Atie's Love

Writers Note

This is the sixth chapter of my story about Katie and goes from Oct 30, 1981 until Nov 12, 1981. There isn't much I can say about this one.

T

The first week in November started off like all the weeks that we had been together. Katie had brought me supper at my apartment that Friday and spent the night. Saturday was Halloween and she had candy for the kids that were out trick or treating. Afterwards, we didn't go the playroom, it was just one of those nights that we made soft and sweet love in her bed. It was sunny but cool on Sunday and we took a ride up to the State Park where the waterfalls were that had become our favorite spot to go to. We didn't pack a picnic supper to take with us since was getting dark early, instead we just stopped at a diner on the way back. Our kiss Monday morning before leaving for work seemed to go on longer than usual and she finished it off with one of her special, "I love you," kisses. Monday night I called her and everything was fine. Wednesday couldn't come fast enough so that I could be with her again.

Tuesday night I worked at the store late and called her around 8:00 PM and got her answering machine. I left a quick message for her to call me at the store. In the past she would always get right back to me. I got busy with a few customers and it was 9:00 PM and time to leave. I called her again, got the machine and left a message that I was heading to the apartment and that she should call me there after 9:30 PM. I made my bank deposit and got there at 9:25 PM. I waiting and waited but there was no call from her. I called her again at 11:00 PM, got the machine but this time I didn't leave a message. I was getting concerned and thought about driving down there but I decided that I would wait. I went to bed and didn't sleep very well.

I set my alarm for 7:30 AM and I called and got the machine again. Since I was up early, I went up to the store and I called her sales office. She had told me that they had her schedule of appointments and would be able to get a message to her. The day went by and there was still no word from her. I left the store right at 5:00 PM and drove down to her house. I arrived at 5:45 PM and it was getting dark out already. Her car wasn't in the driveway or carport and there were no lights on in the house that I could see. I went to the front door, unlocked it and went inside. It was dark in there, the hallway nightlight wasn't even on. I switched on the main light and there was a small pile of mail sitting on the floor which I picked up and then headed to the kitchen. After I turned the light on in there and put the mail on the counter, I went over to her phone and answering machine. There were three messages showing and I played them back. The first two were the ones that I had left the previous night and there was one from her boss around 10:30 AM this morning asking her to call him. I went back to the kitchen and checked the table and counter for a note from her. I couldn't think of any reason for her to just up and disappear like this. I stood there for a few minutes and then I heard the front doorbell ring. I walked over to the door, opened it, and there stood Mrs. Johnson who lived across the street.

I said, "Hello Mrs. Johnson. Can I help you?"

She answered softly, "I just wanted to come over and say how sorry I am."

I asked, "Sorry about what?"

She looked at me and said, "You must not know. I will be right back." I had no idea what she was talking about. I watched as she walked across the street and then came back carrying a newspaper.

I let her into the hallway and she handed me the newspaper, which was today's edition. I had seen it on the newsstand at the drugstore that was next to my store but I hadn't paid it any attention. The big news was about a car crash on the one highway. I knew that road, at that spot it was two lanes that were separated by a small median with a guardrail in the center. Mrs. Johnson pointed to the article. There was a picture of traffic backed up and also one of a car with it's roof torn completely off. I started reading it.

The accident had started as a chair reaction accident in the southbound lane. There was a bend in the road a little to the north of where it had happened and a truck had come around too fast and couldn't stop in time. He slammed into a car that was stopped but instead of pushing it into the car that was in front of it, it had gotten pushed up and over the back and had flipped over the guardrail in front of another car that was heading northbound at the time.

There were two people killed, I read the names, and one of them was Katie. I started shaking and I looked at the car in the photo and it looked like her car. I read the article again and my chest tightened up and I could hardly breathe.

Mrs. Johnson said, "I am sorry to have to be the one to tell you. You can keep the paper."

I replied, "No! Take it! I don't want it."

