Is Love All or Nothing?

Thank you everyone for all the awesome comments and praise. While the purpose of this story isn't to educate people about Asperger's Syndrome, needless to say I have to talk about it so you, as the reader, understand why Keith behaves and thinks the way he does.

In the end I want to write a story with characters that are real, relatable, and you want me to keep reading until I finally end this story. Just know from here on out if there is a bigger gap between new chapters, my Asperger's is holding myself to a standard of excellence.

Also if later on anyone wants to do a Q&A that will be posted at the end of a chapter, I am more than willing to do that.

Enough of me talking, you want to read the next chapter. And before I forget, thank you again Tigersman for editing this chapter. Without him, I would get complaints of bad grammar and typos again.

*****

"So she spent Friday night with you at your place watching Star Trek?" Andy asks very confused.

"Yep, then she went back home and came back in the morning to watch more with me," Keith responds after taking a sip of Gatorade.

"Why didn't she just spend the night?"

Keith shoots a disapproving look at Andy. "Dude, you know from experience that my couch is not comfortable to sleep on at all and I don't have any extra sheets or pillows either."

"And she didn't just sleep with you in your bed because?"

"Because we're not rushing anything sexual! We just told each other two of our biggest secrets."

"Exactly! You two are finally getting comfortable enough with each other to explore each other more."

"Since when did you become so interested in my sex life?"

"Since you found someone who can actually put up with you and you must admit, Jackie does have a nice body."

"Oh my god Andy!" Keith says in disbelief. "Can't you accept the fact that I don't want to push Jackie into anything sexual? Or did you forget the part where I told you her ex used her for sex?"

"I didn't forget because you are not her ex. You treat her with a great amount of respect. That doesn't mean however that in all the time you two spent alone in your apartment you didn't do anything more than cuddle and kiss." Keith just shrugs his shoulders. "Wait, you're really telling me the most you did was kiss?"

Keith shakes his head getting annoyed at his best friend's persistence. "Yes. The most we did was kiss. I didn't even attempt to reach under her shirt because I respect her. Now, can you please drop it?"

"I'm sorry. I forget sometimes that you've had bad experiences when you go for the goods."

"Yea, getting slapped in the face was never fun," Keith looks over at Andy. "I know you mean well but seriously, don't push me to do anything sexual with Jackie. I have much bigger things to worry about anyway."

"What do you have to worry about?"

"Jackie wants us to go on a double date with Melissa and her boyfriend."

Andy looks at Keith even more confused than before. "And this is something to worry about because?"

"It is something I have no idea how to prepare for and what if the guy pushes my buttons? It is bad enough I have already blown up at Jackie once. I don't want to blow up at this guy and make her think I have anger issues."

"Keith! Stop worrying about the worst case scenario," Andy begs. "You're just going to worry yourself for no reason. Just ask Jackie what this guy is like. I'm sure she wouldn't have asked you to do a double date if she didn't think you could handle it."

"I still don't think she realizes what she is getting herself into Andy. She's barely scratched the surface of what she will have to deal with."

"And what is the difference between what she might have to deal with and what I've been dealing with for years?"

"You don't live with me. If things go well, I may want to spend the rest of my life with her."

Andy's eyes grow wide in fear. "Please don't tell me you're already thinking of"

"No I'm not!" Keith interrupts with anger in his voice. "I may have trouble with social situations and reading people, but I'm not going to rush popping the question or asking her to live with me."

Andy lets out a breath of relief. "Please don't scare me that like again."

"You're the one taking things to the extreme, not me," says Keith laughing.

"You bring that out of me. I never know what you're thinking."

"Trust me. You don't want to know what goes on in this head."

************

"So where were you thinking we would be going on this double date?" Melissa asks Jackie while enjoying her burger at Burger King.

"I was thinking we could go back to that hibachi restaurant where we first met Keith. The men could sit next to each other so they could get to know each other. Also, we would still be able to talk with our respective man."

"That is not a bad idea. We'll have great food and get a show at the same time. But what about afterwards?"

