Chapter 1
Alicia
I clicked my car doors open on my handheld keypad and heard the noise as they all simultaneously opened. I threw open the driver's door and sat down so hard I rocked my mid-size car. I slammed the door shut and pressed the button to lock myself in. Thankfully, where I had parked on the street no lights permeated the dark space I inhabited. I looked around wildly making sure no one was around my car and then let my tears loose.
I sobbed in a loud and messy way. My fingers curled in my hair creating snarls in my beachy waves hairdo I had created earlier. When I was a kid, I had sobbed in pain and anguish when I broke my wrist. This was worse. It was worse than when Jimmy in 5th grade stuck his gum into my thick hair on a dare and the kids laughed as I freaked out.
My hands were clenched in fists and I beat them on my pudgy stomach. No, not pudgy. Fat. My fat stomach. I hit myself over and over. At first I didn't feel anything. Then I finally felt some pain from the contact. I knew I was leaving bruises on myself. I didn't care. I could control that pain.
Soon I moved my hands down and began punching myself in my thick thighs. I worked from where my legs creased to my knees and back up again. The pain was more concentrated there. I knew I'd really feel it in the morning. I thought of reaching into my pocket and using my little pocket knife to slice my skin open, but I didn't.
The pain was like releasing air from an overinflated tire. It was good. On my body, it felt wholesome. It was sharp whereas inside it was like a whirling tornado of emotions.
I looked in my rearview mirror. Thank God for waterproof mascara and gel eyeliner that stayed put. My eyes still looked pretty despite being red from crying. Well, my concealer was creased a bit from the moisture, so I smoothed it out. My hair was a mess. I tried to smooth my hands down it, but with the amount of texturizing spray it didn't cooperate.
Breathing heavy, I stuck my key in the ignition and turned on my car. It whirred to life and sat quietly idling for me. Some things I can always count on. Men, not so much.
I had tried another date tonight that went horribly wrong. We had seen each other at the parking garage a block from work on Tuesday morning. I worked in IT at a large corporation and he worked as an accountant in the same building. We met for coffee on the mornings of Wednesday and Thursday in the cafeteria and then for lunch later on Thursday at a sandwich shop a short walk away.
I thought we had a lot in common. We both enjoyed conspiracy stuff like stargates and UFOs, and the more mundane things like onion rings and succulent gardening. I thought he was really cute in a boyish way, too. He asked me out to dinner and I agreed. Since I was working late on a project I had to drive myself. I met him at Antonio's, a well known Italian restaurant, where he was waiting at the bar.
It was super busy tonight, so I had to be careful when weaving myself through the people already sitting. The tables were pushed so close together that it was difficult not to bang into a woman's purse hanging off the back of the chair or a man's wayward elbow. I apologized as I moved my large frame through the room towards my date.
"Hi, Kevin, sorry I'm late. The project took longer than expected," I said over the loud acoustics of other patrons talking.
Kevin swung his head at me with a beer in his hand and gave me a half smile. "S'okay, Alicia." Uh oh. He must've been downing beers for a while because my name came out as "Leesha".
I hung my purse from the hook under the bar and heaved myself up on the bar stool. I was short enough that my toes could barely touch the brass bar that Kevin rested his feet on.
"Have you been here awhile?" I asked Kevin as I motioned to the bartender.
"Yup." He took another drink of his beer. He was a skinny guy. Not one I would normally find attractive, but he had a nice smile and I liked that we got along. I figured, if anything, we could become decent friends who grabbed a beer now and again. I didn't have any romantic aspirations towards Kevin at the moment.
"Yes, ma'am?" I looked at the bartender as he sidled up in front of me.
"I'd like a water and a white Russian, please."
"Sure thing." He walked away as I played with the coasters he had laid out in front of me.
"Are we eating here at the bar or waiting for a table inside?"
"What?" Kevin looked sideways at me.
"I said, are we eating here at the bar?" I raised my voice and leaned in closer to his ear.
"Yeah."
I was dismayed. All one word answers were never a good sign. The bartender sat my drinks in front of me and took the twenty I had laid out for him. "Go ahead and keep it," I told him.
"Thanks!" He smiled and I noticed his front tooth had a diagonal chip in it.
"You're welcome." I replied. I rarely went out, so leaving a large tip wasn't going to hurt my wallet.
"Well, hey, Alicia," Kevin swiveled in his chair. His tall glass of beer had been refilled and sloshed over the rim a little onto my skirt. "Oh, sorry 'bout that."
"No worries." I patted at the wet spot with a cocktail napkin. The napkin had a Dita Von Teese character in a martini glass holding onto a giant olive like a beachball. I liked the design.
"The thing is," Kevin burped quietly and hissed the air out through his teeth. I smelled the beer and wrinkled my nose. "The thing is that I'm not here to meet you."
Come again? I looked at him. I didn't know what to say at that moment, so I grabbed my white russian and took a couple long sips through the small straw.
I cleared my throat. Kevin had turned back around to the bar and remained steadily drinking.
"What do you mean?" I asked him.
"I'm not here, uhm, it's a bet."
I didn't get it at first then it sank in. He took a bet to get me here? Was that right?
"Kevin."
He didn't look at me. I was growing pissed off, so I took my ice cold water and dumped it on his lap.
He yelped and jumped. His beer spilled.
"Go fuck yourself." I said loud enough for people around us to hear and stomped out.
