I Just Wanna

I tried something I thought was different in my last story Got to Choose, where the "bad girl" wins in the end. It wasn't received that well compared to my others. Oh well. Thanks for reading and for providing your feedback.

Before the anons start nit picking the fast weight loss in this one, I based that on my friend. He lost 115 pounds in 9 months.

Thank you randyd1369 for the edit and advice. I made some changes after his editing so anything bad is my fault.

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My name is Joe Ryan. I work in an office as a project manager and most of my day is spent sitting on my rear end. The company that I work for is a marketing and consulting company, and even most meetings can be done via computer and phone.

When this began, I was 5'10" and 372 lbs. I had already been diagnosed with high blood pressure and was just diagnosed with diabetes.

My doctor said, "Joe, you've got type II diabetes. Your blood sugar level and A1C are high, but it's not a death sentence. It can be managed with medication, but you need to lose weight and get your diet and health under control."

"Doc, if I lose weight and change my diet will it be reversed?"

"No, but it would be managed. It might even be under control enough to get off the med, but that's gonna take a complete life change. To be candid, you should have done it when you were diagnosed with the hypertension."

"I know doc. I'm not gonna lose my feet or anything will I?"

"The bad things happen when you don't change and take control. Take control Joe. You have the power here, only you."

"It's so hard, I've tried diets and better eating, but nothing ever works for me. I'll give it a try."

I left his office dejected and not sure I could do a lifestyle change, but I would try.

My health was a wreck. My eating habits were horrible, so I was given a diet plan to follow. Not a flash diet like Atkins or Keto, but a healthy food plan. I got a prescription for a new medicine and left the office. I was disappointed that with these new pills I couldn't drink alcohol, but the worst part of this was that everyday, I had to prick my finger to test my blood sugar. Like I said, my health was a wreck.

When I came home from the doctor after finding out about the diabetes, I overheard my wife, Vicki, on the phone. I was in the foyer; she was in the kitchen. She must not have heard me come in.

"Seriously, he can't get it up 75% of the time," she told the listener. "I don't even try to initiate sex with him anymore. He gets so upset about not getting hard that he's resigned himself to being sexless."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"He told me to divorce him and meet a man who can give me the sexual satisfaction I need. No, I won't divorce him, he makes too much money, and I absolutely still love him Jill. I'll just keep meeting my lovers. Yeah, I have a rotation of three guys. I figured if I had only one lover, I would see him too much and that would risk one of us falling for the other. So I play it safe. What Joe don't know won't hurt him, right? He uses his hands and gives me oral sometimes but I need a hard cock, ya know? Besides, do you know how hard it is to get in the mood, with almost 400 pounds of flesh on top of you?

I know, Jill, but that was the start of my taking a lover. I was really hot one night and Joe was kissing me and feeling me up. The next thing I know is he is laying on top of me trying to be romantic and kiss his way down my body. I was so uncomfortable that by the time he got to my pussy, I lost the mood. I was so horny the next day I let Dale from work finally win. He'd been trying to get in my pants for a year. He did me right in the supply room."

I'd heard all I needed to hear. I got back into my car and drove to the closest bar. I hadn't taken any pills yet. I thought, "Screw it, I'm going to get fucked up."

The sad thing was, everything she said was true. I was having erection problems. My doctor said it was caused by the weight and blood pressure issues, so I couldn't get Viagra. I'm not sure if he was worried about my heart, or that he just wanted me to lose weight and wouldn't prescribe it. In hindsight, I probably should've gotten a second opinion on that.

One particularly bad night, after 2 bottles of wine and a lot of frustration I said, "Vicki, divorce me and be happy. Find someone who can satisfy you. You're still young, you can be with someone who isn't weak willed like me. Look at me! I'm a mess. I can't find the strength to lose weight to take care of my heart nor to help get my dick hard for christ's sake."

"Don't be an idiot, Joe. I'm not divorcing you and especially not over a health issue. You just need to find a way to be stronger and lose weight, and drinking this much doesn't help either. There are still ways you can pleasure me in the meantime. Speaking of which, how about we go upstairs for some of that tongue magic right now."