She said, "I am so sorry for your loss," and she took the newspaper out of my hand, walked out the door and closed it as she did.

I stood there in a total state of shock. I just couldn't believe it. I started crying and slumped down on the floor in a sitting position. I cried long and hard and I felt so lost and alone. At some point I slumped over and was lying on the floor as I cried from the very depths of my heart and my soul. I have no idea how long I was there.

Finally I started to get a little control of myself and then I had this weird feeling like there was someone else in the house with me.

I sat up and called out, "Who is there?"

The sound echoed down the hallway and through the rooms. There was no reply but the feeling was strong. I pulled myself up off the floor, walked into the kitchen and then out into the laundry room. The back door was locked and so was the screen door. I went back to the kitchen, looked around the living room, and walked quietly down the hallway. If someone had broken in through one of the bedroom windows they were going to get the beating of their life. That is, if they lived to tell about it. Every nerve in my body was on edge. I opened the door to the first bedroom, turned on the light and looked in. The window was closed and I walked over and quickly checked the closet. I did the same with the bathroom, Katie's bedroom and finally the playroom. Nobody was there, but I still had that feeling.

I walked back out to the kitchen. I got a shot glass from the cabinet, walked over and got the bottle of Scotch out. I nailed one shot, then another, and poured a third. I was going to nail that one but I stopped before I did. There was no way that I was going to stay there that night and I didn't want to be driving while drunk. I was a total mess inside as it was and I knew that drinking wasn't going to help, so I sipped that shot down slowly. I knew that Katie's mom would eventually get down to the house but after tonight I had no intention of ever coming back here again. I decided that I would go clean out my clothes from the first bedroom. I got up, went to her sink and got the box of trash bags out. I stood there for a few seconds, but then I thought about the playroom and I was sure that her mom didn't know about all of that and it wasn't something that she should have to deal with. So I walked back there first.

I knew that I could get rid of all of the toys in the dumpster that we used for the store. I headed over to the dresser and started emptying drawer after drawer. I filled one bag and had a second one about half full as well and I had that damn feeling like someone was watching me the whole time. I had never been through the drawers before. Katie always got out whatever it was she wanted us to play with and every drawer was so neatly arranged. Most of the toys I had seen. There were a few pairs of handcuffs that I hadn't seen before but the one that we always used wasn't in there. Most of the spanking toys I knew as well but there were a couple of ones I hadn't seen as well. A very nasty looking lash with leather thongs that were knotted at the end and what looked to be a brand new bull whip that was still coiled up. I got rid of everything except for the baby wipes and paper towels that she had in the top left drawer. The cream that she would use after she had spanked me, and the rubber gloves went into the bag as well along with several tubes of K-Y jelly.

I know I am making this sound like I was calm and composed throughout all of this I was not by any stretch. I would start crying and shaking so bad that I would have to stop for a minute or two and sit down until it passed.

I found the cane in the back corner of the closet. I knew that I couldn't fit it in the bag but I figured I could just toss it into the dumpster. Katie had some clothes in there as well but there were no more of her toys. I went into the bathroom and gathered up the enema bags and tips. I went back to the playroom and was just about to start moving the stuff out to my vehicle when I looked at the bench. I knew that the straps had to go as well. I turned the bench on its side so I could see what I needed to get them off. I carried the one full bag up to the entranceway and went down in the basement where I knew she had a toolbox.

I got a hammer, couple of screwdrivers and a pair of wire cutting pliers. After heading back to the playroom, I went to work and when the bench was done, I turned it back over and added the straps and screws to the bag. I took the wire cutting pliers, used them to cut far enough into the cane so that I could snap it into pieces, and those went into the bag as well. Then I took one last look around the playroom. I never fully understood her reasons for having a room like this but it was a part of who Katie was. As I remembered that first night that she brought me in there and how scared I was, I started crying again. I went over and turned on the nightlight before I gathered up the tools and the trash bag, then I turned off the main light and closed the door.

