Part Two of Three
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PURE BARRY
Author's note: I wanted to include as much 'Scottish' dialogue and slang as I could, but the Word grammar program gave me fits, so I settled for interjecting occasional slang and a few, limited 'Scottish' exchanges.
I. THE GLASWEGIAN SISTERS
We arrived in Glasgow, late afternoon on a Sunday. Derrick would be in meetings through mid-Friday. He had arranged for a tour guide to show us the sites during the week. Monday morning at 7 a.m., Derrick left for his meetings. Our guide met us for breakfast at the hotel restaurant at 8:30 as prearranged.
Sophie was a bubbly, young woman in her mid-twenties. She was petite, probably 5'-2" and 110 pounds, pretty, and somewhat shapely with roughly a gymnast's physique. She wore her light-brown hair in a short, stylish cut - she was not hard on the eyes. The young woman who arrived with her, was a different story.
"I hope you don't mind; my sister, Lily, will be joining us. She is working up to be a tour guide and as you say, 'I'm showing her the ropes'."
Elaine answered, "She is quite welcome; the more the merrier, as we also say."
I didn't mind...Where Sophie was pretty, Lily was beautiful, gorgeous! At about 5'-5" and maybe 125 pounds, she was still somewhat petite, with a diminutive version of an hour-glass figure. Though wearing a knit-wool sweater, the swell of her breasts was evident as was her small waist in the somewhat form-fitting top. Her hips flared out nicely, and her snug leggings revealed perfectly sculpted legs. Her angelic, porcelain-smooth face, was highlighted by crystalline, light-green eyes, a well-proportioned nose, a delicate chin and a small mouth with shapely, full lips. Her beautiful face was perfectly framed by very long, honey-hued auburn hair, worn in a loose ponytail and swept forward over one shoulder. Okay, maybe I'm drooling on the paper a little, but the sister was stunning.
"Hello and thank you. I promise I won't be a nuisance," Lily said, apologetically. Both sisters spoke in high, lilting, melodic voices - very pleasant to listen to.
"Nonsense," Elaine remarked, "We're glad you're joining us."
"Nice to meet you both," I put in.
Sophie recommended we have a 'full Scottish breakfast' as we would need the energy. It consisted of bacon, square 'Lorne' sausage patties, 'tattie' scones (in place of 'American' hash browns), baked beans, eggs and orange juice. Elaine added hot tea and I added coffee.
After breakfast, we started out from our hotel by subway, traveling to the city center, then walking about downtown to see a few of the significant sites. Though petite, with shorter strides, our guides were not slow of foot; even with my longer stride, I was kept moving; and Elaine, I think, was ready for a break by the time dinner rolled around. I discovered 'dinner', which is taken around 1-2 p.m., is their main meal. I was glad we walked off breakfast because dinner was just as filling. Our guides had haggis, neeps
(mashed turnips)
and tatties
(mashed potatoes),
along with an iced glass of Scotch whiskey, which surprised me. Elaine and I tried Scotch meat pies with tatties, and passed on the whiskey. Elaine had the strong Scottish tea with milk and sugar, and I took advantage of the available espresso drinks, having a couple lattes. Enough about food; just wanted to give you a 'taste' of our introduction to Scottish cuisine.
At dinner, my accident and resulting health issues came up and I had to fill them in. Other than their condolences and expressions of sympathy, they were surprisingly non-plussed and didn't react as dramatically as many do, rather injecting humor into the conversation.
Sophie chuckled, "I don't know if losing your memory is so awfully bad; there's a lot of things I've done I'd rather forget."
Lily chided her, "That's because you drink too much and do the most embarrassing things. Of course, I'm surprised you remember them at all."
"Lily, I'll pop you. Do you want me to start tellin' your secrets?"
"Okay, truce." Lily turned to us, "Sophie's actually a stalwart example of decorum and self-restraint...except when she's blootered!"
"What happened to 'truce', you huddy
(lame brain)
. Don't suppose you mind if I tell them about your penchant for running around at parties in your knickers..."
"That was one time, and completely accidental," Lily quickly protested, blushing.
Elaine and I were cracking up, and this running dialogue between the sisters continued to our amusement for the rest of our time together. As we continued our sightseeing and visiting along the way, I discovered that where Sophie was bubbly and less self-restrained, Lily was a bit more reserved and introspective, thinking before she spoke, but lively, nonetheless.
We learned that Sophie was the younger sister at 25; that she had graduated Uni the previous year and began the tour guide gig until she found other employment. But along the way, decided she enjoyed it so much that she was going to continue with it for the foreseeable future.
We also learned that Lily, 28, had quit her last job a few months ago and was trying the tour guide occupation to see if she wanted to do it full time, or at least until something else came up.
Tuesday, we explored Sauchiehall Street with its numerous high-end shops and finished at 'West End' where we had a light snack at one the trendy cafes before returning to the hotel.
While we were eating, we talked about our individual lives, including how Sophie became a guide and how Lily came to join her.
"So, Lily, if I understood correctly, you quit your last job?" I questioned.
"Yes, um, see I was working in the same office as my fiancé and when we broke up, I didn't want to be there anymore. It was too awkward."
"Sorry to hear that," I replied.
"Awkward? I'll say!" Sophie added, "The dobber was playin' sink the link with another burd in the same office."
(Dobber - dickhead) (Burd - female; and yes, it's spelled with a 'u'.)
"Sophie! Really; stopper your gob," Lily protested.
"Well, the huddy was," Sophie continued.
(Huddy - in this context = idiot)
"But you don't have to advertise it."
Sophie changed the subject, "So, Josh, have you a love interest back home?"
