heathers-funny-valentine
ADULT ROMANCE

Heathers Funny Valentine

Heathers Funny Valentine

by apilgrimsquare
19 min read
4.77 (13000 views)
adultfiction
🎧

Audio Coming Soon

Audio being prepared

β–Ά
--:--
πŸ”‡ Not Available
Check Back Soon

Heather closed the door behind her, crossed the spare two feet of her shoebox bedroom, and pushed Nick onto the twin bed. Her sweater flew off while he unbuckled his belt, kicking his legs up in the air and bouncing on his butt in order to get his jeans off.

"This would've been a lot easier," he said, struggling, his curly brown hair jiggling, "if you just waited a second!"

"I'm impatient," she said, shrugging. She pulled on the strings of her sweatpants, sliding them down her legs and leaning forward, presenting her cleavage in its most advantageous position. "I don't like waiting."

"You really know how to make a guy feel special," he said, pulling his boxer shorts down. They had only been doing this for a couple of weeks, the whole "friends with benefits" thing. Heather still hadn't seen his flaccid cock. He was always hard by the time he got to her room. He was always ready.

That was just how Heather liked it.

She didn't have a lot of patience, after all. Didn't have a lot of time for talking.

And the less Nick Panetti talked, the better.

Heather climbed onto the bed, dragging her tongue up his thigh while he unbuttoned his shirt. She arched her back, giving Nick a good look at the back of her black Calvin Klein thong that split her ass in two. Her ass was her best feature, she thought, and she looked to emphasize it whenever and wherever she could. She had him in her mouth by the time he got to the final button, his fingers tugging on her wavy brown locks while she smothered his length between her lips.

"Spin around," he said. "I want to eat you, too."

Nick's insistence on eating her pussy was just one of the many reasons he'd become her number one fuck these past few weeks. Heather hooked one leg around him and scooched her knees up the bedspread, dangling her thong-covered ass and pussy in his face. She felt him lick the thong, pressing his tongue into the cotton, bathing it with his saliva. He pushed his fingers beneath the waistband, squeezing her ass as he worked. She pressed back on his face, moving her clit on his tongue while she bobbed up and down on his prick, pushing her own saliva over his head and down to the base. Nick pulled on the thong, ducking his head underneath and pulling Heather's clit into his mouth, matching her tempo. She was feeling pretty wet, now. She was ready. She looked back.

"Condom?"

"Jeans."

She leaned over, relying on his support as she clawed for the leg of his jeans and dragged them back to the scene. He never stopped eating. She loved that about him.

Scratch that, she thought. She

liked

that about him.

Heather tore the condom wrapper with her teeth and guided it onto his cock, holding the tip as she rolled it down.

"It's not lubed?"

"...I don't know? Am I supposed to be checking these things?"

"Ugh."

Heather spit on the tip and gave him one good suck, grimacing at the taste of latex. She hated using rubbers, but they weren't exclusive, and while she trusted Nick was as clean as he said, she hated the thought of chlamydia even more. Not to mention babies.

Pressing one hand on his chest for balance, and holding his cock in place for stability, Heather sat down, feeling the awesome rush of pleasure as he penetrated her. They both sighed.

"That was cuuuute," he said, looking up at her with his soft brown eyes, smiling like an imp.

"Shut up," she said, leaning on him with both hands now. "Don't ruin it."

Heather swiveled her hips as she rode Nick's cock, closing her eyes and focusing on the delightful friction. It was worse with a condom, no doubt. But worse with Nick was still pretty damn good, she thought. They had been friends since senior year of college, and had spent the last few years in the city running around in the same crowd. It killed her to know she had been missing out on this that whole time. She thought of the six months she had wasted last year on Colby, the promising, hunky investment banker who had neglected to mention his cocaine habit in his Tinder profile. The countless Autumn weekends spent on bad rebound dates when the cure for what ailed her had been right there in the Stowe Bunnies 2022 group chat this whole time. They hadn't hooked up on that particular ski trip, but the eight Cornell grads who made the trip to Stowe, VT that weekend had become a sort of Super Clique, the group chat being a staging ground for nights out, dinner parties, weekends away and all manner of social events that entertained the young grads as they navigated their new life in the big city.

She should have suggested they become fuck buddies years ago. Sure, he wasn't super ripped or anything. He wasn't rich, working as an assistant at a media company and pecking out his little screenplays on the side. And she had always categorized him as the goofy brother type as opposed to an authentic love interest. But he was cute. He was attentive. And he was usually down at a moment's notice.