I left the bag out in the hallway and returned her tools to the basement. I had to take a piss so I went into the bathroom and after finishing that, I did a quick check in there. One more tube of K-Y jelly was in one of the drawers of the sink cabinet but that was it. There was small shelf along side of the sink and on there were her bottles of perfume. The one I had gotten her for her birthday was still about half full. Those I left in the bathroom along with my razor and toothbrush.

There was still some room in the trash bag but I decided that I was going to get my clothes out of the first bedroom before I went through Katie's bedroom. I went in there and emptied the drawers. The clothes that I brought down over the weekend were washed and in there. I went to the closet and my shirts and pants from last week were already washed and ironed as well. Which was strange, because Katie always did the laundry on Thursdays. As I pulled the hangers out of the closet I saw a package wrapped in gold foil paper sitting up on some luggage that she kept in the corner. I had been in the closet over the weekend and I didn't remember seeing it then. I pulled it out and there was an envelope taped to the front with my name on it. I pulled the envelope off and opened it. Inside was a card that Happy Anniversary printed on the front.

I opened the card and inside she had written, "Tony. It has been a beautiful year and I know that they will keep getting better. Love Katie."

I started crying again as I walked over and sat down on the bed. I set the card down and opened the package. Inside was a bathrobe that was the same shade of green as the pajama's that I had gotten her for Christmas. It was made of a thick and heavy velour fabric and had my initials were embroidered on the front in white thread. Inside at the top was a white label with gold thread embroidery from some store in New York and I knew that it had to have cost her a lot of money.

"Damn it!" I cried, "This just isn't right!"

After a few minutes I got up off the bed and got another bag. I put the bathrobe and the card into that one. The wrapping paper I just rolled up and stuffed in the bag with the toys. I started taking my clothes out to the passenger seat of my car and then I made one last check of the bedroom, turned off the light and closed the door.

Then I went into Katie's bedroom. Of all the rooms I knew that this was going to be the hardest and damn if that feeling didn't get stronger as I walked in there. I knew she had some K-Y jelly in the one night table drawer so I got that out. I checked the other one and in there was a small vibrator. Both of those went into the bag. I checked the one dresser that had her regular clothes in it and there was nothing in there, and then I did a quick look in her closet but I didn't see anything.

I went to her lingerie dresser next. I started crying as I felt around in her top panty drawer and then the second one, but I didn't dig around too deep. The third drawer had her bras and stash of both pantyhose and stockings, but nothing else. I opened the bottom drawer. On the left were her corsets, garter belts, in the middle were some slips and camisoles, but on the right were the green pajama's that I gave her for Christmas. Katie always hand washed all of her silk pajamas, put them on hangers to dry, and kept them in her closet. I had this feeling like she did this as some kind of signal to me, but how could she know that something like this was going to happen? I moved the pajama's over to the side and there was the box that had her father's hairbrush in it. She had told me that this was where she kept it but she would always get it out and put it back in. I saw a piece of white paper sticking out of the one end of the box.

I reached down and lifted the box out of her drawer. I opened the lid and there was a folded piece of paper. Written in big letters in Katie's handwriting on the front was "Tony." I unfolded the paper, at the top was written "Monday, October 26, 1981" and this is what followed.

My dearest Tony.

I know that by the time you are reading this that something terrible has happened to me. On the way home from work today, I had one of my premonitions. It was so damn strong and it was about me. I've been trying to shake the feeling all evening but it isn't going away. I know I am going to die soon.

I am so damn scared.

Tomorrow I am going to see an attorney who is a friend of mine to get a will made. There is a metal box under the bed that has all of my important papers and I will put the will in there. There are also some things for Mom in the box. If you are at our house before she gets here please put the box on the dining table. She knows that it is under the bed as well. I am going to put in the will that you can have anything you want from our house.

