In All Ways

Still shaking from a long session of oral adoration, he kissed up the inside of my thigh, up my tummy to my breasts. I grabbed his head, pulled him closer as I felt his cock sliding against my lips.

Out of lust, love, complete devotion, I was overcome with the urge to express what I had fantasized for far too long and whispered to him, "I want to have your baby."

His affection stopped and his big blue eyes met mine, both of us frozen. I know he had felt it while fingering me, that he knew I had my IUD in place, that the risk we took was generally a safe one in order to express our love of one another. I could see his chest rise as he took a deep breath before slowly exhaling, cock pressed against my folds, yearning in his eyes.

"Have all that joy with you," I said gently, reaching up grabbing both of his cheeks in my hands, urging him to kiss me and satiate my need.

Hanging his head, he looked pained, as he pushed into me softly before coming in to give me a little kiss.

"This could be very dangerous Kitty," he expressed to me, his voice full of anguish. "I don't know if I can play along."

"I'm not asking you to play along," I divulged.

I could not hold back, brought my lips to his and gave him a deep kiss, wrapping my arms around him, aching for him to take me.

Breaking from my kiss, he let out a deep groan of frustration. Another look, one I had not seen before, anger coming over his face. I could feel my cheeks burn, panic setting in. What had I done? Had I pushed things too far?

"Fuck," he exclaimed as he slammed his cock into me voraciously. Again and again he thrust hard and fast. I was so overwhelmed by the intensity I could not catch my breath. Suddenly he collapsed onto my chest, as if he had given up, head buried into my neck.

"I'm sorry," I said as the tears welled up, wrapping my arms around him.

We laid there for only seconds, but it felt like so much longer, locked in a loving embrace his cock still deep inside of me.

He began kissing my neck and started to slide in and out slowly, gently. I pushed my head back into the pillow and closed my eyes, rocking my hips, pulling him in, pushing him out, allowing the build to come naturally, patiently not trying to force it.

"Kitty," he whispered sweetly, "We are where we are in life, we cannot have each other in that way."

"I know," I sighed, "but if I had it to do all over again, you would be the one."

Pulling his head up to give me a long kiss while he grabbed my ass in his hands, I felt his hunger for me taking over and allowed myself to give into it completely.

"I need you Kitty," he confided, something I knew, but he had not ever verbalized. "I need you...." he muttered before drifting as our bodies rhythms synced, "need you to take my gift, it is a gift Kitty."

"Every drop, so precious," I whimpered, beginning to lose control.

"My gift, my love pulsing in you, filling you full, continuing to grow......Fuck," he exhausted as I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him in deeper, grinding against him as my wetness gushed out steadily.

Far harder to get to than climax, I was being pushed into that moment where everything was fading away, where I was not in my head anymore, I was lost within him.

"Getting close Kitty, I need you to look at me," he commanded.

It took me a second to come back, to look up at him. I took a deep breath and held it, feeling as though I was going to be taken over at any second and sent right back where I had just come from.

"I love you, every part of me does, you know that," he stated, voice full of conviction.

"Yes, I love you too," I managed to get out before snapping my eyes shut, needing to drift back out of myself.

"Close Kitty, but not yet, look at me," he demanded.

Again my eyes met his and I crumbled seeing what he was giving me, all that he was giving me.

"Mine," he articulated slowly in an exhale before closing his eyes.

That little word, all that was attached to it. Purposely he had put so much emphasis on not telling me that I was "His" until the time was right, never wanting to claim me until he was sure he could handle the full spectrum of what it meant for both of us. We had to accept the pain of our distance and that we could never truly be together, not as we so desperately wanted to. Upon hearing it, I felt to free to shatter and release all of that uncertainty about us that was within me, burst through and finally be unrestrained. When he began to pulse into me, when his warmth filled me, it was as if he had sealed up every little crack within me and I felt whole, maybe for the first time in my life.

It took its toll giving that much, we laid there unable to move, clinging onto each other tightly. Loving little kisses turned into passionate ones. When he finally had enough energy to roll off of me, we both let out little giggles, unable to verbalize the extreme happiness we felt. So much time, patience, trust and love. We had everything now in place to move forward to the next chapter.