"Hi, I'm Sam."
Such a simple sentence, and yet, he couldn't bring himself to say it.
He had practiced in his head a thousand - no, it had to have been closer to a million times. He even practiced in front of the mirror, going on to say so much more. In the bathroom mirror, he could be quite witty, but in real life, he froze.
Six months, He thought. Six months, every damn day the same thing.
As Sam inwardly kicked his own arse, he glanced up through his lashes, smiled shyly, and quickly dropped his eyes back to the book he was pretending to read.
This was the ritual, the usual dance.
Every day, Sam sat in the same seat on the train, every day he pretended to stare at the passing scenery or read some book, but couldn't actually concentrate, every day he imagined a thousand times that he had finally spoken, and all that might happen from there.
Every day, the journey passed with shy glances, a timid smile when eyes met, and silence.
Every day, the 25 minutes of ''blissful agony'', as he referred to it, would come to an end at Glasgow Central Station. He would then have to walk almost 15 minutes from the station to the cafe where he worked. It wouldn't be so bad if he had to walk a further 15 minutes past the station, but that wasn't the case. He actually backtracked half a mile.
He knew he should get off one stop sooner rather than staying on the train that extra 5 minutes, as it added 11 minutes to his walk to work, but then he would lose those few extra minutes of the "blissful agony".
Sam sighed heavily, and shook his head at himself, as he turned his jacket collar up against the October wind that was prickling at the back of his neck.
******
"Well?"
Sam glanced over at Jack, dropped his eyes and shook his head slightly as he hung up his jacket.
"Mate! How much longer are you going to carry on like this!? It's madness."
Sam sighed as he sat down at the table with his newspaper and tea. This was also a near-daily ritual.
"Look, you're just gonna have to bite the bullet and make a choice one way or another - speak up or give up. You can't carry on like this, pal."
Sam stared into his cup. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew Jack was right.
"I mean...who do ya think ya are, James Blunt or s'mthing?" Jack teased.
Sam chuckled; he had always hated that song, but then again, he didn't know anyone who liked
You're Beautiful
... in fact, even James Blunt admitted it was "annoying".
"Aye, but that song was about seeing an
ex
on the tube."
Jack snorted and nodded slightly, "Chance'd be a fine thing, eh mate?"
Sam's eyebrows flicked up as he solemnly bobbed his head slightly.
He swallowed the last of his tea, and decided he would have to make a decision by the end of tomorrow. It would be Friday, his birthday was Saturday, and he didn't want to go into the next year of his life still trapped in this cycle of "blissful agony".
*****
Katlynn settled into her usual seat for the commute home. She really wasn't quite sure why she didn't sit elsewhere when other seats were available.
Creature of habit, I suppose
, she tried to convince herself.
After all, sitting here meant sitting diagonally across from the "cute but slightly creepy" bloke.
She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.
He was ok, she supposed. He had a thick shock of black hair that always looked like he had been running his hands through it. It was somewhat messy in a hip way, but not a mess. The times she had caught him looking at her, she had noticed he had blue-grey eyes that changed to more blue or more grey depending on what he was wearing.
Seriously, Katlynn!?
She scolded herself for having paid so much attention to the "cute but slightly creepy" man.
Although, if she were honest with herself, she had paid far more attention than to notice just his hair and eyes. She was also aware that the couple of times she had seen him genuinely smile, he had amazing perfect white teeth. She had actually wondered who his dentist was, and then scolded herself for being ''weird''.
She would also have to admit that more than once she had been impressed with how well the young man dressed, always contemporary smart casual.
She saw his head move a bit, and darted her eyes to the passing scenery.
I've caught him glancing at me so many times; he even gives a shy smile once in a while. I wonder why he's never spoken to me.
Why haven't
you
spoken to
him
?
Her inner voice asked.
Her eyes widened for a second. Valid question.
Perhaps tomorrow morning
, she weakly thought as the train pulled into the station.
As she stood to join the queue, she glanced down at the top of his head.
Look up!
She willed him.
Look up! Look at me.
For some reason, Katlynn wanted to see those eyes of his. She wanted to see what colour they were today.
The man didn't stir, so Katlynn coughed slightly, and shuffled her feet. Nothing. Stone still.
Is he sleeping?? Perhaps I should wake him.
At that moment, the queue began to move, and the man closed his book. She was slightly relieved and yet disappointed at the same time. She turned and joined the queue, and the man looked up to watch her leave.
****
Friday morning found Sam dashing around his flat, desperately searching, tossing newspapers, shoes, and mail about.
"Where the hell is it!" he shouted.
Countless times he had wished he were a tidier person, but none more so than at that very moment.
"YES!" he snatched up the nametag, and dashed for the door.
Katlynn had been surprised to see the empty seat. For the past six months, the routine had been that he was always on board before her, as she approached her seat, she would see him raise his head slightly and watch her through his lashes. As she sat, their eyes would meet, each would give a shy, polite smile, and his head would drop back to the book. So, the empty seat that morning had been somewhat disconcerting.
As the train began to fill, she became concerned someone else would take the seat, so she put her jacket there to indicate it was taken.
She chewed her lip and scanned the platform for the now-familiar face, and periodically checked her watch.
She suddenly thought
What am I doing?? Why do I care of this stranger catches the train or not??
Because she was a nice person, was her conclusion, and she resumed her hunt for the "cute but slightly creepy" young man.