Well here it is people! Thanks for all your votes on the last chapter, sorry its been so long but i was waiting to see what you all thought! Enjoy :) And please please comment if you read this!!!
MissBoePeep ;)
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"Could I have two cappuccino's, a Danish and a blueberry muffin please Sharon"
Sharon smiled knowingly. Ok, so maybe I would have to explain before she gave me what I'd ordered. It was normally pretty handy having one of your best mates working at Starbucks, especially since I used it everyday. She always let me use her discount and we normally had a catch up while she took her break. Today, however, it wasn't handy. She'd want to know all the details of what happened with Matt and I didn't even know what was going on myself!
"Hmm, I'm afraid your going to have to give me some minor details about your night of passion with that young man you walked in here with Ms Wright." She watched me seriously but with a smile playing on the edge of her lips and I knew I had to let her know some details.
"Nothing happened ok Sharon?" I explained. "He just felt bad cause he turned me down and we went for dinner that's all."
"And?" She demanded. I sighed and decided to give in and play the smitten love-struck teenager in order to shut her up. This was not a role I enjoyed playing but it kept her happy so I tended to use it whenever I'd had a bad date or something. But then.. last night wasn't like that. It wasn't a date and it certainly wasn't bad!
I sighed and decided to be honest with her. In truth I really wanted to tell somebody but I didn't want to be overheard by Matt who was sat a few tables away and I didn't want to tell Sharon who would ask why I hadn't shagged him.
"Ok Sharon. It was the most romantic night of life. We had dinner and we walked on the beach and we kissed on the beach." I wasn't about to tell her I cried in his arms and we fell asleep on the beach so I edited a little. "I asked him to come back to mine and he did. We kissed for god knows how long, he pinned me against the wall and kissed me, I wrapped my legs around his waist and he pulled back, and apologized. He put me into bed and slept on my couch and then this morning we decided to come and get some coffee. Believe me I don't know what I'm doing so don't ask and yes I want him to throw me onto one of these tables and take me right here right now Sharon. That enough detail for you?" I put the money for the drinks on the counter.
Sharon's expression went from delight to disgust and then to a broad grin and then anger and another smile all in the 2 minutes it took me to explain all this. I couldn't help but giggle, and it wasn't even my normal boisterous laugh it was a tiny, naughty giggle. Like I was saying 'i'm such a bad girl'. Sharon laughed too and said "Ok then, but I hope you know what your doing."
I put my hand on my chest and gave a look of mock surprise. "You know me Sharon!" I picked up the tray of cappuccino's and cakes and turned, walking towards where Matt was sitting staring at his entwined hands on the table. I frowned, wondering what he was doing. And heard Sharon call after me.
"That's what I'm worried about!" She said. I only smiled. Ok so she had a point. But this time I wasn't going to screw things up. I was going to be myself and he was going to leave. But that's ok, so long as I didn't become somebody I hated, like last time.
When I met Daniel I wore high-heels, make-up and short skirts. I loved to party and I wasn't shy. I wouldn't say I was a slut but I knew what got a man's attention. We dated for about a year and by the time the girls chucked him out of my flat at 2 in the morning 365 days later I was a different person.
I was shy and distant. I wore clothes Daniel told me I had to – jeans and jumpers, covering me up as much as possible. I didn't go out or drink anymore, we sat on the sofa with take-out and watched his favourite programmes nearly every night and went to his mum's once a week for Sunday dinner. I didn't see any of the girls, I got rid of my mobile and I didn't see my family anymore. Daniel shouted all the time, hit me occasionally and our sex life was pretty much multiple rapes. It was now a month after the split and I still had bruised ribs, thighs and wrists because of him.
I watched Matt as I walked slowly forward with the tray of food and drinks and couldn't imagine him ever hurting anybody. He had a pained expression on his face as he looked at his hands, he looked vulnerable and I wanted to make it better more than anything else I'd ever wanted in my life. But I also wanted to know him. I wanted him to tell me who had hurt him so much.
I placed the tray down on the table in front of him and he didn't look up. So I went to stand beside him, placing my hand lightly on his shoulder. "Matt? Are you ok?" I asked, getting more and more worried and trying not to let my voice crack as I spoke.
He snapped out of his dap-dreams and dropped his hands onto his knees. He smiled but it didn't touch his eyes as he turned to face me. "Sorry honey I was miles away. Here." He stood and walked around the table to the other chair and moved it closer to his own, pulling it out for me to sit on. I smiled back at him and sat in the chair, dragging it towards the table gently.
"Is something wrong Matt?" I paused, not expecting an answer and then said, "Actually that's a stupid question I know there's something wrong and I know you won't tell me. What I want to know is why you won't tell me. But I don't think you're going to tell me that either, are you?" I didn't know where it came from but suddenly I'd said it, and yes I had wanted to really but I didn't want him to feel pressured or anything so I'd kept quiet. I guess my curiosity won that fight.
"I can't Soph. Not yet. I will explain, I promise, but I need to be closer to you first. You're the first person I've felt anything for in a long time but I have a lot of thinking to do before anything can happen." He looked at my warily, as if he was afraid I would laugh at him or turn and bolt.
I ignored my now racing heart, which was thumping away in my chest so much I thought I was going to combust and reminded myself to breath. I took two deep breaths to calm myself and tried to smile as warmly as I could. I reached my hand out across the table and covered his with it. He smiled at me weakly and squeezed my fingers. Even though it was a small gesture, unnoticed in a crowded café it was one of the most intimate minutes of my life. A surge of emotions passed through me and he said a thousand things with his deep, sapphire eyes.
We drank our cappuccinos and ate our cake's; talking all the while of anything we could think of. Again, he avoided talking about himself much but this time I understood and let it go. Asking only simple questions. In an hour I found out about his favourite TV programme's, how naughty he was at school, his favourite colours, why he joined the army, that he had lived 2 streets away from me for about 8 months and that he loved animals.