Sweet Judy and Blue Eyes
Things are never quite as scary when you have a best friend.
Bill Watterson,
Calvin and Hobbes
.
What has to be given up is not the I but that false drive for self-affirmation, which impels man to flee from the unreliable, unsolid, unlasting, unpredictable, dangerous world of relation into the having of things.
Martin Buber,
I and Thou.
Judy was Jack's first real love: the first love where he was in love with his partner more than he was in love with the drug that is love. Jack was majoring in Chemistry at State and Judy was majoring in Philosophy. They met at the campus coffee house on open mike night during their sophomore year. Jack and his friend Peter did their version of
Blue Eyes Smiling in the Rain
and Judy was there to support some of her friends doing
Greenland Whale Fisheries.
It turned out that they shared a love of folk music and many other things besides.
By the spring term of their senior year, they had clandestinely lived together for two years. Both lived in the Barrow, one of the dorm buildings on campus. Nominally, Jack had a roommate, but Jack was really living on the third floor in Judy's single.
Senior years are filled with many things, and one of the important things is figuring out what do after college. Both were honors students. Judy had applications out to law schools while Jack intended to chase a PhD in physical chemistry. They coordinated their applications, hoping to have the option of going to the same school.
At the same time, both were trying to figure out what to do if attending the same school wasn't an option. In bull sessions with his friends, Jack said that while he
wanted
to keep things going with Judy, it just might not be possible.
He was sitting at the Rathskeller with his friends. The place was beer bar in the Campus District that catered to students. He took a long drink of beer. "It would be unfair for me to ask her to tag along to Madison if I'm lucky enough to get in there and she doesn't get into their law school. Her dream school is Lawrence. Their chem program is good. If we both get in there, I guess I'll go. It's not as good as Madison, but it's okay.
"If we don't get in at the same place, I guess we have to go our own way. It will suck, but there are other people. It's not like we've tried to build a life together." This last was said a little bitterly: Jack wanted to get an apartment off campus for their senior year. Judy wasn't ready to tell her family she was living with Jack. They could live together in the Barrow while maintaining plausible deniability to their families.
--o--
When Judy talked with her friends, the conversation was similar but not identical. Earlier that day, she had lunch with her best friend Susie at the Banh Mi Bakery a couple of doors down from the Rathskeller. She sipped her tea. Susie asked her what she was going to do if staying together wasn't an option.
"I wish I knew, Susie. I really wish I knew. There's a part of me that says, 'You're young: move on with your life.' But my heart says, 'You belong together.'" Judy wiped away a tear. "I think if it comes down to the hard choice I want to stay with him. I hope he feels the same way.
"But I
really
hope it doesn't come to that."
"So do I, Judy. You two are
so
right together. You and Jack are talking about this, aren't you?" There was silence at the other side of the table. "Judy! You know better than this!"
"We talked about it a lot when we were doing applications. Once they went out, I've been scared to talk with him about it. I don't want to jinx it."
"Jinx it? Jesus Christ, you know better than that."
"Heads and hearts have different understandings, Susie."
--o--
Late in March, they got letters from Lawrence. Both of them had been accepted. Jack was offered a teaching assistantship. The assistantship would fund most of his education. Judy was accepted at the law school. There was no money with the offer at the moment, but there was a possibility of scholarships soon. They blew off dinner at the commons to dress up and go a nice restaurant for a small celebration. Jack wore a grey herringbone blazer and khaki chinos while Judy wore a navy A-line midi with a canary yellow shirt.
The waiter came and took their orders. Jack ordered prime rib, Judy decided to go with seared scallops and risotto. After he took their order, Judy went to the ladies' room. When she returned she slipped something into the right side pocket of Jack's blazer. While Jack reached into the pocket to see what she placed there, Judy ran her foot up Jack's calf. When he felt a clump of silky cloth his eyebrows arched and he looked across the table at her.
"Let's play. It's going to take twenty minutes to make the risotto," she said with mischief in her voice. The tablecloth extended well below the table top. By this time, the toe of Judy's pump was tickling the back of his knee. Her foot withdrew briefly but quickly returned without the shoe.
Jack shrugged, thinking, 'why not?' He slipped the loafer off his right foot and used his big toe to stroke Judy's lower calf. He slowly worked his way up her left calf and reached the upper part of her thighs when their salads arrived. Judy's foot was in his lap by then, her toes stroking his erection through his trousers.
"Would you like some pepper on your salad, Miss?" asked the waiter.
"Nno, thank you," said Judy.
"You sir?" the waiter waited a moment, but Jack didn't reply. "Excuse me, sir, would you like me to grind some pepper over your salad?"
Jack got his attention away from his lap, "Yes, please. Just a couple of grinds." Jack winked at Judy as his sock-clad toe reached its goal. He said to her, "Prehensile toes are a nice convenience, aren't they," as he began rubbing small circles at the top of her slit, trapping her clit hood between his toe and her pubic bone.
She was working on his cock through several layers of cloth: the trousers, his boxers, and her stockings. She spoke softly, "No fair, buck-o. You go get those boxers off and leave your fly open for me!"
Jack smiled sweetly. "I didn't start this game, m'lady." He smiled broadly as he added, "But I do intend to finish it." His toe started working faster in Judy's crotch. Her breathing got a little ragged as she was pushed up Mt. Climax. She switched to deeper, more regular breaths.
She began whimpering quietly, "Oh, god. Oh...oh...oh...ohhhhhhh." Jack reached across the table and took her hand, checking her pulse.
"Game over?"
"Yes, game over," she agreed.
The waiter came sailing over with their dishes on a platter. Their salads were untouched. "Was there a problem with the salads," he asked. Jack discreetly pulled his foot out of Judy's crotch, and slipped it back into the loafer.
Judy replied, "No, not at all. We got lost in conversation. Please leave them with the entrees."
"As you wish. Here are your scallops and risotto." He placed the plate in front of her, with four beautifully seared sea scallops and a large serving of creamy, starchy, cheesy rice. "And for you sir, prime rib, medium rare, as you requested, with
pommes frite
." The waiter scowled a little at the sight of the French fries on the plate. "Enjoy your dinners, please. Can I get you some more water?"
Jack said, "No, thanks. We are fine."
"Very well. I will check on you soon," the waiter said as he left to check on another table.
"He knows," said Judy. "He knows what we were doing."
"No," said Jack. "He may suspect, but suspicion isn't knowledge. The tablecloth goes all the way to the floor. Besides, what are they going to do? Kick us out and eat a $50 tab? As long we aren't obvious, we're okay."
Judy shook her head, saying, "I hope you're right. I want to bring my parents here at graduation." They tucked into their dinners, eating the entrees before the salads.
--o--
On March 30, Judy got a letter telling her she was not accepted at Madison's law school. Two days later, Jack got an acceptance letter from the Chemistry department at Madison with a two-year fellowship: he would have nothing to do except study. He felt trapped on the horns of a dilemma. He decided not to tell Judy for a day or two while he figured out what to do. If she'd been accepted at their law school it would all be easy. If he'd been turned down, it would be easy. But his nightmare was true: he had a better offer at a place she couldn't go.
When Judy returned to the room from her seminar, Jack was sitting in a chair with his Martin guitar noodling aimlessly with circular scales.
In bed that night, Judy kissed him passionately. "I love you, Jack."
He replied, "I don't feel very lovable right now, but I love you."
"Something's bothering you -- I can tell."
He laughed. "Am I that obvious?"
"You've been staring at the walls all night. Your book was open, and there is a pencil on the notebook but you haven't written a thing all night. Instead, you're sitting there playing modal scales when you
