to miss but I'd like to walk through Scotland one day."
Bob sighed. "People will soon be arriving here with their dogs so best you put your top on. If you want to walk about free completely nude and without a finger being placed on you, come and live with me."
Nikki stared at him.
"Do you really mean that?"
"I guess so. No I do mean it, even if you decide to come for only a few hours a day."
"Mum is already complaining that I'm too messy about the house and dad complains I have my music up too loud."
"Then pack your bags and phone and I'll collect you. Tell them where you're going and have the row rather than have it later when they find out where you're living. You'll be in control by doing that, having them on the back foot."
Nikki challenged, "Aren't you going to suggest wait two days till I've had time to think this through and then trial it for a week?"
"Nope."
"Do you want me that badly?"
"I'd appreciate your company. I rattle around in the house alone."
Nikki thought about the 60-year-old farmhouse with pokey windows and thought it was dark and dreary inside and that was incentive to get outside and look for something to do. That would be the reason why he was out walking so early.
He checked the sky and said, "Well I'm off as I have a meeting in the city. Oh, don't tell your dad this but he and his two partners are tenants in one of my buildings. He doesn't know as far as I'm aware because I purchased it several months ago via a nominee company so please don't tell him otherwise he might blow a boiler and try to get out of the lease."
"But mum and I visited him in the Bach Building yesterday. It's probably the most glamorous building in the city and he's ever so proud of having the top floor."
"Yeah well they pay through the nose for that privilege. I felt the need to tell you so that you enjoy the irony of it."
"Oh I do. Did you buy the building knowing they occupied the premium floor?"
"Yes and every time I pass that building I smile at the thought. Your father loathes me."
"Have you ever screwed my mother?"
Bob kept his smile but waved goodbye and said, "There are some questions you ought never ask darling."
Omigod, Nikki thought. Bob Hill had screwed her mum to get back at her father for carrying a grudge. He was either horribly nasty or weirdly interesting and without thinking about it, she thought it was probably the latter.
"Hi mum," Nikki said, stopping at the TV room.
Her mum was watching The Breakfast Show and waved a hand feebly without taking her eyes off the screen. Her dad would be in their bathroom shaving, listening to the blaring TV in the bedroom.
She went to her room and closing the door turned up the speakers and let the music rip.
A few minutes later her dad banged on the door and yelled, "Breakfast and turn off that fucking din."
Nikki went to breakfast after turning off the music and sat at the table and said brightly, "Good morning family."
Her father grunted and her mother said Shhhh."
Nikki got up and brought back coffee and leaning against the bench switched off the TV.
"Hey we are watching that?"
"Poof dad, it's only noisy ads. I have an announcement to make."
She watched the color of her father's face darken as she said, "I met Bob Hill on his beach this morning..."
"It's everyone's beach, a public beach," snarled his father and a bunch of us are thinking about getting the name of this subdivision changed from being called Hills Farm."
Ignoring that, Nikki continued. "As I said we got talking and he appeared to be so lively and interesting that I asked could I move in with him. Some discussion followed and he finally said yes."
Her mother began crying and her father glowered and said, "I always knew Bob Hill couldn't keep his hands off you."
"I think you misunderstand dad. I mean I'm going to reside in his home, an alternative to residing here where I'm obviously not appreciated. You and mum don't put your hands on me just because I reside with you."
"That's baloney and you know it. That guy has reputedly seduced some of the most desirable women in the city."
Nikki glanced at her mother who was sitting with her mouth hanging open and presumably thinking she was in the city's desirable screwing set.
"Close your mouth Dianne or else you'll catch a fly," said her husband. "Say something to your wayward daughter."
"Nikki I really don't think..."
"Can it mum. I'm going and that's decided. Please think kindly of me and call me at times for a chat. As for you dad, I'll resume talking to you when you resume to having a normal relationship with Bob."
"What the hell do you mean girl?"
