Hard Money Lender Fucks His Banker

Hard Money Lender fucks his banker

Copyright Catcher78 all rights reserved

Author's Notes: These are my stories you have no permission to copy, sample or rewrite. It's a true story, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

I was working for a bank in those days, simultaneously trying to save the failing bank and collect from very rich folks on their non-performing loans. Some ranged from $500 thousand to $3 million. Depending on the overall case I worked with attorneys in the bankruptcy practice and two of them were especially good Tim Lerner and Mikayla Feinberg. Both belonged to the same reformed Jewish community in the Lake Forest Park area just on the North end of Lake Washington.

This was a particularly serpentine case involving a hard money lender. Two of the most favorite people I've ever known, kind and smart and baseball fans.

Hard money lenders are non-bank banks that are unregulated and in this case Hallock Ryno lent millions upon millions of dollars to rich assholes at exorbitant rates thirty to fifty percent. Hallock Ryno had a four million dollar line of credit with this piddly bank I was consulting with.

Tim had figured out that the consequences of the loan agreement we had that the bank had ownership rights to the deeds of trusts the bank had lent against in the event of default on the loan and default was the name of the camel I was riding. So, this gets all tangled up with bank employees sleeping together and with Gary Ryno which if you saw the guy was repulsive but was longer than Seattle Slew, but the same gal was sleeping with one of the women I was in charge of, but I'm ahead of myself.

Cathy Raines was the loan officer who did the loan with Gary Ryno and her cleverness was what had protected the bank somewhere though Gary Ryno caused her to leave her family and move in with him and lost her career as the FDIC and the State of Washington was all over this. Then when we started zeroing in on Gary and had several in depth meetings with him, Tim and I to be specific, Gary pled that he was not feeling well and the next day my assistant, the recently divorced Debbie Y, mother of four called in sick on a Thursday and Friday and the following Monday with pink streaks in her hair and an anklet on her left ankle with little jewels.

I asked if she was feeling better and she said she'd never felt so wonderful and I said I really like your hair and the anklet is so sexy. She had hit on me previously and I did not follow through, thank God.

She said "Teddy, I have to confess something to you."

I raised my eyebrows.

She said, "I know that we had grown close..."

Sweet Jesus, I said to myself, that is it, she's the actress that blended the rabbit in that fucking movie, oh fuck where is this going...

She said, "Do you remember Cathy Raines?"

I nodded.

"I've moved in with Cathy and am in love with her, I've never known such pleasure..."

Fucking Leonard Cohen was filling my mind with Hallelujah and I thought about kissing Debbie to thank her, but she was still talking...

I said, "I'm sorry, I missed that, I aaamm so shaken that you and I oh lord never..."

Debbie says, "I knew this would hit you hard. I had to rip the bandage off and I'm so sorry, but I can't deny my love for Cathy. I really am sorry."

I had started to say some prayers and was telling God that I would listen in Church.

And fucking Debbie was still babbling.

I said, "What?"

She said, "This HAS been fast, but we're living together and we're going to get married."

I said, "Is that possible?"

She said, "Yes, Washington, Oregon and California, now allow it."

"What do your boys think?'

"I haven't told them yet but my daughter loves my piercings and my tattoos?"

I did the eyebrow interrogatory again and she said, "Two interlinked hearts...gold hearts on my bottom and the underside of my boobs."

I needed a TMI button on my keyboard, but on she plunged, "Then five piercings."

I no longer had control of my eyebrows nor my blushing which I thought I'd left behind in high school.

She pointed her fingers with very long fake pink nails at her breasts and then down below and said, "Nipples, lips and button. Cathy is in charge of me now and I love it. I know immediately I've needed her for a long time."

I was both gob smacked and for once in my life dumbstruck.

"Will this have any impact on my job?"

My brain checked in bells ringing Red Alert!!!

I said, "Well I need to talk to Chuck and the HR folks but the only issue I think would be the Hallock Ryno loan."

"That's what Cathy thought, too."

I don't where this next thing blurting from my mouth came from, but I could not unsay it, "Umm, Debbie did you know that Cathy and Gary are or have been partners?"

Debbie said, "Oh their love is forever and I would never interfere with that. Gary is able to touch parts of Cathy I wish my husband could have. Gary paid for my tattoos and piercings."

"You too," I said?

"Oh no, I'm a lesbian and Cathy is bi-sexual. Do you like my ring?"

