Damn, I need an editor bad. Here we go.
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So, after spending a year having sexual adventures with two beautiful, intelligent women twice my age, I was suddenly on my own again.
It was hard for me to adjust. I compensated by putting as much overtime in at my job as I could, saving the money for my dream of college. I still took community college classes and was almost done with my associate degree.
I dated from time to time, and had a couple of short relationships, never anything serious. Got laid fairly regularly too, thanks to my teachers. I realized it was not just the sexual experience that helped me, but the tremendous boost in self confidence they had given me that made the difference.
This was about the time I acquired the nickname Looney, or more specifically Looney Tunes. I got to hanging out with some of the guys from work who also rode bikes. They were all a few years older than me but readily accepted me into their circle.
The company owned a large lot on a nearby lake that they had the annual picnic at, as well as other smaller functions like manager retreats, etc. It had scattered picnic tables, a covered and screened building that held ten more tables and a rock fireplace, and separate bathroom shower house combinations for men and women. So many non company people tried to use it that they installed a six foot chain link fence around the property line. It also had one of the longest piers I had ever seen jutting out into the cove.
They had lotteries every spring for employees who wanted to use it on the weekends the company wasn't. You could also use it during the week by signing up a week ahead, as long as you didn't miss work.
My name had been drawn for a weekend in late June. None of the rest of my friends were so lucky, and I decided to share it with them. I had it from from 3 p.m. Friday until 3 p.m. Sunday, and it had to be clean and undamaged when we left or I lost privileges for a year.
We had a couple of months to plan this. It was decided to keep it simple, eight of us and their wives or girlfriends. No kids until Sunday morning. We ordered a keg and gave the girls money for the food and snacks. Four couples were responsible for the food and cleanup Friday, the other four Saturday. Everyone pitched in Sunday.
The guys all rode their bikes, the girls drove cars or trucks to haul the tents and gear.
Friday we all rode our bikes after helping the girls pack the night before. I managed to get the keys at lunch, so one of the wives came over and got them. Three of them went straight on down and had a lot of it set up by the time we got there.
We weren't getting the keg until Saturday so everyone brought their own for Friday. I bought a fifth of mescal, which was a bad idea. I tend to get really, really stupid on mescal. I really don't think any of them remember I was underage, I had one of the girls pick it up for me. At the time I was just shy of 20.
It wasn't my turn to cook that night so the girl I brought and I just kicked backed. We had eaten and were just getting mellow when we started talking about motorcycles. I was a little sensitive since my Triumph was the smallest. The rest had a mix of Harleys, big Hondas, a Yamaha or two. Nothing under 750cc.
They knew it bothered me so they were bragging about how powerful they were. I countered that while mine was smaller, I could accelerate and stop faster than any of them. Of course there were
jeers and yells of 'bull shit', so my mescal driven mouth made them a put up or shut up bet.
"Tell you what, assholes, put your money and your bikes where your mouth is. I bet you that I can start at the end of the pier, hit second gear, and still get stopped before I run out of pier. Anybody want to put their bike against mine?"
Billy spoke up.
"You're full of shit. Nobody can do that. In fact, I bet you twenty you can't."
The rest of the guys chimed in with "Damn right" and "It would take a crazy fucker to even try it."
I knew I had them.
"All right chickenshits, if everyone of you puts up a twenty I'll prove you wrong. Let's see how big your balls are."
We squabbled back and forth for about twenty minutes, with the girls trying to talk us out of it, before they all agreed.
I had my girlfriend hold the money.
"Don't do it, Jimmy. I'm afraid you'll get hurt."
I laughed, slapped her ass, and told her not to worry, when I had their money I would take her on a shopping spree.
As I said before, that was the longest lake pier I had ever see. It was like something you would see at the ocean. The founder of the company built it that way because he liked to have a fishing tournament for the kids at the picnic, and if he could keep them on the pier under supervision they were less likely to drown or get hurt. It had waist high rails the entire length and around the deck area at the end except for the very front. There he had a pool type ladder going into the lake in case someone came in by boat.
Everyone lined the edge of the pier for my stunt. Most of the girls were still trying to talk us out it when I fired my little twin up and rode it onto the edge of the pier. Just before I took off I yelled "Just to make it clear, if I hit second and the bike is out of the water when I stop you lose."
A bunch of yeah, yeah rights and jeers answered me.
I revved a few times and took off. I hit second fast, damn that bike could accelerate. Just as soon as I hit second I let off the gas and hit the brakes. What I hadn't counted on was the fog that night making the deck slick. I saw right quick that I wasn't going to stop so I laid it down. I was still sliding along at a pretty good clip, and had my leg on the seat, ready to push away when I went over the edge, no way I wanted it to land on me in thirty feet of water. What I hadn't counted on was the ladder. I was sliding side ways when I hit it, and damned if the bike didn't stand up and rest against it when we hit.
When it stood up I still had my foot against the seat. I went up with the bike and I must have went ten feet up and thirty out before I hit the water. I went under and all the way to the bottom. It was probably more than thirty feet deep there
Apparently it takes a long time to come back up from that deep, because by the time I broke surface I heard the girls screaming that I had killed myself and drowned. I let a whoop out loud enough to be heard all the way across the lake and swam back to the pier. They had moved the bike and almost dragged me out of the water. I was laughing my ass off while they kept telling me how crazy I was.
Still laughing I said,
"I may be crazy, but I'm a hundred and forty dollars richer."
This set off a round of bitching, But I reminded them the terms of the bet was I would hit second gear and get the bike stopped before it went into the water. I hit second, and the bike was dry. Nothing was said about me getting wet. The girls shamed them into letting me keep the money.
Finally they agreed it was worth the money just to see what I did.
I think Billy spoke for the group when he said
"I didn't know it man, but you're crazy. a completely Looney Tunes motherfucker."
The nickname stuck, and by Sunday it had been shortened to Looney. When we got back to work and the rest of the plant heard the story, some one stuck a picture of the Warner Brothers logo with Porky Pig on my locker, and I was Looney to everybody. Three months later we all got drunk and got tattoos, and I showed the guy the picture of what I wanted.
"You know this is copyright infringement, right?"
But he put the tattoo on, and took a picture for his wall of fame.
Four months later I got a call from my old boss at the grill. His cook had quit suddenly and he needed a fill in for the weekend. I didn't have any plans so I did. College money.
Most of the people at the dance hall remembered me, and all commented on the change in my appearance. I was about thirty pounds heavier, and my hair was to my shoulders. I had also grown a beard. When Mr. Williams saw me he almost didn't let me cook.
I had also gotten a new bike. A man at work was getting divorced because he got caught cheating.
