"I confess I didn't get as much packing done as I thought I would...I got lost reading some of your letters and cards. Do you remember the card you gave me when you proposed?"
My mind drew a blank and it showed on my face. She smiled and waited and then said "'The Get Out of Jail Free Card'. It was at the bottom of the box. I had forgotten all about it."
My mind raced as I thought "Holy fuck, I forgot about 'the card'!" Yes, I was a blithering idiot. I was so afraid she would say 'no'. I panicked and did the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life and possibly the stupidest thing in the history of mankind. I offered her one assignation, one time only with no repercussions or recriminations. Shit, shit, shit what an idiot. Janie had always attracted the handsome, athletic types and while I trusted her completely, I was so afraid that one day someone like that would sweep her off her feet. In the words of the great philosopher Clint Eastwood '
a man's got to know his limitations
' so I STUPIDLY gave her an allowance for a one-time fling figuring that was better than losing her forever.
My fears came to a climax about a month before I proposed when I was in Washington DC for a job interview. While there I visited the Corcoran Gallery and saw a sculpture, "
The Sons of God Saw the Daughters of Men That They Were Fair
", a marble sculpture by David Chester French. The sculpture takes its name from an obscure passage in Genesis and refers to angels taking women for wives/lovers, whatever arrangements angels make. The sculpture is very erotic, a perfect male specimen with wings taking a woman whose body is responding and whose face shows pure ecstasy. I had nightmares about that statue for a week. The sculpture encapsulated the real fear that I couldn't compete with some Adonis. The fear I had was real and was almost paralyzing. But now, after five wonderful years of marriage it seemed pointless.
Janie spoke softly "I remember when you gave it to me. At first, I thought it was a joke. It was so like your quirky sense of humor. Then I realized you meant it. It overwhelmed me, not the idea but what the gesture meant...that you were willing to sacrifice your happiness for mine. I have never doubted that you would give your life for me if the need arose. And that fills me with awe."
I felt as though I had dodged a bullet with my name engraved on it in REALLY BIG LETTERS.
With a slight smile and her arms still around my neck, Janie spoke "I have decided to use my 'card'."
I swear I felt my heart stop beating. I felt faint. I couldn't manage to speak.
Janie continued "Tonight, we are going to celebrate one of our last nights in the condominium. In two days, we will be in our new home. I've chilled champagne and we will nestle by the fireplace and I will use my 'card' to light the fire to keep us warm while we make love. As the card goes up in smoke, so should any idea you may have that you owe me a chance to 'get out of jail free'. I love you with all my heart and I would rather die than betray you. You are the kindest most gentle and most caring person that I have ever known. John, I love you with all my heart. I never thought it was possible to love anyone as much as I love you."
She paused for a moment "I said how moved I was by the gesture of your card...but at the time I also thought that, as incredibly intelligent as you are...you can be a real dope sometimes." She smiled and continued "What ever possessed you to think of such a totally ridiculous idea? I suppose you knew in your heart that I would NEVER use it. But, why tempt fate? Honestly, I had forgotten about the card until I found it this morning, otherwise I would have burned it long ago. I wouldn't want you to go through the rest of our lives together with a sword hanging over your head."
Then she said the wisest thing I have ever heard from anyone "You are really lucky to have me. God only knows what a mess you would make of everything if I weren't around."
Epilogue:
About nine months later our daughter Georgina was born. Thank God she appears to have received all her genetic material, beauty and brains, from her mother.