WHEN KAT GOT HOME, she locked the bolt and, without turning on a single light, headed straight for her bedroom. She slowly stripped out of her navy jersey dress, hanging it carefully in the closet. Then she set about searching for her favorite nightgown; as she knelt beside the bed and ran her hand underneath in pursuit, all her control crumbled.
"Shit!" she exhaled.
Gus could not become a problem for her again. It had taken the past two months to forget the first time he had kissed her. It might take a lifetime to forget the weeks that followed their first kiss. Despite everything, Gus had been good for her. She had loved being with him, exploring a side of herself she didn't know existed. She had been a little wilder, a lot freer, and she wasn't quite sure she'd ever get that back. Kat settled back onto her heels, her hands braced against the side of the mattress. "Shit, shit, shit!" she cursed.
The memories of that first night, in the height of the August heat, came flooding back. Audra had had a hankering for a cold drink and a warm bed, so the two of them headed to a favorite pub down by the water. It was the kind of place that would be filled with single men and few women; a little dark and very dirty, The Horse suited Kat just fine. The bar might look unsavory, but it was completely safe. Audra could find someone to scratch her itch, and Kat could order a lager with lemonade, watch the game on every television, eat handfuls of peanuts, and throw the shells on the floor. She could also flirt outrageously with all the bartenders and laugh as loudly as she wanted before heading home alone.
That particular night, the girls got to the pub around 11, a little drunk off their wine from dinner. As they settled into two stools by the bar, Kat noticed a rather fit looking guy across the way. Not wanting Audra to see him just yet, Kat stared appreciatively. He was tall, about 6'1" she guessed, and muscular in that unaffected way that only men seem able to pull off. "God," she whispered when he turned around. His face was remarkable, full of angles, high cheekbones, and deep set bluish grey eyes. He had the perfect amount of scruff along his chin and a floppy piece of dark hair that fell onto his forehead. And his smile -- a little lopsided but completely genuine and dazzlingly bright -- was utterly disarming.
He was at the other end of the bar, seemingly engrossed in the baseball wrap-up that was playing on the television. Every chance Kat got, she'd look over at the man. He was frustratingly attractive and proving to be quite distracting. She could barely keep track of Audra's stories.
"What is going on with you?" her friend asked, bemused. "I haven't seen you this distracted since we were 15 and you fell in love with our French teacher."
"Oh my god," Kat poked Audra. "That's not true! And I won't argue with you about Monsieur D'Arleux again. I didn't fall in love with him; it was a crush. You had one, too. Hell, most of the boys had crushes on him! He was super hot and a former pro-soccer player. And, anyway, I'm not distracted. I'm intrigued by that guy over there. He's definitely the hottest guy I've ever seen at this place. I can't stop looking at him."
Audra dramatically turned around and stared at the stranger. She ran her eyes down his body. "He is pretty hot," she conceded. "I'd do him. But," Audra smiled, "I see that you would really like that for yourself, and you need a good romp more than me, so I'll be charitable. Let's call him over."
Kat smacked her friend's arm, and turned back to the bar whispering, "Please! The minute he sees you, Audra, he won't want anything to do with me. You're the exotic, impetuous, crazy fun one with the sexy international career. I'm drab and boring. And predictable. No one wants that."
Audra smiled at her friend, "You're such a dope. And I don't think he even knows I'm here, not the way he's looking at you right now." Audra fanned herself, then sat up straight on her barstool. "Katie, how long exactly have you been staring at him? Oh! Shit, don't tell me now. He's coming over!"
Kat swirled around on her stool and was confronted with the man's chest. Raising her eyes, she saw that he was even more gorgeous up close. She was sure that she was blushing like crazy, and she had to remind herself to breathe. Why had he come over? Kat desperately re-examined her behavior since arriving at the pub -- perhaps she had been staring too often, perhaps he had noticed her. It did seem that she caught him looking at her a couple of times. She had brushed it off, convinced that he couldn't possibly be interested in her. Still whatever had happened, he was standing in front of her now, dangerously close.
"Hey," he said, his eyes sparkling.