"Sophie, really?" Lily scolded.
"How else am I going to find out if he's available?"
"Crivens, you've no limits," Lily complained.
(Crivens - Wow; Good grief; Oh my...)
"Ye ken I deh," Sophie laughed.
(You know I don't.)
"It's okay. I guess I'm very available. After the accident, I spent quite a few months recovering from my injuries, and after that, I guess as a result of my amnesia and mental issues, I found it difficult to socialize, especially with women. It's only been recently that I've overcome some of that. Until a few months ago, I was kind of living like a hermit."
"Sorry, Josh, I shouldn't have pried. Lily's right, I've a big gob and don't know when to stopper it. But I'm glad to hear you're available," she grinned.
I think I blushed, and Lily punched Sophie in the arm.
As we ate and talked, I caught myself looking at Lily and admiring her beauty. I was captivated by her unusual light-green eyes, which were perfectly framed by auburn eyebrows a shade darker than her hair. Occasionally, when I would glance her way, I would catch her eyeing me, and she would look away, a bit embarrassed. There was no denying I was attracted to her, and I was beginning to think she was attracted to me.
We continued sightseeing through Thursday. We took in George Square and the Merchant City district; Kibble Palace (No, it's not dedicated to pet food) and the Glasgow Botanic Gardens; the People's Palace and the Winter Garden, along with other attractions. All the while, I found myself more and more attracted to Lily; not just to her beauty, but to her. I had never had this reaction to a woman and didn't understand it. And though subtle, she gave signs that she felt something for me.
By dinner on Thursday, Elaine was gassed and said as much. After dinner, she retired to the hotel to wait for Derrick. After we saw Elaine back to the hotel, we continued to Kelvingrove Park and took in the Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum. As evening came on, the girls suggested we hit an authentic Scottish Pub, the Islay Inn, located just south of the park.
They were excited to take me there and said I would get a more authentic pub experience than most of the pubs nearer the center of the city. Being a Thursday night, the place was not too crowded, but lively, nonetheless. We found a comfortable table, just as four musicians set up to play. The girls told me it was an 'ad hoc' band - just some friends getting together to play; that the 'professional' bands played on Friday and Saturday. This group played a lively mix of traditional Scottish music, adding to the 'authentic' atmosphere. They were not mic'd up so they weren't too loud.
We sat and visited with locals, and at my request, didn't bring up my amnesia. When the musicians broke up, the pub quieted down to a moderate drone of conversations and was more to my liking.
When Sophie and Lily discovered I liked beer but wasn't too keen on whiskey, (which they spell 'whisky') they made it their mission to introduce me to all the Scottish beers in the pub, starting with their 'national' beer, Tennent's, the brewery of which, is in downtown Glasgow. After that, I got to sample some craft beers then some 'cask' ales. I loved the cask ales which were very flavorful. They lacked some of the carbonation of beer and were served at about room temperature; nevertheless, they were my favorites and what I stuck with after all the tastings.
So, we sat and chatted with several people, different ones at different times. Americans were not a complete novelty here, but being a Yank, plenty of Glaswegians were interested in 'having a blether' with me. Occasionally, I would have difficulty understanding some of them, requiring Sophie or Lily to translate a thing or two for me. With all the beer, I was fortunate this place had a good menu of 'pub grub'. For the record, this was the most alcohol I had consumed at one sitting in my 'new' memory, and probably in my life. Also fortunately, it was at a leisurely pace as we were there for almost three hours drinking, eating and 'having a blether' as they call chatting.
"I think I've had it," I informed them, "Don't know if I can even stand up."
Sophie laughed, "Ye're oot yer face!"
Lily said, "You Yanks, such lightweights. We'll get you home, then."
Sophie suggested, "Our flat's just a short way. We could walk there and get sobered up in the process. I have coffee, and could put some on if you like?"
"Sounds like a plan," I answered.
When I stood, I found out just how drunk I was. The room swayed - actually, it might have been me.
"Here, we got 'cha," Sophie remarked as they each hooked an arm, and we headed out.
We had to be a sight leaving the pub, the tall Yank with two short lasses holding him up. I'm sure there were some comments that would have made my ears burn.
II. TRUTH OR DARE
It was a crisp night and the cool air felt good. It turned out a 'short way' was almost a mile, and I was well on my way to sober by the time we got to their apartment. The sisters shared a small two-bedroom flat in a large apartment complex. We took the stairs up to the fourth floor - as therapy for me.
When we got to the apartment, Sophie unlocked the door, then headed straight to the kitchen to make coffee. Lily went to the back of the flat and unlocked a door leading to a small balcony. Sophie brought the coffee to the balcony. I was feeling better, but it was welcome. She also brought out some smoked salmon and 'plain bread', a white bread that has no crust on the side, kind of like a dinner roll in loaf form. We gathered around a small table and looked out at the city lights that seemed to stretch forever. It was a calm evening and very pleasant, if a bit chilly.
"So, Josh, how did you like the pub?" Lily asked.
"It was a blast; different from most of the bars I've been to in America. I was surprised to see so many families in there (no children, though), and just how friendly everybody was."
Lily explained, "Yes, pubs are a regular gathering place for us. On given nights you'll find the same folks visiting, some drinking, some snacking, and of course, everybody's having a blether."
"And you were quite the hit," Sophie remarked, "You didn't ask a lot of the silly questions that many tourists ask, like, 'Why aren't any of the men wearing kilts?' and, 'Why isn't there a set of bagpipes in the band?' You'd be surprised at what some come up with," she laughed.
"And you were a hit with the lasses," Lily added.
"What, really?" I asked, surprised. I hadn't noticed.
