Julie's Scar

It was lunch, and I was going to sit and eat with her. Everyone had told me she had some sort of scar, and was very standoffish because of it. Apparently she was quite self-conscious because of that scar. Her brown hair was brushed so it covered the right side of her face, and she perpetually kept her head down, trying to cover it.

I had only worked there three months, and knew I hadn't fit in. I was too strange for them. I didn't care about sports, could care less about politics, or celebrity who is sleeping with who nonsense. I worked there, with them, and her.

I was a truck driver, we worked at a warehouse, and I drove the truck that backed the trailers to the doors, and pulled the trailers out when they were loaded, or unloaded, as required. I spent a lot of time just hanging around, but was tolerated because I could hit even the tough to access doors on the first try. So no time lost waiting for the driver to get his act together.

I sat down across from Julie at the picnic table behind the warehouse. I smiled and said "Hello, I'm Paul, and you are supposed to be Julie right?"

She nodded slightly, and nibbled at her salad.

"I have been here about three months, and near as I can tell, have met and talked to everyone except you, so I thought I would stop by and say hello." I said cheerfully.

She mumbled something. It sounded like "Hello."

I chatted while I ate my sandwich, talking about the weather, we were in a drought in Georgia, and that subject was summed up in a minute.

After I had been babbling on with small talk for about 15 minutes, Julie looked up at me and I was astonished to see anger in her eye. She was angry. She was mad at me.

"Come to see the scar?" she demanded, and she had said the first words to me in full volume, and her voice was full of anger.

"No, I came to each lunch with you. I've eaten with everyone else, and." I started, but didn't get to finish.

"Bullshit, you can't lie to me, you want to see what I am, take a look, take a good look at the freak." She pulled her hair back from her face exposing her scared cheek. Her scar was a burn scar, apparently from some car accident or another. It was on the right side of her face, and ran from her light blue eye to her jaw line. Her eye appeared to droop because of it. I glanced at it and then looked her in the eye.

"That isn't who you are, scars don't define who we are, just where we've been." I said.

She looked at me shock evident on her face, and lowered her hair, and then her head. She stood and walked back into the building.

I finished the day, expecting to be called into the office and informed that I didn't work there anymore. Well, I've been fired before, and for better reasons than trying to be nice to someone. I wasn't called into the office, and punched the clock as I left for the day.

The next morning I saw her. Julie did data entry, from a small cubby office near the managers office. She was in the warehouse and not the office now, and glanced at me a couple times while talking to the Foreman. I waved and she gave me a shy wave back, with a small hint of a smile.

At lunch, I went back to the table in the back lot. It was really set up for the smokers, but they all smoked near the door, and didn't bother walking out here. I saw Julie sitting there, and kept walking toward the table.

"Hi Julie, how are you doing today?" I asked cheerfully.

"Ok, and you Paul?" Julie said with a stronger voice than yesterday.

"Fine, no complaints so far." I said.

I pulled out my sandwich and saw she was working on some soup and she kept glancing at me.

Julie and I sat like that for about half the lunch hour and then she said "Did you mean what you said about the scars not being who we are?"

"Yes, if you have heard of me from the others, you know I only say what I mean, perhaps not as well as I would like, but you get the point." I told her.

"Yeah, I've heard that. They said you won't tell a lie period." Julie said.

"I may not volunteer information, but that's not lying, that's merely reserving something." I said.

"So you don't think the scar is horrible?" Julie asked her voice brittle and very thin.

"No, you were hurt badly once, that is what the scar says about you. It doesn't say you are a nice person. Your actions say that. It doesn't tell the story of who you are, just what happened that day you were hurt." I said and placed a chip into my mouth.

"Thanks, it's very nice of you to say that." Julie said.

We ate lunch in silence, and then went back to work. The next day I again ate lunch with Julie, and on Thursday, I asked her out.

"Julie, I know you probably have plans, but I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me tomorrow?" I asked her.

"You aren't asking me out on a date are you?" she asked me, her voice again brittle.

"Sure, I mean, I know I'm only a trucker, and can hardly be a great date, but if you aren't busy, yes, I'm asking you out." I said.

