I'm Not a Coward

I write for my enjoyment and as therapy to exorcise some demons. Although my stories are mostly fictional, they are usually based loosely around actual events in my life.

Names have been changed to protect the innocent and guilty. Just remember this is the internet.... Nothing here is real... If you do believe it is real, please seek professional help. Of course, any sex scenes occur only between persons aged 18 years or older.

I hope you enjoy reading this, but if not, I really don't give a fuck because I'm an Aussie..

Deal with it...!!

I'M NOT A COWARD!!

My name is John Walsh, and ever since I was 8 years old, I have always tried very hard to avoid any kind of physical conflict. Not because I was scared of getting hurt, but because I was scared of hurting others!

Why, you may well ask. When I was younger, my older brother used to torment and bully me relentlessly. That was until I hit him over the head with a heavy glass ashtray, and he lay in a coma for a week in hospital. To say my parents were extremely upset with me was an understatement. My father was about to give me the belting of a lifetime, but my Aunt Joy stepped in, somewhat defending my actions, explaining how badly my brother Dave had always treated me, but how they seemed to overlook his actions.

After being suitably chastised, Mum and Dad apologized to myself and Aunt Joy, then sat down with me and explained how dangerous a violent temper could be. With help from Aunt Joy, the three of them got me to understand that when I lost my temper, I didn't take the time to realize what the consequences of my actions could be. Someone could be badly hurt, or even worse.

From then on, I always did everything I could to avoid any situations where I might end up hurting someone. Through primary school, I was mostly left alone. I think that was because I heard someone had started a rumour that I was some kind of badass. Another rumour I had heard, was that when there had been a fire at our school, I was involved somehow. That one I found was hilarious. Even though I had nothing to do with it, I never actually confirmed or denied any involvement.

It was when I went to a different high school that problems started. Nobody knew who I was. I was just the new kid. I didn't know anyone, and kept to myself. That seemed to tell the school bullies that I was fair game, easy pickings.

It was only my third day at school when they tried to start something. I had made it a point to always try to be aware of my surroundings. That way I could avoid most conflicts that wanted to come my way. Being in new surroundings, I was even more on edge. I saw them coming from across the football field while I was eating lunch. I simply stood up and made my way to the library. I knew that sooner or later they would catch me somewhere, but in the meantime I would enjoy their frustration.

I was surprised that it took 5 weeks until they cornered me one day. Mind you, it did take 8 of them to herd me where they wanted. So here I was, a 13 year old lad facing 8 bullies who were 16-17 year olds. Yep, really even odds. A small crowd had gathered to watch the upcoming show. Problem was, I was never going to play their game.

Despite all the intimidation, threats and even physical violence, I refused to react. The onlookers soon got bored and started to fade away. So without an audience to pander to their egos, the bullies lost interest. But that was only for today. Every week for the next 4 years, whoever thought they were the 'Alpha Males' would try to intimidate me. I was proud of how I never gave them the satisfaction of reacting.

The downside of that was that I could never ask a girl on a date. My nickname always preceded me. Everyone knew me as the Coward of the County, from the Kenny Rogers song. On the very few occasions I actually got to ask a girl, all I heard in reply was laughter. So because I didn't date, I was always top of my classes.

After 12 years of schooling and almost 5 years of bullying, I had enough of our education system and decided it was time to be an adult and join the workforce. I thought the bullies in high school were bad. They had nothing on the interviewers I met.

"Are you just lazy?" "Don't you have any ambition?" "Do you think you will start at the top?" were some of the nicer things said to me when I applied for the dozens of positions I believed would be suitable for me. They all pointed out, that with my grades and being Dux of the school, I should be going to university instead of looking for employment that they deemed 'beneath me'.

So in my typical non-confrontational fashion, I got a job driving a truck. The company owner didn't even care if I had gone to school. As long as I could obtain my licence and not kill anyone on the road, he was good with that. If I delivered my loads on time, he was over the moon. Life was good!

I have been working at the truck company for a little over 5 years now. The boss told me he was especially happy with my work ethic, as I never complained and always delivered the loads. Every Friday I deposited my wages into my account at the XYZ Bank in town. For the last 4 years, I had always gone to the same teller. Sarah was her name. She is as cute as a button, although she says she's nothing special. I was smitten with her, and 7 months ago I finally got up the courage to ask her out.