"Play with my clit," she said. It felt so naughty to talk like that with a guy she had only seen as a friend before the New Years Eve party.

She didn't need to tell him twice. Nick licked his fingers and plunged his hand beneath her, rubbing her tingling clit in a gentle circle.

"Faster."

Right on cue, they both sped up. Heather grit her teeth and furrowed her brow, slapping her ass on his thighs. She heard the front door open and close. Sasha was home. That could be awkward. Oh, well. Sasha was a big girl. Nothing she hadn't seen or heard before. Nothing she wouldn't understand. Heather squeezed her legs against Nick's body, her knees rumpling his unbuttoned shirt, and stopped her movement in order to focus on the first order of business: coming.

She came like an earthquake, her whole body shaking. It was all she could do to cover her mouth, reaching over Nick's face for the headboard, muffling her screams as she shook the bed.

"Fuuccckkkk," she said, her breathing labored. "Ok. Stop. Stopstopstop. Too sensitive."

Nick withdrew his hand and smiled up at her.

"Get on your back?"

They carefully negotiated the movement of arms and legs required to trade places. Heather was still catching her breath as Nick rubbed his cock against her pussy, searching for her entrance. He pushed. No dice. The condom had dried out. He bent down and tasted her throbbing sex again, smacking his lips and grimacing as Heather had about the latex taste. He spit on his hand and lubed up the condom, entering her again and hammering away.

"Do you think you could take your bra off?"

Heather looked down. She'd forgotten all about her bra.

"Do I have to?"

"Depends how badly you want me to come," he said.

"You need to see tits to come?" Heather asked, squeezing and shaking her breasts, willing them to look bigger, fuller, firmer.

"No," he said. "Just yours."

She grinned, lifting the bra and curling up, crunching her abs to create the space to pull it past her shoulder blades and over her head.

"Ooh," Nick said. "Do that again. The crunch. I felt that."

"I'm too tired," Heather said, pushing her b-cup tits together, squeezing her vaginal walls and baring her teeth. "I just got fucked, you know. Give a girl... a break..." She was unlikely to come again, she knew, but his cock still felt amazing inside her, like a massage that only hit the good part, when the knots were all gone and the masseur's hands produced undisturbed bliss. Nick groaned. Heather felt his cock contract three times before he fell onto her, panting.

"I came," he said. Heather laughed and slapped his back.

"Me too, pal," she said, feeling the sweat spreading on his shirt. "Me too."

#

Heather produced a fresh pair of panties from the drawer, along with a pair of pajama pants and an old fraternity t-shirt she'd stolen once upon a time.

πŸ“– Related Adult Romance Magazines

Explore premium magazines in this category

View All β†’

"Beta?" Nick scowled when he saw the Greek letters on the shirt. "Who?"

"Use your imagination," Heather replied, securing her ponytail with a black hair tie.

"I'd rather not," he said, pulling his jeans on and sitting back on the bed, buttoning his shirt. "I think too much of you."

This is the part where you leave, Heather thought, pulling his camelhair coat from the closet and handing it over. Before you say any more cute shit.

"Right," he said. "Yeah, I should get going. I have an early day tomorrow."

Nick pulled his coat on, smoothing the collar, and Heather remarked at how grown up he looked these days. Gone were the days of ironic t-shirts and sloppy facial hair. Nick "Pasghetti" Panetti, against all odds, was turning into a handsome young man. It had always helped that he was a shade over six feet tall, but where he had seemed awkward and gangly in college, he was starting to seem more, well, mature. Suaver, especially now that he was clean-shaven. He held up his hand and Heather slapped it, moving to the side as he danced around her and out the door, smiling and waving with a little bow. Same old awkward Nick, in the end. Some things never change.

When the front door closed, Heather stepped into the tiny living room and flopped onto the love seat, resting her feet on the coffee table. The swimsuited contestants of

Love Island

danced on the TV screen. Her roommate Sasha occupied the other half of the sofa, and she stared at Heather, her jaw wide open. Heather caught her staring out of the corner of her eye, peeling her eyes from the TV and looking back at her roommate, slightly annoyed.

"What?" She asked.

"Um," Sasha finally said, "were you just fucking Nick Panetti?!"

"Guilty."

"Oh my god!" Sasha shouted, grabbing the back of her head. "What?! Since when?! How am I just learning this?!"

"Since, like, 15 minutes ago..."

"No!" Sasha said, gesticulating wildly. "Since when?!"