I put an anniversary present for you in the closet of the first bedroom. I am so sorry that I won't be there to see your face when you open it. If you don't want anything else, at least take your whiskey. I know that you will be needing it, but please don't do anything stupid. I want you to keep the box and the hairbrush as well. I know that I never told you about it, but it doesn't really matter now. Also, if you get to our house before Mom does, please clean up the playroom? Mom doesn't need to have to deal with all of that.

There are so many things I wanted to tell you. This past year has been the most wonderful year of my life. I was so looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together but now, that isn't going to happen. But know this, no matter where I am, that I will be there for you. I mean this with all of my heart Tony. I love you and I will always love you. Forever and ever and ever.

Katie

I started shaking again and that feeling like someone was in the room got really strong. I started crying and added a few of my tears to the bottom of the paper where I could see the faint stains from her tears as well.

I got angry and screamed, "Why Katie? Why?"

I could not believe that she had known that something was going to happen to her and she never once let on. But there it was on the paper. I slumped down on the bed and again cried for a long time. I didn't know what to think or to do.

Again I managed to pull what was left of my sanity back together. I sat up, got off the bed, dropped to my knees, and found the metal box and I carried that out to her dining table. I went back to her bedroom, read the letter one more time, folded it up, and put it back in the box with the hairbrush. I picked that up and grabbed the last bag of stuff that I was getting rid of and started to leave the bedroom. I looked around and then realized that I had left the drawer open that I had gotten the hairbrush box out of. I let go of the bag, walked over there, and as I started to move the pajama set back down in the drawer I had a crazy thought. I picked it up, closed the drawer with my leg, and walked over to the bed. I set the box to one side and after I carefully laid out the pajamas on her bed I went over and turned on her nightlight. I don't know what I was thinking, it was like I was hoping that she would come home and find these and know that I had been there. I got the box and the trash bag. I looked around her bedroom one more time and remembered all the great times we had in there. The tears were flowing once again as I turned off the room light and closed the door.

I walked down the hall and after going outside again, I put the last bag in the bed of my vehicle and shut the tailgate. I added the box to the pile of items that were sitting on the passenger seat. I went back inside to where Katie kept the liquor and got the rest of the whiskey that was there. I stopped at the table and set them all down. I was going to have another shot but decided to wait until I got back to my apartment. I got my business card case out of my pocket, pulled one out and wrote on it, "Call me please." and I left it on top of the box. I didn't know how I was going to find out about what her mother was going to do for a funeral. I hoped that she would come here and find this before it happened. I could lock the front door without using the key so I pulled out my key ring and took the key to her house, our house as she been calling it, off the ring and laid it on top of my card. I got the shot glass, walked over to the sink, rinsed it out, dried it, and put it back in the cabinet. Just like Katie would have wanted me to do.

"Damn it to hell!" I said softly as that feeling came back over me again.

I went back and got the rest of the whiskey. I looked around one last time and turned off the lights in the living room, dining area, and then the kitchen. I went out to my car and put the bottles on the floor. I walked back over to the front door. I reached in and turned off the light in the entranceway and the front door light. I turned the lock and waited a few seconds before I pulled the door closed. I got in my car, started it and backed out on the street.

I took the long way back to my apartment and drove as slow as I could. Fortunately there was no one behind me the whole way up there. It took me a number of trips to empty out the clothes and other items from the passenger seat after I got there. I put everything away and took the bathrobe out of the trash bag. I got the card out of the bag as well. I held the robe for a long time before I got up and put it on a hanger in my closet. I went to the kitchen, got a glass, and poured a pretty good amount of whiskey into it, then I went out to my chair and sat down. The whiskey soon disappeared but not the feeling of total despair that was gripping my mind. I started shaking and the crying started as well. It was not fair! How could God or whoever decided such things, put Katie through a week of what had to be total hell like that was just unbelievable. Plus the fact that I had met the love of my life and then had her ripped away from me like this? At some point I managed to walk to the bed. I didn't even get undressed, I just lay there crying until finally I fell asleep.