Suffice to say, that since then, I believe we have become an item, as they say. She told me I came across as someone who is quiet and has his head screwed on properly, as opposed to most guys our age who are just loud mouthed, opinionated wankers who think they are god's gift to the world.

This particular Friday was just like every other day in a small town. If you walked anywhere around town, it was rare that you didn't see someone you had gone to school with, or at least known for a long while. As always, my awareness was focused on everything going on around me. All seemed normal as I walked into the bank.

Sarah glanced up and looked my way with a smile, while she served a customer. I noticed two of the other tellers sneer my way. I had gone to high school with them, and they still looked down on me. A couple of other customers had gone to my school as well, and I got the same reception from them. I didn't give a shit. It was their problem, not mine.

I was half way between the door and Sarah's window when something suddenly made me stop in my tracks. At first I didn't understand what was happening. My brain was dragging me back to the front door, and as I looked outside, I knew what was going to happen.

A car was parked in the loading zone in front of the bank, that in itself was unusual. Sitting in that car was Rick Smith, my chief tormentor from when I started high school, and 3 of his dickhead mates. Even stranger was the fact they all wore white coveralls and gloves. When I saw them start to don balaclavas, I didn't think, just reacted.

Running to Sarah's window, I yelled at her to get down. Before she could react, Rick and his cohorts burst through the front door, yelling for everyone to "GET ON THE FLOOR!", while firing a couple of bullets in the process. Unfortunately one of those bullets hit Sarah in the shoulder and she went down, screaming in pain.

The last 20 odd years of practice keeping myself under control left me in that moment. While everyone else cowered on the floor, I stood my ground and stared the 4 of them down. Rick walked up to me and held his gun to my forehead. He said loudly, with mirth in his voice, "Oh lookie here, the coward has finally grown a set of balls. Too bad it's at a time he can't use them!"

Rick's first mistake was thinking I couldn't fight. Since I was 14 years old, I had been training in . I had even won a couple of national age tournaments. His second mistake was having his gun where I could reach it. It took me less than a second to disarm him. One more second, and a quick punch broke his jaw.

Using his weapon and aiming low, three quick shots had the others on the floor. Two of them each missing a kneecap, and I think one without balls. Their screaming pissed me off, so I walked over to them, threw their guns out of reach, and using my steel toed boots, kicked each one in the head until they were quiet.

By this time, Rick had regained consciousness and started mouthing off. I went over to him and using all my weight, dropped both knees onto his chest. I heard at least 3 ribs break. I then proceeded to use my fists and rearrange his good looks, all the while saying, "This is payback for all those you bullied through school."

It was only when I heard Sarah's voice telling me it was all over, that I stopped hitting him. The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital with Sarah sitting in a chair beside my bed with her shoulder bandaged and her arm in a sling. I felt like I had been hit by a train, everything hurt. I let out a soft moan and tried to lift my left arm. Suddenly a nurse was leaning over me with her hand gently holding my arm down, while she told me not to move too much as I might rip the stitches that were holding the bullet wounds closed.

I asked, "What bullet wounds?", but she just said the Doctor would be there shortly to discuss my injury's. She then left to do what nurses do I suppose, so I asked Sarah to tell me what she knew. She asked how much I remembered, and I told her what I have already said here.

She told me her wound wasn't really all that bad, and when she heard me hitting Rick and yelling at him, she was able to look over the counter. She could tell Rick was unconscious, along with the others. She was worried I would kill him and end up in jail, and a piece of shit like him wasn't worth going to jail for, so she thought to stop me.

I told her that was all I could remember, so she filled in the blanks. Apparently when I stopped hitting him, I collapsed unconscious to the floor. It was only then Sarah noticed I had been shot in the arm and stomach. She screamed for a first-aid kit and they stopped the bleeding until the paramedics were able to take over and transport her and I to hospital. Her shoulder injury was classed as a flesh wound that only required 6 stitches and some recovery time. She couldn't give me any further information about my injuries.