I would go down on her as often as she'd let me just to try to keep her happy, but lately she would put it off with an excuse. I guess now I know why. I may have meant it when I told her to divorce me and have a real sex life, but I couldn't condone the disrespect of an affair, let alone three lovers. Three lovers. Jesus, what a slut.

As I was drinking away my problems, I realized that I was probably an alcoholic on top of the medical issues. I did drink a lot and I drank several times a week. I put that drink down and vowed that would be the last one.

I walked out of the bar and saw a health club in the strip mall across the street. I waddled over and signed up. My doctor had told me that I have to get off of my ass and move, but he was worried about me doing something too strenuous like lifting weights. I could walk a bit on a treadmill though, and build up to longer walks and possibly running.

I went home to my wife to give her the news. When I walked in, she acted like the same loving wife she always was. "Damn, she's a great actress," I thought.

"Bad news honey," I stated as she gave me a kiss. "Doc says I have diabetes."

"Oh no!" she gasped.

"Yep, I've got to be on another med, this one to control my sugar. I won't be able to drink while I'm on it."

"Good," she said. "You drink too much any way. That will help lower your blood pressure, too. You know alcohol raises it."

"I know. I've been given a food plan to follow too, so you'll need to have different meals for me. It's not like a fad diet though. It's normal foods that I will have to eat measured portions of."

She smiled, saying, "That's no problem hun, I could stand to eat healthier, too."

My wife was still attractive. We're both 40, but she is thin and tall. She has beautiful green eyes and long silky black hair. I loved her as much as I did when we started dating. She was also dynamite in bed. She used to love giving me blow jobs; she said it gave her power over me, controlling when I came. I missed her blow jobs, I guessed I'd never get one again.

Before the issue with my performing, we had a great sex life. We made love a couple of times a week and never shied away from trying different things to keep the interest up.

We met when we were 17. I was much thinner then at 220 pounds. I know because it's still the weight on my driver's license. We worked together at an electronics store. She worked registers and I worked on the sales floor.

I asked her out to a movie for the next weekend, after taking a few months to build up the courage to do it, and she said no. I wasn't a real confident kid, and that hurt a bit. I said, "Oh, uh...ok," and started to walk away.

She said, "Wait, Joe. I'm going to visit my grandmother in Chicago this weekend. I didn't mean no I won't, I meant no I can't. Can we do it another time?"

I smiled and we made plans for later.

We didn't have a storybook romance or anything, just a normal life and love for each other. We married after college and had a son, Joseph JR., who we called JJ. He was 17 at the beginning of all of this and just starting his senior year in high school.

Vicki was always a great wife and mother. She doted on our son and probably spoiled him a bit, but all kids are probably a bit spoiled in one way or another.

Vicki cared for me through the years much the same way she did with JJ. She kind of waited on me hand and foot, if I'm honest with myself. If I needed a drink, she got it. If I wanted some cookies, she baked them and I could name a hundred other things she did for me.

She's an amazing baker. We always had a cake on the counter, or some sort of pastry laying around. She took such satisfaction from the great comments she got about her cooking and baking skills that she never wanted to disappoint. She also kept an immaculate house and was the go to mom on the block when someone needed a party organized.

I once asked her, "Hon, you seem to be spreading yourself pretty thin. Between JJ's activities, work and putting together the next block party, I'm worried that you're going to burn out."

"Joe, I love my job, I love my son and I love helping out with the party. I won't burn out because I'm enjoying everything I'm doing."

And that was how it always was. There was never any disrespect or lack of love. She basically spoiled me. I guess that's why this is such a shocking turn for her.

So we'd been married for 19 years and she was fucking three guys, all because I let my weight get out of control. I did wonder for a second if she might have been spinning a tale to whomever she was talking to, but she wasn't normally a liar, except to me, I guess.

"Joe, you're going to get through this. You're going to lose weight, get off those meds and everything will be fine."

"Will it?" I snapped. "Will everything be fine?" I stressed the word everything.

She looked at me sadly and said, "Yes, Joe. Everything."

I walked away and began to plan my meals. I made a shopping list and planned to do meal prep in order to have a whole week of lunches and snacks ready.