She looked at me, we had spent some time over the last few days looking into each others eyes, well I looked into her left eye, her right was usually hidden in shadow from her hair.

I could see a tear forming in her eye, and couldn't understand, then I realized what she was thinking. Stupid me.

"Julie, I'm not trying to date your scar, I'm trying to take you to dinner, including if you don't mind me saying, your particularly attractive behind." I said.

"My behind, you mean my butt?" she said confused.

"Yes, It's a wonderful behind, absolutely lovely." I said.

She giggled at that, an honest to God giggle. "Are you crazy?" she asked laughing.

"No, I don't think so. Why?" I asked.

"No one looks at my ass." She said.

"I do, and since we are being honest, it's why I come by the office as often as I do to drop off the papers that don't need to be dropped off yet. I'm hoping you will be walking back to your own office." I said.

"You must be joking. You want to take me out?" she asked, her voice again soft and perhaps a little brittle, but not as thin and tight as before.

"No, I'm very serious Julie, if I was joking I'd say something like 'a man walks into the bar with a monkey' or some other silly joke."

She didn't answer, she finished her soup and giving me her home phone number said "Call me later, and we can talk about it, OK?"

I promised to do just that, and I meant it.

I called her, and we talked for a while, and we went out on Friday to dinner. I then asked if she would like to walk along the river downtown, and she agreed. We walked and talked, and chatted about our lives. Where we were from, how we grew up, places we have been, the usual things you talk about when on a date to get to know someone better. I took her home and walked her to the door, she lived with her friend Sarah, and I shook her hand on the porch. "Julie, I had a great time with you, and I hope we can do this again soon."

"OK, that would be great." She said shyly, and then ducked into the house.

I went to the car, and drove off toward my own small apartment.

I called her Saturday afternoon and we chatted some more. She invited me to dinner on Sunday, with Sarah and her boyfriend. I agreed quickly. Julie made me feel happy, and why not spend some time with her.

We had dinner on Sunday, and I saw a small nod of approval from Sarah about half way through dinner. I realized that I had passed the girlfriend test. Sarah's boyfriend Chuck was OK, one of those Army Ranger types who kept trying to impress me with how tough he was, I ignored him, I wasn't really there for any of them, although I liked Sarah, I was there to spend time with Julie.

We went outside onto the porch and sat talking for a long time. I kissed her gently, thinking it would be a great scene for our first kiss. She didn't respond. Her lips gave no motion. I looked at her eyes, and saw the tears forming again.

"Julie, I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't have done that. I wanted to all weekend is all." I said softly.

"It's OK, it's just that, well I haven't since the accident is all." She said.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked her. "I mean, If you want to tell me about it, I am here to listen, but you don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

Julie looked at me for a while and then said "I guess I do want to tell you about it. I was driving home from a friend's house late one night five years ago. I reached for a different CD to listen to and when I looked up I saw a deer in the road right in front of me. I swerved, but caught the deer with the corner of the car. It hit the windshield and I ended up in the ditch upside down." Julie paused and I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her close and holding her safe.

She continued her story. "I don't know how long I was out, but when I woke up the car was smoking. I was confused, didn't know where I was, you know."

I nodded and said "I can imagine how you felt waking like that."

She nodded back and said "The car caught on fire, I was struggling with the seat belt trying to get free, I was so scared." She paused again. "Someone, a man who was passing by kicked in the window, and was reaching in for me. The fire was inside now, and burning my jacket, I was wearing one of those denim jackets. I was screaming in pain and fear. I was so damn scared. When he pulled me out, the burning jacket was up against my face, and I got burned pretty bad."

I stroked her head and held her close to me kissing her forehead and whispering "It's OK now, your safe."

"The ER doctors told me I was lucky to be alive and essentially unharmed. A plastic surgeon said he could minimize the scar, but I can't afford it. Our insurance doesn't cover cosmetic surgery you know." She said.

"I know, and it doesn't matter, the scar isn't who you are, it tells the story of how lucky you were to survive, it shows how close you came to not being here at all." I said knowing it wasn't right, but not knowing how to say it any better.