She fluttered this enormous pinkish diamond in front of my face and said, "Gary, collected on a loan and the diamond was collateral. By the way, Gary is going to walk me down the aisle and we're all going on the honeymoon to Cabo San Lucas. I will understand and not take offense if you don't come to the wedding, Teddy."

I said, "Out of respect to you I will, but I can't interact with Cathy and Gary."

My mind was racing that she'd flew off the rails in the last five days and clearly would tell Cathy and Gary anything and somehow, she had to be moved out of this whole troubled asset world without causing some sort of civil rights issue.

The wedding went fine, I'd called in sick the day before and talked to Debbie via her voicemail telling her how deathly ill I was and that I did not want to make any of the three of you sick on your honeymoon. I wondered if there was a part of a Guiness book of World records where three people went on a honeymoon, excluding mothers of the bride.

Monday, I flew out to Las Vegas to look at more Hallock Ryno loan collateral that included an Iranian rug merchant that owned two BMW Maybach sedans ($175,000) some Ghermezian properties, a house owned by the CEO who was an ethnic Chinese fellow that had emigrated from Singapore and was an utter crook who looked for kickbacks and had been fired from previous banks for such chicanery.

Finally, back to Seattle and a meeting at Northgate mall with Hallock Ryno investors, another group of utterly deluded entitled people. I explained that the bank had control of the deeds of trust because Hallock Ryno was in default. I finally met Mr. Hallock and he said he knew where Gary was and called him a sick, perverted son of a bitch and said to Tim and I that Gary was fucking his wife too. I further explained that I'd just returned from Las Vegas and the collateral was horribly overvalued.

A guy well known in the area as a Volvo Car Dealer Marty Loaser immediately jumped up and said that Gary had personally vouched for the properties. I asked him," What does vouched mean? Did he offer substitute collateral?"

He shook his head no.

I told the folks that I could not further comment. Loaser handed me a flyer that stated the investors had pumped in $25 million dollars. I looked at him and shrugged.

Finally, it was Friday and Tim was in the bank's boardroom with one other Hallock Ryno collateral note that was a piece of property in Fife assessed at $1,000,000 and it belonged to his mother. His name was Louis Gardini. He was half Greek and half Sicilian. Imagine if the old comedian Buddy Hackett was a woman and bred with ex WWF champion Bruno Samartino. Louis was about five foot eight and weighed maybe three hundred pounds give or take with no body fat. Louis was a leg breaker and enforcer for several parts of the Mafia in the Milwaukee area as well as New Jersey. He was a stone cold killer.

His lovely wife and mother of their two children, a boy and a daughter was sitting to my right and Louis two chairs to my left. The reason for the meeting was that Louis was to give me a check for $500,000 and I would release on his mother's property that she did not know that Louis had wrongfully put up for collateral. I think Louis might have been afraid of his mom. Remember Buddy Hackett in a black cotton dress.

Things got heated between Tim and Louis who threatened to wring Tim's neck I pounded the table and said to Louis, "Knock this shit off."

Louis gave me his prison stare and I did not break off the stare.

Mrs. Gardini was in her mid-forties maybe and had red hair and had been a dancer of sorts and ran Louie's night club in Ballard which had been an old fire station and close inspection suggested that she had some body shaping surgery done at some point to help her on the job as a dancer. She spoke to her husband, "Louie dear, be nice. Teddy is a good man."

At this point she laid her superstructure on my forearm and patted my hand and she also had pink fingernails. Things were quiet and I turned my head and stared at my forearm. I razed my gaze to her face and she smiled and was so beautiful and my mind froze up for a moment and Tim said, "Teddy?"

I tore my face away and looked at Tim doing the whole RCA dog with the head tilt, wondering just why in fucking hell he was talking to me, I was really in pain, because I could never, Louie'd kill me and she was so fucking beautiful. Little Teddy who'd been in deep slumber for ten years at this point raised his head and said, "Hoo haw!" My fucking life was a fucking Greek tragedy and I said, "Louie, just sign the check and put the property address on the memo line. It will take a day to clear the funds and record and I will call you so that if you want you can come down and get it."

Louie took out his checkbook and wrote the check. She was still patting my hand and I looked at her again and I must have had the most sorrowful face because she leaned in and said, "I'm sorry baby."

I took the check out to the teller line and had it deposited and photographed and brought the receipt to Louie. I shook his hand and I still didn't know her name and she hugged me and noted Little Teddy's presence with a wiggle.

I went home that night and looked her up on facebook via her last name. Their son also had pink hair and the daughter looked a thin version of mom. Poor Louie.