-Katie
It has been 2 months and slowly Jim has faded away. It all started when I asked him, "I'm curious to see how you feel things are going?" I could tell he wasn't comfortable answering the question. He hid behind humor and called me his girl.
Jim was excellent at talking but not saying anything, committing but not to a timeline. I thought it was fair to ask because I was putting my life on hold for him but now I realize it was too soon. He was coming out of a bad marriage that he stayed in for too long. He was adamant about not leaving Florida because of his daughters. He was sure to point out that he had turned down advancement opportunities so he could be in his daughters' lives. I didn't get any indications he was serious about our relationship besides claiming that he wasn't sleeping with anyone and that eroded, too. Jim never brought up visiting Cincinnati and as I saw things deteriorating, I didn't press.
After asking about our status he started to slip away in stages. The first sign was when he moved our movie night to Thursday. When pressed, he explained on Friday nights he would be going out with coworkers to network. Then next to fade was his texts, and replying with one-word answers. Last to go was his FaceTime calls. As Jim pulled away I went on with my life. I wasn't going to sit on the sidelines like a wallflower pining for him. After 3 weeks, I was dating and in a month I was intimate with another partner. I would not allow myself to languish on hurt feelings. I felt everyone had saved face. I convinced myself that it was better this way rather than if Jim had torn the bandage away with a break-up conversation.
When it was quiet and I had time to think, I missed what we had. The sex was amazing. He anticipated my needs and put them before his own. The thing I missed most was our playfulness and banter. I was not able to find that connection with another. It wasn't really important to me until I lost it.
-Jim
Yeah, things went downhill with Katie. She asked me, "I am curious to see how you feel things are going?"
It was the perfect trap question. I had done some soul searching before she brought it t up. The reality is this thing we had didn't have legs. What we had was amazing but unrealistic to maintain. If I wasn't going to move to better my career, I was too grounded to move for an unproven relationship. She understood I was not mobile and Florida wasn't in her cards. She was proud of the career she had built for herself at the law firm. She was the most coveted paralegal in the firm. It was understandable that she couldn't just walk away. I picked up when she let it slip that the sand, heat, and humidity of Florida was disagreeable. She was special and for all I knew she could have been the one, but also, it was too soon and too fast. I hung in there for a couple of months but things didn't get better. I didn't think it was fair for either of us to visit and string this fairytale along. We faded and I was dating. I met some amazing women that kissed away the ouchy of leaving her behind. There were a few nights when my thoughts raced, Katie floated into my mind. I wasn't quick to dispel those memories. She was an important part of who I had evolved into.
-One Year Later, Jim
I am in Phoenix doing some extensive hiring so I was going to be in town for a bit. The company had been gracious enough to put me up in corporate temporary housing versus staying in a hotel. What they couldn't replace was my social life. I had built up a fair amount of 'friends'. I credit Katie for waking that side of me. Surprisingly, Alex had hit me up via a DM through social media. Initially I was perturbed that I hadn't cleaned up my tracks very well after Katie. She was very attractive, and my prospects were slim. She was hoping to catch up over dinner. It didn't take an arm twisting for me to agree. There was a twinge of dirtiness that hit me because we had met when Katie and I were seeing each other. I wrote those feelings off because I have had zero contact with Katie for just outside a year. Also, as we distanced from our time together, I downgraded what we had to a fling.
After a few texts, we agreed to have Mexican and just as friends. If I were in her shoes I'd be cautious, too. I hooked up with her friend and let her go. No doubt that would be the narrative from Katie's side. There was an element that had me question Alex's motives. I wrote those off too because well, I had a penis and was thinking with it. It was easy to hide behind the label 'Just as friends'.
We met up for dinner on a Friday night. Phoenix is known for its Mexican food and I couldn't get enough of it. I arrived first pushing aside any fashionably late bullshit thoughts. I needed to fly straight as an arrow. Alex showed and I tentatively flagged her down. Her athletic build was every bit as attractive as I had remembered from when I first met her. Her dirty blonde hair had grown out. She wore it down, framing her face. I am a huge sucker for eyes and those big baby browns sucked me in. Her outfit did not scream 'Friend'. She had taken the time to gussy up. She had a cute black spaghetti strapped dress. It was low cut enough to hint at cleavage. The lower hem was an inch above her tan knees. Her tan muscular legs were the sexiest I had seen in a long time. After leering I greeted her, "Wow, Alex you look great. Thanks for the invite to dinner." I flashed my boyish smile. I had become very adept at disarming women with my grin. It wasn't something I used often in adulthood so I never leaned on it now in my single days.
"Good to see you too. You seem to be holding up pretty good." She flashed her radiant smile. Her words had a "Down boy," effect. The dance begins.
She was more than pretty, she was gorgeous. Perhaps I had fuck goggles on because she had to be just as attractive as Katie. We chatted about her kids and how they were doing. I made sure to make solid eye contact and expressed body language to let her know 'Friendly' was not my end game. She broke eye contact often. This made it hard to get a good read off of her. If we ended parting our separate ways, I wouldn't be mad. She truly was good company. While not as playful as... Ugh, need to stop thinking about and comparing her to Katie. Alex was charming and warm, something any man would be drawn to. She played down several of my complements and put the sword in my heart when she mentioned, "Jim it is so refreshing to be able to hang out with you. I hope we stay friends and hope we can continue to hang out like besties."
Ouch, the friend zone. It was all good. I eased up on my flirting knowing definitely one night wasn't going to break down the serious wall she just threw up. I downshifted but didn't totally let up. She needed to know I respected her feelings but again that friendship wasn't my end game. She threw me for a huge loop when she brought up Katie, unsolicited. I bit and asked how she was doing. Alex brought me up to speed about her life. I didn't have any ill will so I listened attentively. It was a little weird. She was going at great length playing up Katie. I started to suspect her ulterior motive. I let out a huge sigh. "Alex, what is tonight about?" I cut to the chase.
Alex grinned, "Whatever do you mean Jim?" She raised an eyebrow and exposed her palms, feigning innocence.
"Okay, Alex I see your game. Katie and I were done a year ago. Let's let that lie. If that means we can't be friends, I get it." My smile was very uneasy boarding petulance. I leaned back, disengaging from the setup.
"No Jim, we can be friends. I see you as a friend and that is why I bring her up. I know she is not as happy as when she was with you." There was no coyness left, just honest concern.
"No, I get it. I look back very fondly about our time together." I stopped Alex because she saw blood in the water and was ready to pounce.
I lowered my finger that I had used to thwart her encroachment. "It just was an impossible situation. Orlando and Cincinnati are not a stone's throw away. We both have our careers and lives."
Now my body language started to display frustration. My shoulders hunched forward, my gaze became steely as I peered up through the tops of my eyes as my chin dropped. "I live in the real world and what we had was a fairytale."
With that, I pulled my money clip out and flipped bills out on the table to pay for dinner and a tip. "I really enjoyed the evening Alexandra. You are a charming woman. It's a shame I will not get a chance to know you better."
Alex got up and cut me off. "Jim don't, please stay." She could see she had negatively affected me and that her plans were going up in flames.
She wanted to make sure she didn't damage things beyond repair. "Jim, can we just talk. Yes, it was unfair I lured you here. Let's try this again." She paused, studying my face.
