KAT FINALLY FOUND HER NIGHTGOWN, and slipping it over her head, she growled in frustration. Reliving her brazen attitude that August night was not going to help her body discard the faint residue of Gus that was left after this evening's kiss. As she stood over the sink brushing her teeth, she looked up at her reflection and sighed.
"Stop this," she admonished herself. She needed to talk to someone, but she knew Audra would still be at the bar, and she couldn't talk to Jett - not about Gus. Jett didn't know anything about Gus. Kat racked her brain. Who would understand? To whom could she turn?
She quickly crossed into the living room and dialed her father in hospital. Nervously, she bit her thumbnail as she listened to the phone ring. It seemed to go on endlessly before he picked up.
"Hi, Pop," she began in a rush. "I hope I'm not disturbing you. I know it's late, but I really needed to talk to someone."
Her father's low tutting reassured her that all was well. "Katie, honey, you're 27 years old. And I'm poked, prodded, and drugged every 15 minutes like clockwork. The nurses here are sadistic," he whispered. Then he started laughing.
Kat laughed back. "Pop!" she exclaimed. "They're just trying to do their jobs! Your nurses aren't sadistic; they're thorough. Which is fine by me — especially if it helps you heal. One of my best friends is a nurse, and you've never said Jett was sadistic. And anyway, haven't you always told me that it's bad manners to call at," Kat glanced at the DVR's clock, "8:45?"
Her father laughed. "Only when you're calling someone who has stuff to do and places to be. Which I don't," he said. "My life is one boring rehabilitation session after another, so I'm anxious to hear what has you seeking my advice after hours. Is it one of your friends? Is it Jett?"
"Yes, kind of," Kat answered shakily. "It's about Gus. Do you remember him?"
Kat knew her father would remember Gus. When her father had fallen six weeks prior, breaking his leg in two places, Gus had leant Kat immeasurable support. When she learned that the fall was the result of a massive heart attack, Gus had held her for the endless hours she spent in shock. After a few days, when her father's illness worsened, when he had a stroke and then another heart attack, Gus let her practice shaving on him so that she wouldn't nick her pop. Gus had walked around with cuts on his face for a week.
In that short time together, Kat thought a real partnership had grown between them. After that first night, they never did anything more than hold hands, hug or kiss, but she knew he was a man she could trust. More than that, she suspected that he was a man she could be with for the rest of her life. Even in the face of everything going on with her father, Gus made her feel strong and resilient and able to face whatever lay ahead. Gus allowed her to let go, to be silly, and to find joy in small moments. How many nights had they spent dancing in the kitchen or laughing over tv shows? How many nights had he stroked her hair and held her close as she cried? How many nights had Gus obviously wanted more, never asking for what she couldn't give?
"I thought," Kat whispered, "that all of the things he did for me were wonderful - thoughtful and beautiful, and they made me feel so special. I was falling in love with him. I fell in love with him, even though we had only been together intimately that one time. But I couldn't tell Jett. It was eating me alive to keep it from her. He and I argued about it, actually. A lot. He wanted to tell her. But then you got really bad. I came home. I took time off from work because it was more important for me to be with you. Gus couldn't do that. I wouldn't expect him to do that; it wasn't as if we were really dating. I didn't even ask him - that would have been silly.
"But a month is a long time. I hadn't seen him since I got back, and Jett called me about a week and a half ago to say that she was really depressed. I didn't want to trump her feelings by bringing up everything with you, so I listened, you know? And, Pop, she started to cry because Gus had gone on a date with this insanely beautiful woman. Becca. Jett had seen them out, and then, a few days later, he had come to her. He told her he had just met someone. That he had fallen in love with her right off the bat.
"And you know what? The worst part is that he hasn't called me once. He hasn't told me at all. Well except tonight when he regaled us all with stories of the magical Becca. The dick. And I can't call him. So I've just let it go. Because fuck him, you know? I feel so pathetic. And so angry - with him, yes, but mostly with myself. For getting my hopes up, for being so stupid, for thinking he was different."
Kat's father listened in silence. A few moments passed before he asked, "He told you about dating Becca tonight?"
"Yes." She paused. "Well, no. He told us about Becca, but he didn't say they were dating. Exactly."
"But something happened between you?"
"Yes."