A few minutes later, the Doctor showed up and brought us up to date regarding my recovery. He said that the police were waiting to interview me, so I said I wanted to get it over with, so send them in. A female detective entered first, followed by a uniformed officer, who I recognized from high school as being one of those who regularly called me 'Coward of the County'.

He obviously didn't recognize my name, but when he saw me, he stopped short with a look on his face that I couldn't read. Maybe it was shock. The Doctor had told me it was all over town how one brave hero had taken down 4 armed gunmen and saved numerous lives at the bank. I just said to him, "I'm not a hero". He replied, "That's not what one nurse who was there thinks."

The detective introduced herself as Jane Jones, and when she turned to introduce the officer, he still stood where he stopped, two steps from the door. She motioned him forward and he took the last 6 steps to the end of the bed. I said, "Hello Sam, long time no see!" He just nodded an acknowledgment to me and called me 'Sir', which almost made me laugh, but knowing that would cause me pain, I refrained.

Sarah rose to leave, but when I asked her to stay, I saw a quick disapproving look from Jane, but she said nothing. Sarah retook her seat and I told Jane what I remembered up until Sarah told me to stop punching Rick. When she asked me to continue, I told her that was all I remembered until I woke up here a couple of hours ago.

She seemed somewhat frustrated, and when she asked if I knew what happened next and I just said all I knew is what someone else had told me. When she kept pushing me to tell her what really happened next, I had had enough. I raised my voice and said, "Listen woman! I have already told you what I remember. So I can't see any reason to continue this conversation any longer. You and your piece of shit lackey can leave now."

The look on her face told me no-one had ever talked at her like that before. She was about to say something when the Matron and another nurse, along with four security guards filed into the room. Matron told Detective Jones that it was time for them to leave as I needed my rest. Any good nursing Matron has a way of speaking that you just don't ignore. After Jane and Sam left, Matron told me that one of her boys, pointing at the security guards, would be outside my door if there was any further trouble.

I tried to thank her, but she overrode me by thanking me for saving her son and one of her nurses in the bank. Nurse Debbie, who had entered with Matron, finished taking my vitals and fluffing my pillow, so they all left, after instructing me to use the 'Nurse Call' button for anything I may need or want.

Sarah asked if I was up for a conversation. When I said yes, she started with, "So tell me about you being the coward of the county." That threw me, because I had never mentioned my high school nickname to her before. She explained that she overheard the nurses talking earlier about how the coward of the county had saved one of their own. So I filled her in on how I had gotten that name.

At the end of my explanation, she smiled at me and said, "I bet those pricks won't ever use that name again, hey!" Damn it hurt to laugh so hard. There was a commotion outside my door, so Sarah went to check. After a few words with the guard, Sarah's and my parents walked in. Although in reality, my Mother almost ran.

After all the tears had stopped, and Mum had done her inspection of my injurys, Sarah's Dad, Jim, thanked me for keeping their daughter safe. He then said that if there was anything I ever wanted or needed, I was to ask him, and if it was in his power, he would see that I have it. His wife Alice nodded in agreement.

I decided to test their resolve. I said, "Well, there is one thing I would really like, but I'm not too sure how well my request would be received." Jim said, "If you don't ask, I will get upset." So I did. I said, "Jim, Alice, I would like to ask for your daughters hand in marriage." It was silent until a sob from Sarah broke our revere. Alice looked at her husband and said, "If you say No, I will divorce you in a heartbeat." Jim looked to see Sarah nodding yes madly, then said, "I couldn't think of anyone who would be a better husband for our little girl."

Of course, by this time, my Mother was bawling her eyes out. She eventually composed herself enough to say, "Okay ladies, we have a wedding to organize. First of all, we need a date!" With that, the ladies were talking at a thousand miles an hour. My Dad came over to my bedside, put his hand on my shoulder and quietly said, with a tear in his eye, "I'm so very proud of you son." I thanked him and said with a wink, "It time for me to stir up a bit of shit"

I got the ladies attention and asked if they weren't getting a bit ahead of themselves. They looked at me with curious expressions until Sarah asked what I meant. I said, "Here you all are, making all these plans, when I haven't even asked if you would marry me yet." I could see the smirks on Dad's and Jim's faces from the corner of my eye. The look of anguish on the ladies faces was more than I could bear.