"We'll then just go our separate ways. I'm pretty sure you and Luke don't want to watch Star Trek with Keith and me."

"No, wouldn't want to interrupt anything," Melissa says with a coy smile on her face.

"Oh my god Melissa! Keith and I aren't going to have sex yet!"

"Could have fooled me with how much you said you loved your first kiss with him."

Jackie tilts her head down with a look of disbelief at her best friend. "I don't understand why I have to keep repeating this to you. The most me and Keith have done is kiss. He hasn't tried to reach under my shirt or even grab my boob over my shirt. He's been a complete gentleman."

"So you're going to wait until you're married then?"

"No. I'm not waiting that long, but Keith has been the best guy I've ever dated. I'm also hoping he will be the last guy I ever date."

Melissa's eyes widen in shock and happiness. "So are you saying that you L O V E Keith? Jackie blushes really red giving away her answer. "When are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. When he tells me he loves me? I'm not going to say it unless I believe he feels the same way."

"What if he never tells you?"

Jackie had been wondering that same question herself ever since she fell in love with Keith after their first kiss. They had finally opened up to each other and she could let him in. Everything was happening so fast and she was still wrapping her mind around the fact her and Keith could really become an item.

"I'll just have to figure that out as time goes on. I'm not going to force him to tell me if he loves me or not."

"Well either way, you know you'll always have your best friend here for you."

"I know I will, but I want you to be honest with me about something."

"Jackie, you know I'm always honest with you."

"Then why did you go to Keith's place first last Sunday instead of mine?"

Melissa wasn't expecting to be asked that question. She does her best to relax herself before she answers. "I told you before, I wanted to make sure he was ok. Andy seemed pretty worried about him when you sent me that text."

"Melissa, why did you go to his place first?"

"It's personal."

"Melissa, there is something you're not telling me. I promise not to judge you for hiding something. I just want to know the truth."

Melissa knows Jackie well enough that she is not going to let this go. After all the mistrust from the past guys she dated, Melissa was always there to help her out and even be brutally honest about the guys. Now she was hiding something from her best friend, the secret that led her to be such a good and caring friend towards Jackie. The secret would have to be revealed now though, whether Melissa wanted it to be or not.

"My younger brother also had Asperger's."

Jackie couldn't believe her ears. In the many years she and Melissa had been best friends, she never knew she had a younger brother. Melissa was always quiet about what her family was like growing up.

"What happened to him?"

"He committed suicide my senior year of high school."

Jackie now understood why Melissa went to Keith's first. She wanted to make sure he wasn't suicidal. It also made sense why she never talked about her family, especially her brother.

"I'm sorry Melissa."

"It's ok Jackie. It's a secret that I'm kinda glad to be getting out into the open. It has been weighing me down for some time."

"Well I'm glad all these secrets are coming out from you and Keith. I just hope there are no other surprises that I'm going to find out on the double date."

"You know you stress out too much sometimes, right?"

"Yea," says Jackie while looking off to the side. "It just seems like there is always something about Keith that catches me off guard."

"Why don't you and Keith have a Star Trek marathon during the week? You can ask him if there is anything else he needs to tell you."

Jackie takes a second to think about Melissa's suggestion. "That is actually not a bad idea. Who would have thought you were actually suggest a Star Trek date?"

"Well why not? It's something you both love to watch and you will never have to bug me to watch it with you again."

Jackie laughs at that statement. "I had a feeling there was a hidden reason. Don't worry, I love you Melissa."

"Well of course you do, I'm the most awesome person you know."

"No, Keith has beaten you out there. You're now number two."

"Well if I'm going to lose to anyone it might as well be to him."

*****************

Later that night Jackie sends Keith a text.

Hi Keith, hope you're having a good day. I was wondering if you wanted to come over on Tuesday and do another Star Trek marathon.

Less than a minute later Keith responds.

I would love to Jackie. My boss actually gave me some time off this week. What time should I arrive at your place?

How about 4 pm. That gives me time to shower and make sure my place is clean. Do you still have my address?

Yes, I still have your address and 4 pm sounds like a perfect time to me.

J

What would you want for dinner?

