Jimmy walked down for breakfast that morning, feeling that all eyes were on him and that everybody knew his secret. He sat down with his Father just as Winnie served them all breakfast. She sat down at the other end of the table with her meal. The Father always insisted that she ate meals with them at the table.
"So Jimmy," his father started speaking, "Winnie told me that you started running."
"Yes sir." Jimmy replied in a small voice. Not comfortable with the lie, certain that very soon he will be exposed.
"Did you enjoy it?"
"No, not really," Jimmy answered as he imagined he would feel had he really been running that morning, instead of getting a mind blowing head job from Winnie.
"I thought you told me you enjoyed it," Winnie uncharacteristically cut into the conversation, greatly enjoying the double meaning here comment implied. They both turned and looked at Winnie. It's not that she would not get involved in the conversation around the table, but it was usually about the daily schedule, or arrangements for dinner or shopping, not matter of parental discussions.
"Well I went just this once. This morning. Just to see what it's like." Jimmy stammered, not sure if Winnie was going to expose him in front of his Father, but her face did not display anything other than genuine interest in his run.
The Father turned back to Jimmy. "Well? Did you like it?"
Jimmy looked from Father to Winnie and back to his Father. "Yes, it was a bit scary at first, but in the end it was great." Jimmy decided to carry on with the double meaning and at the same time not having to have to lie to his Father.
"Scary?" his Father was a little perplexed but returned to his breakfast as Jimmy and Winnie exchanged knowing looks across the table.
"I had a friend at school," Winnie, unusually talkative this morning, continued her comments. "He trained for running. Every morning he would go for a run and every evening. But he had to asks permission if he could go. Every time he had to ask permission."
"That's a good point Winnie. I did not know where you were this morning. If it wasn't for Winnie telling me about your run I would have been concerned for you. Start a search. Maybe even call the police."
"Yes sir. Sorry sir. I will certainly ask next time." Jimmy took on that piece of information. Was he really invited to come back to her bedroom? When will he have to ask?
The rest of the day was the longest Jimmy ever experienced. Even at dinner time, when he was watching Winnie serve them dinner and then clean up afterwards, his memory of her kneeling in front of him kept distracting him from the conversation his Father was trying to have with him. He left for his bedroom soon after dinner, pretending to be tired. He was listening for Winnie to come up to her bedroom but it was almost ten when he finally heard her walking up the stairs and into her bedroom. As soon as the door closed, he opened his and made the few steps across to her door. He gently knocked. There was silence for some time and he was considering knocking again or retreating back to his room. Then he heard the gentle, "Come in." With blood rushing to his temples, he carefully opened the bedroom door and stepped in.
Winnie was sitting on her bed. Lot of the bravado and the confidence she displayed in front of his Father seemed to have evaporated. She looked as scared and as nervous as Jimmy felt.
"So there are some rules here," she started, her voice strict, but nowhere near as loud, or confident as it was this morning.
"First is the permission. You ask me. I ask you. We do not take each other for granted. You can not just walk in here whenever you feel like it. I keep house for your father. I am not your fuckbuddy! Understood!" The word burned Jimmy's ears as he almost recoiled at the vulgarity of her words. He quickly nodded his head in agreement. Frozen in space in the middle of her bedroom. Afraid to move forward or back.
"Next," she continued with the same commanding voice that was both scary and exciting to hear.
"Private matters between two consenting adults are just that. Private. I don't want to hear about this from anybody else. Not you friends, not your church and especially not your Father." Again Jimmy's head started to nod in agreement even before Winnie finished speaking.
"Ok," she continued a little more gently now.
"Finally, you need to learn to be cool. If you need to lie to your Father, lie to him. I will support your 'running' story, but you need to be a little more convincing. Always have a story ready for your Father. Always think of something safe to say about where you were and what you were doing. Maybe start running for real. At least a few times. That will be the best cover. But make sure you keep your cool. He is no fool and will be able to put two and two together very quickly. Especially if he suspects something."
The silence following her lecture hung in the air, Jimmy unsure of what to do next continued standing in the middle of her bedroom. What could he get away with? Could he touch her? He was not sure, but he felt he should do something.
He took an awkward step towards her then stopped. This time, she took the initiative and responded. She stood up and quickly closed the distance between them. They kissed. Gently. On the mouth. Just with the lips. Her sexual confidence of this morning hiding.
Winnie spend the entire day deciding if she should go through with her plan. There were many things that she knew could go wrong here and all of them were catastrophic for her job, for her life and for her future, but none of those were foremost in her mind. Her primary concern and the key decision she was mulling over in her head was letting him see her naked.
All her sexual liaisons of the past were in the dark, or at least in very low light. Both parties wanting the freedom to indulge in their own private fantasy of what their partner could look like behind the anonymity of the dark, but this was different. She wanted to see Jimmy. See him make love to her. He was very handsome. Maybe not in the traditional sense, but to her he was very handsome. She also realised that she would need to show her body to him. This was the point that frightened her the most. On one hand she wanted to show her body to him. He seemed genuinely interested in seeing her naked this morning. Even the sight of her in her pyjamas made him aroused. Even in her pyjamas! Will he be equally excited when she shows him the real her. Her naked self. To see all her deformities. Her crooked pelvis, her blotchy skin and birthmarks and awkwardly shaped, drooping breasts and...
She was not sure, but she wanted to find out. She needed to find out. But she was also terrified. What if he does not find her attractive? That fear was eating away at her confidence. It was making her doubt her decision now.