I had to buy all kinds of non-food crap to do this too. To give a few examples: I got my own set of measuring cups, a digital food scale and a new body scale. The one we had only went to 325 pounds.

The plan was doable. It wasn't all rabbit food. I could basically eat anything as long as portions were measured and kept in line with my carb minimum and maximum range to regulate my blood sugar. I had a sheet that broke meats and other foods into good, ok and bad columns, so they made it really easy for me. I even found an app that tracked the food that I ate.

I got obsessed. I read everything that I could; I also took a picture in the mirror everyday to track progress. I stuck to the plan like my life depended on it; and it really did. I took my blood pressure with a home device every day and watched it fall.

I didn't do anything about Vicki's cheating at that time, I would deal with that later. I didn't need more stress to be an obstacle to my plan for losing weight and getting healthy. Honestly, I was afraid the stress of a divorce would give me a grabber. It was bad enough that I had heard what she said.

After 30 days, I was down 22 pounds. Everything says that the first pounds are the fastest because the body re-hydrates and sheds the water it's stockpiling, but I was thrilled.

My clothes were looser, and I could see a difference in my face. I began to make side by side pictures with an app, that compared my current photo to the last picture taken before my lifestyle change. It was a fun diversion and probably a bit obsessive, but it was really motivating.

I was starting to get comments and compliments from people that didn't see me often and could see the changes. I was already feeling pretty good that I was sticking to it and seeing results, so the validation from others was a nice bonus.

Vicki said she could feel the difference when she hugged me and she did hug me often. She also gave me hello and goodbye kisses and she told me she loved me as often as ever. I felt her love, but her disrespect disgusted me. The worst thing was, that it was all my fault for getting that fat.

After 90 days I had a doctor's check up. I was very nervous, but I didn't need to be. I knew I was already down 50 pounds and my blood pressure and sugar were lower and normal.

"Joe," my doctor started, "You're amazing. Your weight loss is fantastic and as a result of all of that work, your lab work results are great. Everything is in the good range. Some minor things are still at the high end of good, but still good. Keep it up man!"

"Thanks, doc. I'm really motivated this time and I couldn't keep living like I was."

"Here's the deal Joe. I'm going to cut off your diabetes med and drop your blood pressure med by half. Just don't give up. So many of my patients go the other way when this happens; you're one of the few that have done it, but you have to maintain it. Don't go back!"

I was on cloud nine and I was feeling great. I wasn't lifting weights yet, but I was getting close. I was still only walking, but I walking more often and faster.

When I got home, I told my wife that we should celebrate. I filled her in on all of the great lab results and med reductions and I wanted to take her out to dinner.

"Sorry, love," she said. "Can't tonight, I'm going out with the girls to a show."

I frowned, thinking that I knew what she was really doing, and it wasn't a show with the girls. I figured that she was meeting a lover or trying to find another one.

"Oh yeah? Which girls?"

She looked at me funny and said, "Debbie, Jill and Carol, why?"

"Oh, just curious. That's ok, we can go another time," I said dejectedly.

I did go out to celebrate, but I went by myself. I went to my wife's favorite steakhouse, and had a really good fish meal with a martini and some wine. Even though I was off the med that restricted alcohol, I didn't want to over do it. I made sure to check in on Facebook about eating there, so my wife would see it and maybe feel guilty about it.

While on Facebook, I saw that one of "the girls" she was supposed to be out with, Jill, was out to dinner with her husband and kids. Oh well, I'll figure out a way to deal with that lie from my wife soon enough.

When my wife got home that night, I figured I would mess with her a bit, to drive what she is doing farther into her guilty conscience; if she had one.

As soon as she walked in the door, she greeted me, then went upstairs. I followed her up, went behind her and started rubbing her breasts. I was wearing a pair of basketball shorts with no underwear so my hard on was poking her in the ass. Yes, now that I lost weight and lowered my blood pressure, I could get them again, (guess the doc was right) but we hadn't had sex yet.

She said, "No baby, not tonight, I'm beat."

I said, "Really? I get my first hard on in a year and you tell me, not tonight? Thanks."