I can bring some Arby's if you want.

I LOVE ARBY'S! If you could get me a regular roast beef with Arby's sauce and curly fries I will forever be in debt to you.

Well then I will make sure you pay back ever part of that debt. For starters, an amazing kiss when I see you again.

Lol. You know I will always make that type of payment. So what did you do for your Sunday?

Not much. Played basketball with Andy and endured many stupid questions from him.

Who won and what questions did he ask you?

We didn't keep score today and he asked a lot questions involving why haven't I gone farther than kissing with you. Sometimes I think he worries too much about my sex life.

Well I know why we haven't gone further. You respect me and don't want to use me for my body.

That's what I told him! I want to keep getting to know you and gain your trust. Our first kiss was amazing and when we decide to have sex, I want it to be unforgettable. I want you to feel like the sexiest woman alive and no one else compares to you.

Keith! Stop it! You're being too sweet.

And since when is that a bad thing?

Never.

J

Sadly it is getting late and I need to get to bed. Enjoy your time off and can't wait to see you Tuesday. Night Keith.

Night my beautiful Jackie. Sweet dreams.

Jackie couldn't help but feel more in love with Keith after their texting conversation. He was being so sweet and caring to her. No guy had ever put so much effort into any relationship with her and the smile on her face said it all.

*********************

Tuesday comes all too fast for both of them. All Keith could think about Monday and Tuesday was spending time with the woman he was slowly falling for. Jackie was making sure her apartment was as clean as it could be. She was being very meticulous wanting to set a good impression. Before she knew it, her cell phone was ringing. She picks it up seeing that it is 3:55 and Keith is calling.

"Hi Keith, how's it going?"

"Going good. Just got to your apartment and was wondering if I have to say any magic words to come in."

"That depends on what you have in the car with you."

"Oh, just a regular roast beef and large curly fry for each of us."

Jackie's mouth waters at the sound of that. "Come to the door and I'll let you in."

She hangs up and immediately goes out of her apartment to let Keith in the building. He walks in and is greeted with a kiss. "Hi beautiful. I hope you're hungry."

"Maybe just a little bit. Did you remember the Arby's sauce?"

Keith gives her a kiss on the forehead as they walk into her apartment. "Of course! If my woman wants Arby's sauce, she gets Arby's sauce."

Jackie's smile grows bigger than it has ever been as Keith says she is his woman. "So does that make us boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Keith gives her a kiss on the lips. "Yes, you are my amazing girlfriend who puts up with my craziness."

They sit down at her table and Keith gives Jackie her roast beef sandwich, packet of Arby's sauce, and curly fry. "Thank you for treating." She quickly unwraps her sandwich, removes the bun, open the packet, puts sauce on it, puts bun back on and takes a big bite. "Mmm! Tastes so good! It has been far too long since I've had one of these."

By the time Jackie had her first bite, Keith had just opened his packet of barbeque sauce to put on his sandwich. "Well I guess that answers if you are hungry or not."

Jackie finishes chewing and swallowing before responding. "My lunch is at eleven so by the time I get home most days I'm hungry and ready for dinner."

"That makes sense." Keith takes a bite out of his sandwich and relishes it also. He tries to remember the last time he had Arby's. "It has been a while since I've had Arby's too." Then it comes back to him the last time he had eaten at Arby's it was with Jillian. He tries to control his demeanor and not appear sad, but Jackie notices it right away.

"What's wrong?"

Keith takes a deep breath to try to calm himself before he speaks. "I just remembered that the last time I had Arby's was with Jillian before she ended things with me."

"I'm sorry Keith," says Jackie while rubbing his arm to show that she cares.

"Thanks, but I'll be ok. It is just that when I remember something with strong emotions tied it, that emotion tends to take over for a little bit."

"Is that related to your Asperger's?"

"Yes it is." Keith looks at her and notices a look of concern. "Don't worry Jackie. I'm going to be ok. You're with me and you will always brighten up my day." Jackie concerned look goes away and is replaced with a smile.

The two continue to eat as they talk about work and other small talk. They finish their food at the same time feeling full from a good meal.