"I'm lucky?" Julie asked.

"Yes, because if someone hadn't come and helped you out of the car, you probably would have died, and I don't think you would rather be dead would you?" I asked her.

"No, I guess not, but I'm disfigured and ugly." She said

I raised her up to look into her face and saw the tears running down her cheek. I reached out and brushed her hair back and she tried to turn and hide her face. I held her head, firmly, but not hard. I leaned in and kissed her scar, her cheek, gently, but again and again. Her hands came around me hesitantly, and then with more feeling. Soon she was gripping me tightly, like a drowning victim grasping at the life ring, desperate to live.

"There is so much more to you than this scar Julie, I wish you could look past it and see the beauty I see." I said and then pausing for a moment said "I am not as good with words as I wish I was. I wish I had the words to wipe away your pain, to take your fears and put them in a box. I'm just a guy who really likes you."

Julie looked into my eyes, and this time, when I kissed her she kissed me back. Our tongues met fleetingly, and then introduced themselves properly. Julie and I kissed for a long time on that porch, I was very careful not to move my hands below her shoulders and upper back. I knew she wasn't ready for that, and I knew that she was so special, I needed to be patient and move slowly, because that is what she needed.

We ate lunch the next day, sitting close and kissing good bye as we both went back to our individual jobs. I felt like I was walking on air, and every time I saw Julie, she was smiling. The guys in the warehouse watched on in silence. I don't know if they thought we were both freaks or what. I guess a couple of them weren't just normal guys. Perhaps they were happy to see Julie happy and smiling.

I took her out that week to get dinner twice, and we kissed long into the night on her porch.

I glanced up once to see Sarah smiling in the window at us and when I looked back, she was gone.

Friday night we were back walking along River Street, listening to the music played by the local bands, holding hands, and kissing now and then. We would sip our drinks, and walk along the river and just enjoying each others company.

I stopped by the statue of the Waving Girl, and took her into my arms. I looked her right in the eye and said "Julie, I have often wished I could say what I thought better than I do. I need you to do something for me."

"What?" She asked me.

"If you are going to break my heart, do it now, because I think I'm starting to love you, and I'd just as soon get the pain over with now than let it kill me later." I told her.

She looked into my eyes, and smiling widely threw her arms around me and said "I'm not going to break your heart, you're the sweetest man I have ever met in my life." Julie then hesitated and said "I think I love you too."

We went to my tiny loft apartment. She walked in hesitantly, and looked around carefully. I turned on a couple lights downstairs, and took some wine from the fridge. "I don't have a wine cooler, hell I don't know anything about wine really. I don't drink much." I said.

"We don't need the wine. I already know what I want." Julie said in a quiet voice.

I turned to her, the door to the fridge open, the wine bottle in my hand, and I looked at her. I walked to her, placing the wine bottle on the counter as I passed it. I took her into my arms, and kissed her.

I kissed her, my hands gripping her tightly. I moved her toward the stairs, and we barely made it up them, stumbling often, removing each others clothing, and our own. It was a confusion of arms, legs, cloth, and desire. We made it to the bed and I was in the grip of the most intense passion I had ever felt. I laid her down, and her hair spilled away from her face, and revealed the scar to the dim lighting from below. I didn't even look at it, instead looking at her eyes, her mouth, her neck and on down.

I wanted her more than anything in the world. I kissed her cheek, the scar, her lips and her neck. I worked down to her breasts, and took each nipple in turn. They responded and soon were hard little erasers, her small orange shaped breasts perfect, wonderful, and she gripped my head as I kissed and caressed her.

I licked my way down her body, my erection already so large as to be painful, but I wanted to pleasure her, to do everything I could to make her happy. I kissed my way down to her bikini panties which I hadn't removed yet. I tugged then gently down as she raised her hips to help me. I pulled them down her legs and let them fall to the ground, and I kissed her thighs. I began to lick and work on her vagina. It was so sweet and smelled vaguely of musk. I wanted her to stay like this forever, lit dimly from the lamps below us, legs spread, and moaning gently as I kissed and licked her slit.

