Interlude 08-77

Eight

It is late one normal work afternoon. About an hour to go, and she'll be able to walk out on another forgettable day. Her computer dings, signaling an incoming email. Automatically, she flips pages to the email program, and double clicks the new entry without even looking at the title or who it is from.

It starts off:

"I hope you are having a good day. In case that isn't happening, here is something to distract you."

Thinking she'd been SPAM'ed, she starts thinking of the harsh call she will make to the system admin. Glancing at the subject line, and the FROM address, she realizes it came from him. OK, let's see what this is about, she thinks quietly to herself.

"As I was sitting on yet another flight, I penned this for you. Its application is universal for women, so if you want to share it with your co-worker posse there, feel free. If they find it amusing, that's fine. If they take it to heart, they may find something in it that will help their sex lives. As for you, I think you know these things ready, but it can't hurt to see it in black & white. So, without further preamble, enjoy."

"Top Ten Sexual Things A Woman Can Do, From A Male Perspective."

"Men and women are fundamentally wired differently when it comes to sex, and what turns them on. With few exceptions, what causes one to be hot and bothered doesn't necessarily have the same effect on the other. Women generally don't understand this, and sometimes misunderstand what the man finds exciting. Sexual attraction for men is centered on the visual sense -- men are much more affected by what they see sexually than women. (This explains why porno is much more popular with men than women). So, from a male perspective, here are the top ten things a woman can do sexually that a man would become excited about."

"10. Co-watch some porn. There is plenty of couple-friendly porn out there, geared towards mutual watching. Women rarely view it by themselves. But, watching it together can be a huge turn on for the man. Play along with the 'plot' -- 'Do you want me to do that to you?' -- or don't ask, just do. Porn starlet blows a guy on screen, you blow him in front of the screen.

If you chose to do this, you might want to choose the porn, especially if you don't know the guy very well. If he chooses it, you may be surprised at what pops up on screen, and not particularly interested in emulating it!"

"9. Woman plus woman. OK, so this isn't something the vast majority of women will do, but it's worth noting. It is almost every man's fantasy to watch two beautiful women make love in front of him. It's even better if he can join them for a threesome. There is something highly erotic about two women stroking , kissing, and being intimate with each other. Many women will admit this, even if they have no (public) desire to participate. (Conversely, there is almost universal revulsion at the thought of two men -- unless you're a gay man).

It is not a good idea to spring this as a complete surprise on your man. If you want to grab your girlfriend and jump into bed with him in a threesome, it might be good to broach the subject first. There are some (few, really) men that would not want to have two women at the same time."

"8. Jerk him off. Sit him in a comfortable chair. Kneel down in front of him. Pull your shirt open, expose your breasts. Give him a handjob/blowjob to send him into orbit. Talk to him, make passionate love to his dick. Treat his dick as if it is the most important thing in your world. Look up at him as his dick slides in and out of your mouth. Vary the finish. Let him cum in your mouth, and make a big show of swallowing it. Or, finish him in your mouth, and let his seed run down your chin onto your breasts. A third option is to jerk him to the finish, and let the results fly where they may. Or, jerk to the finish, directing the results onto your breasts. Rub the results in, play with it. Do not act disgusted, or try to clean it up immediately. Look at him directly while you are doing this, let him know how thankful you are for his tribute to your beauty."

"7. Confidence. A woman who exudes confidence in her sexuality is a big turn on, versus one who is shy and hesitant. Being self conscious about her body (hey, almost no one is perfect) can affect the man in a very negative way. For instance, a specific woman (no one in particular in mind) who acts in a sexual, seductive manner turns on a man much more than the exact same woman who complains about how she looks, and rushes to get under the covers so the man can't see her body."

"6. The View. Men are visual creatures. They want to see their partner, to see what is going on. Low light to accompany a tryst is much more preferable to lights out."

"5. Dance for him. A slow, seductive strip tease is a far better turn on than just shedding clothes in the normal way and hopping onto the bed. A strip tease, combined with some seductive talk is instant boner material. Become a master at lap dancing. This can result in a man begging for sexual relief, or creamed jeans.

As an addendum to Number 9 above, if you do have a female partner involved, cooperate in the dance. Dance with each other, stroke each other while looking at him. Make him beg to get in between the two of you."

"4. Masturbate for him. Don't let him touch you, but let your own fingers do the walking. The woman should be as vocal as possible, telling the man how hot he's making her. The woman should be explicit, move in close to him so he can see exactly what you are doing (but without touching him). The woman can encourage him to jerk himself along with her efforts. A mutual, self stimulated orgasm can be intense."

"3. Talk to him. A woman who is vocal during the workup to a sexual encounter, and then during sex itself, is a huge turn on for a man. This vocalization can take three forms -- outright dirty talk -- innocently provocative -- loving encouragement. All three have their time and place. The woman telling the man how badly she wants him to fuck her hard is an instant boner. "Do you want to touch me here?" in a coy, soft voice induces penile throbbing. "C'mon baby, make me cum" will drive him over the top. Don't mix genre, stay 'in character' throughout the encounter. Don't go too far into fantasy -- "you're the greatest fuck in the world!", or "your dick is the biggest I've ever seen" sound contrived, like the woman is faking it. "You're a great fuck", or "your dick fills me up so much" are better alternatives."

"2. The Brazilian. The sight and feel of a bare female pubic area is enough to make most men cream in their pants. While a fully bare area is not practical for 'everyday use', special occasion application of razor/wax can lead to an incredible sexual experience for both. Having the man actually do the grooming can be as erotic as the sexual follow up. Granted, the grow back can be uncomfortable for a while, but it is worth it. A full Brazilian is an option -- trims that produce heart or diamond shapes, or a landing strip are other options. A deep cut V, stopping at the top of the clitoral area, with everything below bare, is awesome."

"1. Garter belt, stockings, and high heels. Without a doubt, the sexiest thing a woman can wear. The garters and stockings frame the ass cheeks and pussy like a frame around a beautiful picture. It enhances the beauty, and focuses the eyes directly on the target. Heels change a woman's posture as she stands, causing the ass to stick out provocatively, and the breasts to push forward. There is nothing in the world as sexy as a good looking woman dressed in a black garter belt, black back seamed stockings, and glossy black high heels. A French philosopher in the mid-30s described the vision of a woman's vagina framed by the material as 'the gates of heaven'."

"Don't stop with just the visual excitement. Nylon stockings, along with the smooth satin type material many intimate support garments are made of, can be very exciting when used to manually stimulate your partner. Use your legs to massage him. Use your stocking clad feet to masturbate his cock. Rub your satin panties over his face. The biggest problem you will have is keeping him from ending the encounter prematurely, if you know what I mean."

"If you choose to wear high heels into bed itself, make sure they fit tightly, or have straps around the ankles. Having a heavy shoe come off at the wrong time and clobber your partner in the head is a sure way to end a great encounter."

As she had passed through Number 7, her giggles became audible. At Number 5, the girl in the neighboring cube walked up to see what was going on. By Number 2, she was already mentally making up the email address list she was going to forward it to.

He was right. She already knew all of these things, but seeing them put down on 'paper' reinforced them. Good stuff to know, more things to tease him with! And a lot of water cooler gossip fodder for her office buddies.