"Thank you again for getting the food."

"You're welcome Jackie."

Jackie moves her chair over to sit right next to Keith and they hold each other very tight. Keith stares into her blue eyes for a few seconds before he moves in to start to kiss her. She kisses back as she rubs her right hand up and down his arm. While slow, the kissing gets more passionate over time until Jackie breaks away feeling things are about to get too intense.

"I'm sorry," Jackie says while looking down. "It has been so long since I've been with anyone and the last time...I guess I'm just a little scared."

Keith gently tilts her head up so he can look at her in the eyes. "Jackie, you have nothing to be sorry about. You are worth waiting for and I will wait until you are ready. There is nothing I want more than to make you feel beautiful, sexy, and loved."

Jackie's smile returns and she gives Keith a quick peck on the lips. "You are truly an amazing man Keith. I can't help but keep falling more and more in love with you." Almost immediately she wished those words hadn't left her mouth, but Keith then said something she did not expect.

"I love you too Jackie."

Keith had realized after his conversation with Andy on Sunday that he did love Jackie, but he was afraid to say anything first. There had been several women he dated in college that he told he loved them after a second date that immediately broke things off with him. It was that fear that stopped him from saying that he loved Jackie. As soon as she said it, his heart leapt for joy and knew he should tell her exactly how he felt.

"You do?" Jackie asks with tears of happiness forming in her eyes.

"Yes, I do." Keith gives her another kiss on the forehead before moving his mouth to her ear and starts whispering. "I may have not known it then, but I do know that I believe our first meeting at Brownstead was fate. You are the most beautiful woman I know and I just don't mean from a physical stand point. Your inner beauty is what attracts me most to you."

Jackie starts blushing uncontrollably. She had never been complimented so much from any guy, at least that she knew wasn't trying to get into her pants. "Keith, you have no idea how much what you are saying means to me." She starts sniffling and tears come down her face.

"I meant every word of it and will every day I say it in the future. I love you Jackie." Keith gives her another kiss on the forehead and helps wipe away the tears.

Jackie smiles as best she can with tears still running down her face. "We should go sit on the couch and start our marathon before I've drowned us in my tears."

Keith nods his head in agreement and they head over to her couch. Jackie turns on her TV and activates Netflix from her Roku, then she chooses the episode and then sits back into the arms of her man and his loving embrace.

Melissa and her boyfriend are in her bed really making out with each other. Both of them are shirtless and she is without her bra. Before she knows it Luke is kissing down to her D cup breasts and sucking on her nipples. He knows that is her sweet spot and attacks the nipple hard.

"Oh god yes Luke! I love when it when suck my nipple like that!" Melissa moans while breathing deeply.

Luke starting pulling with his teeth, really stretching the nipple until it snaps back. He repeats this over and over, each time making Melissa moan louder. Then he just pinches the nipple with his teeth and uses his tongue to play with it, driving her even more insane.

"Fuck Luke! Just take my pants off already!"

Luke stops playing with Melissa's breast and tilts his head up. "Not until you tell me why we're going on this double date on Saturday. Isn't this the same guy that had Jackie crying and in fear?"

Melissa catches her breath after the pleasurable assault on her nipple. "I told you, it was just a misunderstanding. They are good now and making things work."

"If you say so," Luke says not sounding convinced at all.

"Luke, just trust me. It was nothing, everything is good. I did tell you they did kiss and make up, with emphasis on kiss," Melissa says with a wink.

Luke smirks remembering Melissa telling him that Jackie and Keith finally had their first kiss. She was telling him all the emotions Jackie was feeling about that kiss, but to him it was just a first kiss.

"Ok, I guess that is good enough for me. Don't expect me to go easy on the guy though."

"Since that is good enough for you, can you please continue the sexual assault on my breast?"

Luke gets an evil smile on his face. "I think I'm going to assault something else."

Melissa's eyes light up as she feels her jeans being tugged down with her panties coming off with them. "Oh, you know I'm going to love this!"

***********************

"You really don't see where I'm coming from?" Keith asks very confused.