**Author's note: I wrote this for the
Literotica 2022 April Fools Day Story Contest
. Please vote if you enjoy it. I'm not great with comedy or April Fool's Day pranks, but I enjoy a writing challenge that involves deception and things going awry. This story is an interesting journey. It begins in the realm of high fantasy, quickly falls into the real world, then slowly develops into a young romance and a swift seduction. It explores innocence, reality, and morality in a compact adventure.**
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"They're all idiots," Cypress sighed.
Cypress, the god of love and fertility, gazed at the world with eyes more dazzling than iridescent jade. He had tousled caramel-colored hair highlighted with sunbeams. His well-defined torso was a picture of ethereal health. His skin glowed like dewy spring honey, and his simple pants looked to be spun from shimmering spring moss. Cypress was usually in a better mood, but the continuity of human ignorance was beginning to annoy him. As the world aged and modernized, it lost natural charm. Cypress had to work harder to encourage healthy sexual exploits. Humans thrived when their physical desires were met, but everything about modern life seemed to work against Cypress's plans. He was leaning on the lip of the scrying fountain in the ascended realm, observing the obscure spring rituals of the mortals. They sadly needed an intervention.
"What is the matter, brother?" Daphne queried as she joined Cypress by the fountain.
Daphne, the god of war and strategy, was a sight to behold in the presence of her sibling. Her skin was like the darkest midnight sky, and her eyes shined like stars on a limitless horizon. Her dark hair flowed like a moonlit river. She wore a low-cut gown spun from molten iron and copper. Her jewelry was a mix of every hard metal used in war. Her sensual frame and striking beauty demanded admiration and fear.
"The usual, sister. I create a dazzling, romantic atmosphere for the mortals every spring, but they keep making excuses not to enjoy it. They love their misery," he sighed in disappointment.
"Is it really that simple, brother?"
"No, but it should be."
Daphne laughed at her brother's mood. It was rare to find Cypress irritable.
"The Modern Age frustrates us all. Humans are corrupted by their filtered reality. Mortals go weeks without touching anything in nature. Mother earth heals their exhausted spirits, yet they eagerly destroy her. War isn't fun anymore since mortals can no longer discern their enemies from their heroes. Intelligent mortals see the sickness of rampant ignorance and are dispirited by it. It exhausts them. I know you see it too, brother. Perhaps it is time for a quickening. When was the last time you indulged yourself?"
Cypress grinned at Daphne's question. She knew how to encourage his mischief.
"Not since the age of Bastileborn. There was never a better time for the mortals. It was the most arousing millennium of my existence."
"What made it so exquisite?"
"True heroes found love and justice, and the villains suffered like they should. There was also a lot of great sex," he grinned.
"Ah, of course. I'm sure your mortal lover enjoyed that time as well. What was her name again?"
"Irena," Cypress whispered with a smile.
"Ah, yes. Beauty, innocence, virtue, and a fiery spirit. She was exquisite. I also have fond memories of that millennium. The wars were spectacular and defined by honor and valor. Could the Modern Age experience such things?"
"Not while fools are happy and the wise suffer. It isn't fair, sister. The virtuous and intelligent mortals keep the realm from collapsing in ignorance, and they suffer for it. They are more like gods among men. They escape into the sanctuaries of their minds for respite, and that is where I meet them. I share my greatest stories, and they are happy for a time, but the demands of reality always return. Death will be their true release, and that is simply depressing. How did the Modern Age become so utterly joyless?"
"Our demonic cousins have been working overtime this century."
"They surely can't take all the credit," Cypress sighed.
"No, but they convinced the mortals to see good in corrupted things. That's where the disease of unhappiness begins. Too many mortals value material possessions over the health and happiness of their neighbors, not realizing it degrades their own soul in return. It is truly an evil mindset."
"Perhaps we should cull the foolish mortals along with the wicked. They don't appreciate anything good, so why should they exist?"
"Cypress, you're usually not the first to suggest violence. Don't give the High Father a reason to destroy us. He has already reduced us to custodians and gardeners. Why is your wrath running as hot as mine lately?"
"It must be my lack of indulgence. I need a vacation... or maybe an orgy."
"I have a better idea. Would you like to be a fool for a few days? I know a spell that can dampen your omniscience, allowing you to experience the life of an uninhibited mortal. Ignorance is bliss, after all. Your powers will be limited but not gone. Mortals will sense that you are special, but they won't understand why. I can drop you anywhere in the mortal realm. Would you enjoy that?"
"My dear Daphne, you sound almost eager to banish me. I'm sure this will be highly entertaining for you."
"It will," she grinned.
"Fine. I hope I don't regret this. Please, sister, strike me dumb."
"As you wish, brother."
With a snap of her burnished fingers, Daphne's spell pierced Cypress's mind, trapping his power and omniscience inside a cage of foolishness. With a wave of her hand, she cast her brother out of the ascended realm. He fell to the earth unnoticed, like reflected light on a raindrop. Daphne smiled as she leaned on the lip of the scrying fountain, waiting for her brother to awake as a mortal.
"Let the Spring of Lust begin," she chuckled.
Meanwhile, down on the earth, a young woman contemplates her future.
"Why do I have to have a degree to become a nun?" Anna muttered.
She was sitting by the duck pond in the university park, reading a religious pamphlet. Anna's parents encouraged her to continue her education and her devotion to the church. Her father suggested looking into joining a nunnery. Her main goal was to please her parents and God. She loved helping people. She dreamed of becoming a nurse, but blood made her squeamish. She had completed two years of nursing school before realizing she couldn't handle it. The freshman lab simulations still gave her nightmares. Being a nun seemed like a virtuous fallback, but she couldn't help wondering if there was more to life than religious devotion. Would God be disappointed with her if she became an artist? Her parents would. Anna lived a sheltered life. Her one and only friend, Becky, was just like her. They were leaders in their weekly Bible study and prayer group. It was Becky's turn to bring their lunch to the park bench, but she was running late. Anna sighed and opened her notebook to work on an English paper she had been putting off. She failed to notice someone taking a seat on the opposite end of the bench.
"Excuse me, miss. Can you help me?" whispered a charming male voice.
Anna blinked in surprise and looked to her left. She met the most enchanting green eyes she had ever seen. They were a dramatic distraction from the rest of his half-naked form. The man was stunning and only wearing pants. Anna immediately assumed he was a fashion model. He looked out of place in the dull park.
"Uh, yes. What do you need help with?"
Anna couldn't figure out what his green pants were made of. They shimmered like satin, but she couldn't see any threads.
"I don't know where I am... or who I am... and my head hurts," he mumbled as he touched the back of his head.
Anna gasped when she saw blood on his neck. It was dripping out of his shiny caramel-colored hair. She clutched at the bench with her stomach churning.
"I, uh, think you hit your head, sir," she gulped, trying not to vomit.
"Are you okay, miss?" he asked in concern.