She started to stroke my erection, and I moaned gently into her mound. She suddenly reached down and gripped me, dragging me back up, I turned and moved on top of her.

I had condoms in the drawer, they had been there for a couple years, but should still be good. I reached for the drawer and said "One second, I have protection here somewhere."

She took my hand away from the drawer, and looked deeply into my eyes. Then she reached down to my hips and pulled me upwards. My unit was already rubbing her slit, and her hand found it, and positioned it at the entrance to her love. She guided it into herself and her face reflected the want and desire I knew I felt. I entered her gently, and heard her gasp as it parted her lips and entered her tunnel.

"Oh God" I said as I pushed deeper, she was so wet, warm, it was like a velvet sheath for my pecker. I bottomed out, reaching her limit as my own was reached. It fit perfectly. Her head was thrown back, her neck exposed. I kissed her neck, licking and sucking, and then her lips, my passion nearly overcoming me as I began to gently move around, rolling my hips and rocking gently. Wanting this moment to last forever, a thousand years wouldn't be long enough.

Julie grabbed my back, her nails digging in, she was obviously in the grip of the same flame that ignited me. Her legs splayed widely, wrapping around my hips, pulling me deeper into her.

I began to move in and out, gently at first, then with more speed, and force. Her legs opened wide, giving me a free reign to pound into her. Her hands still gripped me, dragging me toward her. I kissed her scar, licking the ear, and she moaned out her lust.

I couldn't keep holding back, I needed to pound into her with abandon, like an animal which only mates once every five years, we began to fuck wildly. I was on my elbows, and gripped her shoulders fiercely from under her and began to pound into her. I couldn't hold back, there was nothing more gentle than how I had began, now there was nothing more violent then how we were going to finish.

"Yes, God yes." She said into my ear.

I felt myself getting close to the release, and I knew it wouldn't be long "Oh God, I'm going to cum." I said

She began to buck under me and moan gently, I could see she was already coming and I was happy to see it. Her hand's drug at me and she said "Yes, come on, Oh God."

I exploded, I remember learning in health class that a man's orgasm produces about a teaspoon full of semen. I know it was about that, but I swear it felt like gallons were pumping through me into her. My toes were digging into my sheets as I drove upwards into her. I gripped her tightly, my fingers digging into her shoulders, all my muscles contracting and straining.

I collapsed on top of her, drained of every last drop of energy. I became aware of her kissing my cheek and my neck. I turned my head toward her, and looked into her beautiful light blue eyes. They sparkled with energy, and I realized with love.

"I love you." She said

"I love you too." I said, and I just knew we were in love. I was also aware that she knew this too.

We rested for a moment, and then began again, this time, taking more time for foreplay. I caressed and kissed her all over, and she stroked and caressed me. I took her and rolled over putting her on top of me. I lay back and let her set the pace and motion she needed. She reached around and aimed me at her opening. She eased it in and then began to rock slowly on me. She let me sit up for a while, hugging and kissing her as she sat on me. I kissed and fondled her breasts as she had another orgasm.

When she had recovered, I rolled her over onto her back, and re-entered her. Bending my head to her nipples, I was able to lick and kiss them while maintaining my position within her. She squirmed in pleasure, enjoying my attentions, and enjoying the passion our love had brought us to. As her passion built again, so did mine, and I began to thrust more quickly into her. She bowed her back, giving me better access, driving her pelvis up toward me. I drove myself into her with abandon and with a desire I have never before experienced. The climax we both reached was one for the record books. Mount Everest can't possibly be any higher than our love was at that moment.

When I rose to use the bathroom and remembered the refrigerator, it was wide open all this time. I went down and decided the food was probably spoiled. It was a small price to pay for a night that was hopefully only the beginning. For the first time, I am looking at the future with hope, because a woman with a scar entered my life, and the idea of living day by day without caring about anything is now as repugnant to me as the idea of future planning was a few months ago.

I love Julie, and her scar. I hope to kiss it every day, and make her, make it better. Perhaps we can save enough money to have that surgery, and remove her scar, so the world will see the beauty I do. I don't know, but I do know that a future without her, well I don't even want to think about that possible future.