She turned with a shocked look on her face, realizing what she had done and said, "Oh baby, I'm sorry. I'm just not up to it."

She turned, went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. I decided to take it up a notch. I figured she said no because she was with a lover earlier, so I would take the guilt trip to the greatest extreme I could muster.

I opened Pornhub up on my tablet and started jerking off while I was laying on top of the bed spread, right out in the open. As I heard her finishing in the bathroom, I quickened my strokes. It had been a while for me so I was quick and was able to time my ejaculation for when she opened the door and saw what I was doing.

She gasped and covered her mouth. I think she may have started crying, but didn't say anything, then she went back in the bathroom. I chose to clean up and sleep on the couch.

The next morning, she seemed sad and like she wanted to say something, but never did.

That night, when I got home from work, she had gone all out. JJ was gone somewhere, candles were lit, champagne was on ice, lobster tails were finishing steaming and there was broccoli and baked potatoes rounding it out.

I asked, "What's all this?"

She said, "Our celebration meal for your great successes."

I said, "Sorry hon, I wish I knew ahead of time. Some of the guys at work are taking me out to celebrate tonight. It looks really good though."

She was floored. I went upstairs to change without giving her a chance to reply, but she followed me up and lit into me in the bedroom.

"You inconsiderate bastard. I went through a lot trouble and expense to put a fantastic meal together for you and you're just going to blow it off? That's a fucking bottle of Dom in that bucket and that's a $30 piece of lobster. Oh, I get it. This is you being pissed at me for last night; well fuck you."

"No dear, I have taken my love life into my own hands, as you saw. Who's handling yours?"

She gasped and ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. I smiled and finished getting dressed. "That went well," I thought.

I was feeling pretty good and went downstairs, popped the champagne and drank two glasses of it before I left.

I didn't have plans, that was just putting a bee in her bonnet; and it worked well.

My weight loss started to slow down, averaging about 10 pounds a month, which is still really nice. It turned out that for me losing weight was easy, I just had to make sure to stick to it.

One of the ladies at work was providing me with motivation and being there for me, in general. Beth was an attractive 30 something divorcee that was very nice, but she didn't have a filter and had a bit of a potty mouth. She had a 4 year old daughter and had left her husband because he cheated on her. We were just office friends, nothing more of course, because I was married, but she wouldn't be interested in a fatty like me anyway.

We ate lunch in the cafeteria together regularly. I think she felt safe with me, not having to worry about being hit on everyday. She was constantly encouraging me and she supported me by eating the same foods as I was for lunch and snacks. She was always complimenting me on my new clothes and just making me feel good about myself.

When I told her I started the diet she said, "I'm proud of you, Joe. This is gonna be great for you. Tell you what, give me your lunch meal plan and I'll follow it. That way, you don't have to sit here and watch me eat junk food everyday."

"Oh, you don't have to do that, Beth. I'll be ok."

"Bullshit, Joe. I have your back and I'm gonna help any way I can. I could stand to drop a pound or ten anyway."

"You're nuts," I told her. "You're perfect as you are."

She blushed at that comment, but it was true, she's beautiful.

I had confided in her the details of what my wife was doing because she'd gone through it with her husband. She tried to convince me that it wasn't my fault, but I knew better.

She laughed when I recounted the events of the last two nights. She said, "I can't believe you masturbated like that in front of her. That was evil."

"Well, she could have given me oral or a hand job and not used the lame I'm tired excuse. She used to love giving me blow jobs I know she didn't want me to know she was with a lover; whether it was because his seed was still in her or she was still loose from him, but she could have done other things to avoid my suspicion."

She said, "I guess she did deserve it, but damn, the dinner blow off was ice cold."

Things were cold around the house for a few weeks, JJ noticed and asked me what was going on.

"Well, I pissed your mom off pretty good. She deserved it, but i escalated it. I have my reasons that I won't discuss with you, but expect frosty conditions for a while."

"Ok dad, I can handle it."

At the 5 month mark I broke the 300 pound barrier. I went to work in such a great mood that Beth couldn't wait for lunch to find out what happened.