I said to Sarah, "I'm sorry I can't drop to one knee, but will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" I moaned in pain when she threw herself on top of me. She quickly stood and apologized, wiping away tears of joy. I had to prompt an answer from her, but at least it was a 'Yes'. The ladies went back to their planning with a promise from me to purchase a ring in the very near future.

My hospital stay lasted 2 weeks. Not only did the nurses fuss over me, but Matron did also. On the day I was to leave, Matron pushed my wheelchair through a side door and to a white van, where Max, one of the security guards helped me to a back seat. Dave, one of the other guards, was behind the wheel.

I said to him that I thought my family would be picking me up. He replied, "Look to your left when we go through the next intersection." When I did, I saw a dozen or more TV news crews and even more reporters in front of the hospital entrance. Dave said they were all waiting for me to come out. That was why Matron brought me through the side door.

I asked him where we were going and he just said, "Somewhere private where the media won't find you." Almost an hour later, we turned off the road and went through a large gateway. We followed a tree lined avenue for about a kilometre until a beautiful, 3 story mansion came into view. Standing in the doorway was Sarah waving to me.

When we stopped, Dave helped me from the van, then handed me over to Sarah. As we entered the mansion, Sarah called out, "Mum, Dad, he's here!" I saw Jim and Alice walk in from the next room, followed by my Mum and Dad. They all came and gave me a hug in welcome.

Sarah and I sat on the two-seater, while our parents sat in single seats. Alice asked what I wanted to drink and I answered, "A real coffee would be great. The stuff in hospital was okay, but rather bland." Alice called out, "Jane, we'll have coffee in here please." A few minutes later, a woman dressed in a maids uniform wheeled in a trolley containing a carafe of coffee, cups, cream and sugar.

After she left, Jim spoke, "I would like to welcome you to our home. Please feel free to consider it your home as well. If there is anything you would like to eat or drink, just call Jane and she will attend your wishes." To say I was speechless was understating things a lot. I stammered to Jim, "I.. thought.. you lived.. in town." He replied, "Only when we have business there. Otherwise we prefer to live here. Much more peaceful."

We chatted some more until I started to feel tired. I asked if there was somewhere I could lie down for a bit, and Jim said Sarah would show me to my room, where I would be staying until the media storm died down. When I mentioned I would have to go back to my flat and collect some clothes, Mum said that she and Sarah had already done that for me. I thanked her, and Sarah and I headed to the east wing, where my room was situated.

When Sarah opened the door I was stunned. This single room was more than half the size of my entire flat. Opulence barely started to describe what I was looking at. The carpet was like walking on a cloud. The king sized bed looked even bigger than 2 of my double beds. Then there was the en-suite. It matched the size of my bedroom at the flat. Sarah pointed out the intercom and said it was to call one of the staff if I wanted anything.

I lay back on the bed and stared at Sarah. I could see she got a bit more uncomfortable as I kept staring without saying a word. She cracked first. "Say something John. What's wrong?" I looked her in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry Sarah, there is no way I can compete with this", waving my hand around. "I only drive a truck. At the best, I could only afford a small 3 bed house in the suburbs. And there's no way I could ever afford a maid. I don't have much, but I do have my pride."

Sarah lay down beside me and placed her head on my good shoulder. I felt a tear, and she said, "To be honest with you, I'm over all the money. For my whole life, I have had anything I wanted given to me, apart from the one thing I really want. True love. I know my parents love me, but I want that romantic love that I can share with a good man. I know in my heart that you are that man. If that means we live in a caravan, then so be it. As long as it's you and me together, then nothing else matters."

We both fell asleep in each others arms. A few hours later, Alice woke us to come and have dinner. When we had finished and were having coffee, I got every ones attention. I told them of the conversation Sarah and I had earlier. I pointed out to Jim and Alice that I would not take any money from them and Sarah and I would live within my means. Jim said, "I'm sure I speak for Alice as well when I say that we never expected anything less from you. You have proved to us that you are a person of very high morals. As long as Sarah is happy, we are happy."