It Was Inevitable
by
Tragudis
"You're fucking crazy, you know that? Wes Slayton looks like a guy chicks go for. You know, the all-American boy next door type. He's a smooth operator, confident, sure of himself. His rizz rating is through the roof. Plus, well, you're an okay-looking guy but you're no Brad Pit. And you sure as hell don't have the confidence of a Wes Slayton. You'd look ridiculous to even try meeting chicks the way Wes does."
Terry Dyken had no argument. He knew that Dean Hightower, his dorm room mate, was right. Terry's "guilty pleasure," or so he called it, was watching Wes Slayton on You Tube picking up girls. Wes made it look so easy. He'd approach them, smart phone in hand, and feed them some line that appeared to work just about all the time. Wes traveled to different states, working college campuses, shopping malls, and even parking lots, backed by a camera guy and a couple others. Wes had his own You Tube channel, and his popularity grew along with, presumably, his list of girls' phone numbers. These were cute girls, too, most of them in their early twenties. Some were even beautiful.
Then there was Terry Dyken, a guy in his last year at the University of Maryland who looked like a cross between Alfred E. Newman and King Charles of England. Kind of goofy looking, perhaps in an endearing sort of way if you were the kind of girl who went for that look, though not many did. Where Wes Slayton was the epitome of a cool, cute kind of suave, Terry tended to be a shy bumbler around women. How could he ever expect to even approach what Wes appeared to have down to a science?
Terry never had a steady girlfriend. A few weeks was the longest he'd ever dated the same girl. Unlike Wes, who appeared to do what he did for sport and the sheer thrill of it, Terry was looking for a steady relationship. Online dating sites hadn't worked out for him, nor had the blind dates that friends and family had fixed him up with. His sexual experience had been limited to a girl with whom he had zero emotional investment and doing an older woman in a friend's apartment, a woman dubbed the "pass around" by those who had indulged before him. You've heard of sloppy seconds? Terry's portion with this woman was too far down the line to count.
But Terry wanted more than just sex, and he was ready to try something new, something he knew was out of character for him but worth it to try. "I've tried just about everything else to meet a girl I can get on with," he told friends, "so I might as well try the Wes Slayton method. I have nothing to lose except my pride, which I don't have much of anyway when it comes to women."
The university, with over thirty thousand undergraduates and girls galore, was a good place to start. He wanted to avoid the girls in his classes, girls he'd have to see on a regular basis. His plan was to approach chicks he was either not likely to see again or might see but just in passing. When Terry asked Dean to be his "wing man," Dean said, "I don't know, dude. It would hurt me to see you make a fool out of yourself."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Terry said testily. "Look, if you won't do it, I'll get someone who will." Reluctantly, Dean agreed.
Dean Hightower was no Wes Slayton either, but he'd never been shy around girls. When you're tall and blond and athletic, girls send positive vibes your way. Dean wanted to see Terry succeed. Yet he could be smug as well as encouraging. He didn't have a steady girlfriend because, being candid with himself, he didn't think he could stay loyal to any one girl at this time in his life.
On the first day of the "experiment," as Terry called it, Dean took a softer tone. "Best of luck, man," Dean said. "I'll be right behind you with my cell, filming the way Wes's friends film him. Remember, just be yourself. You're you, not Wes Slayton."
Terry had picked the right season. Spring had sprung and between classes, students crowded around the huge greensward of a mall in the middle of the campus, sunbathing, studying, playing frisbee or just longing around. Wearing a green T-shirt over jeans, and a baseball cap (worn backwards, of course) over his curly chestnut hair, Terry ventured forth, with his wing man close behind. "They're out in force today," Dean said, surveying the scene on the edge of the mall. "Take your pick."
Terry could feel the butterflies fluttering inside as he looked around. "I'm not so sure I can do this," he said. "Wes makes it look so easy."
Dean put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Don't tell me you're going to chicken out. Look, taking the first step of anything new is hard. But once you do, it will get easier." A competitive diver, Dean related how nervous he was the first time he stepped onto the high dive. "Once I took that first dive, my nervousness got less and less, until it vanished altogether. Come on, dude, you've got this. Take your first dive."
Terry knew he had to at least try; knew he'd feel worse bailing out than if he got shot down. He pointed at a girl just a few yards away, lying on her front, with her face buried in a book. "How's she look?" he asked.
"She looks like she wants company." Dean paused to watch Terry's doubtful expression. "Seriously, you'll never know unless you approach her."
"Okay, here goes. Get your cell camera ready." Tentatively, Terry stepped forward and stopped a couple feet from his "prey." He waited until she looked up. Then: "Ah, um, what are you reading?"
The girl put her hand to her forehead to shield her eyes from the sun. "Huh?"
Terry glanced back at Dean, then turned toward the girl. "The book you're reading... What is it?"
"Oh...Just an econ text. I'm studying for a final. Why?"
"Just curious," Terry said.
The girl, a cute brunette wearing shorts and sandals, looked past Terry to see Dean. "Are you filming me?"
Dean stepped forward and said, "I'm just trying to show my friend Terry here how easy it is pick up girls. My name's Dean, what's yours?"
The girl emitted a sardonic chuckle and shook her head. "Guys, you've got the wrong girl. Besides, I've got a boyfriend. Okay? Have a nice day." She then returned to her book.
After stepping away, Terry said, "Maybe you were right all along about trying this."
"Look, not even Wes Slayton wins them all. You're just zero for one. Now that we're out here, it would be a waste of time to quit now. Keep trying."
Terry agreed, and after walking a few yards, he spotted another girl sitting cross-leg under a tree, looking into her phone, backpack by her side. "She's not as cute as the other one," Terry said. The girl, a brunette, looked like the proverbial plain Jane, not bad but not a girl who'd get many double-takes.
"Don't worry about it," Dean said. "You're here to get experience. Besides, the less cute they are, the more receptive they might be. I also think you'd have a better shot without this." He folded his phone and slipped it into a pocket of his shorts.
Terry was game to try again and asked Dean if he'd deliver the opening line. Then Dean said, "Just say 'hi, you look like you might want some company.' Simple as that."
"Simple for you, maybe. Can you say it? I struck out last time."
"If you want me to. But just remember, you're the star of this show, not me. I'm just your wing man."
Then Dean went to work: "Not to impose, but you look like you might want some company. Mind if we join you?"
The girl looked up, ping-ponging her eyes between these guys who had invaded her space. "Um, well, I don't know, I was just playing solitaire."
"Ah, then you probably could use the company," Dean said. "I'm Dean and this is my friend Terry. We're seniors here. How about you?"
"I'm a junior, and my name's Diana."
"Last name?"
"Lehman."
Plain looking she might be, but Diana did have beautiful blue-green eyes, Terry thought. Not a bad bod either--slim, nice legs. She wore a red floral print dress, and a pair of white sneakers lay beside her bare feet. "So, can we join you?" Terry asked.
She shrugged. "Sure, why not?" As soon as they sat down, Diana asked, "Are you guys like, trying to pick up girls or something?"
Dean and Terry looked at each other and laughed. Then Terry asked, "What gives you that idea?"
"I've seen You Tube videos of guys doing the same thing, feeding similar lines. Which is okay with me. I feel flattered."