"Since New Years..." Heather said. She nodded slowly, raising her eyebrows, trying to remind Sasha of what happened that night just over a month ago.

The ball drop. The arched eyebrow. Kissing through "Auld Lang Syne." Kissing in the Uber back to Nick's apartment. They were drunk. The sex was unhinged that night, sloppy, awkward and ultimately anticlimactic for both of them.

But the sex the next morning, after Nick had ordered bagel sandwiches and iced coffee and enough coconut water to drown a small island, after he showed her his collection of old videos from college, including all the hare-brained short films he had written, directed and starred in... after he made her laugh so much she could have peed... That was a whole different story. That sex was a revelation. That sex was the basis for a productive and mutually beneficial arrangement that had seen them getting together at least twice a week throughout January and into February, more if they were all out together on the weekend and could coordinate their Irish exits under everybody's noses.

Sure, his apartment was a mess. They could use hers, when the coast was clear, when Sasha was working weekends or spending the night at one of her own paramour's. And sure, he still made dumb jokes that sometimes made her cringe. But his sex made up for the cringing, as long as nobody could make fun of her for it, and he still made her laugh, too.

"I know, but I thought that was just a onetime thing! Are you two, like, dating?!"

"Would you stop screaming? You're gonna wake the dead."

Sasha leaned across the sofa, grabbing Heather's arms.

"Are you?!"

They weren't. They were emphatic about that, when they set the ground rules a few days later, when Nick texted her on Saturday afternoon to say he had an errand to run in her neighborhood. She was sure he didn't, not really, but she told him to come over anyway. She stopped him when he tried to kiss her. "No kissing," she had said. "That's rule number one. Kissing is romantic, and that's not what we're doing, here." Nick could live with that.

"No!" Heather said. "We're just, you know... having fun, that's all..."

Sasha waited a beat before returning to her previously occupied position and pausing the show.

"So, it's just, like, another rebound thing?"

Heather shot daggers at Sasha.

"Every time you invoke the specter of Colby, we need to burn more sage. It's not a rebound thing. It's just sex. I'm done with dating. And I definitely don't want him to be my boyfriend. I just want to bone every now and then, and Nick knows how to keep things casual."

"Oh my god..." Sasha said, shaking her head, grinning madly. "Who else knows?!"

Lying naked on the bed, sweaty and tired, Nick had played with her hair and asked a similar question.

"What are we going to tell people?"

"Nothing," Heather had replied. "No telling. That's rule number two. It's nobody's business."

"I mean... Sasha's gonna find out."

"Oh? What makes you so sure this is gonna happen again?"

"Hey,

you

invited

me

over!"

"You knew what you were doing when you texted me."

"Nobody else knows," Heather said, picking up the remote and pressing play again. "At least I haven't told anybody."

"You better not have!" Sasha said, slapping Heather's arm. "Holy shit. I cannot believe you're fuck buddies with Pasghetti. Are you going to do anything for Valentine's Day?!"

"Absolutely not!" Heather said, before realizing they hadn't even discussed it. And why would they have? They were keeping things casual, she comforted herself with thinking. No reason the upcoming Hallmark holiday should be anything but a normal, regular day. They might not even see each other that night at all.

"Everything's going to get so weird," Sasha said, her voice distant and dreamy.

No it wasn't, Heather thought.

That was rule number three.

No making it weird.

πŸ›οΈ Featured Products

Premium apparel and accessories

Shop All β†’

"Ha!" Nick had laughed pretty hard at that. "I'll try my best."

Then again, Heather thought, with Nick, weird was always a risk.

They watched the television, laughing at the antics of the young couples on the screen navigating the challenges the Love Island producers had laid out for them.

"How do you watch this trash?" Heather asked. "These people are ridiculous."

"I don't know," Sasha said. "They're just, like... having fun..."

Heather threw a pillow and they laughed some more.

#

"Maybe we could roleplay," Nick said that Thursday night, pressing Heather's legs back with his shoulders, rubbing his thumbs on her nipples while Heather spread herself open for him.

"What?" She asked, only half listening.

"You know, roleplay," he continued, "like acting, but real life. Like I'm a teacher, you're a sexy schoolgirl and you've forgotten to do your homework..."

Heather smiled, but shook her head. He had been like this in college, too. Recruiting people for his films, asking friends to study the ridiculous scenes he'd written and prepare to act them out in front of his iPhone. She and her friends had made fun of it back in school. Sure, she had to admit that after seeing some of the fully edited videos on New Years Day that he actually might have some talent, but this was all dredging up some tough memories, reminding her why she had been so reluctant to get involved with Nick in the first place.

