Heather adjusted her stance on the green, sweat dripping down her neck where her thick blonde ponytail blocked the breeze. She took a deep breath, trying not to overthink and tapped the white ball with the putter. It rolled fast along the short grass and rimmed the hole before falling in, the glorious sound of the sunken putt giving her permission to let out the breathe she'd been holding.
"Yes!" the familiar baritones boomed from behind her and she turned to smile at her dad and her longtime private golf coach, Henry Stafford.
She walked over and each gave her a high five. She turned and gave her mom a big hug and her best friend and teammate, Kristen ran over from the other side of the green to celebrate their district victory.
Since that had been the final hole of the tournament, they packed up their things and headed to the parking lot. Her mom and Kristen walked ahead of them, talking about where they could go for a celebratory dinner.
She pulled her phone out of her bag, frowning when she saw the text from Dallas, her boyfriend. They had been together since they started working at the country club last summer. They had spent their entire senior year together and he had been nothing but sweet and fun to be around. He was athletic, played basketball and golf at their school, and they liked a lot of the same things. Dallas was very attractive and she felt very lucky to be with such a great guy, but there were some problems and she didn't know how much longer she could keep their relationship going without the guilt overwhelming her.
His text wanted to know how the tournament ended, since he'd had to work at their club that day. He also wanted her to let him know where to meet them for dinner that evening.
"Is that Dallas?" her dad asked, nodding his head towards her phone. "He joining us tonight?"
She glanced up at him and noticed Mr. Stafford looking at her, too as they both waited for her response. She felt herself grin in spite of the mixed emotions and small thrill she felt in her stomach at that moment.
"Yeah, he had to work today but wants to have dinner with us."
Her mom turned her head and said, "Tell him we'll be at Charlie's around 7:30."
"You guys going out after, too, Hay-hay?" Mr. Stafford used the familiar nickname she'd been called her whole life and she glanced up at his daughter who walked in front of them.
"Kristen, are we going out?"
"Yeah, we can go see that new scary movie we were talking about."
"Oh, Lord," her dad said with a chuckle and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Guess I'll leave ALL the lights on for you then for when you guys get back."
She heard Mr. Stafford's deep laugh. "Still scared of the dark?"
"Shut up!" Heather whined and playfully slapped his arm.
He grabbed her hand as she did and patted it gently. "Sorry, I couldn't resist," he apologized.
The feel of his hand and the warm way he smiled at her made her head spin. She looked down shyly and busied herself with texting Dallas back.
The guilt washed over her again when he quickly replied back with a kiss face emoji, saying he couldn't wait to see her.
She snuck another look at the guy her dad was now busy chatting up. Mr. Stafford, who had recently begun asking her to start calling him Henry now that she and Kristen were only a couple months from graduation and just four months from moving out completely, was a big guy. She herself was nearly 6 feet tall but she had to look up at him. He was fit while still having thay typical dad bod look to him. He still had a thick head of dark brown hair despite being over 50 years old, as his very well-groomed salt and pepper beard proved. His bright blue eyes crinkled as he laughed at one of her dad's stories and she enjoyed seeing him so happy.
Heather remembered when he had been anything but happy when she and Kristen were 10 years old. Her mom had gone thru a long battle with cancer, and when she passed away that year was a dark one for the families who had been close since the four parents had met in college together. Her mom was devastated losing her best friend and Henry had been close to losing a battle with depression until finally submitting to counseling for his kids' sakes. Kaleb, his son was now in college, and Kristen had been the purpose he needed to not give up on moving forward with life again.
She admired his strength and the man he had become after stepping up to be there for his kids. It also made the feelings she had for him so confusing.
It had hit her around Christmas when they were having their annual Christmas Eve gift exchange with the Staffords. They'd been watching Elf after dinner and she was getting super drowsy from all the turkey and the desserts she'd indulged on. She had been sitting on the couch between Kristen and her dad and had started to doze off. Kristen must've gotten up because, when she woke up, she found herself leaning against Henry who had also dozed off...with his arm around her. She could hear voices and the sound of dice in the dining room and realized everyone must've started playing a game. Heather's ear was pressed against his chest, his heartbeat audible beneath his sweater. The way he was holding her felt so comfortable and combined with the way he smelled, like warm vanilla and sandalwood, had her not wanting to get up. She had tilted her head up to see if he was aware that she was awake and was grateful to see that he was sleeping.
And as she took advantage of those few seconds to observe his full lips and strong profile, she realized that what she wanted to do at that moment was kiss him. And for him to kiss her. She imagined the way he would taste and what it would feel like to have him hold her in the same way her boyfriend did; what it would be like to make him laugh and to come home to him every day.
She had moved away from him immediately before anyone could walk in and find her flushed at the way his touch had made her feel.
Sure, she was 18. An adult. But she was still a high school senior. She had a boyfriend. And this was Kristen's dad! He was over 30 years older than her. Had she lost her damn mind?
She went up to her room and cried as the feelings overwhelmed her. Henry had always been someone she considered handsome, but this wasn't a crush. She didn't want his attention. She had amazing parents who had given her a wonderful life. She had a boyfriend who was really cute and treated her so well. But, while she liked him a lot, she never felt like she was in giddy or in love with him. And she definitely didn't picture them together past graduation.
The feelings she had when she had watched Henry sleeping had made her body buzz. Never, not even when Dallas had taken her top off, had she felt that with him.
She collapsed to her knees, leaning forward as she sobbed into her hands and letting the reality sink in. She was in love with Henry. And she could never tell anyone.
Every time he touched her or got near her, she would tingle and try to hide the goosebumps she got every time she saw him. It had ruined what she had with Dallas. Kissing him felt so wrong but she continued the relationship in the hopes that something would change and she would feel differently.
On occasions like tonight, when their families were together, she tried to look at him in a fatherly way and focus on the way he cared for Kristen. But it seemed to do the opposite of what she intended. He was such a great father to her and a great golf coach to both of them. Henry had a gift for teaching that she admired. She was thankful, though, that he only did it part-time and wasn't one of her own teachers. This was difficult and weird enough as it was.
Nights like this one though, when she and Dallas were together in Henry's presence, were the worst. Even as she grinned stupidly at her boyfriend, rubbing his arm when he tried to say something funny, she would find herself wondering if Henry was watching; wondering what was going through his mind.
"You're an idiot, Heather!" She silently scolded herself. "He isn't thinking anything any normal guy would be thinking watching his daughter's best friend and their boyfriend. He probably thinks you guys are 'cute'."
The idea made her stomach turn.