"Or I could be a schoolboy. Hell, I could be the homework if you wanna go abstract."

Heather laughed and shook her head again, her face pleading with him to get serious. Nick was amazing in bed, she thought, but his humor had a way of escaping whatever prison he usually put it in while they fucked. She needed to make it disappear.

"Please don't make me laugh," she said, looking away. "It's... mmm... distracting..."

Nick moved his hand up her chest, past her throat and cupped her face, turning her gaze back to his, pressing his face against hers. Now this was more like it, Heather thought. More of this aggressive, masculine Nick, less of the goofy, awkward Nick. At least while he was inside her, please.

"I could dress up like Super Mario," he said. "Mamma mia!"

"Nooo," Heather said, moving a hand from her ass to her clit, rubbing her sensitive button as Nick's cock explored her insides. "Please don't be cringe when you're fucking me, for the love of God. No more talking. Please. Please..."

Nick seemed to get the hint and dropped the subject. Heather excised the image of Super Mario pounding her cunt and focused on the growing pleasure inside her, finishing herself off just before Nick filled the condom and they collapsed in a sweaty, breathy heap.

"Roleplaying, though," he said as they got dressed. "Really not into it?"

Heather had thought it was just dirty talk. She didn't realize he was serious.

"I don't know," she said. "Not really. It's kind of, you know,

weird

?"

"It's not weird," he said. "It's fun."

"Have you done that before?"

"No," he admitted. "Most girls think it's weird."

Heather crossed her arms triumphantly.

"But, like, I don't know," he continued, "whatever this is, shouldn't we be willing to try stuff? Keep it light, keep it fun."

"You're not having fun?"

"That's not what I mean. You know I am."

He dropped the subject and showed himself out.

Ever since college, Nick had always been talking about the movies he wanted to make. He had a folder full of aborted screenplay ideas that he brought up in casual conversation. And he had made a couple of amateur shorts at school, roping people into his little skits. Maybe his desire for roleplaying was just a natural extension of that, Heather thought. But it felt a little too personal. A little too involved. Heather wanted to keep things purely physical, and avoid any unnecessary emotional entanglements. Nick was starting to push things to a weird place.

"Mamma mia," she said, shaking her head and heading to the bathroom. Sasha was still at work, and the apartment was quiet. "Jesus Christ."

#

Dinner Friday night was a packet of instant rice and a bowl of steamed, frozen vegetables. Heather shook salt into the bowl while Sasha lit a candle on the coffee table, and the two scarfed down their food. They were due at Talea on Christopher Street in an hour, where a few of the Stowe Bunnies agreed to meet, and needed to conserve as much of that time as possible to get ready.

Heather wore a padded black tube top and jeans, accessorizing with a black choker and teasing her wavy brown hair out. She looked in the mirror and frowned. Her tits always looked bigger in her imagination when she pulled the tube top from the drawer, but it was too late to change, now. She could always wear her coat inside, she figured. At least her ass looked good. As soon as Sasha finished straightening her dirty blonde bangs, they were out the door.

Talea was a mob scene, as usual, but Evan, Spencer and Claudia had secured a table in the front. Spencer waved to Heather and Sasha as they stepped in from the February cold, rubbing their hands together and trotting over to the group.

"Best seats in the house!" Evan cried out above the din, his blue eyes sparkling.

"Did you have to get something right by the door?" Sasha asked. "It's freezing."

"That's what the beer's for," Evan said, sliding two lagers across the table.

Heather kept her coat on while she hugged everyone hello, only removing her scarf when she took her seat. The four-top was already overcrowded with five, Heather thought. It would be hard for anyone else to find a seat.

"Where's Nick?" She asked, trying to avoid making eye contact with Sasha.

"Not coming," Spencer said.

"Pasghetti's got a hot date," Evan said, grabbing the air above his head and punching his cheek with his tongue.

"Really?" Heather said, wishing she had practiced her poker face.

"Tinder date," Spencer said, shrugging. "Maybe he'll be out later."

"Yeah, if he blows it," Evan said, taking a long sip of his beer.

Heather unzipped her coat and placed it on the back of her chair. It was fine that Nick was on a date, she thought. That was just fine. They were keeping things casual, after all. She might be done with dating, at least for a while, but there was no reason Nick couldn't go out and meet other women. No reason at all. No, Heather thought, that was just fine.

Enjoyed this story?

Rate it and discover more like it

You Might Also Like